"I don't care what you say or what you think," she said in a loud and firm voice. "Look outside. Just look. It's all foggy and wet. Cold even, and if you're going to play that drum at the graduation, you're going to wear your pajamas under that uniform. I don't want you starting summer with a cold."
My mother was always testing control. Making me do things I didn't want to do. But I gave in and left my PJ's on. I put my uniform over them.
Unfortunately, they were pink; my uniform was dark blue.
I was a member of the school drum corps and we were playing at the June commencement. I was graduating. The beginning of a new life. And as it turned out, it really was a beginning. A fork in the road, and I took the left path.
The graduating class at St Johns' Preparatory Academy was the largest since the school was opened in 1904, or some such far off year. Yet it comprised only forty six students. We all knew each other well, for we had been together for four long hateful years. The worst years of my life, And I was glad that I was finally leaving my 'friends'.
I was the class sissy, the butt of jokes and taunts and frequent hazing, protected only by Danny Tobin, the sole friend and companion I had.
No, I wouldn't miss the class of 1995. Nor would I return to the scene of misery. This was really a new beginning.
Mother was right. It was damp and cold, and the ceremony was overlong with boring speeches. I did get called up to the stage to receive a certificate of scholarship, but that only made the gap between me and the other students grow wider.
So we played our snare drums and sounded the bugles, and the ceremony finally was over amid shouts of relief and joy. Danny and I turned away toward the gate leading out of the football field, when there was a shout.
"Where's the sissy?"
"Yeah. Where's Jody Wilson?"
"Hey, shit man, look!"
"Shit look. Can't you see? He's got something hanging out of his pants."
"Shit! I don't think he got a cock. You ever see it?"
"I think it's his pajamas."
"Look! The fuckers're pink."
"Christ, she's too much, isn't she?"
"Well shit man! Are we just going to let him walk out of here?"
"Yah! Yah! The fairy's got pink jammies."
With a sudden commotion of rush and noise and cruel taunts, I was surrounded.
"Leave him alone." I heard Danny say. "He's not hurting you, so leave him alone."
"Yah! Yah! Yah! Let's see what he's got under his pants."
"Yeah, let's do it. I always wondered if the sissy boy got a cock or not."
"Yah! Yah! Yah!"
And in one incredible motion, I felt the impact of arms and legs assailing me. I fell down to the ground. Someone pulled off my shoes. Many fingers unbuttoned the blue tunic of the uniform. My belt was loosened, and my pants were pulled off. I lay on the ground. covered only by my pajamas. I was afraid, and I lost control, urinating into the bottoms of them.
"Shit! The cocksucker pissed in his pants."
"Let's see the rest of sissy boy. He wouldn't take a shower with us.
Yah! Afraid to show himself. I want to see him naked. Yah!" And fighting hands pulled off what remained, and I lay on my back, naked and vulnerable.
They stepped away so they could see me, looking at me bare-ass in the dirt.
They gaped and jeered. They howled. My cock was erect, sticking up out of the silky hair that surrounded it. And as they watched, the gobs of white sperm spurted into the air and fell on my chest, and even my face. It was then that they turned away. They were silent in their sudden realization of what they had done to me, and one by one they walked away. Only Danny remained. He knelt beside me and kissed me lightly on the lips, until the throbbing climax subsided with a shudder of exquisite pleasure.
He dressed me and led me home. Without a word or invitation, he followed me upstairs to my room. Fully clothed, we lay together on the bed, our arms and legs entangled, and I hid my shame in the veil of sleep.
It was dark when I awakened. Somehow, we slept the afternoon and evening away. I sensed Dannys' presence lying beside me on the other side of the bed.
"You awake?" He asked with a hoarse whisper.
"Yes Danny, I'm awake." I thought of what had happened. A load of guilt and shame hung heavy in clouded thoughts. Why did I blame myself for what others did to me? Was it my fault that made them do it? Because I'm, not like them? Because I'm a sissy? Out loud I said "Sissy!"
Danny put his hand on my shoulder. Don't. Don't torture yourself.
Every one of them, alone, by himself, is a nice guy. Okay? But put them all together and they become something else. It was a bad thing to have happen Jody, but it's done and over with now. You got to forget it."
"You don't understand, Danny. I like it. I LOVED it. Looking at them staring at me. At me naked. My cock got hard, harder'n ever. Did you look at me, Danny? Did you see my hard-on? Didn't it excite you when I creamed? The cum went everywhere. Jesus, Danny! It felt so great."
Finally Danny broke the silence that followed my outburst. I had to strain to hear what he said for he spoke so quietly. "Yes, I looked Jody." He was quiet a moment, and then he added, "You know what, Jody? I got hard too.
I came too, in my pants. You didn't know that, did you?"
It took a long time to assimilate what he said, to understand what he was telling me, but in the darkness his hand found my thigh. I could feel the warmth of it, the gentle pressure of a squeeze, the gliding fingers slipping up to my cock, and when he finally reached it, I was hard again.
Somehow, in the hidden reaches of my mind, I knew what he wanted, and somehow, I knew I wanted it too. I reached to him and released his zipper. My fingers touched the fabric of his shorts and felt the solid cock underneath.
"Ah Jody! I've wanted this for so long a time," he said. He slipped off the bed and I could hear the rustle of his clothes as he took them off.
Somehow I wriggled out of mine. We were naked, and we held onto each other.
Our lips, soft and moist, came together in an open kiss.
"Aaaaaaaah" The sense of contact was wonderful. A flush of security and horny need took over. "Don't stop. Please don't pull away."
"I have to, Jody, to do what I want to do. What I've wanted to do for so long." His lips drew away from mine and traced a cool stream of saliva along the side of my neck to where the shoulder meets. Then down to the armpit and over to the nipple.
