And All The Stars That Never Were

“I’m going to level with you kid, and be blunt, you’re too gay to be an actor. I can’t send you out on auditions, you’d never get cast in anything.”

 It was the spring of 1982, I was 34; I was in my midtown Manhattan office. After college, I had no real direction, I was led by my dick. An older friend I was fucking got me a job with a casting agent. I learned the business and how to spot talent. More importantly, there was an endless supply of beautiful boys to fuck. I was born in Brooklyn and am direct.

 Six years after I began my career, at the age of 28, I struck out on my own with success. The Don Castellano Agency was a solid B-level operation. I wasn’t focused enough on the business to reach the heights; I was more focused on getting laid. My clients mostly got work on soap operas, in Off-Broadway theater and featured roles in New York-shot movies. A few became well known performers.

 As a gay man and a total top, again a major lure of the business was encountering a legion of highly fuckable young guys. Some were high and mighty and fled my office with their dignity and their asses intact when I propositioned them. However, many were willing to put out for even a remote chance of landing a job. 

Every afternoon, a mailman delivered a sack of envelopes containing dozens of black and white 8x10 headshots from aspiring hopefuls. My assistant culled through them, sending those from females and older men to junior agents, and passing on those from attractive young guys to me. If looking at a headshot made my dick hard, I’d have my secretary set up an appointment with the guy. Then there were the ones who showed up at the office without an appointment. If they were young cute guys, my secretary would have them wait in the reception area until I was free. It they weren’t, she’d politely allow them to leave their headshots in a bin, and politely send them on their way.

 I’d size them up. If they were straight, I might at least get a blowjob from them with the promise of signing them up, which I did if they had talent. If they were obviously gay, that was a whole other realm. There was no market in the business in 1982 for obvious or out gay actors. However, there was a lucrative market for them in the world’s oldest profession. I had an arrangement with pimps, I got a $1000 bounty for each boy I sent to them. There were also porn producers in need of performers, or guys in town who wanted a young male companion for a good time. Being a casting agent was a license to pimp. A grand Fire Island house must be paid for somehow. I was a sleaze, but not a thug. The boys I sent to degradation all went of their own free will. They were fucked up and needed a strong man to step in and guide them to their destinies. Usually, they either grew up without fathers or their fathers were repelled by them because they were fags, they had psychological issues. Plus, being young their hormones were raging and the idea of getting lots of dick excited many of them deep down.

 I was into the clone look back then and constantly bagged a lot of hot bottoms. Of course, I did. I was 6’ 2”, I worked out in the mornings, so I was in great shape at 34. I wore tight button-fly jeans with no underwear and plaid shirts. My brown hair was cut short, and I had a mustache. My voice was deep and masculine. Oh, and I was hung. My cut dick was exactly eight inches and was real a beauty, I had a fine pair of big hairy swaying balls. I was irresistible and I knew it.

 “I’m going to level with you kid, and be blunt, you’re too gay to be an actor. I can’t send you out on auditions, you’d never get cast in anything,” I said for the umpteenth time to another pixie doodle sitting in my office. This one was named Dana. He was a medium height wispy blue-eyed blond 19-year-old from Vermont who worked as a waiter in a fancy restaurant. No doubt he got the job because he was eye candy, he probably put out for it. He was wearing his uniform of a black suit, white shirt and black tie, he had a shift at 5:00 PM. He was so adorable and clean cut. I’d popped a major boner when I saw his headshot, he had such luscious cocksucking lips! I never even turned it over to see his resume! With that mouth on him, who the fuck cared where he was taking acting classes?!

 “You look like such a fag in your headshot. That would be okay if there was a touring company of The Boys in the Band to cast you in, but there isn’t. There’s not much of a future for you in the business” Dana sat stunned and blushing in his chair. “Do you like to suck cock?” I asked.

 Dana just sat there in silence. No one had ever spoken to him like this before, and he liked it, I could see that he was hard in his black suit pants. He got teary-eyed and nodded.

 “Cool, some of my best friends are cocksuckers.” I stood, undid my jeans. I stroked my hard big dick and sat back down. Dana’s eyes had grown wide, oh yeah. He saw what I had and liked what I had for him, that’s why he stayed. That’s why they all stayed.

