Confessions

Empty beer bottles sat on the floor, the coffee table and there was even one on the side table next to the remote for the television which had been turned off for over an hour. Music played softly in the room, so low the voices of other students could be heard from outside, yelling and joking around, for it was Friday night, the start of the weekend and therefore they were supposed to party. The room was dimly lit by one lamp; its bulb too low a wattage to properly illuminate the room. The corners were in dark shadow and everything had a warm glow about it, even the three guys lounging around the room.

Jake lay on the sofa, his bare feet propped on one arm and his head on the other. He was shirtless, for he was the jock of the three, the one who liked to show off the body that he worked hard to acquire, going to the gym five to six days a week. He was the bravado of the group, the one that was usually the loudest, the biggest flirt, easily capturing the attention of the girls they met in bars or on campus between classes or at some function. His stats? Need you ask, for he routinely listed them off to anyone who’d listen. Six foot one, one hundred seventy-two pounds, blonde with blue eyes and he had both ears pierced, a tattoo on one pec and around one bicep. And he was considering getting one nipple pierced, for he had seen a bar through a guy’s nipple at the gym and he wanted it.

“I don’t know man, that sounds like bullshit to me” said Jake, looking over at Dylan.

Dylan was sitting in the armchair sideways, legs dangling over one arm and leaned up against the other, with one arm laying across the back. Dylan was the wingman, the one Jake went to for backup in whatever scheme he was cooking up, from luring over girls to their table, to daring some freshman to do something stupid. He was the friendliest of the three, the one that could talk his way through any situation, no matter how fucked up it got.  He had dark red hair, emerald green eyes, and a scattering of freckles across his cheeks and nose, making him look more innocent that he was. He was a little shorter than Jake, with an average lean build, kept in shape by long bike rides that Jake deemed boring or dangerous or queer with the tight shorts and jerseys Dylan wore. But Dylan swore to Bobby in private he thought Jake checked him out when he wore them.

“Come on, man, don’t be so backward, you know it’s not that black and white. Right, Bobby?” Dylan replied to Jake, then looking over Bobby for confirmation he was the one who was right.

Bobby was on the floor, lying across the rug between the coffee table and console with the television and gaming system. Leaned up on one elbow where he could look over the coffee table, his eyes went from Jake to Dylan and back, listening to their banter as they argued. It was a normal thing to him, staying to one side, quiet, listening to his friends go back and forth. They’d known each other since high school and were now juniors in college. He knew he was introverted, shy as his family called it, the one who always held back. He loved his two friends, but they also made him feel some sense of inadequacy. He knew it was an exaggeration for the way some girls flirted with him first, the one they said was the cutest. But he felt being called cute spoke too much of his looks. He wanted to be called attractive or hot or one of the other descriptions Dylan or Jake always received. He was five foot eight, skinny in his eyes, with fair white skin that prevented him from going shirtless too long in the sun, even if he dared to do that, always conscious of his skinny build. He had brown eyes and jet-black hair that was thick, wavy, always in need of combing. And he was smart, his GPA far higher than his friends, and he played the piano, guitar and cello. Unbeknownst to his friends, he had recently taken up the banjo, for he liked the way it sounded, the speed at which it could be played. It was a challenge, and he loved challenges of this nature, for they made up for the challenges he was not good at.

“Come on, Jake, how…Bobby…Bobby, what do you think?” Dylan asked.

“I…don’t know” Bobby stammered, unwilling to say what he really did know. That Dylan was right, that human sexuality was fluid, that same sex encounters probably were more frequent than most realized.

“Bobby? I know you. You’ve probably written a twenty-page paper on this at some point. Help me out. Jake is being a bigot.”

“I’m not a bigot” Jake protested. “I don’t have a problem with someone who’s gay. I’m just saying I don’t think there is this fluid scale where more than…what is it? Ten percent of the population might be gay. You’re saying there are a lot more…”

“No, I’m not. I’m saying there are a lot more who would be identified as bi-sexual.”

“Whatever man…” Jake replied, his usual comment when he feels like he’s losing the argument.