He sucked the swollen berry into his mouth. First one, then the other then back to the first again. The nibbling sent waves of pleasure to my loins. It was something I had never considered or thought about.
The wet trail traced to the belly button, his chin touching my soaring cock, stretching itself so hard, trying to escape its' own elastic skin.
I raised my hips off the mattress, rubbing the tip of my cock against the silken flesh of his throat as he kissed and probed his tongue into my navel. And then down he went, below the cock, to the balls, velvet shriveled skin lightly dusted with fine hair. He kissed them. Suckled them into his mouth. I was building a need, my whole body trembling in this new-found pleasure,
Slipping up the shaft, his lips somehow enfolded themselves over the knob.
Down he came upon it. The tip so sensitive to exquisite pleasure, going deeper and deeper into the warm, wet reaches of his throat. The sensation was full of wonder, almost painful, acute and piercing as it surged up my spine and spread everywhere inside me.
I was crying now. Moans and groans were inadequate to express my surrender.
My stomach quivered with each suck, each bob of the head, the touch of fingers on my asshole. And then it began. Deep in my balls. Surging upward though the swollen tube. Ah God! The wonder of it as the cum shot out of my cock in pulsating spurts until I could stand it no longer.
With my hands on his head, I pulled him away.
We lay still for a long time, each of us afraid to break the spell.
Our fingers, tightly laced together, held us there upon the bed fearful that the moment of love that had sparked between us so suddenly and with such force, would disappear, like the crash of a symbol or a puff of smoke. What did he do to me, I wondered? Is a part of me inside him now? He must love me, to give me so much of himself.
He stirred and moved, the mattress shaking gently, and I felt his leg encircle mine, his swollen cock against my thigh as he pushed his hips, causing a friction. His arms pulled me tightly to him. The touch of his silken skin excited me once more. He stretched his body over mine. Our cocks rubbed together now, feet leveraged, gave impetus to the insistent grinding of hips against hips. And his lips found mine, open and juicy.
He snaked his tongue inside. His arms imprisoned me.
Responding to his demands, I pushed my body up and forward, and we humped together. Two animals in heat. Again, cum splashed, mixing loves fluids in the cave-pocket of our heated loins. Weakened with repeated pleasure I slipped into a dreamless sleep. Sated, but wanting, needing, demanding more of what only he could give me.
When we awoke, who knows when, in this enchanted night, I became the aggressor, for I needed to take and active part in this discovery of love.
We must have slept a long time, for the moon was high, lighting the room in a mystical way, shining on the ivory skin we hid from the world.
He lay on his side. His eyes were open, looking at me. Smiling, almost laughing in victory for he knew I was his now. I stretched my arms out to him. My fingers encircled his hard cock. Bending over, I kissed the loose skin that enfolded over the tip of it. and I slipped it down over the smooth knob exposing the slit, I could smell the sweat imprisoned in his loins. This was what he wanted, for with a gentle movement, he slipped his cock into my mouth.
That was the beginning of the sense of my true destiny. This was the action I needed to fulfill by life, to be a whole person. Yes this was surely it.
His cock slipped down my throat and I began the suck. I loved the connection, of hooking his body to mine the culmination that completed the act of love.
As the mounting pleasure began its' climb, a sense of power came over me.
I teased all the delicious nerves that scattered over the tight erect shaft. He moaned. He twisted his body in unfamiliar contortions.
And thrusting his hips forward, he forced his cock deeper into the accepting mouth-cave. My tongue added pleasure by lapping the sensitive dick-top.
When I felt the added swelling of the cock, I pulled away. I looked at him. His eyes were glowing coals of lust. He grabbed my head, and pushed it to his loins. Tenderness had lost its way along passions road, and horny need and hunger had taken over. He held my head in place and fucked the cock in and out of my mouth. My own needs surrendered to his, and with a final plunge, his hips off the bed, he ejaculated his cum in short, powerful spurts, deep into my throat. And it was done! Completed.
Ah to suck a cock, to be a cocksucker, to give in to the demands of another, to give the final pleasure. That is the greatest pleasure of all.
I know. I learned it that night.
It was then the dreaded word 'cocksucker' became a magical word. To accept myself for what I was. It was a word to live by. Cocksucker, I thought.
Oh God! and I began to kiss it, to lick it, to suck again, hungry and demanding, like an infant at its' mothers teat. so proud of what I had done.
I clung to his buttocks, my nose buried in pubic hair, and the fountain of cum began again. In agony, he pulled away. I could see him clearly now in the moonlight. His long lean torso was free of hair, except for the patch that surrounded his cock. Ah Yes! His cock! Still standing up like a victorious soldier, not a conquered one, though surely I had conquered his. It glistened with saliva and cum, the combined liquor of love. And I leaned forward to kiss it once more.
"I'll never get enough of you, Danny."
"Nor I," he moaned, wetting his lips with his tongue. We were silent for a moment, then he said in a strong and strident voice, accenting each word, "Shit man! You are a cocksucker!"
"So are you."
"Yes, so am I," he agreed softly, and that is how we ended it.
I knew so little about him. He had only begun school in his senior year.
I had never been to his house or met his parents. He was a loner, and seemed to want to keep it that way. I realized that he did not open his life to anyone, but our friendship was different now. And then in the peace of contentment, in a loving embrace, we fell asleep.
When I awoke, he was gone. His side of the bed was cold, he must have been gone a long time. And though I searched for him all summer, I never found him. I never saw his face or his sucked his cock again. He was only an unforgettable memory, that opened a hidden door leading to a secret world from which I would never return.
Yes, that was the day I graduated.