 “If you’re good at it, I know someone who could put you to work doing it.”

 This was not sexual harassment! It was not sexual coercion! Dana could have got up and left my office. He didn’t. On the contrary, he got up and got on his knees by my desk.

 “Oh Dana!” I chuckled, “You’ve done this before!”

 Indeed, this little bitch was going to town on my cock! His cute young mouth opened wide, curling those cocksucking lips of his and licked my dickhead. “Good boy!” He was licking my shaft, and took it all in down to the base like a pro. “Do my balls.” He was now gobbling my balls. “Suck me.” He went back to sucking my cock.

 “Do you like to get fucked?” He looked up at me with my cock stuffed in his mouth, he nodded!

 “Of course, you do” I pulled my dick out of his mouth. “Pull down your pants and bend over my desk.” Dana got up, undid his belt, pulled down his pants and underwear. His nice-sized dick was rock hard. He bent over my desk, he had a fantastic fleshy ass, the kind that was meant to be fucked. I reached into a drawer and pulled out a jar of Vaseline. I put a gob on my cock and slicked it up, I put a gob on Dana’s ass crack.

 “AHHH!” wailed Dana as I shoved my cock deep into him. He was no virgin, his chute parted with ease but was still nice and tight. I fucked him with a steady rhythm. His ass bucked back at my hips and dick, he was a boy who loved getting fucked, that was for sure. His whimpering was such a turn on. Here I was, fucking a beauty on my desk at three in the afternoon. What a life!

 “Oh, I bet guys you wait on leave you big tips because they want to fuck you, I bet you slip them your phone number, so they can take you out. I bet you go on dates with them and then after, you suck their cocks and then spread your ass for them. You’re a real little slut, aren’t you?” I hissed.

 Dana was driven over the brink by my cock, my fucking and my dirty talk, he hollered as shot his load on my desk. A few more thrusts and I was cumming in his ass. I pulled out and wiped my cock off and did up my jeans.

 “Here, clean yourself up” I said handing Dana a towel. He wiped his ass and threw the towel in the trash. He redid his pants and underwear.

 “If you’re interested in escorting, call this guy” I said handing him a business card that said: Alberto Vazquez (212) ***-****

 Dana took the card and left.

 Alberto Vazquez was a 25-year-old Puerto Rican stud from the Bronx who’d been a client of mine. He was very talented but apart from playing thugs and drug dealers on episodic television, it wasn’t happening for him in the business. He turned to hustling, lots of guys paid plenty to pig out on his eight and half inch uncut Latin cock. Eventually, he found it easier instead to turn his cute young white boyfriend into a whore. His boyfriend turned tricks, kicked back the money to Alberto, he lived the life! He’d gone through four such boys in the last two years. He’d get bored and threw them out and move on. I knew he was looking for a new one and thought he and Dana would be a perfect match. Alberto would love tapping that and putting him to work. Dana would be in heaven on his knees and on his back taking Alberto’s pinga.

 Alberto was a smooth operator. He lived on 39th and Lexington Avenue in a penthouse apartment in a stately building. He’d take his new boy out to a nice dinner at close by French restaurant, like a date. He’d wine and dine them and get to know them. They’d go back to his place and fuck. He knew just how to bond with a submissive gay boy and within days they were turning tricks for him. Today, it would be said that they were dickmatized by him.

 “Mr. Vazquez is on line 2” said my secretary over the intercom about a week after I’d fucked Dana on my desk.

 “Don! How’s it going!”

 “Just great, Alberto.”

 “Hey, the new kid you sent has worked out well!”

 “Glad to hear it.” Ah, of course Dana called Alberto! I bet he couldn’t quit that restaurant fast enough after taking Alberto’s cock and the promise of getting it regularly in return for being pimped out. Some gay men think with their dicks, Dana was like most who thought with their mouths and asses and got treated accordingly.

 “Come by anytime for your taste.”

 “Will do, take care.”

 A few nights later, I went to the East Side, to Rounds, an elegant gay bar on 53rd Street between Second and Third Avenues. It was a hustler bar, where the elite went when they wanted to buy a boy. Alberto was sitting in a booth alone drinking a martini. He was wearing a custom-made gray pin-stripe suit, white shirt and tie. He looked like a successful young businessman, which he was.