“Bobby, don’t you think most people are probably somewhere in the middle, not at the extremes?” Dylan asked, turning in the chair to face him.

“I don’t know…maybe?” Bobby replied. But he did know. He knew what he’d read when wondering about his own feelings, sometimes questioning himself. He knew about the rumor about Dylan. The one from when they attended a graduation party by someone from the county school south of town, a big affair at this barn, with a huge bonfire behind it in the pasture. The rumor involved Dylan and another boy, and he was tempted to ask him, for it would be the perfect opportunity. Hey, Dylan, did you and that second basemen from Madison County fuck around in the woods late that night? He really wanted to know. It enticed him, the very idea of Dylan and that other guy.

Bobby was attracted to girls, saw their beauty. Not like Jake or Dylan, going nuts for large tits that were mostly fake in his opinion. He preferred the girls with a natural beauty, especially those that wore their hair short and had a certain toughness to their appearance. Like they could kick your ass, if they wanted. But he found himself looking at boys too. There were times back in grade school, eighth grade to be exact, when he began to look at Jake, the first boy in their class to really start to look mature. He had questioned his desire, that it was him just wanting to look at Jake to compare their bodies. Then there was Brian who was the first boy he saw with an uncut cock, and Ian who was androgynous, something that caused him to be afraid to be seen with him. And so many other boys he had looked at with a longing he dared not give name to, for he knew what it would mean.

And now in college, in their third year, the guys had never questioned him on why he never dated seriously or just hooked up for a one-night stand. He was sure they assumed it was because he was shy. But it was much more than that. He knew his attraction really only involved guys, not the girls.

“Maybe?” Jake repeated, laughing.

“Jake; don’t be a chicken shit. Tell us what you think” Dylan pushed Bobby.

“Okay!” Bobby exclaimed, sitting up, legs crossed as he looked from Jake, who was smiling, to Dylan, who had the most serious of expressions. “Tell us, have you ever considered messing around with another guy?” Bobby asked, looking at Dylan.

“What?”

“Well?” Jake asked.

“I…well…yeah I thought about it. Haven’t you?” Dylan replied, looking at Jake.

“Have you ever acted on it?” Bobby asked, bringing the attention back to Dylan.

“Have you?”

“Don’t get mad; you were the one arguing it was no big deal, remember?” Jake cut in again.

“But…”

“Did you and that second basemen…” Bobby tried to ask.

“Where did you hear that?” Dylan interrupted

Bobby held his head down as he began to speak. “You see the reaction you yourself just had? You wonder why some guys won’t admit to being bi-sexual or gay or anything that isn’t straight.” Looking up, first to Jake, then over to Dylan. “You think its an insult, some kind of strike against your manhood. Do you really think a guy who has sex with another is somehow less a man?”

Dylan frowned, shook his head, then leaned back in the chair. “No, it doesn’t make a guy any less a man. And yes, I messed around the second basemen.”

“No shit” Jake uttered, eyes wide at the admission.

“No shit” Dylan repeated, then he looked at Bobby. “You seem upset by this conversation, and if…”

“If what?” Bobby asked after waiting a few seconds for Dylan to continue.

“If you have ever messed around with a guy, or if not, but you want to, then you shouldn’t feel like we’d judge you for it.”

Bobby stared back at Dylan, then he looked over at Jake, who was still laying on the sofa looking as relaxed as always.

“Hey, don’t look at me. I’m just the dumb jock who doesn’t understand anything, remember?” Jake replied to Bobby’s stare. It made Bobby smile, then laugh despite himself, and it caused Dylan then Jake to laugh too.

“But seriously,” Jake sat up and faced Bobby, “you’re my friend and I really don’t care about all this labeling. I mean, why can’t we just do what feels good and not worry about what some asshole thinks?”

“Easier said than done for most” Dylan replied. Looking over at Bobby, “You never answered me, and I’m concerned we’re leaving things a bit of a mess. Are you okay, and is there anything you want to say?”

Bobby ran his hands through his hair, then looked over at Dylan, shaking his head. He looked back at Jake while rubbing his right eyebrow, a habit for when he was nervous. “I…I think I prefer guys, but I’m not sure.”

