All Grown Up

Chapter 1

Childhood Fantasies Reignited

I had only been in my new apartment for three days the first time the fire alarm went off in the middle of the night. I could hear the buzzers and stirred from my slumber. I saw the clock in its pale white light telling me it was only 2am.

What the fuck? I thought to myself as I rolled out of my bed. I grabbed the pair of pj bottoms and the white tank top that I had discarded the night before as I had slumped into my bed. Bleary eyed and a bit dazed, I stumbled towards the door, kicking a few of the boxes that I had yet to unpack along the way.

Just three days in and already I was pissed off with this new building. Not as pissed off as I was when I moved into my first apartment right after Joe died. Not as pissed off as I had been escaping my mother’s house at last, getting away from my new stepfather and grabbing the first available apartment nearby. Just pissed off that I had to get up in the middle of the night all alone. It made me truly miss that first apartment I had for a few months before I took off to Europe, and how I’d probably be walking out of the building beside my burly neighbour. But this was now, and I flung open my door to the full blast of the fire alarm.

This building had no hot neighbour like the last one, and being on the third of four floors, it wasn’t an overly large building with no elevators. It was one of those quaint little places in the middle of a neighbourhood and was supposed to be quiet. At 2am with the alarms blaring in the hallway, it was anything but quiet.

The buzzing didn’t stop, so I stepped out into the hallway to take a look around. The old couple beside me were stepping out together as well and heading towards the stairs as the single old lady across from me peered at me from her slightly open door questioningly. I was in no mood to talk to anyone or figure out what was actually happening so I grabbed my keys and went towards the stairs, letting my door slam shut behind me and padded down the hallway, barefoot, in my pj bottoms and tank top, looking like the pissed off jock boy next door that I truly was.

This ought to give the old folks a show I smirked to myself as I looked down at my abs showing through my shirt. Still 25, back in top form, my smooth body was something people stared at now that I was on the hunt for some attention and affection. I had yet to find what I was looking for, probably still grieving my relationship with Joe and not wanting to settle for anyone. I kept comparing and expecting more.

I took a step outside and regretted not grabbing a sweater. It was a chilly early September evening, and my nipples went rock hard as the blast of early morning air hit me. It had been hotter than normal this week yet the nights were definitely cooling down. It didn’t help that I was barefoot, stepping onto the cold pavement and heading sideways as the firetruck pulled in. I stepped sideways, turning my attention to the several men unloading in their gear, shoving hats on their heads, putting on those oversized beige coats, hiking their suspenders over their blue tees, big rubber boots stamping around as they got organized. A couple young firefighters caught my attention, and one or two older ones too, so I crossed my arms and squared off my shoulders, puffing out my chest and pushing my biceps out even more to see if anyone would bite. I watched a couple of firefighters approach the super of the building as he came out, a balding European guy with a beer gut, as he held his hands up shaking his head.

“False alarm.” The one young guy shouted over to the man at the passenger side of the truck. He had his back to me and had not donned his jacket. I could tell he was built thick, with his broad back and thick neck and muscles showing through his tight blue shirt, the straps of the suspenders hanging down from his waist over top of the loose beige uniform pants. I could see the back of his skull, shaved short, almost a light grey or blonde in the dark light. My eyes focused on his wide neck, and the bump of muscle leading across his broad shoulders as I let other tenants gather around.

I think my fascination with uniforms started early, even though I hadn’t really acted on it. Even before my baseball coach seduced me and introduced me to the pleasures of a man, I had always thought of men in uniform to be somewhat powerful, downright authoritarian. Even before I had my first taste of cock. Even before I knew what it felt like to be taken by a man, even out of uniform.

I was currently on a streak with men in uniforms it seemed. Even though my stepfather was the most frequent source recently, I had a few others on the side that were fulfilling quite a lot of pent-up fantasies at the moment. I hadn’t had a firefighter just yet, but I’ve always craved one. I knew that now as I stared at these men in their gear.