 “Don! Good to see you!” I sat down in the booth. “Waiter! Jack Daniels on the rocks.” Alberto knew my drink, it arrived soon after.

 “Thanks so much Don!” said Alberto passing an envelope to me, I didn’t have to open it, I knew there were 10 $100 bills in it. Alberto lit up a Newport.

 “Dana is muy bueno!” laughed Alberto, “He’s taken to the life and is a great worker. ”

 During the day, Dana worked the East Side porn stores giving blowjobs for $20 a pop in the buddy booths or going back to tricks’ hotel rooms for some afternoon delight. Alberto would hang out a diner, Dana would report back to him and turn over the money. At 5:00 PM they were at Rounds in a booth. Men would come over, pay Alberto $100, then go off with Dana to a hotel across the street for a fuck session.

 “With all the dick that puta gets, he still wants mine!” laughed Alberto. “Of course, he’s fucked out and passes out at night. After all, he turns five or six, sometimes seven tricks a night. In the morning, he’s all dewy and frisky. He’s in bed sucking my cock, I shave his ass and throw him a fuck before I put him to work, he’s happy.”

 “Hello Don” said Dana, he had come over to the booth, after servicing his most recent trick.

 Alberto ran a classy operation; Dana was decked out like a trim fuckable preppy boy. He was wearing Brooks Brothers khakis, Alden shoes, and a pink Lacoste polo shirt with the collar turned up.

 “Nice to see you again, Dana.”

 “Hey, the guy over there in the seersucker suit is your next trick” said Alberto.

 “Ok” said Dana. 

“So long, Dana” I said as he went off with a guy in his 50’s.

 “Nice catching up with you, Alberto.” We shook hands and I went to the bar with $1000 in my pocket, I got another drink and lit up a Camel. I looked around at the panorama, old guys looking to buy a boy, animated boys looking to land a trick, tough guys who were pimps overseeing their inventory and collecting their cash. Nearby sitting on wingchair was an old, suited guy. Sitting on his lap was the smiling 18-year-old Vince. He was a cute dark curly-headed lively boy. I had fucked him in my office three months ago and sent him to Nestor. Nestor was a rough customer; his operation was a stable of four boys he kept in his Spanish Harlem apartment in a bedroom with two bunk beds. He drove them around and put them to work in East Side bars and hotels. He had an opening, I thought Vince would be a good fit and sent him to Nestor. Vince took a while to get used to the life, but Nestor knocked sense into him. I saw Vince get up from the guy’s lap, the old guy got up, the crotch of his suit trousers was tenting, he was quite aroused by the prospect of fucking Vince. They left together.

 I stopped off at the Adonis on 50th and 8th Avenue to unwind. This gay porn palace was around the corner from my apartment. It was exciting to see Mark up on the screen in a fuck flick. He’d been a beautiful blond flaming Southern boy who was clearly photogenic, but he was too gay for real movies. After fucking him in my office, I sent him to Murray Brandt, a major porn producer. Soon, Mark was a porn star bottom for about two years. There he was now in a prison flick getting gang raped in the shower by a posse of Blacks and Latins. A cute college student-type wearing glasses sat down next to me. I undid my jeans, hauled out my hard cock and got a nice blowjob from him.

 Months passed without any more contact with Alberto and Dana, we were all busy with our own businesses. One weekend I was at my Fire Island house in July. I was invited to Sunday brunch by a Broadway producer in his 40s. It had been a surprise when the front door was opened by Dana. He was wearing just a red Speedo, which he nicely filled out in the front and back. He looked gorgeous; my dick instantly got hard.

 “Dana nice to see you! You’ve come up in the world, you must be Morton’s new houseboy.”

 “That I am.”

 “Good for you.”

 “They’re out in back.”

 “I know the way.”

 There were six of us altogether, in our 30’s and 40’s. We were all in various swimsuits and were all in great shape. Dana was busy serving us brunch and pitchers of Bloody Marys. “Yum” said Randall, who was in publishing, as he groped Dana’s ass through his Speedo.