“Not sure?” Jake asked.

“What are you saying? You’ve not been with a guy, have you?” said Dylan.

“No” Bobby replied, his voice so low they could barely hear it.

“Why not?” Jake asked.

“I don’t know. Well, I guess I do know. I’m afraid I’ll like it, that it’ll be my preference and it’ll…” he looked up at Dylan, then over at Jake, and with trembling voice added, “it’ll cause you guys not to want to hang out with me. It’ll end our friendship.”

“No” almost in unison, exclaimed Jake and Dylan, the Jake sat up, looking over the coffee table, “look, I’ve thought about it too, okay. I’ve seen guys out together and last year when I went out with Karen, she made me watch that movie where the guy is trading text messages and at the end they finally hook up. It does make you wonder what it would be like, you know. You can’t help but wonder.”

“What did you do with the second baseman?” Bobby asked Dylan.

“Well…I can’t believe I’m telling you guys this…we went down into the woods and he made me hard, you know, groping me and stuff, and…he sucked me until I thought he was going to get me off, but all of sudden he is in front of me, bent over telling me to fuck him.”

“Oh man, you fucked that guy? That is awesome” Jake exclaimed, grinning.

“Really? Would you have done it?” Dylan asked Jake.

“Hell, when your hard, any hole will do, right?”

“Damn, Jake, be serious” said Bobby.

“I am serious.”

“Really? Would you have sex with a guy if he hit on you. Gave you the opportunity?”

“I…”

“Forget it, Jake. You guys want another beer?” Bobby interrupted, getting to his feet.

“Yeah, I’ll have one more” Dylan replied.

“Me, too” Jake added.

Bobby went by his laptop and changed the music to an electronic mix, something with deep base beats and a faster tempo, and he turned it up trying to push out the thoughts and change the mood of the room. In the kitchen, he grabbed three beers and headed back to the living room.

“You think we can beat State next weekend?” Jake asked, breaking the silence that had permeated the room for far too long.

“I think so” Dylan uttered in reply.

Bobby, now sitting on the opposite end of the sofa, raised his right foot and gently slid the empty beer bottles on the end of the coffee table over, so he could prop his feet on it. Jake was leaned back on the opposite end, angled toward him with legs spread. It was like an invitation and he fought with himself to look Jake in the eye, instead of down the bare chest and over the bulging crotch whenever they were talking to each other.

“I think we have a good chance” Bobby added, keeping his eyes on the beer in his hands instead of looking at Jake this time.

“Hey guys, did you know Disaster is playing at the Milestone tomorrow night?” said Dylan looking from Bobby to Jake.

“I told you about it, remember?” Bobby replied.

“Oh yeah. So, you guys want to go?”

“I’ve got a date with that girl from Physics” said Jake.

“I’ll go, if you want,” Bobby replied.

“It’ll be something different and I did enjoy their show last year,” Dylan replied as he stood up, “damn, I’ve got to piss.” Dylan staggered for the first few steps then gained his balance, chuckling at being inebriated.  

“Bobby, I’m sorry if you thought I would mistreat you” Jake whispered while Dylan was out of the room.

“Jake, it’s okay. Let’s drop it.”

“But…” Jake stammered, sitting up and sliding closer to Bobby. He put a hand on his arm and could not understand how much it affected Bobby. The heat of it, the simple contact between them. “I’d do it…just so you know.”

“Do what?”

“Have sex with a guy. I mean, why not. It’s just sex, right?”

“You’re just saying that” Bobby replied.

“Saying what?” Dylan asked as he walked into the room.

Jake moved his hand from Bobby’s arm and sat up and Bobby saw how he was nervous, and it angered him. “Jake was just telling me he’d have sex with a guy.”

“Hell, I think most guys would in the right circumstances” Dylan replied.

“Really?”

“Really. You want me to prove it?”

There it was. The suggestion that made Bobby feel short of breath and a knot form in his stomach. ‘Would he really?’, he wondered as he watched Dylan move to the chair but not sit down, instead looked over at him.

“Bobby, you have to start living the life you want. You know that, right?” Dylan added in a low calming voice.

