© Robbie Webb 2012

I'm having a wank one night in my flat watching some porn when there's a knock on my door. So like I put my dressing gown on and I go to the door.

"Who is it?"

"It's Bob. Bob Deakin."

He's this lad on the estate. I don't really know him. He's a mate of my older brother's.

"Can I use your bog? I'm dying for a fucking piss."

"Er.. hold on a minute."

Shit. I can't let him see that I'm watching porn. I go and turn the video off. I can hear Bob shouting.

"Hurry up! What you doing? I'm gonna piss myself here!"

I don't really wanna let him in but he's a fucking psycho. You don't upset Bob. I open the door, let him in and he goes straight to the bathroom. Takes his piss, goes on forever, must have a big fucking dick. He finally finishes then joins me on the sofa. I'm confused why he couldn't do it outside.

"Why didn't you piss in the street like any normal person would do?"

He puts his arm round me.

"Are you saying you don't want me to be here, you bastard?"

He's proper fucking big, Bob. He's a fucking headcase as well. One of the hardest people in town. Like I said, he's my brother's mate. I don't really know him that well. Only thing I know about him really is that he's a fucking nutcase. Been inside for GBH. It's a miracle that he hasn't killed anybody.

Anyway, he says, "Come on then, get us a fucking can. Fuck, you're worse than your kid, you are."

He's proper pissed and stinks of alcohol. Yeah, but I'm not gonna tell him, am I? Coz I'm pretty fond of my features and I don't fancy hospital food. So I get him a can of lager from the fridge, one for myself. So we're sitting there on the sofa drinking our lager.

He puts his arm round me again.

"You're a rum lad, you are."

He gives me a bear hug, almost crushes me.

He says, "So what have you been doing tonight then all on your own in your flat? You should've come out, have a drink with me and your kid."

Then he.. oh fuck.. he sees the DVD case, the porno that I've been watching. I thought I'd kicked it behind the telly out of sight. Obviously hadn't kicked it hard enough. He picks it up off the floor, sits back next to me on the sofa.

"So.. been having a wank then, have you?"

I go bright red. I'm just glad it wasn't one of my gay pornos. I usually wank off over my gay porn but I do have a couple of straight pornos. They're teenage sex ones and the straight lads are well fit. I love wanking off over them straight lads.

Anyway, Bob.. he says, "Let's have a look at your dick then?"

What? He opens my dressing gown. He opens my fucking dressing gown! What's all that about? I'm fucking naked under my dressing gown and he opens it up and he looks at my dick.

He takes a good look at it.

"Not very big, is it? It should be bigger than that if you've been playing with it, lad. Mine's bigger than that and I've not been playing with mine."

"Yeah, well you're a lot bigger than me. You're bound to have a bigger cock."

He lets go of my dressing gown and I wrap it round my body.

He laughs.

"Look at you. You're like a fucking girl. What's up with you?"

"It's cold."

Then he says, "This is a cock, mate."

Bob. Pyscho Bob, he gets his cock out. Lobs it out of his jeans. Fuck me. It's massive, a big fat cut dick. It's not hard but it's fucking massive.

He sits there dead proud like, showing it off to me, flopping it about.

"That is a proper cock, mate. That's a man's cock, that is."

"Yeah, that's well big, Bob."

"It's not big, mate. It's fucking massive."

"Yeah it is. It's fucking massive, Bob."

He just sits there with his legs spread, his big meaty dong hanging out of his jeans.

"Shagged half of the birds on the estate with this, mate."

Then he goes and pulls his balls out. Fuck me, they are proper massive as well. Like fucking coconuts.

He holds one of his balls in the palm of his hand.

"That's bigger than both your balls put together, innit?"

"Yeah. Can't argue with that, Bob. Your cock and balls are fucking massive."

He grabs his cock and flops it about.

"Bet yours isn't that big when it's hard, is it?"

"That's awesome, Bob."

He opens up my dressing gown again. Fuck, I can't exactly stop him.

He says, "What the fuck you wearing this frock for, you big puff?"

"It's not a frock. It's a dressing gown."

"Yeah. Whatever."

He takes the dressing gown off me. I'm sitting there naked next to psycho Bob. This is well awkward. He looks at my dick. I cover it up with my hands. He pulls my hands away.

"What's up with you? You're like a big girl."

It's just that I feel so inferior with him having such a big cock like. Then he says something proper weird.

"Come on then, lad. Get it hard. I bet my soft cock is bigger than your boner."

"What? I'm not getting no fucking hard-on with you sitting there."

Then he goes and grabs hold of my dick.

He says, "What's up with you? Can't you get it up?"

