A new view on masochism

CONVERSATION WITH MY SON

Freedom can move your life and it can be seen even in the hardest conditions, together with love and friendship, happiness and beauty. Have a look at the life of eight beggars who live together at: luces-delatierra.blogspot.com or in English at: lightsoftheearth.blogspot.com

It was inevitable that one day Nate had to discover his father’s secrets. I arrived home that afternoon fearing the conversation I should have now with my son, already 23. Nate Cartwright was a personal trainer who worked in his own fitness studio.

I’m Terence Cartwright, and I had my only son when I was only seventeen, so I’m 40 now. My wife died eleven years ago, but I’ve had a lot of sex since then and being a deep masochist, I often meet dominant girls who do what I want them to do and beat me hard. I had arrived home full of bruises so it was inevitable that Nate, who was quietly having a coffee in the kitchen after lunch, saw me now. In fact no sooner he saw me, he asked.

-Dad, what’s happened to you?

-It’s nothing, Nate.

-Nothing? It’s obvious somebody has beaten you, dad.

-A girl has beaten me and maybe she’s gone too far today. But well, I had asked her.

-Did you ask her?

-Well, hope you don’t mind if I tell you now some of my sexual secrets.

-I can understand anything, dad. So you choose if you wanna tell me.

-I’m sure since I’ve arrived home full of bruises, I’d better tell you. Well, Nate, your father’s a deep masochist. I love pain. I discovered it many years ago and I usually hook up dominant girls.

-Good dad, if you want, you can tell me anything.

-I think you’re open-minded and won’t get shocked if I tell you. You know ten years ago, I lost the phalanx of my left middle finger, and you know how it was, don’t you?

-Yes, dad, you were at the zoo and wanted to feed some animals and that’s what you were doing when a stupid giraffe suddenly ate your phalanx instead of the meal you wanted to give to that dumb animal.

-Yes, Nate, but what I never told anybody is that the pain of that bite unaccountably made me cream my pants. Can I tell you more?

-Of course, dad, whatever you wanna tell me, I will hear with all due respect.

-I started to suspect I liked pain and it was pain that I needed now. I was already widowed and you were still a baby when we spent a week at my parent’s house. You know it has a large stable and one day I decided to go there in the morning hours, cause I had seen some beautiful whips for the horses and they had given me an idea. So one night at about three, I went to the stables and was careful to lock the door first. Then I took everything off and decided to flog myself with one of those lashes. It is impossible to describe how the more I whipped my naked body, the more I was enjoying, increasing the intensity and I was also jerking myself off. You sure you’re comfortable hearing this, Nate?

-Totally comfortable, dad. I admire you for being that sincere with your son and I am moved that you consider me worthy of hearing you.

-It’s a relief for me to finally say this to someone, believe me, since so far I have told nobody.

-You can continue, dad.

-Well, I devoted every night of that week to whip myself strongly and I knew for sure that what I needed after that moment for my whole sexual life is pain. I’m a pain freak and since then I have met many dominant girls who often beat me. I love suffering.

-You love suffering, you say. Well, I think nobody really likes suffering. Think about this as an example, dad: well, imagine one day I have a car accident and it’s really serious. You don’t have to imagine I die, but imagine I must spend a couple of months in hospital and the situation is not clear. Would you enjoy that chance because you are a masochist?

-Of course not, Nate.

-So it’s not suffering that you want, dad. What you enjoy, remember what you’ve just told me, is cumming with a situation in which there is pain for you, isn’t it?

-It’s that, Nate. I like having sexual fun with pain.

-Dad, before you tell me anything else, let me say something to you that I have never dared tell you. Well dad, we are complementary, for I am a dominant bastard and I have beaten five or six masochistic girls, some of whom I meet in my job. But you know? Sometimes I wish I had been born gay.

-Why Nate?

-Because if it were boys that I beat, I wouldn’t feel sexist. Oh, I know the girls I have met desire to be beaten and I try to take them to their utmost sexual pleasure. But I cannot help it. I love beating. Well, dad, you’ve told me you like pain, what else?

-I think a masochist likes pain, that’s all, isn’t it?

-That’s what I’ve read almost everywhere, dad and in chats people generally agree that it is pain that masochist people need. But I think there’s much more than pain, and one day I found on a dictionary a different definition of masochism. I’ve memorized it, dad.

-And what does it say?

