Banging the Bartender

Josh was living proof that good things come in small packages. He was 5’7’’ and maybe 140 pounds soaking wet, but ridiculously toned from competitive cycling and mountain biking. He had dark blond hair that he kept trimmed close since it tended to get very curly if he let it grow out at all. His eyes were emerald green and sparkled with good humor. He had the cutest little ears and a slightly upturned little nose above light pink lips which parted to reveal blindingly white teeth. His abdomen was flat and his arms sinewy with taut muscle – not overly yoked or anything, but obviously strong.

His greatest glory, however, was behind him. As in his spectacularly muscled bubble ass. He was a bartender at an upscale chain restaurant and the tight black uniform pants only served to accent his perfect-10 glutes. I was sitting at the bar having some calamari and a Mai Tai and it practically took my breath away every time he turned around and reached up to grab one of the liquor bottles off a shelf. The black fabric of the pants would meld to his buns and the sight was, as Shakespeare put it, “such stuff as dreams are made on.” Yes, Josh’s ass was worthy of being described by the Bard.

On top of that, he was also an excellent bartender and all-around nice guy. He was probably a little over thirty now – just a few years younger than me – and had been working the bar here for nearly a decade. He’d originally been studying business, but he had been made bar manager, only had to work four days a week, and was killing it in tips, so he’d hung around. He could carry on multiple conversations at once while perfectly mixing drinks with lightning speed. He remembered all the regular patrons’ names and their drink preferences. And there were lots of regular patrons – people, both men and women, came to see Josh. He had fans. He could talk sports, movies, current events, anything you wanted and make you feel like the most interesting person in the room. 

I’d been coming for several years, stopping by after work or on the way to a movie for a snack and a couple of drinks and a little time in Josh’s glow. He’d see me take a seat at the bar and call out, “Drew!” and give me a bro fist-bump while he set to work mixing a Mai Tai, my favorite. 

Tonight, the bar was almost full and the orders were pouring in, but he still found a moment to stop by and chat about the new movie releases and what we each planned to see. He stood there smiling and talking, his arms crossed over his pecs like he had all the time in the world for me. I wondered what he would think if he knew I had fantasies about stripping him naked, bending him over, parting those beautiful ass cheeks, and devouring his tender pink button with my tongue and cock. He would occasionally mention going on a date with some girl or other, but he didn’t seem to have any long-term relationships. He had tons of male friends who came to the bar, but I never got any kind of gay vibe from any of them, so I wasn’t really sure what his deal was. Eh, it was probably just wishful thinking on my part that he could be into guys at all.

As he was telling me about the comedy he’d seen the night before, I let my eyes casually wander down to his crotch. He definitely filled out the slacks in the back, but not so much in the front. I’d never seen any real bulge on him, so I suspected he wasn’t packing a lot of heat in the dick department. But the rest of him was so awesome, I didn’t even really care. 

An older guy a couple of seats down from me signaled for a refill and Josh went to take care of him. He turned around to pull a tequila bottle off the shelf and I noticed the older guy’s eyes were locked on Josh’s posterior. Josh had to reach up and stand on tiptoe and I would swear he held that pose for longer than necessary and that his cheeks flexed just a little. Then he bent over to get something out of a mini-fridge. His rump was pointed right at his customer, who was still checking it out intently. Josh finished assembling the refill and slid it over on a napkin.

“Thanks, Josh,” said the patron with a bit of a knowing smile. “Much appreciated.”

“No problem at all.” 

So was Josh open to providing a little bit of a show along with the drinks for his customers? What else might he be open to? My mind was generating some thoughts, and they weren’t all pure. Then I had an idea. I was going to be hosting an engagement party for some old friends in a couple of weeks in the event space in my townhouse complex. I had a coworker who did food catering on the side, so she was going to be doing the cooking. Suddenly I was wondering if it might be nice to hire a bartender as well…

“Hey, Josh!” I called.

“Yeah, man?” he said, coming to stand in front of me. 

“Was wondering if you might be interested in a little side hustle in a couple of weeks.”

He grinned. “What kind of hustling you have in mind?”

I laughed. If only he truly knew. “No, I’m hosting an engagement party. Maybe fifty or sixty people. The catering’s covered, but it would be sweet to have a bartender with your talents. I didn’t know if you ever did private gigs like that.”

“Sure, I’ve done some. They’re fun. What night is it?”

I told him and he checked the calendar on his phone. “Sweet, I’m off that night.”

“Awesome. Hey, you wanna come check out the space some night this week when you’re free? You can tell me what you need me to have on hand and we can talk fee.”

“Sounds good. Hey, I got my hands on some of that new Stone IPA we were talking about. I could bring a few over and we could hang out.”