“I…”

Dylan looked at Jake, “Right?”

“Yeah” Jake replied, and Bobby didn’t see how some agreement passed between them. The soft smiles, the slight nod of the head by Jake, who moved back next to Bobby.

“We can show you” Jake whispered as he put a hand on Bobby’s thigh.

Bobby had let Jake led him to his bedroom with Dylan behind them. He had stood by the bed and let Jake and Dylan strip him, tossing each garment carelessly on the floor. He had felt their hands on his body, rubbing his back, chest, stomach, until a hand was on his cock, manipulating it until he was erect. Then he woke from his stupor and reached out to Dylan first and pulled his t-shirt off. He fumbled with the button on his jeans and with his help got them off. He watched as Dylan pushed his boxers down, stepping out them and kicking them off to the side. Turning, he ran a hand down Jake’s muscular chest. He was shaking as he felt the firm smooth skin, the curvature of each bicep and the undulating surface of his stomach, each ab painfully visible. He pulled the button loose on the worn faded jeans and kept pulling, knowing the button-fly would pull apart easily and watched as Jake pushed them down and took them off. Jake wore boxer-briefs, the white fabric concealing nothing, and he ran his fingers along the outline of cock within them. Jake sucked in his breath then uttered “fuck” under his breath as Bobby squeezed the head and fingered the shaft.

“Fuck it” Jake exclaimed, and he pushed the boxer-briefs down his legs and kicked them off roughly, sending them flying across the room.

Bobby hesitated, wondering how it was going to work with the three of them. He imagined he would be the one in the middle, the one submissive. He imagined him sucking one of the guys, while the other fucked him. He imagined being on his hands and knees, pinned between his two friends. But Dylan surprised him, by taking his hand and guiding him down on the bed into a sixty-nine position. He faced the thickening cock framed by the dark red bush. He took it by the base and licked the head making Dylan jerk in response. Then he became aware of his own cock, the wet heat that enveloped it and he closed his eyes, opened his mouth and took Dylan’s cock.

Bobby and Dylan sucked each other, heads moving back and forth along hardening cocks until both were rock hard. Jake lay behind Bobby, so close they touched, while watching Dylan suck his cock.

“Damn, take it” Jake egged Dylan on, amazed how he took Bobby’s cock, for it was so much thicker than he expected for someone of Bobby’s frame. He leaned close, right up next to Dylan, watching intently as Bobby’s cock came into view, wet, glistening with spit, then disappear again.

Dylan began to moan around Bobby’s cock, his body shivering at times and Jake looked down between the two naked bodies and watched Bobby sucking Dylan. His head moving faster, an urgency to his movement that seemed like he wanted Dylan to cum and cum quickly.

“Bobby…slow down,” Jake whispered, “make him hold out.”

“Bastard” Dylan jokingly exclaimed, and Jake saw him looking up, Bobby’s hard cock in hand, wet with spit. “You want to try” Dylan added, angling Bobby’s cock toward him.

Jake knew it was now or never. The past taunts about sucking cock, the queer aspect of it, came to him, but he pushed past it, caught up in the moment. The sexually driven nature of it, and how it was only for the pleasure of it. He leaned forward and slipped his lips over the head of Bobby’s cock and pushed forward as far as he could.

Bobby shuddered by the different sensations on his cock, the way a tongue toyed with the head and how he was taken deeper than before. He looked down and saw it was Jake and he fought the urge to push with his hips. It aroused him so, to see Jake taking him after Dylan had done so. It was more than he expected. More than he could have hoped. The two of them willing. He looked down and saw Jake holding his cock and Dylan leaned in, the two of them tongued the head together and he shivered with the feel of it.

He grew brave, more confident as he slipped a hand around Dylan’s waist and trailed his fingers along the place where the cheeks came together. He felt them shiver with his touch as he pushed forward taking every inch of Dylan’s cock. He slipped his fingers between the firm round cheeks and touched Dylan daringly. He fingered the opening, rubbed it in circular motions, then breached its tightness, penetrating him.

“Fuck… Bobby…” Dylan exclaimed, then Bobby felt his cock consumed in a hot slick mouth.