 After brunch, Milton announced, “Dana will be available in the cabana.” The cabana was a miniature version of Philip Johnson’s Connecticut Glass House. with a single bed inside that was near the pool. Indeed, Dana was now in the cabana, he was visible through the glass. Milton’s after-brunch fuckfests were famous, he always got the best boys, of which Dana definitely was, I knew! A bucket was passed with slips of paper, each guest took one. The numbers were from one to six, the order in which the guests got to fuck Dana. Mine was three.

 “Yes!” yelled Victor, a Venezuelan-born fashion designer in his 30’s who had drawn number one. He raced to the cabana, took off his swimsuit, revealing his big uncut Latin dick. We could see Dana sucking it through the glass.

“So, Milton,” I said, “The last I knew, Dana was working for Alberto, how’d you get him away?”

 “Well, I had Dana a few times from going to Rounds. Alberto booked a guest-spot on The A-Team, and decided to relocate and start over in LA. Dana was now available, I swooped in and offered him the house boy gig for the summer, he was most grateful. A boy with his gifts was meant to be used, and he is. Look at him go!”

 “I know! I made him what is he today!” I laughed; we were now watching Victor vigorously fucking Dana doggie style. I sipped a Bloody Mary as I watched Miles, a real estate developer get his cock sucked by Dana, and then fuck him. It was my turn; I entered the glass cabana. I tossed off my swimsuit. Dana chowed down on my cock; he sure was experienced now. Then I fucked him on his back. I returned to the pool area for another drink and watched as Dana did Morton, then Randall, and finally Marcel, a film company executive.

 Dana put his Speedo back on and stumbled out of the glass cabana, he could barely walk, that was understandable after just getting his ass fucked six times. He went into the house, returning with a fresh pitcher of Bloody Marys for us. Gradually, the gathering broke up.

 At night, I went with friends to a drag show. On my own later, I strolled through The Meat Rack and got a blowjob from a twink. I saw Dana on his knees sucking on some hot model’s dick. Dana was insatiable and was appealing to get great dick. I fucked Dana a few more times that summer at Morton’s. Summer ended.

 On Thanksgiving, I went to a dinner party given by Roger, a college professor. Afterward, a few of us went over to the Gaiety for some entertainment. The Gaiety in Times Square was the place to go to see boys dance and strip. It was mobbed as due to the holiday; gay men wanted to be somewhere festive. Various boys of different types performed. Then Dana came out shirtless wearing light blue gym shorts. He danced with animation to the Pointer Sisters’ “I’m So Excited,” with his lithe body. He lap-danced with guys in the audience who put money in his shorts. He then left the stage. He returned nude, his dick was hard, his balls jiggled, and his ass was perfect, he was beautiful. With frenzy, he danced to Duran Duran’s “Hungry Like the Wolf.” I and many in the audience threw dollar bills on the stage. I was happy to see that Dana was performing and got quite a haul money which he scooped up. In the lounge there was a punchbowl and chips. There, the dancers mingled with customers in hopes of turning tricks outside of the theater. I saw the beaming Dana strutting around, getting groped and chatting with guys, I got so fucking hard seeing him be so forward with men, peddling his ass. I rarely get carried away, but I wanted to fuck him so badly then and there.

 “How much?” I whispered to him without a trace of recognition of our past involvements when he passed by me. I spoke to him like the whore he had become, for which I was somewhat responsible for.

 "40 for a blowjob, 100 to go all the way” he said in a flat voice.

 I peeled off five 20’s and handed them to him. I ditched my friends; we left the Gaiety. I followed Dana across the street to a dumpy hotel whose clientele were whores and their tricks. I paid $20 to the desk clerk and a got a key.

