And Then I Met Him

Coming to an End

I could feel his naked body next to mine, holding me tight. My eyes were closed, trying to control myself. He smelled so good I didn’t want to move. Every breath in was like a drug to my soul, his scent filling me, making me remain frozen in his grip. My cheek was resting against his smooth hard pec. I could see the perfectly shaped circle of his pink nipple, my finger and thumb playing with it as we laid wrapped up in each other, limbs draped over each other. The feeling of him, the warmth of him, was all a reminder to me of something I had longed for. Something I had wished for once again. I found it. I didn’t want to move, knowing that I was trying to imprint this feeling into my mind. To make it last. Because I knew this was it. So, when I felt his body shift, I finally looked up into Brian’s sad eyes. 

Just four hours earlier I was the happiest I’d been in such a long time. Conflicted? Yes. But happy. 

I had continued to see Brian for the next month since our dinner and my sharing of my past. It was now November and I continued to plan “outings” after work, driving into the city to meet him. We actually finished a meal at a restaurant together without having to leave before the meal arrived, or I’d pick up food and bring it straight to his condo, or we’d skip dinner altogether. I felt like me again, and Brian was a blonde version of the man I still secretly missed the most. I was smiling again, laughing again, feeling those butterflies as soon as I saw him again, and had fallen in love with another man. I had just started to feel that I COULD find happiness with another man. Brian was it. 

And as I drove into the city that night to see Brian, I had made up my mind what I wanted to do.  

He met me in the lobby, and I should have known then that something was up, but I was too excited and nervous and turned on to notice then. He was dressed for the Fall weather, asking to go on a walk with me through the busy streets to Grange Park not far from the Financial District and his building. He looked like he stepped out of a J. Crew catalogue, with his beige chinos and thick soled hiking boots, heavy wool sweater and scarf around his neck. He looked fucking hot, and my stomach flipped as I spotted him waiting for me around the corner from where I parked.  

His smile looked like every other smile. I didn’t see the sadness in his eyes, or I didn’t want to see it. I was beyond happy to see him, actually running to him like a lover in a romance novel. He beamed as he hugged me and breathed into my neck, the coolness of the early night air already on his cheek. 

“Hey there sexy.” That deep soft voice radiated through my body as it slipped into my ears. “So good to see you!”  

I growled into his sweater, feeling the scratchiness of the wool against me. I resisted kissing him, but he took my hand in his large one and pulled me along. “I like this look!” I grinned up at him, moving in close so no one noticed we were holding hands.  

He walked slowly, looking straight ahead, and I simply focused on the feel of his hand in mine. And how nice it felt. How big it was over mine. How tight his grip was. But I sensed nothing other than happiness from me. 

I thought about how to start our conversation the entire drive up, and then again on our walk. I was ready to tell him I was going to leave Allie. I was ready to tell him I wanted just him. But our walk was so romantic, so calm, so public that I couldn’t quite figure out how to start. Brian kept asking me about my day, and how things were going at work, and if I’d ever been to this park. I had been to City Hall, but never walked through this park at dusk with a muscled man beside me. I got so caught up in the sights and sounds of the city, and being so close to Brian that I decided to wait.  

Apparently, Brian was having the same inner dialogue about how to tell me something too. 

Brian pulled me down onto a bench in the middle of the park, and I felt his big leg next to mine. I scooted closer to him, sliding my hand into his pocket with his own hand and we just sat like that for a few minutes. When I looked up at him, he was smiling at me, his eyes a little glassy from the cold night air. Or so I thought.

“I love you, you know that.” He suddenly said, looking down at me, ignoring everything around us. “Like I am SO in love with you. I want to be with you all the time.”  

I nodded, feeling his hand around mine in his pant pocket. “I know. Because I feel the same.” 

He inhaled a big deep breath and faced forward, looking around at people going by. I followed his gaze, looking out at the people strolling by. I noticed two guys walking close together, and they looked over at us sitting on the bench. They were about my age, tall and lean, and were clearly together in the biblical sense. We all looked at each other, and gave a sort of smile, acknowledging that we were different, at least back then. I watched them walk by, the one guy keeping his gaze on me and smiling. I noticed his eyes flick over to the big man next to me and he gave me an appreciative nod.  

Brian lifted his hand out of his pocket, releasing mine and put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into him, kissing the top of my head. “Let’s go home.” He said simply. 

Home. I heard it and my lips widened in a grin. 

