Ask GayDemon: An Immodest Proposal

I want to propose to my boyfriend but I'm not sure how to pop the question in an exciting way. Radical ideas very welcome!
-Ready to Pop

You could make a giant production number and record it for YouTube viral posterity. Like a musical number starring family and friends, culminating in a grand proposal atop a grand piano on the Grand Concourse of Grand Central Station while a grandma fucks herself with a gravy-lubed dildo while grinning.

But YouTube would ban the video and you'd never get on Ellen to win a free vacation to Hawaii. 

So, as someone who has been married so many times that I actually broke the laws of love physics ad have more divorces than marriages, I'm for sure the expert on romance.

You could just discuss it all with hi up front. Say you want to have a proposal contest and the one whose proposal is more spectacular wins by the recipient saying yes to the marriage. While the less spectacular proposal means other one loses by being dumped.

This may create sort of an alternate universe for the other relationship possibility. A universe in which you're single. Which is fine because you're always free to buy a husband in that universe. Some guy desperate for 15 cents who will love you for it.

For me, it needs to be about him, about you, about the two of you. Personalized. Not grand for grand's sake.

I'm kind of nerdy so a dream proposal to me (and there could be many dream proposals, not just one perfect one) would be like a scavenger hunt, puzzle thing. Perhaps some hints or clues would start to pop up. Carefully orchestrated coincidences. Hearing your song in random spots like a "stranger" street performer near you both playing the song on a guitar, or your song playing in a clothing boutique "randomly".

Then literal clues. Found objects. A map. Some adventure together with suspense. And you're both in it together. Then it all comes together in some magical surprise that you'll have to figure out.

Just don't make it drag out too long. Because depending where you are, you probably want to put a ring on it sooner rather than later. And also a ring on his finger.

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