A Star is Born

3rd September 2016

Dear Diary,

Last night I turned 20 years old. For a very long time, I had been celebrating my birthday just with family members but this time we did it differently because Maa decided it was time to make an appearance if I want to go in this line of work. My late father, Anirban Jayesh, was a very prominent figure in the Bollywood Film industry. Though short-lived, he has achieved what many actors are even not able to achieve even in their lifetime of working in this industry. And yes, I am the only son of that man.

Although after the death of Dad, we kind of cut off from the film industry but seeing so many people attend my birthday last night, I am very hopeful. There’s this one thing that bugged me. Mom was angry at Uncle Brijesh for coming uninvited. I don’t know why Maa didn't invite him in the first place. He had been a really good company when I was little. I know this is something to do with the death of Dad. But Dad died due to a heart stroke. It was a natural death. I tried to stop Maa from creating a scene but she was adamant and made Brijesh uncle leave. I could not ask her about that behavior last night. I will ask her this morning at breakfast. Though I am pretty sure she isn't going to tell me anything, like always. Bye for now.

Raghav closed his diary and went downstairs for breakfast. It was 07:30 am. He reached the kitchen and found his maid setting up the dinning table.

‘Where’s maa?’ he asked.

‘Chote sa'ab (as in young sir), she hasn’t come downstairs from her bedroom since this morning’

It was odd because his mom was an early riser. She would always bathe and say her prayers before a small place of worship set up in their house and help the maid with the kitchen.

Raghav went upstairs to check on her mom and found the door locked from inside. He pounded on the door.

‘Maa, are you okay?’

She replied, ‘I am fine. Just want to lie down’

He asked, ‘Shall I tell the maid to bring the breakfast to your bedroom?’

‘That won’t be necessary. I will come down later’

Raghav knew something was up. Sure his mother acted like this when she was sad or worried or feeling sick in the past but this time he felt, it was something do to with his birthday party. 

He went downstairs to have his breakfast.

It was 9 am and he was checking his social media accounts that’s when he heard a knock on his door.

‘Come in’

Their maid came inside and gave him something wrapped in a gift covering.

‘A delivery boy left it just now. He didn’t say who it was from but said you will know once you open it’

Raghav dismissed his maid and started to open the gift wrap. Inside he found a stylish envelope and behind it, was another gift wrapped. The envelope read 'Open it'

Inside there was a small but beautiful card that reads

Dear Raghu boy

I hope this finds you well. I am sorry about crashing your birthday party last night. I wouldn’t have come had I known I was unwelcome. 

Happy birthday.

Uncle Brijesh.

Raghav opened the other gift wrapped and inside he found a beautiful frame with a photo of him and Uncle Brijesh. He didn’t remember when they took that photo exactly but judging by their physical appearances, must be twelve years ago, back when his father was still alive. He immersed himself in a time when everything in his life was perfect. Dad and Uncle Brijesh used to be really good friends. He used to come to their house a lot. He wondered how they have come to this.

It was around 4 pm, and Raghav was working on his assignment. He was doing History honours from Apex University, Pune. He had already done A level Diploma in acting from Sahitya Acamedy of Arts in Pune about two years ago. His classes were mostly online and he had only been to his college once during his admission and a few other times to give his examinations. He was in his final years now. He suddenly realized he should thank Uncle Brijesh for the gift. It was so long he didn’t have his contact number. But he knew his house. It would be weird to go there but rude to not give back any reply. He thought about sending a letter of thank you note but that seemed inappropriate. He hadn’t seen his mom even during lunch time but the maid has said she had come for breakfast around 10 am. He decided to go over Brijesh’s house. He booked an Uber and started to get ready. In Mumbai, the roads are very crowded so it usually takes 10-15 minutes for Uber’s to reach your destination. The app showed 3 minutes left. He closed the door behind him and got downstairs. He said to his maid

‘Tell maa I am going out to see some friends. I will come back in two hours’

Just as he reached at his front gate, the Uber also arrived. He got inside and went towards Brijesh’s house.