He stood up to his full height, all 6’2” of muscled perfection hidden under all those clothes. I took in the shape of his butt in his chinos and felt the urge to grab it. I could see the curve of his pecs even under the thick wool sweater. He put both hands in his pocket for warmth as he watched me stand up next to him. 

“I think I need to get you out of these clothes.” I whispered to him, making him grin. He gave a little snort with his nose and stepped up to me. 

“I was thinking the same thing.” He said so quietly to me I almost didn’t hear him. 

There was something different that I couldn’t quite put my finger on as we entered his condo. His eyes were all over me, looking at me like prey, ready to pounce but afraid to begin. His hands were caressing me lightly, outlining every shape and curve of my body as he undressed me, as if he were memorizing each curve, kissing each spot on me as we made our way to the bedroom. There was a slow, methodical approach to him tonight. And I was enjoying every moment. 

I was naked first, only managing to get Brian’s big sweater off him and his socks before he had me on my back on his bed. He had put on flannel sheets, something I wasn’t used to. The feel of the soft, warm cotton under me, and Brian’s large hands roaming over me relaxed me in an instant. So when he lifted my legs and crouched down at the foot of his bed, the warmth of his tongue at my hole made me groan wildly. 

“Fuck I love you so much.” I groaned.  

I froze for a moment as the sensation of Brian’s tongue at my hole stopped, feeling nothing. I opened my eyes and looked between my legs to see Brian standing between me, gazing at me with a look of lust. When our eyes met, he blinked and smiled a bit, nodding slowly. Then he simply whispered again, “I love you so much too.” 

He let go of my legs and undid his pants, pushing his blue underwear down with his pants and stepped out of them, yanking off his shirt as well to stand naked before me. That big 9 inch thick white cock of his was sticking out straight, and my eyes went to it immediately. He stood there, unsure of what to do, still staring directly at me. 

I sat up and moved to the end of the bed, sliding my ass all the way down to face him. He stood still, gave a slight shiver as my hand gingerly grabbed his cock. I felt his body sigh, almost as if he was giving in to me, relaxing. My other hand went to his solid thigh and I slid off the bed and sunk down at his feet, my hand trailing down that sculpted leg. I opened my mouth and took his big dick into my throat. I heard him moan and looked up to see that his head was drooped down, those eyes still staring at me, full of lust in his eyes. 

I didn’t last long. Or at least, Brian didn’t last long. I sucked him deep, taking it all in, gagging on him, feeling the thickness of his penis fill my entire mouth. He pulled out not long after I started, and lifted me up under my arms and placed me back on the bed on my back as he crawled up in between my legs. 

“I need to make love to you. Now.” He groaned, kissing me hard and spreading my legs with his. He pulled off my lips to spit into his hand, those thick fingers rubbing my ass, then lubing his cock. He didn’t wait, just aimed it directly at my entrance and kept staring at me. 

“Oh my God Brian.” I moaned as he added a little bit of pressure at my hole. I let my hands glide up that rippling mountain of muscle along his back as he remained in position, resisting the urge to plunge right in. 

“Let me in.” He said softly, like it was a secret password. I moved my legs up his, my heels resting on that bubbled ass of his, my hands reaching his shoulders. And with the sound of his voice I did open up and took him all the way inside me. 

We both let out a loud groan as he sunk into me, hitting that spot in my prostrate right away. I dug my fingers into his skin, and leaned forward in shock as he started to rock back and forth inside me. I could feel his mouth on my forehead, his hot breath down my neck and the sounds of his grunts as he started to pump me deep. 

“Fuck I love you!” He said again, and again and again as our bodies became one. It seemed to happen fast, that spot, those sounds, the way he was moving. I grabbed his ass with my hands as my legs wrapped around his waist. 

“Fuck Brian!” I grunted. “I’m going to….” Was all I got out before I erupted in cum. He fucked every drop out of me, plowing into me hard, taking my breath away as I did a hands-free explosion between us. I could hear his moans grow, his hips punching into me harder as he expressed his emotions more and more. 

And then he slammed into me, arching his entire body, his eyes locked on my face as he unloaded into me. His body remained stock still, but his cock pulsed in me. When I flexed my ass, his eyes widened and I could feel HIM flexing his dick in return, filling me with his seed. It felt fast, but worth every thrust, as we caught our breaths, holding each other still. 

I held him above me, looking up at him as our eyes remained glued to each other. He lowered himself slowly, letting his lips find mine in a slow, sensual kiss. He moved back, and I felt him start to slide out and shift over, our bodies remaining connected as he rolled over beside me. He pulled me into him and we both let out a sigh at the same time as our limbs remained tangled. 