And then the older firefighter turned around and all my childhood fantasies came flooding back. I stared at him, outright, and my mouth fell open as I recognized him. I studied the profile of his face, the shape of his large Roman style nose that matched his round face. My eyes went down to his huge forearms and noted the reddish-blonde hair that wrapped around them. The size of his hands, the blonde eyebrows, the full lips….

He did a double take and held my stare a bit longer the second time, before he turned away again and then looked back at me for a third time. I recognized him right away, but then he hadn’t changed that much. I on the other hand had grown quite a bit, and filled out rather nicely compared to the little 14-year-old boy he used to know. I could see his brain working, the way his eyes squinted in thought, and then his lips parted, and a sideways smile went up his handsome face and he started walking directly towards me.

My heart was thumping in my chest. I knew he was a firefighter but never in my wildest fantasies did I ever think about him again. Not since my mother and I moved away. But as he came striding towards me, I realized I had repressed what I had been feeling all these years as memories of my big hunky former neighbour came flooding over me.

“Brian?” He asked, incredulously as he stepped within talking distance to me. He didn’t seem as big as I remembered, because I always thought of him as the largest man I knew as a kid, but he was still bigger than me in height and mass. I felt like a little kid again, looking up into those soft light brown eyes. “Holy shit! Look at you!”

He held out a hand and a hearty handshake happened, him pumping my arm fast as his mouth dropped open in shock. “Mr. Campbell?”

“Holy shit, it IS you!” He repeated, grabbing our pumping fists with his other hand to clasp around mine, stopping the motion and holding it down as he stared at me. I watched his eyes roam up and down my body, taking in my size. The last time I had seen this man I was only 14, about two feet shorter, and probably 100 pounds lighter.

“It is!” I breathed out, hiding the giddiness I was feeling inside as the DILF from my repressed childhood memories swept through me. A flood of emotions ran through my brain as I remembered this man, our next door neighbour, his wife, their two girls that I played with. A flash of him working in his garage and cutting the grass shirtless came to mind, as did me swimming in his pool when I was a kid, remembering him in that short orange bathing suit, or staring at his bare feet in his house as he never wore socks it seemed, or quietly staring at him, watching him all the time as I played with his daughters. I even remember sneaking peeks out my window when I heard him come home from work in his casual firefighter gear – the blue shirt and tight blue pants. It all came flooding back as he held my hands in his grip and he stared down at me with his wide open grin. As I looked up into those golden brown eyes, I suddenly realized this man was my first gay crush.

“Holy SHIT!” He said again, letting go of my hand and resting his hands on his hips. I noted the size of his pecs, still large, still pumped. His face showed signs of age, with a bit more wrinkles and squint lines around his eyes in the last ten plus years I’d seen him. Even his stubble had more grey now than the blonde fuzz he was always sprouting before with hints of fire red mixed through. He was of Scottish heritage, born in Canada from Scottish immigrants, and he was every bit a Scottish man, large and booming, with freckles on his arms and legs underneath the soft matting of reddish-blonde fur that covered them that I remembered so vividly all of a sudden. My mind sent me a picture again of him in that orange bathing suit, his stomach flat and his chest big, barrel chested, and how my mom used to giggle and stare at him. I remembered watching her do it, as I did just as much, wondering why I was just as infatuated with this man.

I suddenly remembered his wife, and hearing that she had recently passed away, just before Joe did. My mom had mentioned it. I only remembered because she had gone to her funeral only a few weeks before Joe died. She still saw them every now and then, after we had moved away into the place my mom is in now. I had heard that his wife had died from breast cancer just after Christmas. The funeral was when I was with Joe at his dad’s place, that last Christmas I spent with him. My mom had told me about the funeral, and the girls and how sad they were, and suggested I get in touch with Tami who was now single, hinting the way she did even though she knew I was with Joe.

I remembered that funeral because she had gone to it only a few weeks before Joe died. And how she had gone to that one, for someone she barely saw anymore, but didn’t come to Joe’s funeral a month later, as if she didn’t want to acknowledge he was someone special in my life.

My mouth clamped shut and I tilted my head sideways in that “I’m so sorry for your loss” look. “I heard about Mrs. Campbell and I’m so sorry.”