After 45 minutes, he found himself standing outside the gate of his father’s old friend, Mr Brijesh Lalvani. His residence was a bungalow. Uncle Brijesh was a very big producer in the Bollywood film industry. It would be a lie to not admit our young Raghav was hoping for some assistance from him as he introduced himself to the watchmen at the gate.

‘I know Mr. Brijesh. Please tell him Raghav Jayesh is outside’

They called inside the house and after one minute, the gate opened and Raghav walked inside.

It took him around five minutes to reach the front entrance of the house from the front gate. The front door was wide open and he hesitated to go inside. Soon Uncle Brijesh came outside and hugged him in a warm embrace.

‘How are you my little Raghu?’ Brijesh asked.

‘I am fine, uncle. I have come to thank you for the lovely present you have sent for me’

‘Let’s go inside’

The inside of the house was even more lavish than from outside. Raghav felt a bit embarrassed by how well his uncle was doing considering his father and he were friends a long time ago.

He sat on a traditional-styled sofa adjacent to Brijesh.

‘So, did you like my gift?’

‘I did very much. Thank you for that’

‘Do you remember when that photo was taken?’ asked Brijesh.

Raghav hesitated to speak.

Brijesh said, ‘It’s ok. You were only 8 years old. It was during Deepawali. Your father had taken the photo’

Raghav smiled feeling a little shy.

‘I have to admit. I was quite upset you did not invite me on your birthday when half of the industry people were invited. Why?’

It was a difficult question to answer. But Raghav had to be honest about this or else he won’t buy it.

‘It was Maa who invited all those people. I did not even know most of them’

Brijesh said, ‘The people who were at your party last night, they were all producers and actors. Are you planning to go in the acting line?’

‘Ye-es uncle. Mom said it was a good idea to build connections before getting into the business’

‘Your mom is right. So, when are you planning to start working?’ he asked.

Raghav said,’ I am graduating next year in March 2017. So, after graduation probably’

‘hmm…have you ever acted before like in films or in commercials?’

‘No uncle. Although I got one offer for a Television commercial during my first year at the college but Mom made me refuse it’

‘Why?’ he asked.

‘According to mom, Bollywood films are run only by the new faces or the known ones. The audiences do not accept someone who has done commercials or tv serial actors as their hero in the films they are watching’

Brijesh smiled, 'That is very clever of her considering Nalini isn’t from the film industry’

Raghav smiled in response. They talked some more and then Raghav left his house.

May, 2017.

Dear Diary,

Finally, I got a call from my agent and he said I got an audition for the role of ‘a son’ in the movie. It will be huge if I get this part as the actor who will be playing the role of father is Mahesh Jaiswal. Even at the age of 50, he is still going strong with movies. Wish me luck.

18th May, 2017

Dear Diary,

My first audition and I failed. Can you believe what the director said said? According to him, I would not fit to be Mahesh Jaiswal’s son in the movie. I know I don’t exactly look like a typical Indian boy since my mother is half Portuguese. Her ancestors had come to India for trade probably from the sea route Vasco Da Gama had found in 1498 and settled down and became Indian once the Britishers left. That along with Dad's fair complexion, I don't look like a local. But it would have worked out if they cast a foreigner or similar-looking type as the wife of the hero in the movie. Anyways, it’s their loss.

3rd October 2017.

Dear Diary,

I didn’t get the part. This was my ninth rejection so far. Every time they comment on my physical appearance. I am starting to feel they are insecure about my looks and that I am better looking than most of the young actors playing the role or heroes in the films now.

Raghav was starting to lose hope. His mom had wanted him to not go in the acting line but he had insisted on taking up acting as his career. He felt he was far too good-looking to be working behind a computer screen, sharing cubicles with fifty others in a dry hot summer. The acting was in his blood. And he was good at it. He had one final audition for the role of the main protagonist. He was very certain he would not get this role since he could not even get the part of supporting characters in the past. But it was the last role for this year so he decided to give it a try.

4th November 2017

Dear Diary,

I haven’t prepared much. I already know I am not going to get this part so why should I over-work myself again? I had slept early and woke up late this morning. It’s 8:30 am right now and the audition starts at 10 am. I will reach there exactly at 10 am. Not a minute earlier. It's quite exciting to be this rebellious. Haha.