I have no probs getting a boner once he starts tugging on it. My cock gets rock solid in psycho Bob's hand. He lets go of fit and it slaps hard against my belly. This is weird. It's well gay. I'm sitting here naked next to my brother's psycho mate with my boner throbbing along my belly.

He looks at my boner.

"Not bad. Bigger than what I'd thought it'd be. Yeah, that's ok, lad."

"Cheers, Bob."

I reach for my dressing gown but he takes it off me and throws it across the room.

He puts his arm round me. Nearly fucking crushes me again.

"Watch my fucking ribs."

He laughs.

This is the weirdest thing ever. I feel well horny. I can't feel anything else really, can I? Pyscho Bob has just got my cock hard for me. Then he drops his jeans and boxers.

He says, "Fuck it. We're lads. There's nothing queer about lads getting their cocks hard together. We can have a cock fight if you want."

"Fuck that for a game of soldiers! I'd have no chance!"

He laughs. He gets naked with me. Never in a million years would I have thought I'd ever be naked with psycho Bob in my flat. This is definitely the weirdest thing ever, me and psycho Bob sitting next to each other naked on the sofa. Proper weird but.. oh fuck.. do I feel horny or what?

Bob plays with his cock.

"Put that porno back on. I'll show you what a proper hard-on looks like."

I get up of the sofa and Bob slaps my arse real hard.

"Fuck me, Bob! I'll have a big bruise on that tomorrow!"

He laughs.

I put the porno back on and before I sit down I get Bob another can. I sit next to him and I look at the telly - the teenage sex, boy and girl - and I stroke my cock. Bob calls me a fucking wanker. I daresn't look at him but I can see him wanking out of the corner of my eye. I want to look. Oh fuck, yeah, I want to look but dead scared in case he calls me gay and beats seven tons of shit out of me.

Then he says, "It's ok. You can look at my cock if you want."

I look and.. fuck me.. biggest fucking cock I've ever seen. It's rock solid and it's huge. No, huge is not the word. It's absolutelyfuckingenormous! He's just sitting with his big hairy legs spread and his monster cock sticking up throbbing along his belly.

"Fuck me, Bob. That's the biggest cock I've ever seen. It's fucking awesome. You should be in a porno. You can make millions out of that thing."

He has a big smile on his face.

"Yeah. That's a proper man's cock, that is, mate. Drives the girls wild when they see it."

"I bet it does."

I just sit there staring at it. I can't take my eyes off it. I'm absolutely mesmerised by it. Just sit there wanking myself off looking at Bob's big monster cock.

"Fuckin' 'ell, lad! Are you in love with my cock or what?"

Shit. Didn't realise how much I was starting at it.

"Sorry, Bob. It's just that.. it's amazing! How do you manage to get it up when it's that big? Is it all done with mirrors or what? It's incredible! It's fantastic!"

I say loadsa things but.. oh fuck.. it's when I say, "It's beautiful".. and the way I say it.

I look up at Bob and he's giving me a funny look.

He says, "I only got my cock hard to show you what a proper man's cock looks like."

"Yeah, I know, Bob. When I said it's beautiful I meant like.. I wish mine was like that coz like.. well, it is beautiful but like I didn't mean like.. "

"I know what you meant. You're a fucking arse bandit, aren't you?"

I take my hand off my dick.

"No, Bob."

"You're one of them fucking shirt lifters."

"This porno's well hot, innit? Look at her tits, Bob."

I start stroking my cock again.

"Oooh! Imagine putting your dick between them tits, Bob."

Bob gets up and turns the telly off, his monster cock swinging back and to. He stands facing me with his monster cock sticking out.

I'm shitting myself.

"Put the video back on, Bob. I was nearly jizzing my load over that bird's cunt."

Bob takes hold of his cock at the base and wiggles it up and down, his purple helmet slapping against his belly.

He says, "It's a great cock, innit?"

"Yeah, Bob. It's amazing. Are we gonna carry on watching the porno then or what?"

"Shut the fuck up, queer boy!"

I shut the fuck up.

"So, you think it's beautiful, eh?"

"Well.. like I said, Bob.. I.. I wish mine was like that.. that big and yeah, when I said it's beautiful like, I.. "

"It is beautiful. If I could kiss it I would."


I'm scared stiff of opening my mouth now. Don't know what to say in case he takes it the wrong way.

Then Pyscho Bob says, "Suck it.. queer boy!"

Oh fuck. I don't like it when he raises his voice. If Bob tells you to do something you do it, no questions asked. I'm shit scared. But then he notices I'm scared and he gently pulls me up off the sofa.

