Ask GayDemon: Grindr Guest

I met a guy who was traveling from Sydney on holiday. It was a Grindr hookup and a one night stand. We've chatted a hell of a lot since he went home and now he wants to come back to visit. Isn't it a bit soon to be hosting him for a week or two?

-Host with the Most

Yes, so totally do it! But don't think of it as hosting. Rather consider it temporary kidnapping with you as the captor. Not literally of course. But in every other sense.

So is him being there not giving you enough space? Go out with him to a bar then ditch him and change the locks to your house. Then sleep easy with earplugs in while he bangs on the door and calls your cell. You can later claim you couldn't find him at the bar so went home assuming he took a cab or something. And that you forgot you'd scheduled a locksmith to change the locks that evening. Because he's dependent on staying with you, he won't say anything.

And if you're really lucky, maybe he likes being treated like crap. If so, he's a keeper! Relationships last longer when one (not both) people can handle being treated badly.

If you're worried about him stealing your stuff (I mean money or other valuables, not something reasonable to steal like your underwear) then tell him you get into being a bondage top. He can't really steal much when he's tied up. And as a bonus, you blindfold him and use the time to go through his luggage.

This isn't a hotel. He doesn't get to steal the towels or soap. There are a lot of horror stories about Airbnb (that company where people rent out their homes like hotel rooms and guests fuck shit up). So don't let him do that, but you can think about turning it into AirPnP to be followed by AirBB.

Or maybe, just maybe, you two really like each other and you can think of this as a way to get to know each other better in a compressed amount of time. This might be your future husband. So enjoy the mystery while you can. And if he eats all your ketchup or drinks all your orange juice or pisses on the toilet lid or cums on your face as a greeting then he's definitely your future husband.

Oh wait, he's from Sydney? Hell no. Australians are sketchy. Change the locks now. Trust me, I've learned everything I know about Australians from mainstream U.S. television, the most unbiased source of information in the galaxy.

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