As decided, Raghav reached the director’s office at 10 am. He thought he will have to wait for his turn but he was surprised to see very few people. There were only five candidates including him. He was called at the second. He got inside with his portfolio in his hands.

‘May I come in, sir’

An old man was sitting across from him. He seemed to be 5’9’’, a little overweight, and dark-skinned. He was wearing a speck with threads hanging from it’s frame.

‘Please sit’ he said.

They shook hands. 

'My name is Raghav Jayesh’

‘Manish. I will be directing this movie’

They both settled down from across each other and Raghav kept his portfolio on the table.

‘You are Anirban Jayesh’s son right?’ he asked.

‘Yes, sir’ replied Raghav.

‘Is this your first audition?’

‘No sir. My tenth to be honest’

‘Have you acted before?’

‘In plays but not anything on the outside’

‘Why do you want to be an actor?’

‘Acting is my passion, sir. I have always loved films from a very young age. And I know I have the requirements to be a good actor’

‘In your resume, you mentioned you have done an A level Diploma in acting from Sahitya Academy. So, I assume you do have the theoretical knowledge of how films are made?’

‘Yes sir. I am aware of the fact that acting is not easy work. Sometimes actors have to avoid certain food or eat certain types of food to fit in their characters. Or they have to remain awake long hours at night for night shoot’

The director regarded this and he asked Raghav to play a part from the script in front of him. 

He acted the part to his best. When it was over, the director clapped and motioned for him to sit. Once settled down, the director said, ‘Mr Raghav, I am impressed. You are really one of the most gifted people I have auditioned so far. You can play the part of the hero in this movie’

Raghav could not believe what he was hearing. After so many rejections, to finally land a role he thought he would not in the first place, he had no words to describe. He jumped from his seat and reached for the director’s hands and kissed them.

‘Thank you, thank you, thank you so much, sir’

The director waited for him to come out of his bubble and then said, 'But I do have one condition’

Raghav looked at the director in confusion.

‘You see. The budget for this movie is 35 Crores (as in $4.2 million). I have found the producers but they are willing to pay only 25 crores ($3 million). We need 10 crores more. So, if you can bring 10 crores ($ 1.2 million) into this movie, the role is yours’

Raghav felt his hope diminishing.

‘Bu-but sir, I do not have that much amount of money with me. You know it was eleven years ago when my father died. My Mother also doesn’t work. I cannot arrange such a big amount’

The director replied, ‘I know that it is a big amount but your father was a very prominent figure. I am sure if you reach out to some producers or even big figures outside the film industry, they might invest in your first film’

‘There’s no one, sir. We hadn’t been keeping in touch with the film industry for a long time’

The director told him to think about it.

‘Contact me by Saturday. Otherwise, I will have to look for someone else’

At home, he talked to his mother about this. His mother said she could arrange for 2 crores ($ 250,000) at most that too after keeping their house at the mortgage. He didn’t want that. He did not know what to do. He thought about giving it up, the role but after so many rejections, he knew he would not get a part like this anywhere in the near future. He stayed awake late that night thinking about what to do.

6th November 2017

Dear Diary,

Tomorrow is Saturday and I haven’t been able to manage the sum. After asking so many people, only two people have agreed to invest in me. Mr. Vajyani and Ms. Sayukti who attended my birthday last year, agreed to invest one and two crores respectively but I still need five more crores. I am running out of time. 

At 01:20 pm, Raghav received a text from an unknown number

‘Hi Raghav,

Our producers said they would like to meet you. Come to the Hotel Rajamal at 5 pm sharp. I will meet you in the reception.

-Mahesh.

6th November 2017

Dear Diary

I am worried but at the same time hopeful. The director has texted me and said the producers want to meet me in person. Well, it is their right to meet the main cast as they are investing a lot of money in this film but what if they disapprove of me? Also, there’s this problem of shortage of the amount. But something tells me, I will either get this role or not will be decided at this meeting in the evening.