-It is this, dad: “the enjoyment of an activity or situation that most people would find very unpleasant”. You can see, dad, that the sentence starts with enjoyment. That does not mean suffering. There are many other things that a masochist person can “enjoy”, that most people would find unpleasant, but not them.

-What kind of things?

-Punishments, being ordered about, humiliations, insults. Then we have those I call the pig people. I’ve even met girls like that. I mean girls, boys too I suppose, who enjoy a strong smell of sweat. Or people who enjoy piss, shit and so on.

-Have you done any of those things? Of course you can speak quietly with me. I like talking to you about sadomasochism and notice you are not shocked.

-Since we are complementary, dad, we can speak about these things whenever you want. Well, I answer you. I have been sweaty for a couple of girls and have even played with piss. One of them even used to drink some of my streams and told me the taste of piss is arousing and even scrumptious, she told me. But I’ve never played with shit and I think I never will. That does not turn me on and I don’t wanna find myself disgusting for girls.

-No doubt with your new view on masochism, you have given me new ideas to enjoy more the rest of my sexual life. I must confess, oh hope you are not shocked now, that I’ve just creamed my pants. My own son’s words have enlightened me; they’re a new light for my future fun. It’s true I’ve often been ordered about, punished, humiliated or insulted but I considered those things a necessary foreplay for the beating afterwards, but I didn’t really enjoy them and after now I can. So you’re not only open-minded but arousing too. After now, whatever I do, I will tell you. I’ll call you my “counselor”, lol.

-Well, dad, do you wanna keep on talking about this?

-All you want, Nate; I’m glad we’re having this conversation.

-Since you like pain so much, dad, have you ever thought of the possibility of being beaten by a boy? We men are really brute.

-Sometimes I have thought how a man can beat you. No doubt the pain will be greater and I’d love it. I would think about it were it not that I’m not gay. I don’t think I can ever find a boy who wants to beat me and nothing more, no sex I mean –but I was conceiving a new idea.

-It can be sacrifice somehow. Well dad, I can make you any questions, can’t I?

-I’m glad we’re having this conversation, Nate. You’re really open-minded and now I know that we can talk about anything.

-So dad, imagine a boy ever tells you that he would really beat you hard but first you have to suck his cock, what would you do?

-I will not like it, but you’re right. Sucking a cock is no big deal, I suppose, and as you say, it’s a little sacrifice on my part and finally I can know how hard a boy can beat you, so I suppose I would do it. But Nate –I was getting increasingly nervous cause now I was determined to ask him-, you love beating; I love being beaten; and I trust you. What if your father ever asks you to beat him and nothing more?

-Dad, you know my Spanish friend Pablo. He usually says a lot of Spanish idioms. Once we were in a restaurant, for instance, and we were served by a waiter who was certainly ugly and Pablo said in Spanish: es más feo que pegarle a un padre, which translated means: he’s uglier than beating a father. I’ve retained the sentence, which he has said more often in other situations, so dad, don’t you think that beating you would be something really ugly?

-Not in the chance that both of us desire it, Nate. You like beating, so now I ask you, wouldn’t you beat a man? Think of a different man.

-A different man I would beat dad, but beating my own father?

-It won’t be abuse, Nate, if that’s worrying you. It’s your father that’s asking you. It would be funny for both, so nothing wrong.

-Let me think about it, dad.

-Do I have to suck your cock?

-Of course I would never ask you anything that can make you uncomfortable.

-If you were not my son, I would not think twice about it. But being my son, it would be more difficult.

-Dad, I repeat that you don’t have to suck my cock. I could beat you and nothing else; I just have to think about it. Just let me tell you that instead of being more difficult, it can be easier. I perceived when I told you my stupid example about my car accident that you really love me, dad. You were crying. Sucking my cock would be easier cause you would only be giving fun to the one you love most, that’s all. But even so, I don’t want you to ever do it, unless I can notice that even sucking your son’s cock can be something funny for you.

-I’m not saying that I won’t do it, Nate. Just as you have told me, I tell you now that I will think about it. You deserve it, my son. Your father’s even creamed his pants hearing your words. You get shocked at nothing, not even at the possibility of having some incest, if it’s funny for both and I really notice now that if I want some fun from you, you should also get some fun from me. I only want to ask you now: if I did suck your cock, would you beat me afterwards or would you still have to think about it?

-In that case, I would beat you dad. I cannot tell you I won’t if you have given me that fun previously.

