312 Park Lane

Prologue

The neighborhood was coming into being with new houses under construction and families moving into those finished. On Magnolia a bungalow and a couple of Tudor Revivals were under construction. One street over, on Maple Avenue, there were two more bungalows, three American Foursquare and one Dutch Colonial with its gambrel roof in various states of construction. On Park Lane, there was a Mediterranean style home with white stucco walls being finished and across the street, at 312 Park Lane, there was an American Foursquare being framed. It was the same on all the streets, except for Bay Avenue and Meadow Lane for they were the first streets, the first to have houses under construction, and thus the first with cars in the drives and children playing in the yards. 

The house at 312 Park Lane was finished in March of that year, 1924. It was painted a light gray with black trim, contrasting with its red brick foundation walls that lifted the first floor over three feet above the grade.  A wrap around porch ran across the front and down the left side to the sitting room and another was off the kitchen in the back. It had a formal foyer with the stair to the second floor and double doors leading to the living room. The foyer led to a hall that extended all the way to the kitchen at the back of the house and double doors to the dining room that sat between the living room and kitchen. On the left side of the hall, behind the foyer, the small sitting room then a bathroom and bedroom. Up stairs there were large bedrooms over the living and dining rooms below, two more bedrooms on the left, with a bath that served the whole floor. In back over the kitchen was a small sitting room and a sleeping porch over the first-floor porch. It was a large house, one of many in the new neighborhood. 

Over the next three years, empty lots became homes and the streets busy with Oakland 6’s, Model T’s and other cars that gave mobility to the new neighborhoods. Bicycles rode the new sidewalks and mothers pushed strollers with newborns, increasing the neighborhood’s population even more. The neighborhood prospered with new roads added to its north side adding more homes. It was a scene playing out across the country, in cities large and small, and towns supported by industry.

Then the stock market crashed, and the Great Depression settled over the land. Houses were lost to bankruptcy and families moved back to hometowns to live with parents, a house meant for two generations now housing three or more. And 312 Park Lane sat empty, deteriorating slowly. The paint peeled, windows were knocked out and pipes rusted. Then it was bought in 1938 for less than it cost to build and slowly, over the next few years it was repaired. Another World War and time seemed to freeze, every day a horror, and the house sat partially refurbished, enough for the family to live in it, as they waited eagerly for news about the husband and oldest son.

After the war, the house changed hands again, and a serious renovation was undertaken, updating the kitchen, turning the upstairs sitting room into a laundry and making repairs that had been put off for far too long. A garage was constructed in back and the landscaping replaced to get rid of overgrown shrubs. For three decades the house prospered with its owners with more renovations and new paint schemes, while children had children of their own and came for visits during the holidays. 

In the seventies, the country in another economic crises, the house was abandoned again, left to sit idle as protesters marched on the college campus nearby and families moved to more affordable neighborhoods with houses more efficient. Within the next ten years the old neighborhood changed, became more rental property than family owned. Large houses were divided into two or more units. Wood stairs were added to exteriors to separate the second floor from the first and yards became parking areas for the multiple residents. The residents were poorer, struggling with jobs that didn’t pay enough to escape their lot in life, and mixed in with them were college students who spent all they had on tuition and textbooks, thus scrimping on food and clothing, and spending as little as possible on rent. 

The house at 312 Park Lane escaped the worst offensives; the exterior stairs and paving of yards for parking, instead letting the residents park in the rear yard where grass and weeds struggled to survive by the constant traffic. But it was changed into multiple living units for students. The living and sitting room changed to living units. The dining room was maintained as a common dining and television room since it was next to the old kitchen available to all the residents. The bedrooms were rental units and all seven units shared the two bathrooms, one on the first floor and one on the second. The laundry room had a coin operated washer and dryer installed, another source of income for the owner, thus another expense to the students. 

For the next few decades, the house existed. Repairs were always too late and never adequate, and the exterior was painted white, the cheapest paint the owner could buy. The central heating system was removed, leaving diffusers open while inefficient base board heaters were installed. Air conditioning in the warmer months would be up to the students to deal with by putting in small window units that took away precious window area. But it existed for the poor students who couldn’t afford dorm rooms or the better apartments near campus. A place of late-night studying by young men and women desperate for a better life.

Fall Semester 2019

The old Chevy truck eased through town, almost timid in its movement, ready to flee at a moment’s notice. It drove by the campus then cut through town, past coffee shops, restaurants, bars and souvenir shops, all busy with students and those who worked at the college. On the edge of downtown, it eased past apartments, five stories high or higher, towering over the narrow streets. Then there were the residential neighborhoods, the first houses small, quaint old homes that had been updated numerous times over the years, then into neighborhoods of newer and newer homes. The truck cut off the main road and eased back to the north side of town into another old neighborhood, one left to age cruelly, with its flaws evident from the street. Those with students stood out from the others not by being in better shape but by the college memorabilia that hung in windows or by the way porches were more active with students playing musical instruments or games of tag on the front lawns.

The truck turned on Park Lane and eased to a stop in front of 312. The passenger door swung open and a young guy climbed down, tugging a duffle bag and backpack after him.

“Thanks Uncle Robert” said Nicholas as he slung the backpack over his shoulder.

“Nicholas, you’re welcome. I just wish that brother of mine understood how important this is for you.”

Nicholas never knew how to criticize his father, no matter how wrong. And he knew his father had never been so wrong as to tell him driving a truck was good enough for him, it should be good enough Nicholas. But Nicholas had other plans, other dreams he wanted to pursue, and he wasn’t going to let his fears and anxieties stop him. He had a scholarship that covered tuition and books but not living expenses, so he had to scrimp and save from working part time during school then every hour he could get over the summer. Standing by his Uncle’s truck, the only family that encouraged him to pursue his dream, he felt like he had made the first step. That first big step after more applications than he could count for scholarships, the struggle to find a place to live and then just getting what he needed to start classes. A laptop Uncle Robert helped him buy and a few clothes he bought at the consignment shop in Bedford. Hand on the door, he leaned in and searched for the right words to say to his Uncle.

“Uncle Robert, I…”

“I know. We’re good. And call me if you need anything.”

“Thanks.”

“And let me know when you are ready to come home…a weekend, or Thanksgiving…or Christmas.”

“Okay” Nicholas replied, both knowing the chances of him going home until next summer were slim. He had a job on campus at the greenhouses for the Horticulture Department and it was one that allowed him to work as much as he could, even during breaks.

“Yeah…well, study hard and don’t party too hard” Uncle Robert replied smiling at Nicholas trying to lighten the mood. “And don’t forget to grab your bike out of the back.”

“I will… I mean no I won’t…I’ll…”

“Nicholas! Make the best of it, okay?”

“Yes, sir” Nicholas replied, closing the door.  He grabbed up his old bike, a mountain bike he found at one of the pawn shops back home. He set it on the ground and lifted the duffle bag. He watched as his Uncle pulled away, down the street to the next intersection, turned right and was gone, leaving him standing in front of 312 Park Lane, his new home for the next four years.

Up the old brick steps and across the porch, Nicholas took out his key to unlock the front door. He dropped the duffle bag and reached for the door when it suddenly swung in.

“Oh” Nicholas exclaimed, coming face to face with a guy dressed in a tank top and running shorts, carrying a mountain bike.

“Hey, you must be Nick?”

“Nicho…Nick, yes. I’m in room four.”

“Tyler, I’m in one, the room right here” Tyler replied nodding his head toward the double doors to the right. “You’re upstairs in the room directly over me.”

“Thanks.”

“Well, come on in and get settled. Most of the others are here, all except Emily, but she likes to wait to the last minute to show up. I’m going for a ride and will catch ya later.”

Nicholas watched Tyler descend the steps, set the bike down and climb over it. He watched the tall muscular body flex and move on the bike, the calves tighten, and Tyler ride off, hopping the curb and pedal out into the street. Nicholas had those thoughts he had fought for four years to control, to not let surface, afraid if they did, he’d wreck everything. Somehow it was the last obstacle in the pursuit of his dream, the one that would undo everything. But he had stood in the doorway and watched. Watched the guy named Tyler, who would be living below him, ride away in flexing muscle and smooth skin and black hair and eyes he knew to be dark brown.

Nicholas closed the door, leaning against it wondering how he was going to do it. The pretending and denials seemed so foolish now, but old fears were hard to let go. He Looked up the stair that wound around and out of sight, then down the hall that led to the kitchen in back. He wondered if he should go around and introduce himself first, let the others know he was in the house, or if he should go on to his room and get his few belongings put away. He knew the management had worked with him to take delivery of a few items he had shipped. He could hear a television playing from down the hall but there were no voices to be heard.  

Bicycle in one hand, duffle bag in the other, Nicholas turned to the stair making his way up. At the top of the stair he saw the door right in front of him that would be his, the black metal number four prominent on the white door. The key slid in roughly, making him wonder if it was the right one, but then it clicked in place and once turned the door swung open revealing the room that would be home for the next year, at least, maybe longer he realized for how cheap it was compared to so many apartments closer to campus. A mattress in plastic was against one wall and four boxes and a stack of plastic drawers in shrink wrap sat in the middle of the floor. Duffle bag dropped on the floor, backpack tossed on top and bike leaned against another wall, he stood in the room imagining how everything should be laid out. There was a large double window in the back wall of the room that overlooked the adjacent house and at the front two smaller windows spaced about four feet apart that overlooked the roof of the porch, front yard and the street.

“Nicholas?”

Nicholas turned to see a guy standing in the door. Average build, brown hair and simple black framed glasses framing his face. “Yes, and you are?”

“Brandon, I’m down the hall in seven. I see you just got here.”

“Yep. I was just trying to figure out how to arrange my room.”

“Need some help?”

“I don’t think so, but thanks. Hey, where is the nearest grocery store? Is it the one back on Kennedy? That is the one I passed on the way here.”

“There is another one to the west, at Hill Street and Jordan but the one on Kennedy is nicer.”

“Thanks, that is the next thing I have to do.”

“You don’t have a car? You’re not going to get much in a backpack.”

Nicholas smiled at Brandon, the response he always gave when someone stated the obvious, especially if it related to his lot in life.

“Sorry, I guess that’s obvious, but Megan is here, and she has a car. When we cook, we include her one time and she will give us lifts to the grocery store.”

“That’s good to know. Is she in a room up here or downstairs?”

“She’s in three, the one in back downstairs. Just be careful when you open her door, for she has two cats that like to run.”

“Good to know” Nicholas replied.

“Well, if you need anything, I’ll be downstairs watching the game.”

Two hours later Nicholas has the mattress on the floor centered between the front windows. A small desk and chair sat under the large windows and a small table next to the mattress. The drawers were in two stacks of three between the bed and the front wall and a metal rolling clothes rack sat between the shelves and door. He hung his few clothes, put underwear and socks in the drawers, along with the small medical kit, flashlight and a deck of cards he used to occupy his mind when feeling frustrated about something. Standing at the door he looked across the room making a mental note of the things he still needed to get. Linens for the bed, a towel and a few bath towels, clothes detergent, and food. Things he needed right away if he didn’t want to sleep on a bare mattress and go without a bath and go hungry for a night. He had time before classes started in four days to get his textbooks and supplies. Checking his wallet one more time, he made sure the debit card was still there for his local checking account that held what money he possessed. Luckily, he would start work in two days at the greenhouses and if he understood correctly, his first paycheck in two weeks, or maybe it was three. Either way he had to watch his spending.

