Amateur Action: Muscle Pig Solo Fuck

Screw all the flowery self-help books and spiritual exploration TV shows. Want a true vision of self-love? Here you go.

It involves getting intensely enamored of how one looks in a pair of wonderfully obscene cut-off shorts and obscenely wonderful thong. Add some brightly lit, oiled-up muscle and you get an out of control, aggressively exhibitionist sex pig who fucks himself like a sweet and demanding lover would.

The higher-ups at the company that makes his lube should give him a sponsorship. And his apartment cleaner should give him a thank you card for paying their way through medical school. I sure hope he has hardwood floors.

Catch how he's watching himself on a monitor? That screen is so blown out with vibrantly X-rated pixels, he probably goes through as many monitors as he does bottles of lube.

If only I had some evidence of his conversational abilities, we'd be a perfect pair. I'd even do his laundry for him. It may be filthy, but it only weighs three ounces.

Read our Butt Machine Boys review