He went to say something, but then let out a big sigh. “Aw thanks Brian. It was hard but I’m glad she’s not suffering anymore.” He let his big eyes fall for a minute before looking back up at me and then crossed his arms over his big chest. “But HOLY SHIT I can’t believe how much you’ve changed!” He leaned back, letting me see that his stomach was still flat. How old was this guy now? 50? Has to be at least but holy fuck, I thought as I tried to calculate his age, looking at his still fit muscular body, eyeing him from the thickness of his neck right down to his big rubber boots.

Big men especially had always infatuated me, and Mr. Neil Campbell had always seemed like the biggest man to me in my younger days as an extremely short kid. They were our next door neighbours when my mom and I moved into the tiny house beside their larger one. I had been infatuated with Mr. Campbell since the age of 8, but mostly because I thought of him as the perfect dad. Big, strong, caring, fun, and always around. He had two daughters who were around my age, one older than me by a few years, and one a year younger. And as he stood in front of me, and the experience I had now had with large men, I began to realize exactly why I was infatuated with him.

I heard someone call him captain and he momentarily turned to a younger firefighter and motioned towards the truck before his eyes came back to me and his smile widened. He shook his head again and let out a laugh. “Someone pulled the alarm so it’s safe to go back inside. But I cannot get over how much you’ve grown.” He bit his lower lip, sucking in that plump lower portion of his mouth that made him look even sexier for a moment. He seemed to be lost in thought for a moment, and then gave me a playful punch on the shoulder and returned his hand to the folds of his arms and smiled even more. “You’re all grown up now! Didcha put on like, 100 pounds? I remember tossing you around in the pool and you weighed next to nothing! You were as light as a feather. But look at you now! You’ve certainly packed on the muscle! You’d be a lot heavier to throw around now!”

He bit his lower lip again and his eyes flicked up to mine, holding my gaze back. I sensed a flirt, but there was no way. But I tossed out a flirty response back without thinking. “Won’t know till you try.” I smiled back.

That memory appeared in my brain, a wet Mr. Campbell, throwing us kids around in his backyard pool, each one of us giggling, swimming towards him, screaming as he threw us in the air and landed in the water. I remember clinging to his shoulders, those rounded wet strong muscles, the smoothness of his back, the way his chest hair plastered against his muscular pecs, the pinkness of his small nipples, the way his hands felt on my body, and on my ass as he lifted me in the air, and the way his body looked as he held me there, muscles bulging, and those eyes looking up at me with his open mouthed smile…

I held his gaze in return and then added, “Yeah, I finally grew I guess and packed on some mass.” I was always the shortest kid, everywhere I went. Like a waif, the shortest in every grade, up until my first year of university, thanks to eating and working out hard. “Just needed some protein I guess.” I winked at him and I saw him lick the bottom of his lips and bite down on that lower lip again. I chuckled to myself, thinking back to all the protein I ingested once I turned 19 and wondered what his cum would taste like. And with that thought, I let my eyes look down to his crotch.

“Well, it paid off cause look at you! Holy shit.” He said a little more quietly this time. When I looked back up to his face, I noticed his eyes roaming again, this time slower, taking in my broad shoulders and my pecs, my flattened stomach. I wondered if he was counting the ripples of my 6 pack that were apparent under my tight tank. Or the size of my feet as I stood barefoot. I took in his clean-shaven face with the scruffiness of his greying stubble, and the shorn hair on his head, and how he still retained a full head of hair even though he kept it short. He still had a wedding ring on his left hand despite the loss, and suddenly his voice was snapping me out of my inner thoughts.

“I ran into your mom a little while ago. She’s with someone new now.”

I nodded before I realized he wasn’t asking.

He cleared his throat and put his big hands on his waist, spreading his booted feet apart and sort of trying to adjust his body to a more squared stance in front of me, which only made him look hotter. “Yeah, she made a point of grabbing my arm and saying something like, if only I knew you’d be single.” He rolled his eyes, testing me with a smile as if he was letting me in on the fact that my mom was a piece of work. “She said you were single again too, and that you too had lost someone?” He tilted his head sideways, this time asking the question, unsure of what it meant as I’m sure she didn’t elaborate.

