ABCs of Sex- A: Awakening

A: Awakening

I’m not afraid to admit I’m a loser. You know that quiet kid that sits in the back of the classroom and aces all of the tests but doesn’t talk to anyone? Yeah, that’s exactly who I am. I’m a twenty-two year old that can’t drive. I’ve never had so much as a sip of alcohol or done any experimenting with drugs. And…I’ve never had a sexual experience. Not even any risqué flirting or teasing. That last one is the most some people need to reject me from the so-called “in-crowd”. Like I said, I’m not afraid to admit I’m a loser, but for some reason, being a virgin really bothers me. I know that it’s not the most practical thing to concern myself with, but I can’t stop feeling a strong desire for sex. It’s like my body is craving it beyond my control.

* * *

It was a cold winter night. I was walking around the fairground, bored out of my mind. I knew I should go out, it being a Saturday and all, and I knew the carnival was in town, so I figured it would be entertaining enough for at least one night, even with no company. Oh how wrong I was. Most of the rides looked and sounded like absolute death traps, while the game booths were overpriced with cheap looking prizes. So, a normal carnival then, but I remembered being able to find the fun at places like that before. Perhaps it was just because I was younger.

I kicked a rock absentmindedly. As it flew, though, I heard a metallic clink. I looked up to see that the projectile I launched had hit a sign, behind which a small tent stood. The sign read “Step inside and have your wildest dreams come true! Free!” Initially, the sign was not of much note to me; it looked like a tent with a psychic inside and the promise on the sign made me think of those manifestation posts on Twitter. I quickly reversed my thinking, remembering how bored I was and that I had nothing else to. Shrugging to myself, I entered the tent.

As I did so, I quickly noticed that the structure was larger than it seemed on the outside. Perhaps it was the angle I was looking from. The tent inside was midnight blue. It contained only a small table with two black chairs opposite each other. The table held the only light source, a glowing crystal ball. I sighed; I knew it had to be a psychic. Plus, there didn’t seem to be anyone else in the tent, so I turned on my heel and went to leave. Just as I did, a figure came into view.

“Gah!” I screamed at the sudden appearance. Recovering, I said, “Oh, sorry, I didn’t hear you come in. Uhh, sorry, it doesn’t look like the person running this tent is here.”

The figure, looking almost shapeless in the low light, heaved. “I am he who, as you say, ‘runs this tent’,” he said in a low, booming voice. “Sit. We have things to discuss.”

I didn’t know why, but the entity filled me with dread. I sat at the nearer chair, fearing he may do something if I didn’t follow his orders. He took the other chair, but didn’t utter so much as a sound. Now that we were nearer to the crystal ball, I could make out more of him, but barely so. He was dressed from head to toe in a black cloak. In the place where his face would usually peek through the opening in the cloak, I could only see a sleek black mask. I wondered why he was so keen to hide himself and why in such a getup, but didn’t voice my concern.

I decided to be the first to speak. “So…are you a fortune teller?”

“Of sorts,” he said. “You read the sign outside of this domain, no?”

“Umm…yes, I did.”

“That is precisely what I do. I find your deepest desire and I grant it.”

Still confused, I said, “And…that makes you a fortune teller…how?”

“Do you not see child?” he said, almost sounding angry. “I am he who bends fate. I take whatever your future may hold and mold it to fit you desires. That is the fortune I tell.” I was about to speak again, but he preempted me by saying, “Enough talk. Let us begin. Place your hands on the crystal in front of you.”

Still wary of the entity, perhaps even more so after the mysterious things he said, I obeyed. In turn, he put his hands, also covered in black, on the other side of the ball.

“Now, I will search the recesses of your mind for your truest desire.”

I don’t know if it was just my imagination, but I swore I could feel an odd, warm sensation in my mind. It seemed to be moving around. However, at the time, nothing about the feeling

seemed strange to me. It was as if I’d felt such a thing a thousand times before.

“Oh,” he said suddenly. It wasn’t in surprise, more in consideration.

Despite his tone, I found myself wondering what he could possibly be thinking. “What is it?” I said trepidatiously.

“Silence!” he bellowed. “You must remain quiet for me to attend to my work.” The feeling in my head grew more intense. It made my ears ring and heart beat quicker. My head began pounding and I closed my eyes in pain. “Mmm…” the entity said quietly. Just as the strange sensation was reaching a fever pitch, it stopped altogether. I looked up to see that he had taken his hands off of the ball. “You may remove your hands,” he told me.

I did so quickly. “So…what did you see?”

“Your greatest desire…is,” he momentarily paused before saying, “sex.”

“Wh-what!?”

“Not just sex. You desire another man to control you completely. To do whatever he says.”

“I-I-I…” I spluttered.

“It seems you are rather lewd deep down.” I felt attacked, as if he was accusing me of something.

“That can’t be true!” I stood up and gripped the table in anger “I mean, yeah, I want to have sex, but that can’t be my greatest desire!”

“Sit!” He commanded and I heeded. “Listen and listen well boy: I do not make errors. What I see is the truest form of longing, no facade to hide behind and nothing to cloud it. It was clear as day when I looked in your mind. Sex. That is what you desire most.”

I slumped somewhat. “I…don’t know what to think about this.”

“It matters not what you think. Now comes the time for me bend your fate,” he said sternly.

Panicked, I responded, “W-wait, I don’t want my future to just be about sex!”

“It is too late. You entered my domain and I began the process of molding your future. There is no recourse now. I will finish what I have started.”

“No, please, no! Just let me leave here! There’s so much I want to do with my life that doesn’t have to do with sex!” The thought of simply running away never occurred to me; I just sat and pathetically begged.

He uttered no response to my pleas, instead getting up and making the short walk to me. He stood in front of me and, though I couldn’t see his face, I knew he was looking at me. “Stand,” he said firmly.

“What will you…d-do to me…?”

“Stand!” he ordered.

On shaky legs, I did stand. I felt like I might collapse. Without warning, he grabbed both of my shoulders and pushed me down. I caught myself on the table, positioned such that I was staring at the crystal ball. He moved one hand to hold my neck so I couldn’t turn my head. I tried to fight back, but I was just a scrawny weakling while he felt impossibly strong.

“Look into the ball and listen to my voice.” He said slowly.

“Wh-what?”

“Look into the ball and listen to my voice.” He repeated.

“What does that mean? Why are you doing this?”