At 5 pm, Raghav reached the hotel Rajamal. He was dressed in navy blue striped pants and a sky blue colored polo neck t-shirt. He entered from the main entrance and immediately saw Mr. Mahesh as he stood up as if he had been waiting for him watching at the door.

‘Hi, sir’ said Raghav as they shook their hands again.

'I haven't been able to manage the full amount' said Raghav.

'That may not be necessary' said Mahesh motioning for him to follow him.

The director went towards the elevator and Raghav followed. They climbed to the 10th floor. Got out of the elevator, walked in the corridor for a while, and stopped at the door. Mahesh knocked on the door and an old man possibly in his fifties opened the door. He was a little chubby with mostly bald except for few region above his ears and behind his head being covered with partially gray hair. He was holding a glass of scotch in his one hand and holding the door from another.

‘Oh, Mr Mahesh. Please come in’

The director and Raghav went inside the king suite. Raghav saw inside there were two more gentlemen seated on the sofa. 

They both sat down and soon the door opener came back after shutting the door.

The director introduced them, ‘This is Mr Oswal. You must have heard about his Oswal spices’ 

Raghav looked at the old man who was dark skinned, shoulder length hair with a circle beard that was also mostly gray than white just like his hair.

‘Nice to meet you, Mr Oswal’ said Raghav.

‘This is Mr. Aarav Trivedi’ Raghav acknowledged the door opener.

‘And this is Mr. Anees Kumar. He works in finance’ Raghav noticed that Mr. Anees was the youngest of them all. He was probably in his early forties or late thirties.

‘They are the producers of this film’ said the director.

For one hour they got busy discussing the film. Finally, at 6:30 pm, the director put the question about the budget of the film,  ‘Gentlemen, Mr Raghav has not been able to manage the full amount’

Raghav felt his back stiffen and his face redden with embarrassment. Mr. Anees said, ‘How much have gathered so far, Mr. Raghav?’

‘So far I have collected 5 crores, sir. Of which 2 crores are my own and 1 crore from Mr Vayani and 2 crores from Ms Sayukti‘

Mr. Aarav Trivedi asked, ‘Have you contacted everybody you could?’

‘Yes, sir. I have even tried to apply for a loan but the bank can’t sanction more than 50 lakhs ($ 60,000)’

‘Then how are we going to proceed’ asked Anees.

Raghav said, ’I was wondering if you would be so kind to increase your investment in the film. I am ready to decrease my share in the profit’

‘If it makes’ said Mr. Aarav.

They all sat there in silence. In all this, Mr. Oswal has not said a single word until then.

‘Mr. Mahesh, thank you for your time. We will discuss this with your young hero here.’

Mahesh got up hesitatingly. He said his byes to everybody and then started for the door. He looked back again and found a pair of innocent eyes of Raghav looking at him. He moved his eyes around and found three pairs of more eyes looking at the young fellow. He got out and closed the door behind him. He sighed as he walked away.

Inside ‘So, Mr. Raghav’ said Anees, ‘we have decided to finance the entire film but we have our conditions’

Raghav asked slowly, ‘What are the terms?’

Mr. Trivedi said, ‘We would want you to get intimate with us. In return, we will finance the entire movie and you won’t have to invest any amount’

Raghav has heard rumours about casting coaches but he never thought they were real until now. He chose his next words very carefully,

‘I am sorry, sir but I am not like that’

‘Common man’ said Anees. ‘don’t tell me you have never heard about this before. This is very common in this industry’

‘I need to leave’ said Raghav and got up. He was in a fit of getting hysterical.

Aarav walked up to him. ‘Hey, Hey. Don’t get upset’ he put both his hands on Raghav’s shoulder and made him sit down along with him. He tried to calm him down and it worked in a way.

‘Now take a deep breath’ he said to Raghav. While Raghav was carrying out inhaling and exhaling, Aarav continued, ‘Now listen to me very carefully. We would never force you. If you don’t like it, we will not do it’

‘I know I won’t like it’ cried Raghav. ‘I am not gay’

Trivedi laughed at this and said in a jolly way ‘Having sex with men doesn’t make you gay. It is more common than you think’

Raghav focused on his breathing though he was calm already. Trivedi looked up to both his colleagues and although Mr. Oswal was just watching them with curious eyes, Anees gave a nod.