Bobby fingered Dylan, one, then two fingers, while he sucked him. He worked his mouth on Dylan’s cock wanting him to cum. He wanted to have his mouth filled by it. He wanted to see what it’d taste like, to feel someone else’s cum on his tongue, instead of his own he had tasted before. But Dylan released his cock and Jake was pulling him around. He pulled his fingers from Dylan’s hole and looked up at the guys shifting around on the bed.

Dylan moved around next to him and Jake to the head of the bed, sitting back against the wall.

“Fuck me” said Dylan in a pleading tone as he stared up at Bobby.

Bobby didn’t think of it, too wrapped up in just doing it. He moved between Dylan’s legs letting each rest on his shoulders. He scooted up till his wet cock was touching him, and as he rubbed it over the opening, leaving a wet slick trail, he watched in awe as Jake’s cock disappeared in Dylan’s mouth.

Dylan began to move his body, to push against Bobby’s cock and he pushed back, feeling it squeeze through the tight opening, making Dylan shudder. He felt the legs trembling against his chest as he squeezed inch after inch through it and he wondered if he could hold on. He was holding his breath, afraid to even breath for the way it felt. Never had he been so aroused, so rock hard. He felt like he could come any minute.

He heard the moans and grunts coming from the head of the bed and looked up to see Jake on his knees straddling Dylan’s head while pumping cock into his mouth. Bobby began to fuck, to move at the same pace, the two of them pushing inward at the same time. The bed rocked and squeaked beneath them as their pace increased. Dylan reached up and held Jake by the waist revealing the dark red hair in each armpit. Dylan was stretched out, his long lean torso undulating with their fuck. The way it was so exposed, bare, nothing hidden from his eyes, Bobby fucked him harder. He watched as Dylan’s cock flopped around his stomach till it left a wet trail over the skin. He watched the nipples harden, stick out showing Dylan’s arousal. He watched the way the torso revealed its musculature, the biceps and the abs tightening before his eyes.

Bobby wanted to feel Dylan against his own body, to move in closer, make their sex more intimate. He let the legs slip from his shoulders and around his waist as he leaned forward. Pumping cock into Dylan’s depths, Bobby moved against the prone body beneath him, he kissed the neck feeling it swallow as Jake pushed inward. He kissed a spot below the ear, then moved up along the jaw till he was at the mouth. He kissed the side of the mouth then tongued Jake’s cock as it slid into view.

“Goddamn,” Jake uttered, as he pulled out and let Dylan and Bobby tongue the leaking head together. He shivered from the manipulation, a sensation he had never felt before. It was too much, the way two were working his cock.

Then Bobby carried them to the next level, looking up at Jake and with a pleading tone, “fuck me…put it in me,” he uttered.

Jake moved as if in a daze, shifting to the foot of the bed then over Bobby. He watched Bobby reach back and spread his cheeks apart revealing his opening and Jake moved to it, rubbing his leaking cock over it till it was wet.

“Fuck…Jake…stop teasing me,” Bobby exclaimed looking over his shoulder, and Jake pushed through the tightness, sinking inch after inch into his depths.

“OOHHHhhhh,” Bobby cried out as Jake sank all the way inside him, pushed inward till abdomen pressed against ass. Dylan leaned up and kissed Bobby’s neck, up to the ear and tugged on it as Bobby shuddered and shook against him.

Then Bobby began to move, to push into Dylan all the way, then pull outward, taking Jake’s cock all the way inside of his own body. He moved slowly at first with full swings of his hips taking every inch of Jake’s cock and giving Dylan every inch of his own. He felt every touch. Those of Dylan below him and Jake between his legs, and he felt the penetrating push inside of him. He felt alive. He felt more masculine that ever before, the shear arousal of his desires pushed to the breaking point. He began to move faster, rougher, his ass smacking against Jake’s abdomen. He worked his body till it felt feverish, every point of contact hot, wet, sweaty from his exertions. He was so aroused he couldn’t hold back, and he pushed into Dylan all the way, jammed his abdomen against his ass and came, so hard he was shaking.

