Public Exposure: Guys Who Can't Help It

30 Mar 2017

Public Exposure: Guys Who Can't Help It

Does your body repel clothes? Does your zipper unzip itself? Do your pants fall off when you blink?

Then you too can be publicly obscene. And I'll give you a gold star for it. That little stick-on gold star that says you've done well. You've done the right thing. Your life is going smashingly.

Though the next moment you may be arrested for public lewdness because you were getting jacked off on the street, I still applaud you.

Public Exposure: Guys Who Can't Help It

Then after you pay your fine, I'll drive you to the park where you can take off all your clothes and do that thing guys do in which they touch themselves sexually. There's a word for it but I can't remember. Starts with N or Z or something. 

Nasturbate? Zasturbate? Something like that.

And I get that sometimes nudity is just nudity but unless you're fully at a nudist gathering, it means something more. So if you're naked in the actual non-nudist camp world, you're a guy who can't help it. 

And this is the sound of me applauding, which sounds suspiciously like masturbating. That's it! That's the word I was looking for! Bam! Squirt! Zowee!