I racked my brain on how to start the conversation, to tell him I wanted to be with him. I was ready. But Brian spoke first. 

“I’m being transferred.” I remember hearing him saying bluntly as darkness filled his bedroom. His voice seemed to come out of nowhere, so soft and deep, that at first I thought I had fallen asleep. 

I sat up a bit, holding myself up on my elbow and turned towards him. Brian was on his back, but his face was turned toward me, looking at me. 

“It all started before I met you, and I was starting to think it wasn’t going to happen. But then yesterday my boss let me know that it had all been approved, and I’m heading there to lead up the finance division. Starting in about month.” He was talking fast, and I was trying to focus on what this meant, until he said where he was going. 

“It’s in California.” He added after a breath. 

I froze at those words, realizing this was it. He was moving away. He was ending this. 

“Oh.” I heard myself say. I didn’t know what to do or say, but I as I stared at him in shock, his face relaxed a bit and a little smile came over him. 

“And I want you to come with me.” He said firmly, those big blue eyes widely staring at me. 

I felt my body relax as I took it all in: the sudden transfer, the location, and that last bit, about him wanting me to go with him. I couldn’t help but move into him more and hug him. By the tightness of his grip back, he was also relieved. 

“I wasn’t sure what you’d say.” He breathed into the top of my head as he squished my face into his pecs. “I’ve been thinking about asking you all night.” 

I felt the heat from his body, the feel of his still thick cock against me, and I rolled a bit away from him to ask “California?”  

“Los Angeles, yeah.” he said, letting out a puff of air. 

I held my breath, wondering if he was joking. I turned to see him frowning at me, inquisitively. “California? For how long?” 

He squinted at me, as if curious what I was thinking. “Well…this looks like a permanent position for me, and they are hoping I’ll stay I guess.” 

I sat up, letting the sheets fall around my waist. Brian shifted and sat up beside me, hugging his knees to his chest as we sat side by side.  

“I know it’s far, but you said you didn’t care about your mom, and how happy you’d be to get away from everyone and everything and I thought this would be perfect for you. For us.” He paused, waiting for me to say something. “Unless you don’t want to leave Allie….” His voice was like a child’s, adding on the mumbling as if he was testing me.  

I turned to him and brought my own knees up to my chest to mimic his seated position under the covers. “It’s not that….”  

We both took a breath, and it was me that finally asked. “And how long do you want me with you?” 

His smile widened at first, then slowly relaxed as he looked at me carefully. “I was hoping for as long as I’m there.” 

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, looking back at his blue eyes. He leaned over to me sideways and let his shoulder touch mine.  

“What do you think?” He asked, his eyes opened wide, waiting for me to speak. 

I let out a long breath, feeling his skin next to mine igniting the flames in me again. Just feeling his skin on mine was enough. I turned away from him and faced forward, putting my chin back on my knees. “Can I even GO with you?”  

Brian frowned and rested his chin on his one knee, covered by the warm flannel sheet. “Well, you can if you want to….” 

I shook my head, interrupting his train of thought. “No I mean, I can’t just go to the States with you permanently. I’d have to apply for a VISA or something don’t I? In order to live there and find a job. You’re getting transferred so your company would take care of all the legalities, but I just can’t stay there without proper papers…or something like that right? Because you and I aren’t…well….you know….” 

“Married.” He said simply.  

I looked over at him with big round eyes. “Am I even allowed to go with you?” 

Brian breathed out slowly, avoiding my eyes. “I never even thought about that part. I was more worried that you didn’t want to, I never even thought about whether or not you could….I just wanted…” He turned his head to me with a little smile that melted me. “I just want you to come with me.”  

I put my hand on his big forearm and just sat there, thinking in my head if this was even possible. Married couples didn’t have this problem. Recognized common law couples could even get away with it. But it was the 90s. There were no civil unions, or anything. I wouldn’t be allowed to remain in the US without a proper VISA or job.  

Brian then lifted an arm and hugged me into him, sliding down with me in the bed. “We’ll figure this out.” 

I didn’t say anything, just laid there, in his arms, wide awake and silent, wishing for a solution when I knew there really wasn’t one. I had been down the legal road already when Joe died, from being able to stay in the hospital with him, to having to leave his house. I knew I wouldn’t have any right to go with Brian, no matter what we hoped for. 