Door locked; Nicholas made his way downstairs. He went into the kitchen first to check out how much space he could expect to have in the refrigerator and found it a cluttered mess, no way of knowing what belonged to who. He stared at the mess wondering how this was going to work.

“It’s a mess, isn’t it?”

Nicholas turned to see a woman come in. She had long red hair pulled back into a ponytail and was wearing a tattered men’s t-shirt and khaki shorts.

“Yes…it is.”

“You must be Nicholas. I’m Megan.”

“Oh, Megan, the one with a car.”

Megan laughed as she stepped around Nicholas taking a fruit drink from the refrigerator. “Yep. I guess one of the others told you I’d take you to the grocery store for food?”

“Brandon.”

“Well, just let me know. I’m planning on going this afternoon if you want to tag along.”

“That would be great. When are you planning on leaving?”

“I have clothes washing and another load to do after, so it’ll be a couple of hours.”

“Okay. Can you tell me where a cheap place to get linens and towels would be located?”

“There is one of those dreadful stores out on Kennedy. We could go there first if you’ll cook two meals for me” Megan replied.

“I could do that. I don’t want to sleep on a bare mattress if I can help it.”

“We won’t make you do that. I’ll stop by your room when I’m ready to go. Four o’clock sound okay?”

“Yes. Four. I’m upstairs right over Tyler.”

“That should be interesting” Megan said as she left the room, leaving Nicholas wondering what she meant.

It was near seven when Megan and Nicholas returned. They carried in bags of groceries, Megan in cloth bags and much to her dismay and constant criticism, Nicholas’ in plastic bags from the grocery store. He followed her into the kitchen while promising he would buy his own cloth bags once he had the money. They found Brandon at the range with two others leaning against the counter.

“You must be Nicholas” the other guy stated as he moved out of the way. “I’m Dylan, across the hall from you and this is…”

“Jessica, I’m in room two.”

“Good to finally meet you” Nicholas replied as he sat bags down on the counter next to Megan. “Excuse me but I’ve got a few more things in the car.”

As Nicholas went out on the rear porch, he heard Jessica ask Megan what he was like. ‘Yes, Megan, what am I like?’ he whispered to himself as he went to the old hatchback to get his other purchases.

An hour later, Nicholas carried the pizza covered in vegetables and cheese to the dining room, roughly cut with a knife since no one had a pizza cutter. It was dinner for Megan and him, one of two he now owed her. They sat at one end of the table with the other four at the other end, plates cleaned off. The television was on a movie, some sci-fi flick Nicholas had never seen, and his eyes were drawn to it like a moth to a flame.

“Have you seen this movie?” Brandon asked.

“No, I haven’t.”

“Seriously?” Tyler asked.

“Seriously. I’ve not seen it” Nicholas replied, his tone defiant.

“Jesus Tyler, don’t be an asshole on his first night” said Jessica, then turning to Nicholas, “So, what’s your story?”

“My story?”

“Yeah, you know. Where are you from and what is your family like and do you have brothers or sisters, a pet left behind or a girlfriend…or boyfriend?” Jessica smiled mischievously as everyone looked at Nicholas waiting for his response.

“No…no girl or boyfriend, no siblings and…”

Nicholas gave them his life, a full minute and a half version that covered everything there was to know about him. Growing up in a small town, his father a truck driver for the seed and fertilizer company in town that catered to the farming community around it. His mom worked at a convenience store on the edge of town and his uncle was a mechanic in the next town over, about ten miles away.

“Boring” Tyler uttered, leaning back in his chair, “just like the rest of us,” causing everyone to laugh, including Nicholas.

It was late when Nicholas retired to his room, the bags from the day’s shopping still sitting on the floor with the bare mattress the center of his attention. He knew everything should be washed once before using it, but he was too tired to care, and he pulled the linens out and unpackaged them. He pulled the fitted one over the mattress then laid the flat on top. He slipped the pillow in one of the two pillar cases that came with the set, putting the other in a drawer. The room was warm, the heat from the day radiating through the ceiling, but he knew before long he would need to purchase a blanket. When Megan had asked if he had one and he told her ‘not yet’ she warned him the house would get cold come winter. The electric baseboard heaters the landlord had installed were nearly useless in warming the rooms. For cooling, the others had put in small window units, but Nicholas was used to sleeping in a hot house in summer with only a fan, and he planned to forgo the expense.

Stripped to his boxers he cut the overhead light, telling himself he needed a lamp by his bed as he felt his way across the dark room. He lay down, seemingly the first time today he had stopped moving and took a deep satisfying breath. The room seemed to settle in the darkness, grow quieter, then he heard someone pad down the hall and a door close, then the muted sound of music coming up through the floor. He rolled over to his side about to close his eyes when he saw light spill out of the abandoned floor duct. Then it went dark and he wondered if he imaged it.

Sleep came quickly, the fatigue and anxiousness of the day having worn him down.

Over the course of the days prior to classes, Nicholas learned more about each of his house mates and began to see a rhythm to their interactions. Emily arriving late the night before classes started, unrushed in everything she did, and he saw she instantly became the one the others deferred. The leader of the house by some unspoken default. Emily was smart, decisive and didn’t pander to silly nonsense that could lead to an argument. Megan was the empathizer, always ready to listen, the one to go to for help, such as a simple ride to the grocery store. Brandon and Jessica were the geeks, as the others jokingly called them. The smartest in the house and the ones to go to for help with an assignment. Brandon was studying physics and Jessica architecture. They were voracious readers and often studied late into the night when everyone else was huddled in the dining room watching some reality program, arguing over who was the worst person on it. Dylan was the loner, the one always at the periphery, never the center of any conversation. He was always going along with the majority and it was obvious he avoided any conflict. He could stay in his room for long periods of time with no sound coming from under the door. Tyler joked Dylan was doing marathon sessions of masturbation which made Dylan blush to the point of being red in the face. And there was Tyler, the house jock. The one always going for a ride on his bike or a jog in the neighborhood or getting one of the others to play catch on the front yard. The one who paraded around the house in nothing but gym shorts revealing a body that was too perfect, muscular, masculine; a body Nicholas struggled not to stare at when in the kitchen or dining room, or sitting on the porch cutting his eyes over his textbook to look at it when Tyler and one of the others were tossing a football back and forth. And even though it was common knowledge Emily was a lesbian and there were rumors Brandon had slept with both sexes last year, it still made Nicholas anxious, worrying how he would be treated, especially by Tyler, if he were to admit to being gay.

And it would be Tyler that rattled Nicholas the most, but not for the reasons he imagined.

Nicholas survived the first two weeks, the surprise exam in calculus and his first paper in English and the daily routine in a house shared with six other people he had not known nearly three weeks ago. He no longer felt anxious about getting to class on time, or where he should sit, finally letting it sink in that everyone in his class was the same. The same freshman status trying to fit in. The first weekend he had spent most of it studying, reading assignments and struggling with what to write about in his first English paper. There were hours spent in the library or on the porch or in his room, nose in one book or another.

Friday after a long day of classes, he came home tired, but in a good way, with a sense of accomplishment. He rode up on his bike, hopping the curb and coasted down the sidewalk stopping just short of the bottom step. Jessica was on the porch reading and from inside, through the open door, music could be heard, coming no doubt from Tyler’s room.

“How were classes?” asked Jessica as Nicholas climbed the steps with his bike.

“Good. I had a calculus exam that I think I did well on, and I got an 85 on that English paper.”

“Just an 85?” Jessica responded making Nicholas look over. He thought she was being snide, but he saw her smile and he knew she was just messing with him.

“Yep, just an 85. I’ll try to do better next time” he replied. “You reading for class or pleasure?”

“Both” Jessica replied holding up a biography on an architect Nicholas did not recognize.

Nicholas went to his room, dropped off his backpack, changed into old clothes and headed back out, heading to his job at the greenhouses. He would put in five hours, not getting back to the house till after eight.

The house was quiet when Nicholas coasted up to the steps. The only light on the small fixture by the front door and one in the hall. Inside it was quiet to the point he heard every squeak of the wood floor as he walked up the stair and to his room. A light shone underneath Dylan’s door and the hall light was on, otherwise the rest of the house was dark.

In his room he switched on the small lamp on his bedside table and sat down on the bed. He was sweaty and covered in grim. And he was so tired he was tempted to skip dinner, but the growling from his stomach made him realize he had to eat something.

“Shit” Nicholas uttered as he climbed back to his feet, grabbed up his toiletries, a pair of boxers and headed to the bathroom. Normally he carried shorts and a t-shirt to put on, but he was so tired he didn’t think of it. He just wanted to get cleaned up and food into his system as quickly as possible.

Nicholas hesitated at Dylan’s door, tempted to ask what was going on, some casual conservation just to hear another talk, but there was such a silence he feared disturbing it. He went to the bathroom, eased the door closed and got a hot shower. His muscles ached like they hadn’t in a long time, the work at the greenhouses being more laborious than he first imagined. He ran the bath cloth over his body, scrubbing hard to get the grim off while enjoying the feel of it, the way it seemed to help his muscles relax.

Partly dried off and standing at the mirror, Nicholas looked at the person in it, wondering why he felt anxious so much and why he feared coming out to the others. It was foolish to hold on to those fears and he knew it. But he also felt a lack of self-confidence, a worry how others saw him. He thought he was attractive, admitting to himself how girls had always flirted with him. But he still felt like a kid at times. The boy of twelve who didn’t understand what was happening to himself. The boy of fourteen who knew he had to hide his attractions to other boys. A boy who was uncoordinated, feet too large for his body, and far too skinny, ribs and collar bone sticking out. Now he saw the eighteen-year old who had filled out some but was still skinny in his own eyes. He knew not to do it, but he thought of Tyler’s body, the muscular nature of it and he was only a year older. Just one year older and they were so different.

Nicholas ran a hand down his chest feeling the smooth clean skin and the flatness of his torso. ‘Would another guy ever want to touch me?’ he wondered as he looked at himself.

He grabbed up his dirty clothes and toiletry case and slung his towel over his shoulder and went back to his room feeling refreshed and more energetic, enough so, that going back downstairs to cook something didn’t seem so overwhelming. He went downstairs in his boxers thinking no one would be around. It seemed a bit daring, something Tyler would do without a moment’s thought. Could he become more like the other guys? Even Brandon paraded around in boxers and a tank top at times revealing his lean body. Nicholas considered how he thought of Brandon as lean but himself as skinny, knowing they were very similar in builds.

In the kitchen he pulled out a small pizza from the freezer and turned the oven on to heat up. He poured a glass of tea from a pitcher, something he kept made all the time. Leaning against the counter he found himself enjoying the silence. The peacefulness of it. He could hear the old house settle, a slight creak from the wood shrinking as it cooled during the night. He closed his eyes and listened, waiting to hear it again, thinking the house alive in some way and he smiled at the foolishness of the thought.