So we shook on it and figured out that the next night worked for both of us. I gave him directions and paid up, of course taking in that view one more time when he turned around to run my debit card.

I was horned up from seeing Josh and not having gotten my rocks off in a few days, so when I got home I stripped down and checked myself out in the bathroom mirror. The ol’ torso was still holding up OK even though soon I would be pushing 40. No washboard abs, but still a flat belly, a little definition in the pecs, and no love handles. My dick was starting to rise, stretching out to its six-inch length. I had trimmed up my auburn bush a few days ago and it was looking good.

I needed some special treatment that night, so I opened the bottom drawer of the nightstand and pulled out my trusty fleshlight and settled back against some pillows on the bed. I lubed up the fleshlight and my rock-hard prick, then opened Pornhub on the iPad and started flipping through some Next Door videos. I found one that got my juices really flowing, then penetrated the masturbator with my cock. I worked it up and down a few strokes, getting the lube nice and distributed. Then I settled in for a good wank. Despite the hot guys in the video, thoughts of Josh kept pushing their way into my head. I imagined the curve of his ass in his tight pants, then wondered what kind of underwear he wore and what he would look like showering. I imagined him getting all sweaty playing touch football shirtless, then stripping down to a jock strap. Half an hour later, when I finally unleashed my load into the fleshlight, I had tossed the iPad aside and had my eyes closed, imagining a naked Josh bent over in my bedroom, his pink pucker winking at me, beckoning me to explore it. 

*****

Josh showed up right on time the next night, carrying a six-pack of beer. We popped open a couple of bottles and sat at the kitchen counter, shooting the shit. I confess I’d had a couple of beers before he arrived, so I was feeling pretty loose. He handed me a sheet of paper with a typed list. 

“This is the stuff I’d need to do a full bar for a party. Plus any beer or wine you wanted on hand, plus ice. We’d just use plastic cups, I guess?”

“Oh, yeah. The couple’s parents are paying for most of it and I don’t think they want to spring for real glassware,” I told him.

“These kinds of parties make a nice change,” he said. “The restaurant’s fine, but fuck it’s exhausting sometimes.” He swung his legs back and forth from his seat on the barstool. He was wearing a polo shirt and khaki shorts that showed off tanned legs with light blond hair and calves with tight muscle.

“I can imagine. Having to keep all those orders straight and talk to all those people. Everybody wants a piece of Josh!” I laughed.

He shrugged. “Part of the job.”

“I guess you get hit on a lot too. A lot of people have bartender fantasies.” I was pushing him a little now, trying to see what he might admit.

“It happens. It’s kinda flattering! But it doesn’t usually come from the people I’d like it to.”

“I’ve seen people checking you out,” I said. “Chicks… and guys too.”

He smiled and popped another beer. “Yup.”

“Last night, there was this older guy scoping you. I’d swear you did him a little favor, let him check out the backyard.”

“I’m equal opportunity. Hey, it gives him something for the spank bank later and it usually gets me a bigger tip. It’s win-win.”

I shrugged. “You gotta work what you can.”

“I can tell when somebody’s into me. It’s easy. So, you know, I give ‘em an extra smile, say something about their hat or their jersey, flex the glutes.” He swigged a big gulp from his bottle. “Maybe bring some beers to their place.” He gave me a steady gaze.

I… uh… huh.” Fuck, I was at a loss for words. 

“At least at the restaurant, I get to keep my clothes on while people check me out. When I was in college, I worked part-time as a stripper. Private parties and such.”

“Really?” That was new. And hot. “Bachelorette parties and stuff?”

“Yeah, lots of those. And some all-male birthday parties. Those paid the most.”

I was getting a hard-on and I wondered if he could tell. “Does that mean you’re…”

“Gay? Like I said, I’m equal opportunity. If it’s a hole, I might stick my dick in it. Look, I’ve noticed you checking me out. No need to be shy, it’s cool. I kind of go for redheads, so I thought you were hot too.”

“Well, I definitely thought you were hot. Like, lava-hot.”

He smiled and blushed a little at such a direct compliment. “Can I use the restroom? Beer’s going right through me.”

“Sure,” I said. “It’s off the bedroom, end of the hall.”

“Thanks.” He slid off his stool and crossed the room, pausing halfway to flex his glutes. He turned his head and looked at me over his shoulder. “Caught ya lookin’.” 

When he was out of view, I shook my head. This was quite a bit to take in and I wasn’t sure what was going to happen next. But one thing was for sure – my dick was ready for anything. It was so hard it ached. 

A couple of minutes later, I heard Josh coming back down the hall. “Hey, Drew?”