-And you would really like to get a blowjob from your father, won’t you?

-Dad, think twice about it, please. I could never forgive myself if you hated me because my own stupid words have led you to do something you cannot stand.

-I’m going to the kitchen, Nate, and will have a coffee. I will be thinking about everything, but never worry. Just the same as you don’t get shocked at anything, I’m not shocked either. I will never hate you, on the contrary: the conversation we’ve just had only makes me love you more. You’re a wonderful boy, Nate Cartwright. I’m gonna have a coffee. See you soon and thanks for this conversation.

I was hard as I was preparing that coffee and I knew as soon as it was ready, I would simply masturbate there in the kitchen. I really needed it; my son’s words have been a new view on masochism that could make me really happy in the rest of my sexual life. And I wasn’t worried that Nate could suddenly enter the kitchen and surprised me jacking off in there. I was sure he would not get shocked even at that and he knew well I had already creamed my pants earlier in his presence.

Coffee was out. I took it to the kitchen table and started to drink but at the same time, I took my dick out, really hard then, and started to stroke it. First I really thought about the fun my son had made me see. It was true that I had often been beaten and prior to that I had been humiliated, insulted and ordered about. But so far I had considered those things only as part of the necessary foreplay of dominant girls before they beat me. Since I was sure I could meet more dominant girls in the future, now I’d try to enjoy everything, insults, humiliations and orders included. At the same time, I started thinking about what my son had told me of pig people and I even thought I would be capable to obey stinking girls and even if some things disgusted me, I went harder when I thought I could be shat or more by girls, but at least pissed, I was sure about it.

But what about sucking a boy’s cock so that he would beat me afterwards? Nate had even made me see that it would be fair. If I wanted to know how a boy beats, I had to give him some fun, and I would not be fucked, so far that notion frightened me; I would only have to suck his cock. Would it be so difficult? Not for a deep masochist like me. Even if I was not gay, I would be willing to give sexual fun to a boy prior to finally know what I wanted: how hard a boy can beat you. So there I was: I was still masturbating but now thinking that I was sucking a cock and the mere thought was making me on fire. I even thought I could lick a boy’s stinking body, maybe drink his piss or maybe even do piggier things with him. Unexpectedly when I was imagining myself having sex with a boy, I shot a first load in the kitchen. Now I really desired to finally imagine I was sucking Nate’s cock. At least I could wank over the thought.

After having cum twice that day, not only I was not tired, but I really desired to jack off again. And I started beating my meat thinking I was sucking Nate’s dick. I was not shocked; I knew it was incest, but with such an open-minded son, even that thought was permitted. I saw myself going to the living room now, where Nate was, and telling him I would suck his cock. Shit, I wanted to be beaten later but I wanted to give my son an unexpected fun that he could jack off to for life: his own father sucking his cock. I was sure that he deserved it: he was arousing as hell and it was surprising that my own son had excited me more than any girl before. I could even envision his surprised face when he saw his father getting into the living room to tell him that he would suck his cock, for he really wanted to do it. But I had to be very sure: it would be awful that I told him and started sucking his cock and later I might stop because I could be unsure or shocked. But I knew how much I loved my son and shit! Whether I liked it or not, I was a deep masochist and I would not stop. He had to cum in his father’s mouth. I had never tasted semen before, but hell! It was not shit or piss, was it? So I could drink that. And thinking I was drinking Nate’s jizz, I shot such an amount of semen that I was sure I had never shot such a lake.

I was still hard after so many cums; I really wanted to do it and I was gonna do it right now! I wanted him to see me hard but I kept my dick back in my pants and with a totally aroused face, I returned to the living room. My son was sitting on the couch and he looked worried but still hard. He even told me that maybe he should apologize if he had made me feel bad for what he had told me previously. But I answered him that he had made me so hard that day, that I had spent my time in the kitchen having a coffee and jacking off at the same time, so I added: don’t ever apologize for the words you told me that would make my sexual life more arousing after now. I told him how I had started wanking over his different concept of masochism and I had realized I would enjoy after now many things that so far I had been done but never enjoyed. I told him that I had started beating my meat at the possibility of blowing a boy. I had liked that masturbation in which I had even gone piggier with that imagined boy. And I had shot my first load in that moment.

And later and with no prejudice and no shock I had even wanked imagining I was sucking my son’s cock.