“What’s so funny?”

It startled Nicholas, the unexpected voice of another and he dropped his tea, the glass shattering on the floor.

“Fuck.”

“Oh, I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to startle you” said Emily moving to the far corner where the broom stood propped in the corner. “Don’t move till I get it swept up.”

“I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?” Emily asked, smiling at him.

“I don’t know” Nicholas responded, and he suddenly became aware of another woman standing at the door to the hall. “Oh, I’m…”

“Relax Nick, we’ve all seen guys in boxers before. We live with Tyler, remember” said Emily.

“Yeah… I guess…” Nicholas replied, suddenly self-conscious, crossing his arms in front of his bare chest.

“Nick, this is Ayano. Ayano, this is Nick.”

“Hey Nick” said Ayano.

“Ayano. So, what’s going on tonight?”

“Sex” Emily replied, looking at Nicholas, smiling at how easily they could make him blush. But Ayano blushed too and Nicholas realized she was shy too, not as outgoing as Emily.

Nicholas sat the dining table, the pizza in front of him as he flipped through the channels, trying to find something worth watching for a few minutes before calling it a night. He had to get up early to be back at work. He heard footsteps above him, someone laugh, then silence return to the house. He flipped to the one movie channel they had on cable and found a gay romance was on. It had come out a year ago, and even he knew its storyline, although he had not been able to see it. It had come to a theater in the cities but not any of the small-town theaters around him, and he knew it had not mattered for he would never have dared go if it had. He settled back, slowly eating as he watched the movie wondering why he couldn’t be more like the main character as he admitted online to being gay, that the rumors were true. Nicholas watched with some sense of solidarity as the main character went back to school, walked across the parking lot, down the corridor, seeing the approving looks.

Nicholas lost track of the time, his empty plate pushed back, only melting ice in his glass, as he watched the Ferris wheel carry the main character around and around, while waiting on the other guy to show up. Nicholas didn’t hear the front door open, or the footsteps coming down the hall, or the soft whisperings mixed with giggling. He didn’t see Tyler come to the door and watch him watch the movie as the other boy sat next to the main character.

“What ya watching?” Tyler asked, his tone facetious.

Nicholas fumbled for the remote, sitting up awkwardly making the chair scrap on the floor.

“Nothing…just some movie.”

Nicholas looked across the room at Tyler and the other guy who came up behind him. Suddenly he felt exposed, more so than with Emily and Ayano.

“Relax Nick, it is a good movie. I’ve seen it twice.”

“Twice” Nicholas mumbled, thinking Tyler surely jest.

“This is…” Tyler motioned to the guy, unable to recall his name.

“Adam” the guy replied, obviously miffed at Tyler forgetting his name so quickly.

“Adam, yeah, right. Adam, this is Nick.”

“Hey Nick” Adam replied, and Nicholas suddenly took the measure of the guy. He was shorter than Tyler by several inches and lean to the point of being skinny. And he looked young with his baby face. Adam looked more like a kid than he did, and he suddenly wondered what was going on with the two of them. The past comments came to him, about Tyler being different than first impressions, not the jock boy everyone assumed. Then he noticed the look Tyler was giving him. He was being appraised and he didn’t know in what context, but it made him squirm in his chair and look away, unable to face Tyler.

“Well, we’re going to my room” said Tyler and he pulled Adam away, leaving Nicholas sitting in the dining room, television off, the only noise a bump and squeak from upstairs.

In bed, the lights out, Nicholas just knew sleep would come quickly, but it didn’t. He lay on his back and stared at the silvery square of light cast on the wall and the dark shadows that lay in the corners. He rolled over and for a moment thought someone was crouched in the corner but realized it was his backpack with his running shoes at its base. “Damn” he uttered at how absurd he was being. Then he heard a muffled voice from below, then a laugh. It shocked him to realize what was going, that Tyler had another guy in his room, and they were messing around loud enough for him to hear.

After a few minutes, Nicholas remembered how the floor diffuser let light come up from Tyler’s room and he wondered if he could see down below. It was wrong to spy on Tyler, but he was curious to see what had only been hinted at before. He eased off the bed and crawled to where his backpack sat, for he had gotten in the habit of covering the diffuser with it to hide the light. He assumed it bounced up through the opening through the floor framing and never really looked closely. On hands and knees, he crawled over to it, slide the backpack and shoes to one side. He lay on the floor, flat on his stomach and with his head close to the wall peered down through the diffuser. He was shocked at how easily he could see down in Tyler’s room, wondering why he had not figured this out sooner. He slid up closer and rested his head against the wall as he looked through the small rectangle in the floor, through the framing and out the small rectangle in Tyler’s ceiling.

At first Nicholas was confused by what he saw. The dim lamp light casting dark shadows over the undulating form on the bed. Then he realized what he was seeing. Tyler on top of Adam with his ass moving up and down. Of Adam, he could only see his feet over Tyler’s shoulders, the rest blanketed by the broad-shouldered muscular body. Then he heard it, Adam’s cries, pleadings for Tyler to fuck him harder. The bed squeaked softly in rhythm with Tyler’s fuck, the sound hypnotic in the way it reverberated through the small opening. Tyler raised up on his hands and began to fuck harder, faster, the bed rocking and squeaking louder, but not as loud as Adam’s begging to be fucked.

Nicholas found himself pumping his cock against the floor till it pained him the way it was pinned between his abdomen and the hard floor. He reached down and touched himself as he watched Tyler rise to his knees, holding Adam’s legs against his chest hammering cock into Adam’s ass. He saw Adam naked, the skinny body lying prone, spread out hiding nothing from view. Not his flat chest and concave stomach nor his cock that lay over his abdomen hard as a rock, leaking a slimy trail over the skin as it rocked back and forth. Nicholas wondered if he would look like that if he were with a guy. Would he lay spread out so submissively, so pliant to another guy’s manipulations? His achingly hard cock said he would.

Nicholas lifted his hips and pushed his boxers down his legs, kicking them off. He lay on his side, face down to the opening in the floor with his right arm pinned underneath him while he stroked his cock with the left. He watched Adam raise up and plead for Tyler in a quivering voice to fuck him harder. Adam took his own cock in hand and began to stroke it as he fell back on the bed, head tilted back, mouth open and moaned whorishly as Tyler fucked him roughly. Tyler fucked harder, hips smacking against ass, till he bellowed out, cried out as he jammed his hips against Adam’s ass and Nicholas knew he was coming. It pushed his own aroused state to the edge, and he was panting for breath then shaking as he sprayed the floor with cum and at the same time, down below, Adam was doing the same over his body.

Tyler pulled out of Adam and dropped down next to him on his back. Skin glistening wetly in the dim light, he was panting for breath. Adam slid over next to him, snuggling up next to the larger body.

“Adam” Tyler whispered, Nicholas struggling to hear. “Are you…satisfied?”

“Oh yes, that was great,” Adam replied, sounding like a child that just raided a candy store.

“You don’t’ want to do anything else?”

“What?”

“Oh…nothing…” Tyler replied, reaching for the lamp casting the room into darkness.

The next morning, Nicholas raced to get ready, fearing he would be late. He grabbed up his bike and eased down the stair not wanting to disturb any of the others, knowing most of them came in late or stayed up late. He padded softly down the stair and into the foyer. As he was unlocking the front door to slip out, Tyler’s door opened, and Adam eased out. He was dressed and had an odd expression, as if something was not quite right.

“Oh, hey” Adam whispered when he saw Nicholas holding the front door open about to leave.

“You’re up early.”

“Yeah, it’s just…Tyler…he said he couldn’t sleep with someone in his bed and ask if I would mind leaving.”

Nicholas heard the hurt tone and wondered if Tyler was honest or just trying to be rid of Adam and by Adam’s expression, he knew the two of them thought it the latter.

“You got a way home?” Nicholas asked as he let Adam pass by.

“Yes, I drove last night. That’s my car on the street” Adam replied pointing at a Honda Accord in front of the house.

“Well…I’ll see ya around” said Nicholas as he climbed over his bike and headed to the street as Adam walked to his car. As he rode through the neighborhood, he reflected on Tyler’s hook up with Adam and how he knew there would be no second time. He considered the temporary aspect of a hook up and knew he’d do it, without a second thought, just to have the experience. He didn’t care how easily a guy would ask him to leave the next morning. As he cut through town he wondered about Tyler, the muscular body that fucked Adam with such ease and he imagined it was him instead of Adam. He had seen Tyler’s erection, the way it stuck out ramrod straight, the head flared out wide and he imagined what it would be like to have it inside him, thrusting into his depths. The image grew vivid, and his cock began to get hard.

“WATCH IT ASSHOLE!” as a horn blew, bringing Nicholas back to awareness of his surroundings and the fact he just ran a red light.

Nicholas was coming up the steps with his bike about thirty minutes after two. He was exhausted and dirty. It felt like dirt was in every crevice of his body. Sitting on the porch were Jessica and Brandon, both holding books as they looked up to greet him.

“You look filthy” Brandon stated as Jessica and he smiled at Nicholas.

“I feel filthy” Nicholas replied. “What’s everyone up to?”

“Dylan went to play video games with some guys, Megan and Emily have gone to the grocery store and Tyler is crashed out asleep” said Jessica.

“We were thinking of going out for burgers later. You want to go?” asked Brandon.

“I’m tight till I get paid, so I need to pass.”

“Come on, can’t you afford one burger?”

“I’d love to go but I’m really low in my checking account, but maybe next time? I get paid next Friday.”

“Okay.”

Nicholas entered the foyer and saw Tyler had left his door open and was laying across his bed in just boxers. He stared at the sleeping form, wondering what it’d be like to crawl in next to him. To feel a body like that, the firmness of it he knew it would have. Then he turned away, resolved he was being a fool, and climbed the stair to the second floor.

Showered and in gym shorts, Nicholas started to reach for a t-shirt then decided it was too warm in the house and if felt good without it. He ambled down to the kitchen and started preparing some chicken. He was going to bake it, the easiest way to cook it. He took out a cup of rice and some frozen beans to cook with it. He had skipped lunch and was starving and as late as it was, knew this would be his big meal of the day. Emily and Megan came in, bags in each hand and stirred about the kitchen while he cooked. It had become a normal thing, this interaction with others, the casual banter as they went about with the simple tasks of living. Nicholas found it comforting, a distraction from the things that he let get to him. Like Tyler coming into the kitchen for a drink in nothing but those boxers. Tight around the ass and seductively bulging at the crotch, Nicholas tried not to look, kept diverting his eyes to some place else, even when Tyler was talking to him. There were plans being finalized for dinner at the pub on Garden Street, and who was going, this time Tyler trying to talk Nicholas into going even as he was cooking. When Tyler relented and left the kitchen, Nicholas saw Emily look at him with a questioning look.

“What?”

“Nothing…I didn’t say a thing” Emily replied as she followed Megan out of the kitchen.