“Yeah?” I asked.

He came into the living area with his hands behind his back. He waggled his eyebrows and had a shit-eating grin. “You been having a little fun?” He brought his hands around to the front and held up my fleshlight. 

Fuck! I’d just set it on the nightstand after I’d finished last night and hadn’t put it away. 

“Oh shit. I, uh… Well, you know.” I’m sure I was bright red.

“Don’t be embarrassed. It’s hot as fuck. How does it feel? I’ve never used one.”

“It feels fucking amazing. Almost as good as the real thing, only you’re more in control.”

“Really?” He held the fleshlight in one hand and began to rub his crotch with the other. “Think maybe I could give it a try?”

“Fuck yeah, you can. But I’ll need to watch you, make sure you do it right.”

He laughed. “Maybe you can give me some pointers.”

I led him to the bedroom and got the lube out of the drawer. He was still rubbing the front of his shorts. I put a nice dollop of the lube across the business end of the fleshlight. “Now,” I said, “we gotta lube your cock too.”

He stood the fleshlight up on the nightstand and started to unzip. He dropped his shorts and was left in a pair of light blue bikini briefs, his dick straining against the fabric. 

“I’m not really the biggest guy,” he said, hooking his fingers in his waistband. 

“Size isn’t a big deal to me… so to speak.”

He laughed and yanked down his briefs, freeing his stiffie. He was right, it wasn’t huge – maybe four inches long and pretty slender. But what it lacked in size, it made up for in beauty and hardness. It was solid as steel and looked practically aerodynamic with its rigid shaft and perfectly-tapered, pink helmet head. It was Josh’s little pocket rocket. His piss slit had some meat and the whole amazing sight was capped off by a nice little thatch of curly, dark blond pubes and a tight, smooth nutsack about the size of half a tennis ball.  

I couldn’t resist, so I got on my knees right in front of him. I took the base in my right hand and admired his equipment up close. “It’s amazing,” I said, then plunged the entire thing in my mouth. I worked him over from tip to base, tasting his clean skin and smelling the fragrance of his body wash, like a mix of citrus and herbs. I let my tongue bathe the underside of his slick scrotum and then pulled back and dipped it into his piss slit, feeling his lips separate. I grabbed him by those sculpted ass cheeks and pulled him even deeper into my mouth. He barely reached the back of my tongue, so I was able to take all of him easily and give him a thorough blowjob. 

He grabbed my hair and started to run his hands through it. “Fuck, Drew. You suck cock like a fucking world champion.” He began to move his hips a little, finding his rhythm and penetrating my mouth over and over again with his convenience-sized prick. I didn’t want to release his ass from my grasp, but I had to free my dick. So I let go and unfastened my own shorts, tugging them down enough to be able to fist my own meat. After a few more thrusts, Josh pulled out and glanced down at my business.

“Bro, nice cock,” he said admiringly, his eyes running up and down my thick six-incher.

“It gets the job done,” I told him. “You inspire it.” I stood up and stepped out of my shorts, then stepped out of my sandals as well. Josh kicked off his Nikes and we both stood there, still in shirts but naked from the waist down. Josh reached out and took my dick in his hand, checking it out, then lifted my shirttail to run his other hand across my bush, twining the hair around his fingers. He started to stroke me a little and it felt like a fantasy come to life. Well, because it was. 

“So I still wanna try that jackoff toy,” he said, peeling off his shirt and now completely nude. His buff pecs and washboard abs were totally smooth, with patches of curly hair in his pits. He had dime-sized aureoles with tiny nubs.  

I picked up the lube from the bed and smeared some over his cockhead and handed him the fleshlight. “I think you know what to do from there,” I said. “Just stick Josh Jr. in the hole.”

He held the toy by the base and lowered it over his dick in one push, then began to raise and lower it, up and down, the squishy sound of the lube filling the room. I stood behind him, my erection touching his left buttock. It was smooth and solid as marble. I watched over his shoulder as he pumped the fleshlight up and down his shaft like he was trying to get water from a well. It was then that it occurred to me that I hadn’t cleaned it after shooting off last night, so Josh was currently fucking my day-old spunk. That really turned me on and I began to masturbate furiously, matching him stroke for stroke.

