In advance of the upcoming Summer Olympics, in which crew teams will grace the world sports stage with their insanely fit, spandex-clad bodies, enjoy this insanely fit, shirtless, pretend rower doing his thing.

He must owe the gym, or fuck the guy who owns the gym, or own the gym and fuck himself (who owns the gym) because gyms don't generally allow shirtless workouts. I think I would let the rules bend for him. And I would bend over for him. Like to tie his shoes.

Shirtless pretend rowing should be an Olympic sport. And as a plus, he's not at risk of being infected by the myriad sludge and parasites the host city admits will be festooning their waters. They just can't clean up in time, as promised. Environmental destruction has a way of being destructive.

So boat racers and yikes, triathletes, and anyone else competing above or in the water has to get about 1,000 injections. And not the cock injection kind. The hey I don't want to get Hepatitis Z. Or gangrene 74 or phlebitis 62. 

I'm not a doctor so these may not be water-borne things. But what is water-borne is that I need to drink water because this guy is making my mouth go dry. Would licking his sweaty chest and abs and biceps count as drinking water? Just nod yes in my direction.

Am I about to mimic this exercise? Or encourage you to? Nope. I do encourage you to jerk off to him though. In rhythm. 

Does that make me a masturbation enabler? Yes and yes!


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