“Jesus” Jake uttered as he felt Bobby coming. He felt the gripping of his cock as Bobby’s hole spasm around it and he held the waist and fucked, drove into the depths of Bobby’s ass as he shuddered with release. “Fuck,” Jake exclaimed as he too came, hammering his cock in Bobby’s hole.  He fell on Bobby’s back breathing hard, as if he had just done a run. He felt the wetness between them, realizing how much he was sweating. He raised up on his hands and moved to one side of the bed. He watched Bobby slip from Dylan, surprised to see Bobby still erect. He watched in fascination as Bobby helped Dylan to roll over, guiding him to move on top. Bobby wrapped legs around Dylan’s waist and hugged their bodies together. Jake rubbed Dylan’s back, felt the hotness of the smooth skin as he listened to Bobby urged Dylan to fuck him.

Dylan pushed into Bobby, eased every inch of his cock into Bobby’s depths. Then he began to fuck, to work his cock within Bobby with an urgency that surprised Jake as he watched. Bobby threw his arms over his head and pushed against the wall as Dylan hammered cock inside him. The bed rocked and squeaked, then banged against the wall, and Bobby begged Dylan to fuck harder.

Jake put his hand on Dylan’s back and felt the wet skin giving off its heat. He slid it down over the curvature of the flexing ass cheeks, feeling their power as they flexed and moved, driving cock into Bobby’s hole. It aroused him, more than he could admit and he took his cock in the other hand and stroked it, realizing his pace aligned with Dylan’s.

“Fuck…Bobby…” Dylan exclaimed, raising his head up and shuddering with release.

When Dylan moved off Bobby, Jake saw Bobby was still hard, his cock leaking till there was a pool at the wet head. He reached for it without thinking, feeling its girth in his hand. He saw Bobby sit up and move to him, felt hands on his shoulders guiding him over on his back.

“Jake…let me?” Bobby pleaded and Jake spread his legs letting him slip down between them.

Bobby felt Jake’s hand on his cock, guiding it to its target. He pushed against the tight opening till the head of his cock breached it. Jake shivered beneath him as he eased another inch in, then another. Then another, until Jake had Bobby’s entire cock buried in his hole. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Dylan moving, and he watched him move to the head of the bed and soon Jake had another cock, this one in his mouth pushing in till it nearly gagged him.

The bed began to rock again, this time with Bobby’s movements, the thrusting of cock into Jake’s depths, over and over, until he was aware of nothing but his own body, the hardness of his cock and how it felt to piston it inside Jake. He lost focus of Dylan using Jake’s mouth, not even hearing the groans and moans, and occasionally the sound of cock slipping free and Jake heaving for breath.

Bobby got on his knees and pulled Jake’s legs to his chest. He savored the feel of those muscular legs rubbing against his hot skin, but he wanted more. He moved back over Jake, folding him in half till ass lifted off the bed and he could fuck harder, faster, abdomen smacking loudly off ass. He hammered his cock inside Jake, bouncing off his ass every time. He felt hands on his waist, and they didn’t try to stop him, but held him lightly, just feeling his movements as he fucked himself to exhaustion.

Dylan cried out and Jake choked then swallowed several times as Dylan’s cock flexed in his mouth. Bobby didn’t slow, but kept fucking, driving into Jake till he was too close to hold back. He shoved inward, jamming his abdomen against Jake’s upturned ass and came.

The lights were turned off and the music was still on, playing softly from the living room. In the bed, snuggled together lay the three guys. Bobby was in the middle holding Dylan to his chest with Jake spooned up to his back. He was still awake and listened to his friends breathing. The irregular nature of it while they slept, and it comforted him. He rubbed his nose over Dylan’s shoulder and felt the heat radiating from his body. Jake moved up against him tighter, a hand coming over Dylan and him, then a leg moved over their legs, as Jake shifted in his sleep. Bobby was cocooned between them and it felt safe, a refuge from everything. He didn’t know how his friends would act in the morning, but they had said everything was good, and there were no regrets while they had showered together. Jake had said tonight would just be for them and tomorrow they would go back to their normal routines. But Bobby had seen the look on Dylan’s face, and he wondered. Maybe…just maybe.