Both Sides of The Field

The curfew is 9 pm and nobody is allowed out of the villas so I wander down before Henry and lay down on the bed just listening to music as I charge my phone up at the same time as Henry comes walking in as I look across at him.

“Fucking loser nerd?” I say as he walks into the room and sits on the bed next to me as I am surprised at how close he is to me. “Well I mean I can’t really let on that I like you know, can I?” he says as I just roll my eyes and wish that we had a situation where he could have the guts to be nice to me in public instead of just behind closed doors.

Henry puts his head on my shoulder as this whole situation makes me weird because on one hand he treats me so well when we are together and he entrusts me with the situation that he finds himself in but outside of this he is a complete and utter fuckwit that is so unlikeable it makes me feel bad about myself.

It was probably a few months ago and we were all in class waiting for a teacher that never turned up and Henry was boasting about all the girls that he had been with and all these stories about what he got up to in the holidays. Sitting there listening, I got fed up with all his story and just turned around and called him out for it.

“It’s all bullshit, none of that ever happened” I remember saying which got his back up big time as he shook his head in his confrontational but non-threatening style. It was a couple of hours later and I was coming back from a hit in the cricket nets when he came up to me and I thought he was going to start laying into me but very quickly his tone changed as he kept trying to make sure nobody was around.

Henry very quickly lost the aura of cockiness and confidence but instead was overcome with nervousness as he couldn’t get any words or coherent sentences out until we found a spot behind the cricket nets which nobody would go to during winter. “How did you know I was bullshitting?” were the first words that Henry got out and I think for himself that it was the first time that he had ever even considered talking about his sexuality.

When I first thought that he was bullshitting about everything that he had done and the girls he was going out with, I was never thinking that he was actually gay but really just talking shit that was trying to impress all the guys. Sitting there listening to Henry talk that afternoon, I couldn’t believe how vulnerable and tormented this usually confident cocky guy that has everyone wrapped around his finger was.

Despite having so much confidence on the outside, there is a deeply confused and scared boy inside that big muscled frame that just wants some true affection and love rather than being liked because of his family and standing in the world.

The fact that Henry is gay and the threat of him being outed would spell disaster for him and the rest of his life both generally in life and then school-wise.

On the school front, St Matthew’s College is one of the most homophobic spots in the country, the previous head of the school was forced to resign over a scandal that saw major public backlash for his decision to include a section on homosexuality and transgender views in the school's code of conduct and it was understood that it was an “offence against god and natural community values”.

This quickly angered many students and parents who despite being quite a conservative base were offended and angered by it and made the position of the previous head’s job spot untenable and his resignation came pretty quickly when the threat of mass unenrolments became a massive threat to both the finances and reputation of the school, especially with it being a hub for visiting students.

The resignation found popularity across the community generally although it became a major issue for SCN which is one of the only local major 24 news channels that are broadcast across the country both on Pay TV and the more powerful Free To Air.

SCN likes to balance itself as a centrist news channel with a wide range of balanced views but in reality, it is the home to the most conservative viewpoints and its “Featured programs” are right-wing nutjob central. The main argument from SCN on the whole school situation was that by removing the Code of Conduct section and the “Public persecution” of the headmaster and how that it infringed on his human right of freedom of speech and expression.

The main culprit of this bullshit was their main presenter Bryan Walker, the son of the SCN conglomerate boss Donald Walker, the father and grandfather of Henry Walker.

Bryan Walker is an absolute cretin to society with the vile rubbish that he likes to spew out every time he opens his mouth but sadly he gets away with it because SCN, their radio stations and the Newsforce Group have the media authority in their pocket. It’s just a sad state of this country at the moment when a company can control the independent media authority not through bribery but just through their sheer strength and power.

Bryan Walker holds the record for the most suspensions in the country’s history as a radio broadcaster having faced the NMBA (National Media and Broadcasting Authority) 16 times with 8 suspensions ranging from the usual 2 weeks all the way to the maximum 12-month ban which he is currently under. Sadly though, it doesn’t stop him from being allowed to broadcast his show every night on TV because of the way the separation of media powers goes.

