Ask GayDemon: Strip-Searched and Turned On

I'm a 31 year old straight guy who was arrested for possession of pot. I had to be strip-searched and ever since I've been obsessed and fascinated with what happened. I was so aroused being naked and inspected by officers. Does this make me gay?

-Aroused and Confused

It's completely true that you can get up one day and go about your normal business of shopping for groceries, getting a haircut and possessing illegal drugs when bam, something makes you gay. It used to be that stepping on a crack in the sidewalk would turn you gay, which would so freak out your mother that she would break her back in a homophobic stress-related injury. Thus the saying "step on a crack, break your mother's back" since the full version was too long.

But once people realized cracks in the sidewalk were turning 31 year old straight guys gay (I'm not talking about you), there was a great effort to fix these cracks, at least to the point they weren't tripping any straight guys. That's why in the more conservative, gay-hating towns, the sidewalks are nicer.

In your case, the strip searching, presumably by male officers or why else would you be asking, was arousing. I'm guessing this was a new experience for you. You haven't been aroused by a doctor's exam for instance. And you weren't really that aroused by that one time you and your buddy got drunk and he fucked you in the mouth. Or probably that last one didn't happen. Since you're totally straight. It was definitely a girl who fucked you in the mouth.

Now normally in a scary situation, sexual arousal is the absolute last thing that happened. Your energy is all focused on dealing with the threat at hand as best you can, and not so much on rushing blood to your cock. But I don't know if you got an erection or not. The point is, whether in the moment, or in retrospect you were totally aroused.

No, this doesn't make you gay. No this doesn't mean you're gay. But it does mean you have a fetish for some combination of authority figures, embarrassment, shame and yes, strip searches. You may have been equally or even more aroused had it been female officers.

So you should totally keep getting arrested as much as possible by as many different types of officers as you can find. Now even I will admit that's a horrible idea. But what you can do is explore your kink with pretend cops. Maybe even pretend you're trying to smuggle drugs through the border (with the border being your bedroom door and the officer being a guy or girl play partner, or both, dressed up as border security).

You can head to YouTube and find a bunch of those border security shows. Study that to help build up the scene. But skip the illegal drugs next time and hide a butt plug up your ass. Except when you buy one, make sure to ask the clerk for the kind for staight assholes, not the kind of butt plug that would make you gay.

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