-So Nate, I won’t wait to another day or have any more doubts: I’m gonna suck your cock right here and now.

-Are you really sure, dad?

-Totally sure. I’ve never been so sure about anything. And I’m sure too that I won’t ever stop till you cum in my mouth. You’re a really arousing person, Nate and you and I are such good friends that I’m sure our friendship will never stop. You simply deserve this fun, for unconsciously you’ve already made me cum three times today. I sincerely entreat you to beat me later and please be a real brute; don’t forget I love pain and I am a deep masochist, so try to beat me hard everywhere.

-I’ll certainly beat you later dad. And I will try to be affectionate with you at the same time; you have to notice how I love you. I’ll try to somehow make it more beautiful than beating a father, when it is your own father that is asking you.

-It is really beautiful that you have finally made up your mind to do it. So previously your fun must come and don’t worry: see how hard I am, really desiring to give my son a wonderful birthday present. Come on, Nate, fear nothing and please take out your dick.

He pulled down his pants. I saw his cock for the first time in my life and got horny, sure that I would be now pleasantly working on it. But I also saw his beautiful balls and they gave me the idea that I should please them too. I’d start there. But first I said to Nate that I would whip my dick out too and would masturbate so he could notice my fun and never be worried. He told me of course dad, and when my dick was out, he congratulated me for the size of my cock and for being so hard and already whacking off. So finally and with no hesitation I rested my tongue on my son’s balls.

-I don’t know whether I simply love the taste or I am enjoying the fact that I am licking my wonderful son’s balls. But hell! How sweet this is, Nate; just let me a couple of minutes here and you can be sure I will suck your cock slowly, determined to give you one of the hottest experiences of your whole sexual life.

-Are you totally sure, dad?

-Nate, you told me before something like this: you would allow your father to do it if you could notice that it was funny for him –In that moment I started a secure journey up his cock and I can certainly say I was enjoying the taste. Why the hell had I never sucked a cock? It was really scrumptious! But I was glad my first cock was Nate’s. At the same time I masturbated ferociously, so my son could see he was granting me one of the hottest sexual experiences I’d ever had.

-Do you like it, dad?

-I love it. You can be sure I won’t stop now. This is funny for both, believe me, so since both of us are enjoying this sweet sexual experience, just let me go on –I also told him I needed to stop my masturbation a bit or I would cum and I wanted to cum when he shot his load in my mouth. Now I was really curious about the taste of semen.

The blowjob went on for minutes. I was sure no girl could have given him such a hot experience. And I was enjoying and was by now very certain so with total security, I told him.

-Before you cum in your father’s mouth, just let me add, Nate, for I’m sure nothing I can do in my sexual life after now can be more arousing and nothing can be sweeter, so I’m willing to give you after now as many blowjobs as you ask me. You can spend your whole life being satisfied by your father. I sincerely ask you to beat me later; as hard as you can, and for a long time, please. I want you to “torture” my whole body. But I am willing to suck your cock in return for nothing, Nate. Just ask me after now. No, don’t ask me. Remember I am a deep masochist, so you’d better order me. Just tell me: dad, suck my cock again, and I will do it again, even if you want five blowjobs a day. Remember, Nate, your masochistic father has discovered a whole new world of fun today and this way, both of us will live a totally horny life. I only expect that after now you order me to suck your cock constantly. It’s funny, sweet, arousing, we’re becoming closer friends and you really deserve it.

-Thanks, dad. Now I will certainly do what you want me to do, but first you have to drink my semen. If you really like it, tell me and I will certainly order you to give me more blowjobs. But I’m cumming now.

And I had the first chance then of drinking a substance I had never tasted, but the mere taste drove me crazy and as I was drinking, I had to finally cum, just when I had intended to cum.

-Thanks, Nate, for having just given me the best moment of my life and since neither you nor I get shocked at the fact that we are a father and a son having sex, please order me to do after now what I’ve told you. Your father will be totally happy if he could spend the rest of his life with your dick in my mouth.

-Thanks, dad, for having given me the best blowjob I’ve ever had. You cannot be sweeter and more open-minded. And since I have seen you really enjoying this, I will certainly order you more blowjobs. Just remember that if one day you tell me you don’t wanna do it anymore or simply tell me “I don’t wanna do it now”, you won’t have to do it. And now dad, do you really want me to beat you?

-Really Nate. Beat me strong and for a very long time, please.

-Then first take all your clothes off, dad.