Nicholas sat in the dining room, a game on the television as he ate. Above him and across the hall he heard the others stirring around for a few minutes before the house settled into a quietness. No music or voices, no footsteps on the stair or coming down the hall. It was if everyone suddenly disappeared. But he knew most were napping and Tyler was out for a jog.

Around nine the quiet of the house was broken by the front door squeaking open. Nicholas heard it swing open then latch back closed. Footsteps on the stair then the door across the hall swing open and close. It was Dylan and a few minutes later Nicholas heard him go the bathroom then back to his room. It wasn’t long and he heard noise downstairs again, then voices coming up the stair and down the hall. It was Brandon and Emily, back from dinner. He assumed the others were downstairs, but he could never hear anything from the back of the house downstairs. He listened for Tyler, wondering if he came back too, but the room below remained silent.

Nicholas considering going down to the dining room to see anyone was watching television, but he didn’t feel like getting dressed and his legs ached from being on them most of the last two days. So, he settled on his bed, book in hand, reading. It was a thriller, one borrowed from Brandon and he found himself turning page after page as he followed the main character from one false lead to the next. He assumed reading would make him sleepy but after over an hour he was still reading, wide awake. He climbed off the bed and looked out a front window at the quiet street, the lights spaced far enough apart to cast circles of light within the overall dark.

He wanted to go outside but not down the stair, so he slid open the window, dressed only in his boxers, and eased out on the roof of the porch. He sat on the still warm shingled surface and looked up into the nighttime sky. The big dipper was to his right and he looked at its familiar star arrangement, the only one he knew. He scanned the sky and saw a satellite streak across the sky, then shooting stars in the west. Laying back letting the radiating heat from the roof warm his back he kept staring at the sky.

“What are you doing up there?” Tyler’s voice called out in a hushed, drunk tone.

Nicholas sat up and saw Tyler was standing on the sidewalk with a guy at his side. “Nothing” he replied as he realized it was not Adam, but another guy who looked almost like Adam. The same slender build, nearly the same hair color, only this guy was taller, almost Tyler’s height.

“Nothing huh? Well, don’t let the neighbors see you up there in your underwear” Tyler replied, laughing drunkenly. “Come on Edward, let’s go in.”

“It’s Ethan” the guy replied, laughing as drunkenly as Tyler.

Nicholas watched them stagger up the walk and disappear below him. He heard the front door open with Tyler shushing Ethan, then the door close. He got up and eased back through the window. Telling himself he wouldn’t watch, only listen. He sat on the floor by the uncovered diffuser listening to Tyler and Ethan make out, laughing and giggling, then comments about getting their clothes off. Then he heard Tyler tell Ethan to suck his cock.

Nicholas couldn’t take not knowing what was going on in Tyler’s room and he eased over on the floor and peered through the diffuser. At first, he thought it was the same as the night before with Adam for Tyler was naked and on top but then he realized Ethan’s legs were spread out either side of Tyler. Nicholas watched the knees raise up, and arms wrap around the board shoulders then the legs wrap around the narrow waist as soft pleadings to fuck harder came from below Tyler.

It didn’t take long, and Tyler was jamming downward then shuddering with release. Nicholas watched Tyler roll over pulling Ethan over on top of him. They kissed as Tyler ran hands down the lean back and over the small ass.

“You want to fuck around some more” asked Tyler as he let Ethan slip down between his legs.

“No…I’m beat” Ethan replied. “Let’s just go to sleep.”

Tyler rolled Ethan roughly over to the side of the bed and reached for the lamp. The room went dark and Nicholas rolled up and slid his backpack back over the diffuser before climbing in bed and turning on his lamp. He was wound up, cock hard from watching Tyler fuck Ethan and he pushed his boxers down his legs and kicked them off. He took himself in hand and stroked furiously, his frustration and loneliness making him crazy. He stroked noisily, not caring if Dylan or Brandon or Emily heard him till cum spattered his chest and stomach. Then he used his boxers to wipe it off, tossing them into the corner and slipping beneath the cover where he lay awake for far too long, picturing Tyler from the last two nights. Naked, cock rock hard sticking straight out, then fucking Adam then Ethan.

Nicholas stirred awake, rolled to his back and stretched. Sitting up he looked at his watch seeing it was after ten o’clock. It was the latest he had slept in and it being Sunday, the only day he had that luxury. During the week, he had two hour shifts at the greenhouses before his first class at nine, then a three to four hour shift each afternoon. Then there was the morning shift on Saturdays.

Nicholas stood and stretched again. He was still naked, and it felt good to be exposed, not to feel confined in clothing. It made him partially aroused and he tugged on his cock as he looked at the boxers in the corner, wondering if he should put them on to go to the bathroom or just wrap his towel around his waist. Picking them up he found them stuck together from the dried cum and he tossed them into the pile of dirty clothes that sat along the wall near the door.

With the towel around his waist, Nicholas eased his door open and looked down the empty hall, then eased out to cross over to the bathroom. He was pushing the door open when he heard Emily’s door swing open.

“Good morning” said Emily from behind him.

“Good morning” Nicholas replied, turning to see Emily in a tank top and shorts. “You need to use the bathroom before I take a shower?”

“Go ahead. I’ll use the one downstairs” Emily replied.

Nicholas shaved, showered and wrapped his towel around his waist to go back to his room. Just as he came out Dylan’s door swung open.

“Hey, you finished in the bathroom?” Dylan asked as he stepped out wearing nothing but boxers. It was the first time Nicholas had seen him not dressed in layers of clothes and he found himself staring at the lean body, not skinny as he assumed, but muscular, like a runner or swimmer. It surprised him so, he didn’t notice Dylan had stopped and was staring back.

“What?” Dylan asked, his tone worrying.

“Huh…nothing…It’s just…”

“You thought I was a skinny?”

“Well…”

“I ran track in high school. I wasn’t very good, but it made me feel better. Now I just jog to stay in shape.”

“When? I’ve never seen you going out?”

“It’s usually late at night or afternoons when I jog with one of my friends. So, are you done in the bathroom?”

“Oh, yes. It’s all yours” Nicholas replied as he turned to go into his room, embarrassed at how he had acted when he saw Dylan.

In the kitchen Brandon and Jessica were in a discussion about some English writer of the eighteenth century while Megan was at the range cooking eggs. There were morning greetings all around and Nicholas went to the refrigerator for milk to pour over cereal.

Bowl in hand and a cup of coffee, Nicholas went into the dining room were Emily was watching a news program while finishing her coffee. Megan followed, then Brandon and Jessica. They sat around the table making casual conservation about some of the news. Dylan came down and soon joined them with a toasted bagel and coffee.

“Anything going on today?” Dylan asked.

“No, just studying,” Nicholas replied.

“Same,” came responses from Brandon and Jessica.

“I’m going to the library,” Emily replied.

“I’m meeting some friends for lunch later so I thought I would run to the grocery store. Anyone need to go?” Megan asked as she forked egg.

‘No’ came the response from everyone and the table settled back into periods of silence with the occasional comment about the news. Nicholas found himself looking over at Dylan. He was dressed in his usual t-shirt with a plaid shirt over it and khaki pants, all so loose the body within was hidden from view. He wondered why Dylan dressed in such a manner. Why didn’t he dress more like Tyler, in tank tops and tight muscle shirts that showed off his body?

The house had been quiet, all day, everyone studying or taking off for a walk or bike ride. Nicholas had worked through his assignments. History on the porch, Math in the dining room at the table while eating a sandwich for a late lunch and English in his room, away from others as he struggled to write another paper. It was late in the day when he finally got to Introduction to Construction, the one course he really enjoyed, for it was taking him toward his goal for a degree in Construction Management. When he finally closed the last book, the last question answered, he stretched and stood after far too long in his chair. He could hear laughter from downstairs and knew some of the others were in the dining room watching television. Glancing at his watch he saw it was nearly seven.

In the kitchen, Nicholas made a sandwich and tossed some chips on the plate with it, poured a glass of tea and headed back upstairs to his room. Since he left his door open, he played music at a low volume while he sat crossed legged on his bed and ate. He tried to read while eating but his eyes were too tired, and he couldn’t focus on the story. Footsteps came up the stair and Brandon passed going to his room.

When finished with his dinner, Nicholas lay back against the wall while telling himself to get up and go down and sit with the others. But he liked the silence of his room and he sat, letting the minutes tick off as he contemplated where he found himself and how he had yet to fulfill one of his promises he had made to himself. The living openly, dating whoever he wanted, even if it were another guy. He knew nothing was holding him back, except his own fears and comfort in going day by day with things the same.

Emily came up and stuck her head in.

“Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah…I’m fine. Just thinking,” Nicholas replied.

“Nicholas, you know if there is something you want to talk about…”

“Yes, yes, I know. But I’m fine, really.”

“Okay” Emily replied, then disappeared in her room. He heard how she replied, and he knew she was not convinced of his reply. A few minutes later she strolled by, dressed in jeans and a shirt, and disappeared down the stair. He heard the front door open and close and knew she was going out to meet friends, probably at the small bar on the edge of town that catered to lesbians. He considered getting dressed and going to one of the two bars that catered to gays, knowing he wouldn’t do it. First problem was one was age restricted to twenty-one and secondly, the other was a night club that few went to on Sunday night, even though they allowed eighteen to twenty with a band on both wrists showing their underage status.

Nicholas waited till it was dark, and he crawled out on the porch roof and sat watching a few people stroll by, a handful of cars ease by and Tyler get dropped off by a couple of guys in a convertible that was German and expensive. Tyler never looked up as he walked up to the house and Nicholas didn’t call out, not wanting to break the moment, this strange stage set of one watching the other from above.

The night settled into a quiet that only existed on Sunday nights. Everyone laying low and getting ready for another week. Nicholas lay on the roof and stared up into the sky picking out star clusters that might be part of some old grouping or might just be his own selected groups. He liked the idea of them being his own and vowed not to look them up.

“Nicholas?! What are you doing?” Dylan asked in a hushed voice.

Nicholas sat up and saw Dylan on the sidewalk standing by his bike. “Nothing.”

Dylan chuckled, shaking his head, then he looked up at Nicholas, face captured in the light of the porch. “Can I join you?”

“Yeah, come on up.”

A coupe of minutes later Dylan crawled through Nicholas’s window and eased down next to him.

“It is nice up here, isn’t it” Dylan whispered.

“Yes.”

“Zheng came out here all the time.”

“Zheng?”

“The guy who had this room before you” Dylan replied nodding his head back toward Nicholas’s room. “In fact, some of us came out here with him sometimes and we’d talk for hours.”

“What did you talk about” Nicholas asked after a lengthy silence.

Dylan chuckled, then leaned back on his hands, body stretched out beside Nicholas. “Nothing. And everything. Zheng would talk about China in this way that was scary sometimes. How great the country was and all the progress it was making and how it would be the major economic power soon, not us. It was funny how it sounded so conceited at first, but then I realized we currently have the same conceit.”

“You think he was right? About China?”

“Yeah, I think so. We’re not going to stay number one forever and someone will replace us…if we don’t burn the whole world down first.”

“That’s a gloomy image.”

“Maybe.”

“Dylan?”