I looked up, wondering what exactly my mom had told him. I doubted very much that she had confessed to him that I had been in a homosexual relationship with a giant muscled man, but I was surprised that she had mentioned the loss of him. I played it safe, unsure of what this straight dad would think of his former kid neighbour. For some reason, I desperately wanted his approval.

“Yeah, I was in a relationship for just over three years.” I paused, surprised at how raw this still felt, 8 months later. “Passed away after a car accident unfortunately.” I added, avoiding any pronouns and cringing at what Joe would think of me.

His hand went to my shoulder right away, and I felt my heart flutter. His hand covered my trapezoid muscle, squeezing it hard, his fingers digging into my bare skin around my tank top. I felt the immediate connection as I looked up into his eyes.

“I’m so sorry to hear.” He let his head bend down a bit as he took a step even closer to me than he already was. “Grief isn’t easy. Trust me. So, if you ever need to talk….” He hesitated, and gave a little sigh. “I’ve always thought of you as a son, considering you never had a father to look up to, and I only had girls. And I know how your mom can be, so….” He stopped again, raising his eyebrows at me as if he was crossing a line saying even more about my mom, and waited to see my reaction, “…if you ever need to talk about anything, ANYTHING, let me know.” His hand went up to the side of my head and he gently gave my head a little fatherly shake. “I mean it. I’m still at the same house so I’m sure you remember where that is, so drop by or give me a call.” That large hand went back to my shoulder along with his other one. I felt like a kid again, staring up into Mr. Campbell’s light brown eyes as he held me at arms’ length, paternally, giving me a reassuring squeeze like he knew me. Like he understood what I was going through. Like he would approve of me.

Yeah, Mr. Campbell was my first crush. And right now, he was once again.I thought as I watched him walk away. He turned around once to catch me watching, but he just smiled and waved a big hand at me.

He permeated my thoughts for the next few days before I finally gave in, surrendered to all my fears and I called him. My mom had given me the number after I told her I had run into him. She asked if he had mentioned dating anyone yet. And then there was one question about his daughter. I figured my mom may have thought I wanted the number to set something up with her. But that wasn’t what I had in mind. Something was pulling me to him. Was it our shared grief? Was it the way he looked at me? Was it suppressed feelings that I had always had for him that were now unleashed? Or was it my sheer lust for this hunky man? So, I took a shot and called, and was surprised that I caught him at home.

He seemed equally pleased that I reached out, his deep voice putting me to ease over the phone. I relaxed into the conversation just listening to him speak, the way he sounded, the laughter, the hesitation in his voice just as much I could hear in my own. He even went so far as saying he was hoping I would call after our chance reunion. He mentioned he was off on Saturday, and the weather had remained hot as we headed into the second weekend of September. He then said he hadn’t closed the pool, and suggested I come over on Saturday to hang out and catch up. When I agreed, he added that I should bring a swimsuit in case I wanted him to throw me around in the pool again, to see if I was indeed heavier. His laugh covered up my breathy sounds as I pictured that. He offered to bbq, and we could just hang out and chat and swim and talk. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but my hopes were high as I replayed the way he looked at me the other night. There was something in his eyes that night, and I wondered if he ever thought of me like that. The way I was thinking about him.

Saturday came slowly, but as I found myself returning to his place, driving up to beside my old house, it was a true blast from the past. Same front door I remember coming to, same sort of smell of the street. I glanced next door to the one floor home beside his two-storey one, remembering my mother and I there alone for a number of years. I had moved in there with her when I was 8, and had lived there till the age of 14 when we moved to the home my mom lives in currently and I went to a new high school. I never really knew why we moved, but I remember being upset about it. I guess I never realized just how much our next door neighbours the Campbells meant to me.