The whole situation puts Henry into such a tough predicament because if it ever got out that he was gay, his whole world would come crashing down because not only would the school potentially expel Henry and remove him from his position as School Vice-captain and then the captain of the Rugby team which I think would be the worst thing for him. The family factor could be even worse because his father's anti-LGBTQ views would see him shunned and without the support of anyone it would see Henry completely cut off with no money and nowhere to live.

Thinking about it, I think that getting out from under his family’s domineering control isn’t going to be the worst thing ever but then at the same time if he was to “come out” which nobody should have to do anyway, he would have nobody to support him.

“I’m glad you wore the clothes I left you” Henry says to me as I nod and smile that he does that for me because even though the rest of my family lives in Qatar, I know that most of their money has gone to both spending money on my school fees and then the cost of renting my private room at the school.

“Even if you didn’t give them to me and just wanted to hog all the space I would have still worn it just to piss you off” I laugh as I say that and Henry just punches me hard in the arm as I rub it and it hurts big time.

“I appreciate every bit of support you give me Jakey and you are just so amazing to me” I just smile as what he says makes me feel good that I’m helping him but at the same time I just wish it wasn’t such a one-way street. I know that for everything I give to Henry behind closed doors and I know that he appreciates it, honestly it just seems to disappear once we are out in public and the love and affection he shows me turns into toxic hate.

We sit there together as I sit there thinking about whether there is ever going to be a long-term relationship for Henry and me going forward. I realise that it probably won’t ever happen but right now it is what it is and I’m just going with the flow of things at the moment because I don’t feel like I can abandon him.

Henry sits there cuddled into me rubbing my shoulders and playing with my hair as I still listen to my music. I look across at him surprised that he is doing this right now because we aren’t that far removed from the rest of the teachers or other guys at the retreat with us “You ok with this here?” I ask him as he just nods at me.

“Yeah, nobody is going to see us, the windows are closed, the front blinds are closed and the door is locked,” he says as I get the sense that he used his power to be put out here alone together this week so that he could have these moments.

After a few minutes of him cuddling me, there’s a knock on the door as Henry rushes to the front door as one of the teachers has come down to check on us to make sure we’re going to be ok and not breaking the curfew.

“Yeah, I made it clear to him that there’s no shit between us and he’s totally got it,” Henry says to Mr Anthony as I roll my eyes at all the toxicity that he shows when he has to talk about me to other people even though I know it’s an act.

I hear the door close and lock as Henry comes back into the room and takes his clothes off just standing there in his black briefs that show off his amazing smooth muscled thighs.

“Did you really need to do that?” Henry just looks at me as he stretches his leg out grabbing at his thigh and hamstring which he strained a few weeks ago and has been niggling at him.

“I’m going to have a shower, can’t do that with all my clothes on now can I? Anyways you’ve seen me naked” I nod as he says that having seen him naked up close so many times when he has secretly come to stay with me in my room or we found a private spot.

“I didn’t mean that, I meant with Mr Anthony out there, you were so dismissive of me which ok I can cope with out there but to him?” Henry nods as I wonder if his ego still controls him and whether he has any sort of empathy for my situation and how it must feel for me when he constantly attacks me.

Henry looks at me and just nods “You don’t want anyone finding out and of all the teachers for him to be the one right?” I just nod because he does have a fair point at this stage and I quickly realise that I’m staring at Henry’s bulge and his body as much as I hate being dragged into losing the ground by just staring at his body.

I lay on the bed hearing Henry in the shower which turns me on so much that I can feel my cock getting harder as I know that he is just metres away naked and wet, even though I’ve seen it before it always still turns me on so much.

The first time Henry and I hooked up was such a weird night because we hadn’t spoken in a few weeks since that first chat and I could tell that he was avoiding me almost embarrassed that I knew his deep secret and even though I’m never in the position to out someone, I knew he was scared I would and he would sit away from me or not even hurl any of his comments at me.

I was hanging around the campus one Saturday night having gone down to the cricket nets just to do some bowling practice because I had nothing else to do and most kids went back home on the weekends and the overseas students would go out. I was heading back to my room when I saw Henry sitting on a bench near the main oval alone just sitting in the dark like he had nowhere to go.