“This feels incredible,” he said. “So wet and slick. Reminds me of this neighbor chick I used to fuck. Bitch’s pussy gushed like Ol’ Faithful.” He leaned his head back, in an ecstasy of masturbatory pleasure. Then he leaned forward, his left hand bracing himself on the bed and his right hand pistoning the fleshlight on his cock. That meant his ass was spread open a bit, just like in my imagination last night. I wasn’t going to let this chance pass by, so I dropped to my knees again, this time behind him, and began to knead his cheeks as he pumped the fleshlight. I gently pulled his buttocks apart and got my first look at his most private part. His asshole was as beautiful as the rest of him – it was bright pink and puckered tight as a fist. Whatever Josh got up to, it didn’t look like his back door was open for business. Still, I dove my tongue in and began to lick the bristly little blond hairs around his button. Josh moaned a little louder and didn’t make any moves to stop me, so I flicked the tip of my tongue over his hole and nipped the edges a little with my teeth. Then I pushed in and tasted his tunnel, working my tongue like I was trying to write a letter with it. 

I was devouring him when he stopped thrusting and pushed his ass back at me. “Damn, man, feels like you’re about to lick my liver.”

“Mm hmm,” I muttered, squeezing his ass with my hands while I continued to make a meal of his manhole.

“Dude… can I fuck you?” 

I stopped what I was doing. I was mostly a top, but I’d been cornholed a few times and I really didn’t think I’d have any trouble taking Josh’s size. And let’s face it, I would have done pretty much anything he asked. So I stood up, tugged off my shirt, then fell back on the bed, drawing my knees up to my chest and exposing my taint to him. He put the fleshlight to the side and stroked his dick, still rock-hard and covered in lube (and some of my jizz, probably). He grabbed the lube, squeezed out a glob, and spread it over my anus, coating the outside, then pressing a finger in to slick the inside. I gasped a bit when his finger pushed through my ring.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good. Keep going.”

He grabbed my thighs and pulled me right to the edge of the bed while positioning himself right between my legs. He pointed his dick down just a bit to line it up, then put the head right against my entrance. 

“Do it,” I said. “Push it all in.”

He sank his pecker into my ass in one smooth movement. There was a moment of pain, then the pleasure began as he started to move in and out in slow strokes. The feeling reminded me of being a young teenager, violating my boy-cunt with a taper candle just to see what was going on back there. Josh’s dick may have been smaller, but it still stretched me out some since I didn’t bottom very often. He used a steady, slow stroke, pushing in until his balls rested on my twat, then pulling back almost until the head came out. Then repeat over and over. I put my hands on his naked hips as he leaned over me a bit, his eyes closed as he savored the feeling of my warm, tight tunnel enveloping his boner. I let my eyes wander over his handsome face and down his perfectly fit body, his arm and pec muscles taut with the effort of holding himself in position to fuck me. A few moments later, he opened his eyes and looked down at me.

“Hey, flip over and use your toy while we do it doggy-style. I wanna watch you fuck it.”

“Sure.” I felt around in the sheets for the fleshlight and found it. I grabbed the lube and slicked my cock with it, then pierced the fleshlight lips. It was still warm from the friction of Josh’s dick. I got on my knees  in the middle of the bed and leveraged the base of the fleshlight into the mattress so it was held in place by the weight of my body. I shifted my hips up enough that Josh had good access to my hole. He knelt behind me and penetrated me again, this time ramming me with a little more emphasis. The momentum of his thrusts carried through me and pushed me further into the fleshlight, the slick silicone-like material molding to my dick.

“Goddamn, you feel incredible,” Josh moaned, panting a bit with the exertion of his fuck. “Does it feel good for you?”

“It’s fucking amazing,” I told him. “I can’t believe we’re doing this. I’ve thought about it so many times.”

“Me too,” he told me. “It turned me on, knowing you were checking me out.” He held my hips and gave me a few faster thrusts. “Bud, I’m getting close. Are you? I want you to cum with me.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty close.”

“Good. I wanna shoot my load on your back. Is that okay?”

“Go for it.” 

He pounded me a few more times, then grunted and pulled out. He started fisting his dick, then almost immediately I felt a hot wetness on my left shoulder blade, followed by a puddle of his broth searing the small of my back. Josh grunted like an animal a few times as the spasms of his climax rolled over him. The sound of his excitement finally pushed me past the point of no return. I rolled onto my back, not caring that I was smearing his sticky juice all over my sheets. I grabbed the fleshlight with both hands and quickly brought myself to orgasm, making noises similar to Josh as I emptied my balls into the tube. I was going to have to give the thing a thorough scrubbing now.

“Christ, that was hot,” Josh said, collapsing beside me on the bed.

“Even more than I ever imagined,” I said, my heart still hammering in my chest. “There is one thing we forgot though.”

“What?”

“We didn’t talk about your fee for the engagement party. I have an idea.”

“I just bet you do. Let’s have it.”

“Maybe after the party, you could resurrect your stripper act and give me a private show. I’ll get a shitload of singles.”

Josh laughed hard. “Maybe that could be arranged.”