"Sorry, lad. I didn't mean to shout."

I give a nervous laugh.

"It's just when you said.. you know.. suck it.. ha.. like can you imagine that, Bob? You having a boy sucking your cock.. ha.. "

He puts his hand on my shoulder.

"Do you not want to suck it then?"

Oh fuck. He looks and sounds really pissed off.

"You.. you really want me to suck your cock?"

"What? So you're not queer then?"

"Well.. if you really want me to suck it then I will suck it.. if you really want me to, Bob."

"No. Forget I ever said it. I just thought.. Forget it."

He picks his boxers up off the floor and he's about to step into 'em when I stop him. He looks well and proper pissed off.

"No, Bob. Don't get dressed."


"Don't get dressed. This is fun. Me, you, lads having a bit of fun."

"You're doing my fucking head in, you are."

"I.. I do wanna suck it, Bob."

"Are you just messing me about coz if you are, mate.. "

"No, Bob. I wannan suck it. Oh fuck, yeah. Course I do."

"Right. So you are queer then?"

"Yeah, Bob. Yeah, I must be. I dunno. But yeah, I do wanna suck it for you."

He lets go of his boxers and stands there naked and all boned up.

I get down on my knees. Bob stands and waits.

"Before you suck it, I'm not a fucking queer. Right?"


"I'm just letting you suck my cock coz you wanna suck it. Right?"

"Yeah, I know, Bob."

"But I'm ok with you being queer and I'll let you suck it coz you wanna suck it."

"I know, Bob."

"Well go on then. Fuckin' 'ell, lad. Not got all fuckin' night!"

I wrap my hand round the base of his monster cock.

"Fuck me, Bob, it's as thick as a can of coke."

"Yeah, well your gob's big enough."

"Not sure it is, Bob."

I pull his cock away from his body. His boner is well strong and it takes some strength pulling it away from his big hairy body. I have to use both hands. I wrap both hands round his monster cock, pull it away from his body, bring my mouth to the head. His cockhead's enormous and I can feel the heat from it before it touches my lips.

I look up at him as he stands there towering above me.

"I don't think I'll be able to get it all in my mouth, Bob."

"Just do your best, cock. There's a good lad."

My lips stretch wide round the huge silky hot bell-end. I have trouble getting his helmet into my mouth, never mind the rest of his dick. Only manage to get an inch or two of his shaft into my mouth. My mouth is full of Bob's cock. His helmet, it's pressing against the roof of my mouth, pressing down on my tongue, pushing against the sides of my cheeks, throbbing at the back of my throat. My mouth is hot with the incredible heat from his cock. I suck his cock hard. Play with his heavy balls as I suck hard on his monster cock, my lips proper stretched.

He holds on to my head with his huge hands. It's like my head's in a vice.

He's going, "Oh yeah! Suck it, cock! There's a good lad! Suck it! Suck it!"

Thank God it doesn't take much sucking to make him cum. He shoots gallons of spunk in my mouth. I never had a cock shoot that much jizz before. I swallow some but loads of the stuff dribbles down my chin. I take my mouth off his cock. Doesn't last long but fuck, it's the most incredible experience ever having such a monster cock in my mouth. And I shoot my load with his monster cock squirting in my mouth.

I stand up. Bob sits down on the sofa. I sit down next to him and he gives me a bear hug, almost breaks my ribs.

"You're a rum lad, you are."

I get us both another can. He says I must never tell anybody what we just did.

"Der.. no brainer. I do value my life, Bob."

We sit there for a while not saying nothing, just drink our lager.

Then Bob says, "That's the first time anybody's ever sucked my cock."

"What? You mean like, the first time you've let a boy suck it?"

"Well yeah obviously it's the first time I've let a boy suck my cock coz I'm not queer, am I? I told you that."

"And like.. you're telling me this is the first time anybody's ever sucked your cock?"

"That's what I just said."

"Fuck off, Bob. I don't believe that."

"Straight up. When the girls see how big it is - well, none of 'em have been brave enough to put it in their mouth."

I can believe that.

Bob gives me another big hug and says, "Thanks, mate."

We both sit there for a bit just drinking our cans then Bob, he puts his arm round me.

"How about if I, like.. How about if say I come round here once a week and like we have a few cans and you suck my cock?"

I put my hand on Bob's arm - fuck me, he's got some biceps on him - and I give him a big smile.

"Bob, you can come round here as many times as you like. I'll suck it for you every night if you want me to."

Bob downs his can of lager.

"Go and get us another can then, you puff."

The above story is taken from my Kindle book SCALLY BOY DREAMER Volume 5, available on Amazon


Robbie Webb


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