“Hey mate, are you alright tonight?” I said not really knowing the response that I’d get especially with the poignant mood that he was in at the time. “I guess” were the only words that Henry could get out and I thought it was still weird that he was still here so long after the game had finished given he didn’t live in the dorms.

Sitting next to Henry, we sat there in silence for a few minutes before I broke the silence even though I didn’t know whether it was the right idea or not. “I came down to watch the game tonight, it was some comeback bro, I thought you’d be celebrating with the others,” I say not sure how he is going to respond to the comments but I wanted to talk to him.

“Shouldn’t have got into that position, we were poor with too many dumb errors, panicking the second we went behind or when Plan A wasn’t working against a team we should have been bearing” he says as I nod and got my first true realisation that Rugby was something that Henry focussed on almost 24/7 even though I knew he was the captain.

“If you won a game chasing a small total against a team you should beat easily on a road but did it 8 or 9 wickets down, would you be happy and celebrating?” he says as I’m

surprised that he knows about my spot on the cricket team.

I shake my head as I agree with his point “I’d be happy we won, but I guess I wouldn’t be happy about the way we didn’t at all” I say as Henry nods and I get why he is not in a celebratory mood at all tonight even with the win.

Turning towards Henry, I look across at him “I get why you don’t want to celebrate but why are you just sitting here? Wouldn’t you wanna go out and chill with your mates or go home” Henry looks at me and then just at the ground for a moment.

“They are all at a party with their girlfriends and they just want me to hook up with this friend of Katya’s… she’s Toby’s girl and I don’t want to which you get,” I say understanding that because of the pressure that he would be under from his friends to hook up with a chick when he certainly isn’t into it and being the only person to know.

Sitting there in silence again for a few moments, Henry finally breaks it “Why bother going home? It’s just cold and empty, Dad’s off into America probably finding my next stepmother and my current stepmother is hosting a charity event in the Whitsunday’s probably getting railed by her conveniently underqualified personal assistant but then don’t start me on the rest” he says as I just nod.

Henry sits there and looks at me “So what are you still doing here? Don’t you go home for the weekend like the rest of them” he asks in an accusatory tone but I don’t take offence because that’s just his nature as I shake my head.

“Bit hard to go when the rest of your family lives in Doha, too expensive and time-consuming for a weekend” Henry looks at me with total surprise as I say that not knowing why, “I just always thought you were from the bush or something,” he says as I shake my head,

“Nah, my Dad has a job in Doha and after COVID, my mum and brother moved there but my parents didn’t want me to interrupt my schooling and education so I had to stay here and at least they paid for my own dorm” Henry nods as I see a rare sign of empathy from him right now.

We sit there again in silence as I contemplate whether to ask him up to my dorm room before deciding to bite the bullet and ask if him if he wants to hang out in my room. “Do you want to chill some more in my room? Instead of sitting here in the cold alone?”

I sit there expecting him to just say no or some form of negative comment at me which he likes to through out there at me or anyone he’s not friends with. “Yeah ok, nothing else to do” There isn’t any real excitement or eagerness in his voice but I think he just wants to get out of the cold for a while.

“So you must get pretty lonely then being here alone all the time without any close family?” I see a different side to Henry right now as he asks and I can see the empathetic side and one of genuine care about me right now.

I take him into my room which is about the size of a studio apartment “Yeah but I keep busy, I go to the gym a lot and through the career’s office I got a job as a waiter and kitchenhand at a pizza place not too far from here” I say as he nods taking a genuine interest in me and my life at the moment.

We get into my room and I take my shirt off as Henry gasps loudly “Holy shit, those fucking abs are amazing”. I just smile as he looks at them and then takes in my whole body. “Your whole body, it’s amazing, you are so damn ripped,” he says as I smile to myself.

After Henry says that I feel a lot more confident around him and about myself as I sit down next to him on the couch and he has a big smile on his face. “I never knew how hot you were, you always wore such loose clothes that didn’t really show any of this”.

I sit there blushing when he says that “You’re just saying that to be nice, you’ve seen so many better than me”. As I say that Henry’s hands start to run over my abs as I tense up and my body shudders at the first time someone has touched my body like that and then for it to be Henry.