“Yeah?”

“What do you do when you’re out. I mean…”

“Wondering how one entertains themselves if not into football and can’t drink in the bars and is a geeky bastard?”

“Yes… no, I didn’t mean…”

“Relax, I know what you mean. I meet up with some guys to play video games and on Saturday afternoons we sometimes go hiking in one of the parks nearby. We noticed you haven’t made any close friends, not even really with anyone in the house.”

“We?”

“Yes, we, as in the others in the house.”

“I just don’t have time. I have to work as much as possible, then I end up studying the rest of my free time. I didn’t’ finish until a couple of hours ago with everything I needed done before tomorrow. And there is the money issue. I can’t afford to be throwing money away.”

“Your parents don’t help?”

Nicholas scoffs and sees the look Dylan gives him.

“They are not able, nor are they so inclined.”

“I see. Who dropped you off at the beginning of term?”

“My uncle. The only person who has supported me on coming to college. So, why are you in this cheap run-down abode?”

“My mother can’t afford to help, and my scholarship covers most of my expenses and living here makes it easier for me. And it’s really not that bad, is it?”

“Actually, no its not. There is something about this old place and its rough edges and weird late night creaks, and I have no complaints with the others.”

“And you couldn’t sit on a roof and stare up at the sky in a dorm room” Dylan added as he lay back and stared up at the sky.

Nicholas looked at the prone body and part of him wondered if it were possible to go further with Dylan. But in this moment, one of silence and calm, with the open sky above them, it was not a time to think of it. There were bigger things to think of, like those five stars grouped together just above the oak tree, and almost directly overhead, the four stars clustered close with another three below them. They were his, to name secret names, to give secret meanings, not be told to anyone.

Except for Emily, Monday turned out to be a tough day of surprise exams and more including tougher assignments than normal. It was capped off by a rainstorm that blew in with severe winds. For Nicholas, it was more than just an aggravation, for he was riding home on his bike in the drizzling rain later that night. The drizzling rain lingered all through Tuesday darkening everyone’s mood even more. At one point it seemed every light in the house was on in some vain attempt to drive away the darkness.

Wednesday was a new day, literally, in every sense in the meaning of the phrase. The sky was a clear vivid blue, not a cloud in sight. There was a gentle breeze and temperature rose higher than normal for a fall day, making it seem almost like summer had returned.

Nicholas went from his last class straight to the greenhouses. It was a hive of activity, with one having new plantings that needed watering and two others having the fall plants for the campus being readied for the landscape crews. He fell into each job and before he knew it, the sky was dark, and it was time to ride home. As miserable the ride of the two previous nights had been, the ride home this time was relaxing, with only a few students out and about. At times he stood on the pedals and built up as much speed as he could, then costed for as long as the grades allowed him.

Jessica, Megan and Brandon were on the porch and as Nicholas climbed the stair with his bike, Tyler came out in running shorts. Nicholas spoke to those on the porch as he cut his eyes once to the sidewalk where Tyler was doing stretches before taking off on his jog. He couldn’t stop himself from looking at the muscular upper body, the way it flexed and moved, muscles so clearly defined. Inside he found Emily coming out of the dining room, textbook in hand and he let her go ahead on their climb to the second floor.

“How was work?”

“Busy, but it was okay. Made the time pass quickly.”

“I don’t know how you keep the hours you do.”

“No choice,” Nicholas replied as they came into the hall, Emily going into her room and he pulling keys out to unlock his door.

Nicholas set his bike down, grabbed up his toiletries and clean boxers, gym shorts and headed to the bathroom to get cleaned up. He was starving but could not bare another minute feeling so dirty.

Back in his room, dirty clothes tossed on top of the pile, Nicholas slipped on a t-shirt, an old one that was becoming frayed, the neck tearing loose at the front, and headed down to the kitchen to prepare something. He saw Megan and Jessica were in the dining room now, laughing at something that was on television. In the kitchen Brandon was pouring a glass of juice. When Brandon moved, heading back to the dining room, he opened the freezer taking out a frozen pizza. Anything requiring more preparation was just too much to think about.

As the pizza cooked Nicholas went into the dining room and sat at the head of the table and started to watch the sitcom that was on.

“You got mail today” said Megan as she slid a letter across the table.

Nicholas heard the tone and saw the looks, knowing how it looked. He never called home, never spoke of it unless asked and this was the first personal mail he had received since moving in. He looked at the script writing on the front, the neatness of it and knew it was his mother’s handwriting. He tore the envelop carelessly and pulled out the simple white pages folded up inside.

Nicholas,

We’ve not heard from you. Do you have a phone where you live? Robert didn’t know or wouldn’t tell me. I know you want to pursue this college thing, but son, this is foolish. We’re not college people. We’re the kind who toil at honest jobs, making honest money. This college thing is only going to leave you disappointed and we both know you’ll end up back here anyway. Everyone comes back eventually. Come home, son and we’ll forget about what happened before you left.

Call me and I’ll come get you.

Love, Mom.

Nicholas felt his face grow hot and his breathing labored as a tear trickled down his face. He saw the others looking at him, their expressions changing quickly, and he knew how he must look to them. He wadded up the letter and threw it across the room. “Fuck!” He pushed back, the chair scraping across the floor and he stumbled back into kitchen, wiping his eyes with his forearm.

“Nicholas?” Megan called out.

He opened the oven and pulled out the pizza and slid it recklessly onto a plate. He hacked across it with a knife till it was four pieces. Glass in hand he turned to the refrigerator to pour tea and saw Megan and Brandon at the dining room door and Jessica at the door to the hall.

“Nicholas, you okay?” Megan asked.

“Not really,” Nicholas replied as he poured the tea, set the pitcher back in refrigerator and closed the door. “I’ll be fine. Seriously, it’s okay. It was just mom being mom.”

“You sure?” Brandon asked.

“Yeah, nothing I’ve not dealt with before. Let’s go back and finish watching that show.”

Nicholas followed Megan into the dining and watched each one ease down in their chair, as he set his food down and pulled the chair back to the table to sit down. The balled-up letter lay on the table in front of him and he raked it to the floor. No one said anything as he ate, everyone staring at the television. There were no comments or laughing at the designated parts, and Nicholas knew he had to finish and get back to his room. They didn’t need him around when he was like this.

Nicholas wouldn’t know it till later but Tyler came in after he returned to his room and found Megan and Brandon still in the dining room. A balled-up piece of paper lay on the table and when asked about it, Brandon told him it was a letter to Nicholas from his mother and how he responded when he read it.

“What did it say?”

“We don’t know?” Megan replied.

“He doesn’t deserve this,” Brandon added, looking from the ball of paper then up to Tyler who was standing on the opposite side.

“Fuck it” Tyler replied as he reached down and picked up the letter, unfolding it.

“Tyler… I don’t think that is a good idea,” said Megan, but her tone said otherwise.

Tyler spread it open and began to read aloud. He kept his voice low incase Nicholas came back down, but it was obvious from what he read Nicholas would be staying in his room for the night.

Tyler took a shower and went back to his room, laying atop the covers enjoying the sense of the cooling air over his nearly naked body. He usually felt aroused after a shower, and found himself masturbating often, then laying on the bed naked as cum turned runny and trickled over his sides. But he felt a frustration he didn’t know how to handle. The letter shocked him, the way it disparaged Nicholas in his efforts to do better, to pursue the life he wanted. He had heard of this attitude, the stories of children being obligated to follow in their parent’s footsteps, no matter how difficult. It seemed the more difficult the worse the attitude in clinging to the same way of life, generation after generation. He stared up at the ceiling imagining what Nicholas was doing. He assumed sprawled out on the bed staring into corner or up at the ceiling. What else was there to do?

A thud on the floor above and something knocked over and Tyler jumped up and ran upstairs.

“Nicholas?! You okay?” Tyler asked as he knocked on the door.

Through the door he heard footsteps and Nicholas’s muffled voice as it approached the door, “I’m okay.”

The door swung open and Tyler saw the lamp lying on the floor, the shade appearing bent and the table turned on its side.

“I stumbled getting on the bed and knocked everything over.”

“You okay?”

“Someone told you I heard from home?”

“Sort of…I kind of read your letter.”

Nicholas stared at Tyler for a second then shrugged his shoulders as he turned and returned to his bed. He fell on top of it flat on his back and stared up at the ceiling as Tyler stepped into his room, closing the door behind him.

“You want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“You want me to leave?”

“Not really.”

Tyler moved to the foot of the mattress looking down at Nicholas who stayed focused on the ceiling, afraid to look at Tyler. He was afraid he would cry. He was afraid he’d say something he’d regret. But he was more afraid of what he’d ask of Tyler. But when he saw movement, then the mattress rock he saw Tyler lying down next to him. There were only inches between them, and he never sensed the presence of another as much as he did Tyler next to him at this moment.

“Growing up in a poor section of Atlanta had been a bit tough and the expectations were so…stifling,” Tyler whispered as he stared up at the ceiling too. “My parents did their best and they pushed Travis and me to do better. Every time we fucked up or got a bad grade, Jesus, the hell we caught. They send what they can to help and I never ask for it knowing Travis is still there. I know you guys think I’m just some dumb jock goofing off all the time, but…”

“I don’t think you goof off all the time” Nicholas interrupted, his voice a hoarse whisper.

“Don’t interrupt; you’re messing up my story” Tyler replied and the two of them chuckled as Nicholas wiped his eyes. “Would you believe me if I told you my grade point average is 3.6?”

“3.6? Seriously?”

“Yep.”

“I’ll never get that.”

“Don’t sell yourself short. I saw your scores the other day when you left your books on the dining table. They are getting better. That is how it was with me. Those first ones were scary low, but the next test was easier and the one after that, till I found my way, how to study for each course, really study.”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe? Listen to you.”

“Right now, I’m trying to decide how to respond to that letter…or if I should.”

“That is your decision to make.”

“What would you do?”

“Write back and tell them all to fuck off.”

Nicholas turned to Tyler, wondering if he was serious. He saw the lips turn up then the snort as Tyler tried not to laugh, then the two of them began. Loud, body shaking laughs.

“Damn, you need to get off my bed or…” Nicholas exclaimed as he laughed, pushing at Tyler trying to roll him off the mattress.

“Hey, don’t be like that” Tyler replied, pushing back, so much stronger than Nicholas he forced him onto his back. “I’m here to help…to cheer you up...asshole.” Tyler moved over Nicholas, the two of them pushing against each other.

“Get off…me…ya dumb jock” Nicholas stammered as he struggled beneath Tyler.

“Dumb jock?” Tyler repeated and he pinned Nicholas down, arms over his head. “You said to get off your bed or…or what?”

Nicholas didn’t reply for he was staring at Tyler who hovered right in his face. He felt each hot exhale and saw the brown eyes staring down at him.

“You want me to leave?” Tyler asked.

“No.”

“Just for tonight?”

“Just for tonight.”

Tyler leaned down and kissed along Nicholas’s neck, dragged his lips upward till working the right ear. He tugged on them then whispered, “Have you done this before?”

“No.”