Mr. Campbell opened the door with a wide fast swing, standing in a pair of shorts and a tee, his tree trunk thick legs looking all blonde haired and meaty, right down to his wide bare smooth feet. I couldn’t help but take him all in, from veins running along the top of his smooth feet, right up his leg, to the giant hand extended out from his white tee shirt. I forced myself to look up, into his face, but the handsome smile beaming on him didn’t help calm my fluttering stomach.

He pursed his lips and gave me a look as he held the door open. “Holy shit I still can’t believe how much you’ve grown!” He reached out with his huge arm and pulled me in this time by the tricep. I swore I felt him give it a squeeze, testing out the size of my arm before he enveloped me in a massive bear hug, squeezing me tight at the door. He smelled fantastic, my face buried in between his enormous pecs as he hugged me tight. He pressed his face into the side of my head and clenched me tightly. I tried to regain my balance a bit, letting my arms go around as much as they could given the items I was carrying. I had wished I had dropped them so I could embrace his wide, solid body. My god he smelled good, I thought to myself as I inhaled his scent. He stepped back and grabbed the side of my arms again and held me there. “Jesus you are solid!” He said loudly, feeling my biceps in his grip on purpose this time, his big golden-brown eyes checking me out and making me feel lightheaded. “You were just a skinny little thing the last time you were swimming in my pool.”

“Well you’re no slouch either. You’re a beast! Still looking good yourself Mr. Campbell.” I was so thankful for the hot sunny Saturday on this early September day, as I wanted very much to be back in his pool with him so I could show him I was no longer a skinny thing. And I could get a good look at him too.

I shut the door behind me with my foot when he finally let go and stepped out of my flip flops. I noticed he looked down at my own feet as I did, lingering a bit too long perhaps, which gave me an inkling of hope. I handed him the case of alcoholic ciders I brought, and the veggie tray I had in my other hand that I had told him I would bring to supplement the bbq. He gave me that “you shouldn’t have” look, as any gracious host would do, and I suddenly thought aren’t we a pair of women right now. And yet we weren’t. Just two guys, two widowers really, lonely, after the deaths of our loved ones, needing something.

I watched his ass move in his bathing suit as he turned around quickly with my stuff in his hand, biceps now flexed and large as he held both things directly in front of his body. I followed him into his kitchen, now moving my eyes from his arms back to his ass. His butt was still round and firm which I couldn’t tell from the other night in his gear, so it was nice to see him bare legged and wearing a pair of shorts that hugged his rump so perfectly. I was wondering if he chose this suit on purpose when he turned to ask me a question and I’m sure he caught me looking.

“I hope you brought your bathing suit. I cranked up the heater so the pool’s 85. It’s a beautiful one out there.” He put a big hand on the counter, flat out and put the other one in a fist against his hip. “It’s been a while since anyone has been in the pool, other than me.” He gave me a sad smile and stared at me, and then shook his head. “I still can’t believe how much you’ve grown!”

This time I rolled my eyes. “Okay stop it, you’re embarrassing me.” I gave him my best stare back with a smile. “I’ve done a lot of growing up since you saw me last.”

He held my gaze for a moment, and I wondered what he was thinking. He didn’t give me any indication, but his eyes stayed on my face before he snapped out of it. “You have. I’m sorry, I’m just so…impressed!” he clapped his hands together at that and crossed his arms over that meaty chest like he did the other night. “So impressed, honestly. I’ve thought about you a lot since you guys moved away. I was so out of it at the funeral I didn’t even talk to your mom. But when I saw her a couple months ago I asked then. But she didn’t mention how much you changed.” He smiled again, shaking his head at me. “You look really good Brian.”

“So do you.” I said, nodding, holding that gaze. I saw his smile grow a bit, and I think he actually blushed as he looked back at me.

“Well, I try. It’s not easy once you’re over 50. Takes a lot more discipline. When Karen died it gave me something to focus on.” He started to load up the ciders into the fridge and held one out for me. I nodded and took the one he was holding out, my fingers grazing his as I did, feeling that bolt of electricity run through me at that slightest touch. I think I blushed at that moment as he grinned at me and continued talking. “Got me out of my depression at least. I think I’m in better shape now than I ever was.” He slapped a hand on his flat stomach, and I nodded in agreement as I opened the can in my hand.