The old man embraced Raghav by taking him under his left arm and said, ‘This is very common in this industry. So many actors and actresses have done it in the past. I cannot tell you their names but most of them are very successful now. Once u become big, you won’t have to ask for favors from producers to buy your part in the movie’

Raghav was still crying but he spoke up, ‘Let me go home. I will ask my mom if she could arrange the full amount’

‘If you walk out of here, the deal is over’ said Mr. Oswal. Raghav didn’t like this man. If not for his helpless situation, he would not even be in the same room as his. 

Mr Aarav said, ‘Okay, here’s this deal. I will kiss you now. It will be just a test to show you that sex with women or men, aren’t that different’

‘No, please’ said Raghav but he was already submitting to the situation. The old man made Raghav face him and slowly brought his lips onto his and started kissing them, slowly. He didn’t use his tongue, just kissed Raghav, sucking lightly on his lips. Raghav remained still. He didn’t kiss him back and was contemplating in his head if it was disgusting or not. He found it wasn’t bad but wasn’t feeling good either. It felt…wrong. Just wrong.

Aarav broke their kiss after a minute and looked at Raghav for his opinion. When Raghav said nothing he spoke up, ‘It wasn’t that different than kissing a girl, was it?’

‘I have never kissed a girl before’ said Raghav in a small voice.

The old man was shocked to hear this. He looked back at his colleagues and even Mr. Oswal who was leaning back on his seat casually was now leaning forward towards them.

‘Is that bad?’ asked Raghav.

‘No. No, not at all’ said Aarav, ‘It’s just that we assumed you…How old are you?’

‘I am 21’

‘And you never been with anybody? No sex, kisses?’

‘No sir’ replied Raghav. ‘I was mostly homeschooled. I was too young when I got my Diploma in acting and later in the college, it was through online classes most of the time. Never got any chance to develop relationships with people’

‘Well, Mr. Raghav, I think it is for good that you are inexperienced. We can teach you’

Raghav sat there in silence.

‘Go get the papers’ said Mr. Oswal. Anees got up and left the room. After two minutes he came back holding a file cover in his hands. He opened the file cover and took out some pieces of papers. He kept them in front of Raghav. ‘This one is the contract where you will be agreeing to have consensual physical relationships with the three of us until the end of the shooting. And once you sign this, this one is the agreement where we are accepting you for the role of the main protagonist in our film'. Mr Aarav moved to his side away from him and let Raghav read those terms and conditions. He realised he cannot just sign them whether sex was involved or not.

‘I have to let someone go through with these before I sign them’

Mr. Aarav laughed again as if Raghav had said a joke. ‘My dear Mr. Raghav. If you let your agent or a lawyer review this, what will they think? This agreement here is just a way for both the parties to keep their side of the bargain’

‘But here it says if I breach this contract, I am liable to pay 2 crores to each one of you’

‘Only in the breach of contract. That rarely happens. We are just asking you to spend some time with us. That’s all. Once the shooting is over, you don’t have to continue. Although we could help you with your next movie, if we are satisfied with your performance’

Raghav said, ‘You will give me another film if I do this?’

‘No’ replied Anees, ‘We are offering you just this one film for this agreement. A new agreement will be made in future if we are satisfied with your performance’

Raghav went through the contract again. The contract was very vaguely written and he knew he would not be able to challenge this in court so he better clarify all the doubts he had now.

‘How many times are we talking here and how often?’

‘Not much. We do not want our hero to lose his focus on the film. Just starting tonight and on a few occasions in between shooting’

‘And I can always tell you to stop right?’ asked Raghav.

‘Well, it is hard to stop in between sex but yeah, we can always stop if you don’t feel well’

Raghav finally signed the contracts after reading them one last time. They all signed their respective contracts. For the three producers, they were agreeing to not cause any permanent or life-threatening things to Raghav, keep this a secret and any leakage of information will be liable for them to pay a sum of not less than 5 Crores to him.