“Tell me when you want me to…”

“Shut up Tyler” Nicholas interrupted as he leaned up and kissed Tyler on the neck then nipped at the skin.

Hands pulled and tugged at Nicholas’s clothes till he was naked. Hands roamed over his body, touching in ways he had only fantasized about. The caress over his chest, down one thigh, or up along his neck till fingers combed through his hair. Fingers dug into his flesh, pinch nipples, tugged on his balls and toyed with his cock till it was hard filling the hand that stroked it. He let it happen, submitting to everything. Tyler kissed him on the lips, and he parted them letting tongue push into his mouth. Tyler toyed with his cock till he was pumping his hips, then moved down between his legs till touching him, rubbing over his tight opening and he spread his legs and pushed up against those fingers.

Nicholas ran his hands down the firm muscular body, felt the firmness of it till he was holding each ass cheek, Tyler’s boxers in the way.

“Get them off” Nicholas demanded as he tugged and pushed downward getting the boxers out of reach. Tyler stood on his knees and worked them off and Nicholas saw it, Tyler’s erection, so close he could really touch it, feel it with his hand. He wrapped his fingers around it getting the measure of its girth, then stroked it as Tyler watched, amused at how Nicholas was manipulating him.

“What do you want?” Tyler asked as he watched Nicholas stroke his cock.

“Everything” Nicholas whispered, then tugged Tyler to move up over him.

Knee walking over Nicholas’s lean body, straddling it till he was over the chest, Tyler pushed his cock down rubbing the head over Nicholas’s lips. The tongue snaked out, wiped wetly at the head and Nicholas grunted. One hand took Tyler’s cock while another pushed against his ass. His cock was at Nicholas’s lips, then it was between them…then it was sinking into Nicholas’s wet mouth. He bucked forward, pushing another inch through those lips stifling a desire to cry out.

Nicholas was frenzied in the way he pulled Tyler forward, taking inch after inch till choking.

“Slow down…we have all night,” Tyler uttered as he pulled back.

But Nicholas didn’t slow down, instead he pulled Tyler into his fervent state. He slipped his fingers between the cheeks of Tyler’s ass and dug into the tightness hidden from view. He bore a finger through the tightness and sunk it as deeply as he could inside him. He sucked on the head of Tyler’s cock, sank his mouth down the shaft, over and over and over till Tyler was shivering with arousal.

Tyler was pushed too far, his need for more so urgent he fell on top of Nicholas and ground his wet cock against Nicholas’s cock. He worked his cock against Nicholas’s abdomen till legs wrapped around his waist and Nicholas was hugging their bodies together.

“Fuck me…fuck me, Tyler…please” Nicholas pleaded, and he hugged tighter to the undulating body.

Tyler pushed his cock down and pressed the wet head against Nicholas’s opening. He pushed till he felt Nicholas shuddering beneath him while begging him to push it in further. He eased in deeper, pushing till all the way, every inch buried inside of Nicholas. He felt the lips on his neck, the hands moving over his back, up his neck, then fingers combing through his hair. They closed into a fist and pulled his head back roughly and he felt his cock flex with arousal inside Nicholas’s hole.

“Fuck me…come on…fuck me” Nicholas begged as he squirmed and moved like a trapped animal and Tyler wanted him more than any other before. Up on his hands, body hovering over the sweaty body below, he began to fuck.

 Nicholas felt the penetration, every inch, and he wanted more. He wanted to feel Tyler against his skin, the sweaty rub of flesh against flesh. He wanted a sense of Tyler’s exertion, the bump against his ass as cock plunge into his depths. Their fuck became rough, the pure physical nature of it pushed the mattress against the wall and pulled the fitted sheet loose. The floor squeaked and the room seemed to grow hotter as if in an oven.

“FUCK” Tyler exclaimed as he shoved all the way inward, smacking against Nicholas’s ass, and he came.

Nicholas rocked with every shove against his ass, knowing Tyler was coming. He pulled the sweating body against his own and hugged it tightly as it jerked and shook with each ejaculation. When Tyler collapsed on top of him, heaving for breath, he rubbed his back and whispered in his ear how good it was. Then he rolled Tyler over, putting him on his back.

“My turn.”

“What? No.”

“Don’t fight me Tyler, I know.”

Nicholas watched Tyler relax, felt the hands on his waist as he moved between Tyler’s legs. He ground his cock against Tyler till knees raised either side of him and Tyler whimpered like a child.

“You want it?” Nicholas whispered and Tyler nodded his head.

A hand slipped down between them and took Nicholas’s hard cock, stroked it till the whole shaft was slick, then guided Nicholas to his target. He pushed against the tightness till he felt the head of his cock squeeze through it. And he kept pushing, slowly, inch after inch, till Tyler had all of him.

 Then Nicholas fucked. His hips swung upward till his cock nearly pulled free, then he slammed down, hips smacking against upturned ass. Over and over, Nicholas drove into Tyler’s depths. He didn’t hold back. He wanted to fuck something. He wanted to drive his cock into someone. Tyler was there, beneath him, sweating and moaning, begging him to fuck harder, and harder he did.

Nicholas didn’t care how noisy Tyler got. He didn’t care how much the floor squeaked beneath them. He was pissed, angry, embarrassed to have let the others see how it affected him, that fucking letter, and he was sad, lonely and desperately wanting the companionship of another. He wanted to be naked with another guy. He wanted them to see him exposed, the raw nature of it. He wanted it to be this rough physical connection, where one penetrated the other. He had never wanted to be fucked as much as he had moments ago, and he knew Tyler was the same. He had seen it; this desire Tyler was too timid to express. Well, he had Tyler under him. And in this moment, a bottom to his top.

Nicholas never slowed, not for a minute. He fucked till sweat trickled down his chest and from his hair. He fucked till Tyler was a stammering mess and when he felt his whole body tighten, every muscle wound up tight, he shoved inward all the way and shook with release as he filled Tyler with his load. Then he eased free of Tyler and lay beside him, heaving for breath.

“Fuck…that was…” Tyler stammered, then he looked over at Nicholas and began to laugh. “You nasty bastard” he joked as Nicholas began to laugh too.

They lay still for a long time after the laughs and comments in jest finally stopped. Then Tyler began to sit up, thinking he should go back to his room. Nicholas grabbed his wrist and pulled him back down.

“Just for tonight, remember. Stay with me till morning” said Nicholas as he rolled to his side pulling Tyler to spoon up against his back. He wanted to fill that large body cocoon him, to embrace him till he was asleep. He wanted to feel the security of another, someone who was there when he needed them. “Just for the night…okay?” he whispered, knowing tomorrow things would be back to normal.

The alarm went off and Nicholas woke in bed alone. He wasn’t surprised. He dressed in his usual attire. A t-shirt of some muted color and jeans. It was six-thirty in the morning, and he had enough time to eat a bowl of cereal and get to the greenhouses before clocking in around five till seven.

The morning was cool, the sky clouding up and Nicholas wondered if it would rain or just get colder as the day wore on. He worked his two-hour shift, raced across campus to his first class, then made his way to the next class and the next till it was time for lunch. In the cafeteria, sitting at the far end away from most others, he ate slowly, enjoying the first time of the day he could just sit and relax. He forked his food slowly while staring out the window at the activity on campus.

“Hey…can I sit with you?”

Nicholas turned to see Dylan standing just behind him.

“Hey Dylan, yes, come on. Sit.”

Dylan slid in opposite, his tray a sharp contrast to Nicholas’s. Where Nicholas had a sandwich, chips and a cookie, Dylan had baked chicken and salad. Nicholas realized he had never seen Dylan with junk food, never seen him eat anything processed or fried. ‘He’s seriously health conscious’ he thought as he watched Dylan start to eat, head kept down. Then he realized Dylan was keeping his eyes down.

“Sooo…Tyler and you are a thing, now?”

There it was: the admittance by one of his house mates they had heard Tyler and him last night. Only the response wasn’t what he expected. No teasing or crude joking comments. In fact, Dylan seemed put off by him having sex with Tyler.

“It’s nothing.”

“Nothing? You guys start sleeping together and it’s…”

“Nothing. It was just the one time. I think he knew and…” Nicholas stopped, not sure how to describe it. The way he had been feeling and how Tyler seemed to know to come to him.

“…and what? Was it because of the letter you got from home?”

“Yes” Nicholas replied as he pushed his empty plate back and leaned forward on elbows.

“So, you’re gay?”

Nicholas nodded his head, waiting to see how Dylan responded. Dylan continued to eat, and at one point looked over Nicholas’s shoulder to something going on across the room. Nicholas turned to see Tyler and another guy walking by, Tyler’s arm draped around the guy’s shoulder.

“That didn’t take long?” Dylan uttered in a low voice.

Nicholas chuckled at Dylan’s comment, turning back around. “Like I said, it was nothing.”

“But don’t you want more?”

“Yes, of course. I could never do what Tyler does, but then again, I really don’t think Tyler likes it either.”

“Huh?”

“Let’s just say I know most of the guys he brings home are not what he is really looking for.”

Dylan gives Nicholas a questioning look but lets it go as he forks more salad. As Dylan finished his lunch, they sat silent, Nicholas watching him eat or the commotions around them; two guys arguing about politics, a girl calling out to a guy, flirting with him and crossing the dining room a group of guys dressed in dark clothes that was all layered up. They all had black hair that was deliberately messed up and he wondered if they were like the guys Dylan hung out with for those nights of video gaming.

“What do you want?” Dylan asked as he pushed his empty plate back.

“What do you mean?”

“If you don’t want hook ups like Tyler, then what do you want?”

“Honestly, I’ve never given myself the luxury of really thinking about it.”

“Come on, you’ve thought about it whether, or not you’ve acted on it.”

“Yes, but…”

“No buts.”

“I’d like to have a boyfriend. Someone who can be with me no matter if things are good or bad. Someone who could stay the night and wake up with me. To be there in the morning.”

Dylan nodded his head but didn’t comment.

“What about you? What do you want? I’ve not seen you mention any interest in anyone, nor make any attempt to go out, other than with your video game buddies.”

Dylan shifted, sitting up straight, and Nicholas saw it, just a quick change in expression, and he knew. Dylan was struggling with it too.

“Dylan…are you gay? If you’re not please don’t be angry, but…”

“I don’t…” Dylan interrupted, and he slouched, looking defeated. “Maybe.”

“Maybe?”

“Yeah, I don’t know, not really. I think about girls, admire some of them, find them attractive, but…then there are guys I look at and feel the same way. I don’t know which to choose.”

“Why choose?”

“What? Then I’m to pick neither?”

“NO! That’s not what I meant. I mean, go out with either, whoever you find attractive and see where it leads. See who gives you whatever it is we need as humans to make a relationship work. Fuck, if I know what it is.” Nicholas sees Tyler coming back across the cafeteria with the guy from earlier, the two of them leaned in together, talking and laughing. “And neither does he,” nodding his head in Tyler’s direction, causing Dylan to look around.

“You’re probably right.”

“Dylan, I have to go so I can get across campus in time for my class. See you back at the house?”

“Yeah.”

Nicholas stands and picks up his tray, then stops, looking down at Dylan. “Hey, we’re good?”