He took one as well and looked down at it, reading the label.

“It’s alcoholic. I can’t drink beer apparently. Allergic to something in it as I discovered the hard way in university.” I said, reading his mind.

He gave me a grimace as if he didn’t want to know what the hard way was and then shrugged, opening the can. “Well, if it’s alcoholic, it’s good enough for me. Cheers kid.” He brought the can to mine, and we did a pretend clink as the word “kid” echoed in my brain. He had always called me kid, and suddenly it ignited something in me. I watched him open his can and lift it up to his full lips and take a long swig, his thick Adam’s apple bobbing up and down for a couple swallows, before he lowered it and let out that gasp of satisfaction and looked down at the can. “Not bad.” He said studying the can in his meaty paw, before turning to me. “I’m glad you came over. It was amazing running into you like that.” He leaned on the counter, bending at the waist and I could see him cross one foot over the other, rubbing his foot around the ankle of his other one. “Seriously, I’ve thought about you often, wondered how you turned out, what you had gotten in to. It’s a shame the girls never stayed in touch with you.”

His girls, Tami and Shawna. Tami was a year younger than me and was always following me around. His older daughter, Shawna was a bit of a bossy bitch, so no love lost there. But at one point, Tami was someone that I thought about, in a romantic sort of way as much as you could when you were 14. I was now wondering if it was simply to get close to her father.

“I’m really sorry again about Mrs. Campbell. I was away for the funeral….”

He held up his hand as he finished another drink from the can. “Your mom told Tami that you were out of town and sent your regrets.” He gave me a smile. “In fact, she told Tami that you were really sorry for not being there for her.” He gave a small shake of his head as he continued to put the pieces of my mother’s ways together. Then his smile softened, and his eyes squinted a bit. “I’m sorry we didn’t hear about your significant other, or else I would have paid my respects to you.”

I let the words ‘significant other’ sink in and wondered if my mom had told him more than I thought. He said she ran into him. What does he know about me? And is this why I was here now?

“Were you two living together?” He seemed genuinely interested. I just wasn’t sure how to tell him.

I stopped for a moment, letting the image of Joe was over me again. My big, handsome dark-haired man. The love of my life really. The man who had literally saved me and taught me so much. And yet for the last 8 months I seemed to be lost again. I looked up into this blonde hunk’s eyes standing across the island from me. The man who was like a father to me growing up. The man who had recently lost someone he loved. And I felt the strength and confidence that Joe had given me during the last few years.

“Yes. For three years. He was my world.” Was all I said.

Mr. Campbell watched me and didn’t flinch, his lips pursed together as if he was thinking about how he was supposed to respond to my slip of the pronoun. I watched him, almost daring him to ask me. He sucked in that bottom lip again and let his head nod in sorrow with me. But then he just gave me a smile as if he was deciding against what he was going to say. Or maybe he did already know about me being with a man.

“I’m really sorry you lost him.” He said suddenly. He stood up from the counter and planted his feet on the tiled floor in a wide stance and held out his can to mine. “To those we loved and lost.” He said quietly.

I touched his can with mine and felt a tear forming. I watched him take a drink as I did, and then he put the can on the counter, already empty. He put his hands on the counter and winked at me.

“Okay. Enough sadness. Time we take this party outdoors. You got your suit on?” He pointed at my shorts with his finger and thumb in a gun-like motion, and then did the same with his other hand at the backpack hanging over my shoulders as if wondering where my bathing suit was. I shook my head and hooked my thumb over my shoulder indicating it was in my backpack and he pointed to the front foyer. “Change in there and meet me out back.”

I downed my drink to steady my nerves and let the alcohol begin to take effect as fast as it could and slipped into the familiar vanity bathroom near the front door as I heard the sliding door open and close. It opened again as I was changing, and again before I was done. When I emerged in my board shorts with my polo top still on, the veggies were gone from the counter, and I could see him out on the patio putting up the umbrella. His shirt was off, and the sight of his muscular torso froze me to the spot beside the island.