 In the room, I undid my fly and hauled out my dripping hard cock. There was no mere blowjob. No, I was possessed and skull-fucked Dana. I rammed my eight inches in and out of his stretched-out mouth, I could feel my dickhead scratching his tonsils. Dana took it like the champ cocksucker he was. Then the main event. I picked him up and tossed him on the bed on his back. I ripped off his gym shorts and T-shirt, he was wearing a white jockstrap, he raised his legs and spread his hole for me. From the night table, I grabbed the Vaseline jar conveniently there. I gobbed up my cock, I didn’t gob his hole, I wanted him to really feel it. I slammed my cock right in him. I fucked and fucked his ass, it felt so good, it was a power trip. Dana gurgled from the delight I was giving him. His jock was now moist and stained from his load my cock caused him to shoot off. I pulled my cock out and blasted my cum all over his chest, some hit him in his face. I wiped my dick off with his gym shorts, did my jeans up and walked out, leaving him drenched in my cum. I was exhilarated.

 The next summer, I was on Fire Island. I went to Morton’s for Sunday brunch. The door was opened not by Dana, but by a different blond twink in a red Speedo. “Hi, I’m Boyd…”

 Out by the pool, Boyd served us brunch and drinks. The we drew numbers and took turns fucking Boyd in the glass cabana. He was almost as good as Dana. Whatever happened to Dana? I know you like happy endings, and this story has one.

 A few nights later I was at a Fire Island charity event at a lavish home with a lot of A-listers. I saw the silver-haired Marvin Gold across the room and went over to say hello. He was an older, handsome, very successful lighting and antiques dealer with an East Side show room. His crowning glory was hanging a chandelier at the White House for Jackie, the picture of them together is amazing. He had his arm around a cute blond.

 "Don! Meet my new lover, Dana.”

 Dana was a vision. He was tanned and wearing red-striped Brooks Brothers shorts, a taut black Lacoste shirt, black Gucci loafers and Ray Bans. He stood taller and looked so confident.

 “Dana, this is an old friend, Don Castellano.”

 “Nice to meet you” he said shaking my hand, “I’m going to mix” said Dana in a calm voice, smiling at Marvin as he left.

 Marvin and I sat on the terrace with our drinks.

 “So, Marvin, you finally settled down, congratulations!”

 “Well, I turned 60, and it was time to start to take it easier and share life and what I worked for with someone.”

 “Nice, how did you two meet?”

 “I’m not going to bullshit you!” laughed Marvin, “At the Gaiety! I was smitten seeing him dance and strip. I made a beeline to the lounge to pay him for a date. I became a steady client and one thing led to another. I don’t care that he’s been around the block. He’s down to earth and has a good head on his shoulders.”

 “I bet he does, the sex must be awesome.”

 “Oh man, it’s fucking fantastic to wake up in the morning with him next to me in bed sucking my cock! I get to fuck that honey pot of an ass he has every night! Of course, he’s well taken care of, and he has his freedom, I have no illusions. I’m training him in the business, if he sticks around it will all be his one day. We’re very happy…”

 Indeed, they were very happy, they lived on Park Avenue, there were first-class buying trips to Europe, the best seats at Broadway shows and meals at top restaurants. A 40-year age difference can be surmounted. Dana played his cards right and landed a super Sugar Daddy. Marvin got a sweet slutty boytoy to please him and to show off to his old codger pals.

 Dana did have his freedom. I saw him alone around on the circuit, at all the major gay haunts. The Anvil, The Mineshaft and the Club Baths. It was fascinating seeing have him sex with hot guys his own age, he could indulge in that now that he’d hit a gold mine with Marvin. I never approached him; I had gotten him out of my system after our fuck in the whore hotel.

 Marvin and Dana were together for 32 years until Marvin’s death at the age of 92, they had gotten married, and Dana got everything. He later sold the business to a conglomerate for a bundle, the name remained “Marvin Gold Lighting & Antiques,” as it was prestigiously old school. Dana stayed on as a highly paid consultant before retiring to Palm Springs and taking up with a hot Puerto Rican in his 30’s. Dana and I are Facebook friends, I recently wished him a happy 60th birthday. Time does fly.

 I’m here happily alone in my Wilton Manors, Florida, condo. I’m part of the gay community and social scene there, I retired long ago. At 75 with Viagra, I still have my urges, young paid companions take care of those.

 The other day, I was searching around in the file cabinets for some documents for taxes and I came across a box filled with boys’ headshots whom I had fucked in my office and then passed onto pimps for $1000 each. I had saved these as trophies, I saw Dana’s and it took me back. Most of the others did not have such happy endings. Oh well, that’s life.