Dylan looks up and smiles. “We’re good. I’ll see you back at the house.”

Thursday night Nicholas sits at the dining table with Megan, Brandon and Dylan. Each one has dinner before them and are all turned toward the television, except for Nicholas. He is at the head of the table with a notepad by his plate. His pen hovers over it for long periods of time, then he writes furiously for a few lines. It goes on till he is the only one left in the dining room, the others gone back to their rooms to study. He wasn’t going to do it, but he needed to make it clear once again to his parents, college was not up for discussion. He told them not to expect him, using the excuse he had to work and insinuated he may not come home during the Christmas break. After folding the two pages and slipping them in an envelope, he carried his plate to the kitchen, washed and dried it, then came back through the dining room, gathering up everything as he made his way to his room. He had one assignment to finish and felt he could now focus on it.

It’s late when he finished the paper due in the morning, nearly eleven o’clock. Nicholas is wound up, the letter laying on the table by his bed a reminder he doesn’t want to see anymore. He wants it in a mailbox and out of his possession. He slips on shoes thinking a long walk would do him good, and along the way he could drop the letter into a mailbox.

Swinging open his door he comes out to find Dylan locking his door, dressed in baggy gym shorts and a tank top.

“Hey, you going for a run?” Nicholas asks as he pulls his door closed.

“Yes. It helps me wind down and get to sleep. Where are you going?”

“For a walk, and to drop this in a mailbox before I change my mind.”

“Is it to your parents?”

“Yep.”

“Why don’t you change into gym shorts and come jogging with me?”

“What? Seriously, I doubt I could keep up with you.”

“I’ll slow down,” Dylan replies as he smiles sarcastically. “Come on. Go change. I’ll wait on the porch” he adds, heading down the stair without waiting on a response.

“Oh hell” Nicholas utters as he unlocks his door to go back in to change.

Nicholas isn’t sure what made him do it. Why he slipped on those gym shorts and tossed his shirt on the bed not bothering to keep one on. He had been doing it more often around the house. He had once been self-conscious about his skinny build, but realizing it didn’t matter to some guys, not even guys like Tyler, he decided to go without. He hated a sweat soaked shirt against his skin, and he knew jogging with Dylan would probably leave him sweaty. And in a moment of honesty, he knew it was a test of Dylan, to see if there was any interest. Anything to let him get his hopes up.  For the remainder of the day whenever not focused on the lecture in his final class, he thought of their conversation in the cafeteria and if Dylan’s initial response about him fucking with Tyler didn’t sound a bit hurt by it. A bit of jealously in it happening. As he picked up his keys and letter, pulling the door closed he hoped there had been.

Nicholas stepped out on the porch and eased the front door closed. When he turned to Dylan, he saw the look, eyes going up and down and he wondered if it was a guy looking at another, some alpha male sizing up another, or was it something else.

“Okay, I’m ready. Don’t get too far out in front of me” Nicholas joked as he headed down the steps. Dylan followed and as they came to the sidewalk, Dylan stepped out into the street.

“The street is better and there’s hardly any traffic,” Dylan assured Nicholas, and he swung out into the street falling in beside him.

They jogged down the street for a few blocks where a mailbox sat on a corner and Nicholas dropped the letter inside it, only hesitating for a brief second before letting it go. They turned on Julian Drive, moving to the wide sidewalk that ran along the small businesses lining the street. Most were closed, but the Vietnamese restaurant and English pub were open, and patrons were lingering on the sidewalk. Dylan led as they weaved in and out of the patrons till back on clear sidewalk, and Nicholas moved back along side him.

Nicholas found himself struggling, felt his pace slow but Dylan stayed at his side. Breathing labored and his legs aching, he pushed on till he felt himself fall into a rhythm. The pain no longer slowing him, the exertion less a struggle and more an exercise.

“You’ve found your pace” said Dylan as they turned on Elm Lane heading back toward home.

They jogged a few more blocks then Dylan held up a hand for Nicholas to stop. “Give me a minute” said Dylan as he slipped the sweat soaked tank top off and tucked it in the back of his shorts. “I’m burning up and the shirt is rubbing me wrong.”

“Making your tits sore” Nicholas joked, and both laughed as Dylan nodded his head.

Nicholas felt the heat of his own body, the way it sweated making his skin feel slick. It felt good to him. Looking at Dylan, once again able to see the body that still surprised him, he saw the muscular nature of it. The definition of the chest and stomach, more pronounced now than before. Even in the dim street lights, Dylan’s skin shone wetly, smooth to the eye and Nicholas found himself imagining what it would be like to touch it.

“Let’s go” said Dylan, and Nicholas pushed the image down as he fell in beside Dylan, the two of them back in the street, the sidewalks too narrow and broken up.

They jogged up to a quiet dark house. Only the porch light was on, the interior nothing but shadows and silence. Quietly, whispering to each other, Dylan unlocked the door and Nicholas followed him inside. They made their way upstairs and each went to their door, unlocking it. Nicholas turned to see Dylan looking back and for a moment he imagined being asked to shower with him. To follow him to the bathroom where they could get naked together and let things unfold from there.

“Thanks for going with me. You want to do it again sometime?” asked Dylan.

“Yeah, sure. Anytime. It feels good to get out” Nicholas replied, hiding his disappointment but unable to stop himself from running one hand down his sweaty chest seeing Dylan’s eyes follow it. “I’ll let you shower first.”

“Don’t be silly, Nicholas. You have to get up way before me; go ahead.”

Nicholas had to work a little longer than usual on Friday night and it was nearly nine before he got back to the house. Coming up the steps he met Tyler heading out and inside he found only Jessica and Megan in the dining room with some of their friends, obviously having had dinner and settled down to watch a movie. He went upstairs and looked at the closed door to Dylan’s room, the darkness underneath it and knew Dylan would be out with his gaming friends.

Nicholas set his bike down and stripped down to his boxers, unable to wear the still wet and dirty garments a minute longer. He grabbed up his things and crossed the hall to the bathroom where nothing was more important than the hot shower that awaited him.

In clean shorts and t-shirt, Nicholas went down to prepare dinner, knowing it would be some frozen dinner heated up in the oven. Megan came in, pulling another bottle of wine from her cabinet and leaned against the cabinet next to him.

“You’re late getting home.”

“There was a water leak and one of the greenhouses was…let’s just say it was a fucking mess.”

“When you’ve heated up whatever that is in the oven, come on in the dining room to eat. We won’t mind.”

“Thanks, but I’m going to eat in my room and call it a night as soon as I finish.”

“Okay, but if you want to come down, we don’t mind. It’s just a couple of friends over to hang out.”

“Thanks.”

The lasagna heated, and on a plate, Nicholas took it upstairs to his room. He ate sitting in the middle of his bed, set the plate on the floor, shut off the lamp and fell back on the bed, so exhausted he was asleep in a couple of minutes.

Saturday began with rain and Nicholas rode to the greenhouse in a cheap raincoat that billowed out around him and still let water run down his back and spray up his legs. The greenhouses were still messed up from the night before and Charlie, Susan and he, the three hires for the fall, worked till nearly noon just getting everything cleaned up and back in its place. The lead professor came through just as they were ready to break for lunch, nodding approvingly as he went through greenhouse. They waited at the service door at back that lead into the maintenance area to see if there were instructions for after lunch.

“You guys have really gotten everything back in place. Looks good. If you like, clock out and head on home. Everything else can wait till Monday.”

“Seriously?” Charlie asked.

Nodding his head, the professor looked back at Charlie, “seriously, take off. Enjoy the rest of your day.”

Nicholas wadded the raincoat up and stuffed it in his back pocket as best he could and rode home in the rain. He ran through the puddles, weaved around the students on the sidewalks and cut through town easily keeping up with the slow-moving traffic. He coasted up to the curb, jumped up on the sidewalk and coasted the rest of the way to the porch steps.

“You’re home early?” said Dylan, who was sitting on the porch reading.

“Yep. The professor let us go since we had the greenhouse back in order.”

“Back in order?”

“We had a pipe burst yesterday and it flooded the greenhouse and made a huge mess.”

“I bet that was some work to clean up.”

“You don’t want to know. I’ve got to get cleaned up. I’m filthy and…”

“And soaked to the bone from the look of it” Dylan interrupted, and Nicholas realized how he must look. His shorts and white t-shirt clinging to his body, the shirt transparent. He could see looking down his shorts were revealing more than they should. ‘Do you like what you see?’ he asked Dylan in his mind, almost tempted to ask aloud.

“A hot shower is definitely in order.” Nicholas swung the door open and started in when he couldn’t resist trying, the temptation too great. He stepped back so he could see Dylan, who looked up questioningly. “You want to join me?” Nicholas whispered conspiratorially.

“Very funny.”

“I’m not joking” said Nicholas as he stepped inside, shocked he had done it, openly flirted with Dylan. As he climbed the stair, he worried whether, or not he should have done it. Maybe he had gone too far. Dylan might take it the wrong way. He had sounded so confused about everything in the cafeteria the other day.

In the bathroom, Nicholas stripped off his wet clothes and stepped under the warm spray of the shower. He let it warm his chilled skin and rinse the worse of the dirt and grim off. Head held down letting the water cascade over it, he smiled, then chuckled at the idea of Dylan joining him in the shower, knowing it wouldn’t happen. It was just being flirtatious and there was no way Dylan would be so open about it as to actually come get in the shower with him. Moving his head under the spray, he didn’t hear the door open or the soft footsteps in the bathroom. He didn’t notice the clothes being laid on the vanity, but he saw and heard the shower curtain pull back. He saw a foot step over the side, and looking upward, he saw the leg, then the naked torso step in next to him.

“Geez, you’ve got it hot” Dylan whispered, smiling mischievously. “You want me to wash your back?”

 Nicholas turned and let Dylan run hands over his back. Slow circular motions, each hand moved over his back. He noticed Dylan was hesitant to touch his ass, and he reached back and pushed each hand down.

“You can touch me” Nicholas whispered as he leaned forward resting his head against the wall. The hands circled each ass cheek, then one slipped between them. It rubbed up and down the crevice, raking over his opening and he pushed back wanting more manipulation. Lips touched the back of his neck as a finger rubbed over his tight opening. He shivered with the manipulation. He shuddered harder when Dylan breached his tightness and sunk a finger into his hole. The other hand moved slowly around his waist, tentative, hesitant, but it kept moving till raking through his pubic hair, till finally, Nicholas desperate for Dylan to hurry up and take him, the hand encircled his growing erection.

Nicholas grew fully erect as the hand stroked him slowly, teasingly, rubbing the head till he was pushing back on the finger inside him. He felt the probing of his inside, first one, then two fingers working inward all the way.

“Fuck” Nicholas uttered.

Suddenly Dylan was putting both hands on Nicholas’s waist and spun him around so they were face to face. Dylan pressed his body against Nicholas and kissed him on the neck, then up along the jaw till their lips were pressed together. The kiss became more passionate, open mouth, tongues touching. Cocks were pressed together, and chests rubbed against each other as hands moved up and down sides. Nicholas slid his hands around and grabbed each ass cheek pulling Dylan against him harder, their cocks pinned between them.