Raghav kept one copy of his agreement with himself and three other’s from the three producers. He then signed the agreement for the film and kept one copy with himself. Once all the things were said and done, they all sat there at the table and Mr Aarav said, ‘With whom would you like to go first?’

After some thinking, Raghav replied, ‘With Mr Anees’

Anees smiled but the old man spoke up, ‘I am hurt. The whole night I have been by your side. I thought you will choose me first’

Raghav couldn’t tell him that he was getting a fatherly aura from him. And with Mr. Oswal, he simply didn’t like the old man. Anees was the youngest of them all and he looked handsome also, compared to the other two. Anees seemed fit, with light brown skin and short hair. Probably 5’11.

‘I say, let’s dance first’ said Anees and he got up to play some music. Meanwhile, Aarav Trivedi handed Raghav a glass of scotch. He accepted it although he doesn’t like the taste. He chugged it down in one gulp. Anees approached him and made him stand up with him and start to dance. Anees was dancing but Raghav just tried to keep up with him by moving his body. Aarav joined them and the three men were dancing while Mr. Oswal just kept eyeing the three of them. Anees kissed Raghav and before he could do anything, Aarav's body came on his back. He was sandwiched between the two. Raghav also kissed back Anees this time. Behind him, Aarav has started to suck on his neck. He pulled down the collar of his polo T-shirt and showered kisses and sucked on them. They kept on going like this for five minutes then Mr. Trivedi made them break their kiss and turned Raghav towards him. He kissed Raghav. At first, Raghav didn’t kiss him back. He was a little tired from kissing Anees but when Trivedi patted his right cheek twice, he understood and kissed him back. He didn’t like what Mr. Trivedi just did but decided to ignore it. Meanwhile, Anees kept grinding his erect tool behind his ass. After a few minutes, Raghav realised Mr. Trivedi was playing with his nipples. He was shocked to find his upper body was bare and he was standing there just in his underwear. His pants were below his feet. He broke the kiss and looked down at where Anees was trying to lift his left leg to remove his pants. Trivedi made Raghav face him back and kissed him again. Raghav didn’t like where it was going but he was helpless to stop it now. Not after that agreement. His mind was also becoming foggy from the drink he had earlier. Raghav felt Anees’s body behind him again. Anees was also bare chested and he was sucking on his shoulders. Slowly, Anees’s right hand went below Raghav’s body and got inside his underwear. His hand went further inside and started to play with Raghav’s butt cheeks. By this time, Trivedi was kissing Raghav on his neck. Raghav looked ahead and a shiver ran through his body. Mr. Oswal who had been expressionless and mute most of the time was watching him with lustful eyes. He moved his eyes to his side but felt the old man's eyes on him. 

Anees pulled down Raghav’s underwear below his knees. lifted his one leg and it was out. He got down, parted his cheeks, and put his tongue at the sweet hole of Raghav. 

A shaky breath escaped Raghav. He tried to stand straight Anees had his ass cheeks parted in a firm grip and Trivedi put his mouth back to his. He patted Raghav's cheek again but this time a little harshly. Raghav kissed him back. It was one thing to agree to do this and another to actually be doing it. And he didn’t anticipate his asshole will be licked like that. He gasped in the mouth of Trivedi when Anees's tongue entered his hole.

Suddenly Mr. Oswal got up and walked up to them. He took Raghav’s right hand and dragged him away from the other two.

‘Hey’ cried Anees. ‘He chose me first’

Mr. Oswal turned back slowly and looked at him with cold eyes. His eyes said everything and Anees didn't say anything more. Mr. Oscal turned back, his hand still holding Raghav’s right hand in a firm grip, he dragged him inside the bedroom and closed the door behind them.

Once they disappeared, Trivedi said to Anees, ‘You are a fool if you thought you were going before Mr. Oswal. He is financing 70% of the film’s budget. And the only reason he agreed to invest in this film is so that he could have his hands on Anirban Jayesh's son’

Anees said, ‘I thought he would have gotten over that by now. It was a long time ago' 

Trivedi said, ‘You never forget the man who had sent you to prison’