To say he was in the best shape of his life was no lie. He was bulkier than I remembered, and certainly packing on more muscle. He had a patch of greying blonde hair still over his pecs which made him look even manlier than I could ever imagine. He had abs for his age, a nice four pack with the hints of two more almost defined. A fine line of that blonde hair ran down the centre of those abs, and disappeared under the waistband of his blue bathing suit – a bathing suit that was short, showing off two well defined thigh muscles that triangulated nicely over his kneecaps. He turned and a view of his bubbled ass in that suit made my cock twitch. He looked like a blonde, older version of Joe, if not as tall or as muscular, but certainly close enough. I would never see Joe as an older man, but if I had to, I would imagine him just like Mr. Campbell. And if I had had a father, this is exactly how I wanted him to look.

I watched Mr. Campbell fiddle with cushions and the lone umbrella he had set up beside two lounges as he wandered around the cement area of the pool after fidgeting with the deck items. The veggie tray was placed on the table just to the side of the lounges, in front of the pool. And the pool itself looked the same as it did when I was a kid, even though it looked smaller. But Mr. Campbell certainly didn’t look smaller.

I grabbed two more ciders from the fridge and took a deep breath before heading outside, hoping my suit wouldn’t tent too much and betray me. As soon as the door opened, he glanced back, his pecs danced as he flexed inadvertently, covering it up by rubbing his biceps with both hands and then waved me over.

“Just as you remembered I hope?” He said with a laugh.

I carefully stepped down the couple steps to the cement area around the pool and thought that it was nothing like I remembered, as my younger self didn’t get an erection around him before. Or did I? He took the cider from me and flicked his head to the pool.

“I brought a couple out too so now we have to drink them fast before they get warm. And get that shirt off and come on in.” He took a can and moved to the steps in the pool and walked right in, almost sideways turned away from me as if he was hiding his package. I know because I was purposefully trying to catch a glimpse of it. Instead, I had to settle for his exposed torso which was already giving me fuel for many a jerk off sessions to come when I was home alone in the very near future. His eyes looked up at me as he waded towards the side of the pool where I was and opened the can with a loud snap of the top. As he took a drink, I peeled off my light blue polo and tightened my chest, flexing my arms as I folded my shirt, hoping he was watching me.

He was watching me.

I turned around to give him a view of my jock butt, which by now I knew was something people were noticing. I picked out this bathing suit knowing how it made me look, hugging my ass nicely, a small 5” length to show off my upper thighs. I knew I got stares when I wore it, so I bent over to place my shirt on the table and looked behind me before I stood up.

He was still watching me, pretending not too, as he drank.

I tugged at my own shorts as I walked around to the wide white stair entrance that he had just entered as I heard him say, “Jesus Christ you’re ripped! Do you work out five hours a day?” He turned his back to the side wall and faced me, his upper half still dry, his pecs looking like two meaty mountains of muscle  under a very fine patch of short curly blonde hair, waiting to be licked in admiration.

I made a face and pointed at him. “Looks who talking Mr. Campbell.”

“Neil.” He said with a stern look. “Enough with the Mr. Campbell already. You can call me Neil.”

“Okay then…Neil.” It felt weird calling him that. He’s always been Mr. Campbell to me, and even now, as I waded towards him, I wasn’t sure Neil was the right thing to call him.

The second drink relaxed us both, and we started chatting about life for the last few years, what the girls were up to, what I was up to, avoiding any real talk about our ‘significant others’ until the third drink. I had hesitated when he got out of the pool for another can of cider, but he had said it was still early, and I’d have food in my belly before long to drown out the alcohol. Plus the way the water drenched his suit against his body made me dizzy, and I could see the hefty sized manhood between his legs before he pulled some air into his bathing suit. I watched the water drip down his legs and felt my own cock coming to life at the sight of this man. Mr. Campbell. Neil.