Nicholas slipped one hand between Dylan’s ass cheeks, and he rubbed his fingers along the crevice then toyed with the tight rosebud of Dylan’s opening. A moan into his mouth then a cry as he penetrated him. He pumped the finger inside Dylan, then pushed a second through the tightness.

“Oh…oh…” Dylan exhaled while pushing his hips against Nicholas. Then he stepped back and turned before Nicholas. He pressed his back against him and rubbed his ass over the leaking erection pinned against it. Nicholas held Dylan by the chin while kissing the side of his neck and face, and with the other hand, he rubbed down the smooth torso till he held Dylan in hand, rock hard and thick in his grasp. He stroked Dylan while pushing his own erection against the firm ass. The shower seemed to get hotter, sauna hot, as he manipulated Dylan until he was leaning over, pushing back hard against his cock.

“Put it in me” Dylan uttered, and he reached back spreading his ass exposing the tight rosebud he wanted penetrated.

Nicholas moved to Dylan, cock aligned with the exposed rosebud, and he pushed through the tight opening and eased into Dylan’s depths.

“OH…fuck” Dylan cried out, not holding back, letting his cry echo in the small bathroom.

Nicholas fucked slowly, savoring the feel of every inch pushing inward then tugging out through Dylan’s tight opening. It milked his shaft, making him more aroused. As water cascaded down his body and sprayed Dylan’s back, he watched how it looked, his cock sinking into Dylan as he pushed inward, every inch, till his abdomen pressed tightly against Dylan’s ass. He held still letting the soft heat envelope his cock, then tugged outward, slowly, and he felt fingers dig into his thighs urging him on.

Dylan began to move with him, pushing back as he pushed inward. They fell into sync, two working as one for each’s pleasure.

“Nicholas…fuck…do me” Dylan pleaded, and Nicholas knew what he wanted.

Holding tightly to the narrow waist, Nicholas began to fuck faster, to drive hard into Dylan’s depths, till their bodies smacked together and grunts and moans echoed in the bathroom.

“Fuck…take me…take me” Nicholas exclaimed breathlessly as he hammered his cock in Dylan’s depths. He was too close, too aroused to hold back any longer. He tightened his hold on the narrow waist and shoved forward hard, shaking with release. He pushed against Dylan with every ejaculation till he was spent, and he fell over him breathing hard.

“Fuck…that was…” Nicholas uttered breathless as he ran his hands along Dylan’s chest and stomach. He kissed the back of his neck, then cried out pushing both from under the shower.

“What?” Dylan asked.

“The water is cold!” Nicholas exclaimed.

They laughed and rinsed off quickly. Water shut off, they toweled each other off, giggling foolishly.

“You’re still hard. Come to my room and we’ll take care of it” said Nicholas as he toyed with Dylan.

“Your room? Why not mine?”

“Jessica is under your room and is here, and Tyler is under mine and gone.”

“OH yeah…your room then.”

Dried off, dirty clothes in hand, Dylan eased the door open to dart across the hall. He froze, and Nicholas turned to see why.

“OH, hey Jessica, what’s up?” Nicholas asked in his most innocent of voices.

“I was going to ask you the same thing. Jesus, what were you two doing in there? Wait…don’t answer that,” Jessica replied, walking off, heading to the stair, “I really don’t want to know.”

Dylan was frozen, not sure what to say, but behind him the giggling started, then laughing that made him do the same. “Shit, Nicholas, it’s not funny,” he scolded as he laughed too.

Towels draped over a chair, Nicholas lay back on his bed, pulling Dylan down on top. He spread his legs letting the lean body nestle between them. He felt the erection press into his abdomen, and he pushed up, increasing the pressure, knowing it would make it grow harder. A hand slipped between them, he fondled Dylan until his fingers were wet.

“Do me” Nicholas whispered in Dylan’s ear, then he tongued it, tugged on the earlobe stirring Dylan into action. Knees raised, he felt wet cock touch him, felt the push and he opened to it. “OH…yeah…do it” he uttered as Dylan sank into his depths.

Dylan couldn’t hold back, not this, his first time. He pumped his cock at a steady pace, pushing inward all the way. Nicholas egged him on, pleaded with him to fuck harder, faster, and Dylan moved over him and fucked as hard as he could. All too soon, Dylan cried out and jammed his hips against Nicholas as he ejaculated wad after wad into Nicholas’s depths.

Dylan fell on top of Nicholas breathing hard. Nicholas twirled his fingers in Dylan’s hair, lightly traced them down the long neck and across the freckled shoulders. Then he hugged him, shifting into a comfortable position where both drifted off to sleep.

Nicholas led Dylan to the kitchen, the two of them in shorts and t-shirts, refreshed from their nap. It was dark out and the television played in the dining room where muted voices could be heard at times.

“Sandwich or do you want me to cook something?” Dylan asked as he looked in the refrigerator.

“Let’s just eat a sandwich. I’ve got some chips and these” Nicholas replied, holding up a bag of chocolate chip cookies.

“Damn. We should not be eating that.”

“We’ll work it off later” Nicholas replied, smiling mischievously.

Nicholas followed Dylan into the dining where Jessica and Megan sat with a couple of their friends. Sitting on the side opposite of the television and at each end, it left Dylan and Nicholas sitting with their backs to the television.

“What are you guys watching?”

“A horror flick” Megan replied.

Jessica smirked, then corrected Megan. “It’s a documentary on climate change.”

“Which one?” Dylan asked turning to look at the television. “I’ve seen this one; it’s good.”

“So, you guys are?” Megan asked, looking at Dylan, then Nicholas.

“We are…what?” Dylan asked.

“Jesus Dylan, we could hear you guys earlier” said Jessica, smiling and shaking her head.

“And what is up with you?” Megan asked, looking straight at Nicholas.

“Huh?”

“A few days ago, you were with Tyler and now” Megan replied, looking at Dylan. “Is Brandon next?” she added, smirking.

“What? NO! Tyler was just…that was nothing.”

“Nothing but your first time, I bet.”

“My…what…okay, so yes but…”

“Relax Nicholas. We’re just giving you grief. It’s okay if you want to fuck all the guys in the house.”

“No…I…”

“Dylan, what about you? You good?”

Dylan had kept his head down while Nicholas got grilled, but he looked up smiling, “I’m good.”

Nicholas laughed, then the others followed suit.

“Is this just fucking around?” Megan asked after they settled down.

“I hope not” Nicholas replied, looking sheepishly at Dylan.

“I hope not, too” Dylan added.

Sunday dawned with bright sunny skies and temperatures warming back up. The house stirred awake slowly, with the smell of coffee drifting through the first floor and up the stair. Brandon and Jessica were first in the kitchen and Tyler came in, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Good morning…I think” said Tyler as he poured a cup of coffee.

“Good morning” Jessica and Brendan replied in unison.

“What did I miss last night?” Tyler asked as he leaned against the counter.

“What do you mean?” Jessica asked as she watched Brandon fry eggs.

“Well, I swore I heard…upstairs in the middle of the night. It sounded like…but it couldn’t have been.”

“You heard Dylan up in Nicholas’s room?”

“Yes! I heard him…so they are…”

“Yep.”

Tyler laughed, shaking his head. He lifted the coffee cup to his lips but stopped. “You think it’s serious?”

“I think so. It might have been you instead if you were serious.”

Tyler scoffed, then looked at Jessica. “I’m not what Nicholas needs, and we all know it.” He pushed off the counter and left the room.

“That sounded a bit grim” said Brandon.

“But he’s right. I think he’s just playing the field not sure what he wants.”

“He knows what he wants; he’s just scared to admit it” Nicholas replied as he walked into the room, followed by Dylan.

“We’re going to the diner over on Hamilton Street. Anyone want to go?” Dylan asked.

“We’ve got our breakfast cooked” Brendan replied as he held a plate out to Jessica.

“And everyone else is still asleep, except for Tyler but he never eats breakfast” said Jessica.

“Well, I guess it is just the two of us” said Nicholas as he took Dylan by the hand and started out.

Dylan looked at Nicholas’s hand holding his own, then up at Jessica and Brendan, smiling broadly. “I guess it’s just the two of us.”

Three Years Later

Nicholas coasted up the sidewalk to the steps. He looked up at Chris and Elizabeth sitting on the wicker sofa, each reading a different textbook. From inside music played just loud enough to hear, and someone was coming down the hall, their silhouette growing larger and larger through the door.

“Hey guys, is Dylan back from class?”

“Not yet” said Jae as he came out onto the porch.

Nicholas carried his bike up the steps and into the house. The familiar nature of it was comforting, the creaking floors and the paint that was peeling in some corners and all the mixed matched furniture, everyone contributing their own to the whole. Dylan and he were the last of the original gang from when he first moved in, all the other rooms occupied by new roommates. But even with different people, each with their own backgrounds, the feel of the house was the same.

Door unlocked and pushed open he saw his mail laying on the floor where someone slid it underneath. There was a letter from his Uncle and a few pieces of junk mail and on bottom, a letter from Tyler. He set his bike in its corner and dropped down on his bed and tore the letter open.

Nicholas

How’s the house with all new roommates? Crazy as always, I trust. I’ve taken another job here in Seattle and hopefully this one will be what was promised. 

Tell Dylan hi and I hope everything is still going well. You’ll be glad to know I’ve met someone who isn’t a one night only kind of guy. He seems to understand me, if you know what I mean. 

It was good to hear about your plans. I think those cities could be good choices. Have you thought about Seattle? I’ll put you guys up if you come this way. It’s hard to believe you two will graduate next spring. I laugh at the memory of Dylan, then you, showing up at the house that first time.

I’m glad we’re staying in touch like this. Write when you can. Hell, I do miss you guys.

Tyler

Nicholas tossed the mail on the bed, stood up and stripped off his sweaty shirt. He grabbed up his towel and toiletries and headed to the bathroom. It had been a long day, working early at the greenhouses, sitting through all his classes, then another shift at the greenhouses. In the bathroom, he stripped off his shorts and boxers and stepped into the tub to shower. He increased the temperature till it steamed up the bathroom. He held his head down under the spray letting the water flow through his hair and cascade down around his face.

The door squeaked open and Nicholas smiled. He heard the movement then the pull of the curtain.

“Make room for me” said Dylan coming up behind him.

Hands moved confidently, knowingly over Nicholas’s back, over his shoulders, then around to his chest. They rubbed his chest and stomach then stroked his growing erection. He was guided around out from under the shower and lips touched his neck as Dylan grew erect, pushing it against Nicholas’s ass.

It seemed no time, and Dylan was inside Nicholas, easing inward all the way. They fucked slowly, each focused on the feel of the other. Dylan pulled Nicholas upright, hugging their bodies together. As he pumped his cock in Nicholas’s depths, he reached around and manipulated him. Brought him to the point of release. Nicholas moved within Dylan’s arms increasing the sensation of their fuck. He grew harder, his cock so sensitive he didn’t think he could take much more. He shuddered and cried out as Dylan pushed inward all the way.