We stayed like that in the darkness, quiet and silent, his naked body next to mine, holding me tight. I tried desperately to control myself against him, fighting back the urge to cry, scared that if I said anything at all, this would be it. I was focused on my senses, the way he smelled, the way he felt next to me, feeling his breath on my neck. 

“What are you thinking?” His soft voice finally cracked through the dark. I rolled over, facing away from him, moving backwards to feel his front side pressed against my back, bringing his arms around me to hold his hands against my chest.  

“I’m thinking I won’t be allowed to go.” I said so slowly it felt like I was asleep, and this was all a bad dream. 

Brian didn’t say anything for a while, just held me against him. “I was afraid of this. I guess I sort of hoped you could…but maybe deep down I knew it wasn’t going to work out. Even though I want you to.” He whispered. 

“I want to as well.” I whispered back. I heard him exhale slowly, feeling his leg move over mine. He lowered his head and kissed my neck, inhaling loudly. I could hear his breath shaking and felt his arms close around me tighter as I gripped his hands in mine. “I really do love you Brian.” I said as I turned to meet his roaming lips. 

Our mouths met in an intense kiss, me turning around more to allow his tongue in. Our bodies turned instinctively, already aroused just by touching. My hands moved along his solid body, feeling the heat from his skin. My fingers suddenly wanted to feel every inch of him, thinking this was it. Brian must have felt it too, by the way he was grabbing me, moving over me. The way his tongue probed deeper. The way his breath increased. And the feeling of how hard he was against my abs. 

My hand moved up his back, over his shoulder to his face, to find his cheek wet. My eyes opened, and I saw his were open too, tears rolling down the side of his face. I felt my own start, just looking at this handsome man in my arms. His hands moved quickly to my ass, his leg moving in between me, spreading me open. I felt him digging, trying to find his way back in as we kept looking at each other. I held his face in my hand, slowly moving my thumb along the stream of water on his face as I felt him press into me. And as he entered me again, somewhat forcefully, our mouths met again with a renewed passion. 

The tears spilling from my cheek weren’t from the deep invasion between my thighs, but seeing the look on Brian’s face as he started to make love to me again. Would this be the last time? I thought to myself as I watched him. I let my thumb move along his cheekbone, over his lips that were slightly parted as he moved in me. I gasped at how far he was inside, feeling my insides coming alive. 

“I love you Brian.” I muttered between thrusts. 

“If only we met sooner….I wouldn’t have agreed to the transfer.” He said, his lips quivering under my thumb. 

I nodded, leaning into him to kiss him, rolling over onto him. He let me, looking up at me as I positioned myself on his waist and let my hands move to his giant pecs. But we didn’t last long in that position. Brian closed his eyes and breathed in deeply and rolled me off him onto my back, pushing my legs up and onto his shoulders, and then fed his dick back inside me with a hunger I hadn’t seen before. 

“I need to make love you like this. I want to remember the look on your face when I make you cum.” His voice was still soft but filled with something else I couldn’t quite explain. He leaned into me, our eyes locked on each other. My hands went to his hips as he started to move just his waist with a slow steady deep pump. He was going to make this one last. 

I watched him silently, feeling him hitting that spot in me with each deep plunge. I studied his face, watched every expression, memorized the features of him as my hands moved along his smooth back and down to the roundness of ass. His cock felt thicker, more engorged than ever before, and it was doing its trick on me. Brian’s eyes watched me in return, moving carefully to match my expressions, as if he could feel just when he needed to pump a little harder, or move slightly to the left, or lean over to kiss me. 

I dug my hands into the meaty flesh of his ass as I started to shake. He knew he had me. I saw his eyes look down at my fully erect and leaking cock as he held his position.  

“Cum for me baby.” He whispered, picking up the speed with his thrusts. My moans filled the room as I started to buck under him, grabbing his ass harder as if to help him pound me. I erupted in a daze, closing my eyes, trying to capture this moment for future memories as I heard him growl and really plow me as if to catch up. 

Brian grunted louder than ever, waking the neighbours I’m sure as he unloaded another round of his seed into me as mine ran down the sides of my body. But this time, as he collapsed on me, still shuddering himself, he buried his head into the side of my neck and kept pumping into me. I clutched his back, feeling the tears streaming down my face as I felt his body continue to shake. He was no longer having an orgasm. He was full on crying. 

I held him against me and listened to him trying to control himself as I did the same. This big giant muscled man, in my arms on top of me, was letting it all out. As was I, as I buried my face into his shoulder.