He was the first one to bring up his wife, leaning over the wall of the pool, those big massive arms laying on the cement, his blonde arm hair drying in the sun and blowing in the breeze. His back was a cascade of bumps of muscle, that I was so lost in staring at him I actually moved in closer as he brought her up, telling me how hard the first few months were, that they had been together since high school, that she was the only woman he’d ever slept with, and how lonely he was lately now that both girls had moved away. He was taking on as many shifts as he could at the fire station, and ignoring friends trying to set him up with this woman, or that woman.

“Truth is, I don’t want another woman. I haven’t been with another woman since she died.” He said, turning to look at me directly and waiting to see what I thought. I matched his stance, letting my arms rest on the cement deck and leaning my chin down as the sun beat down on us.

I found myself nodding but didn’t speak for a minute. Then he turned around and rested his elbows on the side and faced out, finishing his drink and putting the can to the other side before turning his head to me.

“How about you? You doing okay?” His eyebrows raised and he lowered himself in the water up to his neck and sort of floated a bit away from me.  

I hadn’t talked to anyone about my grief. Hadn’t really opened up. Just took off to Europe and buried my feelings into chance encounters. Even returning home, I was moving from one random hook up to another. I didn’t want to face a relationship. I didn’t want to get hurt again. I looked up at Mr. Campbell’s face, Neil’s face, and noted the way his chin was hovering near the surface of the water, the way his lips looked as they stayed shut to keep the water out just in case, and the way his light brown eyes looked up at me. The sun was behind him, making his hair seem blonder. I looked at the shape of his skull, and the size of his neck, the tanned skin, the freckles across his boulder like shoulders, and I took a deep breath in. Because what I really wanted WAS a relationship. I was lonely. I was searching and desperate and longing for someone. Someone like Joe. I needed someone to love me again.

He must have seen the look in my eyes because he just stood up in the water, the hair plastered against his skin making his muscles look even more defined, the water waist level to his flat bellybutton, as he lifted his arms up and moved towards me. “C’mere,” was all he said amidst the sound of water falling off him as he pulled me into his wet body, hugging me tightly.

I tried to hold the emotions in like I always did, but I felt myself shudder as my face touched his skin, connecting with his shoulder. I was crying in this man’s big arms which only made him hold me tighter. “It’s okay. I know how it feels.”

I wrapped my arms around his smooth back, hugging him back at last as I pushed my face into his chest, turning away and trying to stop myself. I felt his bathing suit against me, and our feet touched under the water as we stood there. My cock betrayed me though, and I tried to turn sideways from him, but he just squeezed me harder and let me harden against him. And I felt him pressing back, his cock in his suit against me. His chin rested on the top of my head as he held me. Was he oblivious to the fact that I was beginning to tent my bathing suit under the water, against his leg? He had to have felt it, he had to have known but he didn’t move. He didn’t move until I stopped shaking.

He waited a few more beats before he released me and took a step back, his hands moving to the side of my arms, and he squatted a bit in the water, so we were eye level. “It’s okay.” He said quietly as I tried to avert his gaze. But his big fingers went under my chin and he lifted it a bit, holding me gently between his thumb and forefinger, making me look into his brown eyes.

He lowered his own chin to his chest and looked up under his brows at me. We didn’t speak for a moment, just looked at each other.

“It’s okay.” He said again, and I saw his eyes look down, at my lips, and then back up to my eyes again. I followed suit for some reason, letting my eyes drift down his nose to his full lips and then back up to his eyes. He gave me a small nod, and a half smile, telling me with his eyes it was okay.

So, I leaned in quickly, without thinking, and found those lips with mine, kissing him harder than I anticipated. When he didn’t pull away, I kissed him differently, opening my lips and taking his into my mouth more, pulling on his bottom lip until I felt him open up and return the kiss. Our lips tested, pecking gently at first, until our mouths opened wider, and our tongues got involved, darting into each other, tasting, swallowing, and hands moved to necks, and breaths exhaled through our noses and our bodies moved together and water splashed around us, and my eyes closed to the sounds of heavy breathing and small exhalations of sounds as I made out with Mr. Campbell in his pool at last. With Neil.