Amateur Action: Hung Daddy Unloads on SUV

The open driver's side door clearly tells us this is his Range Rover, so his ownership and actions are sacrosanct. Nothing scandalous or behaviorally questionable here.

Public nudity and ejaculating on one's own vehicle are behaviors I would greatly appreciate in my own neighborhood. I just see someone washing and waxing their motorcycle sometimes. Not the same thing.

Besides, a motorcycle doesn't have enough surface area to reflect a fully nude, upright masturbating man like this shiny, black vehicle does. And what creative camera work! The showoff is the Steven Spielberg of public ejaculations on Range Rovers.

I wonder if he thought carefully about his own exhibitionist tendencies when making his buying decision, ruling out tiny cars that he couldn't hide behind in an emergency. And I'm curious if he's ever used his considerable penis size to get out of a ticket if he happens to be caught by the authorities.

Most of all, I would like the ability to morph myself into a Range Rover so he can stand next to me masturbating. I promise I'm solar-powered and very low mileage. He could make great use of me.

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