Why is life so difficult? Why can't it be simple? Why is there always complications? Why is there always something or someone standing in our way on our road to happiness?

My life is complicated. Come on, who's is not? It's just that, I'm actually alone. Yeah I have friends and family who supports me. But at the end you are alone.

My name is John. Let me start by telling you how I look. I'm not your typical muscle jock. I'm not a hottie. I'm average. With a bit more on the sides. Let's just say. I'm a teddy bear. I'm quite tall. 1.9m. On the scale I clock in at 105kg's. I have dark hair and hazel eyes. I can't say my hair color because I change it ever so often. Atm its auburn red, mixed with a bit of hazel brown.

I'm 21 years old and I'm in my third year of studies. I'm majoring in drama. Studying has its ups and downs.

Let me start my story. When I was 13 years old I was a happy child. I had great friends. My parents was the coolest ever. I was just happy. But then something happened that turned my whole world upside down.

One day I was invited to my friend's birthday party. We all went home with him after school. And at 6 o'clock the girls would've joined us. We were in and out of the pool. Listening to music and all that. Just generally having a good time. That's when my friends brother came to me. His name was Kevin. Kevin was 16 years old and already in high school.

Kevin was tall, with dark hair and dark brown eyes. He had a slight tan since it was summer. He was a nice bloke. Always greeted and talked to us as equals. Well tonight he wanted to talk privately. I didn't know what it was about. So I followed him to his room.

We came in his room he told me to sit on the bed. He pulled his desk chair over and sat in front of me. He just looked at me. I was freaked out. I didn't know what to do or say. Then he leaned over and kissed me. Only softly. Just brushing his lips on mine. And I felt this jolt of electricity. But then he pulled away. Stormed out of the room. On his way out he mumbled something about 'sorry' but I couldn't hear the rest of it.

So there I was. Sitting. I was just kissed by a boy 3 years my senior. I didn't know what to do. I mean. I was 13. I was still suppose to play with cars. And play outside with my friends. Because that is what kids my age still do. They don't go around and kissing their friend's brothers.

For the next few weeks I was so confused I didn't know what to do. I was all alone. I couldn't talk to anyone. I was scared of their reaction. My schoolwork was lagging behind. I wasn't in the mood to do sports anymore.

Then I saw him again. In the shopping mall. ' Where the fuck have you been?' I asked him. ' I've been busy!'. I got angry. 'Busy with what??? Kissing other 13 year old boys and confusing them??'. His face turned sad. ' No! I would never do that, it's been busy at school lately that's all. But I promise you. We have holiday in 2 weeks then we can talk it all out.' I believed him. And so he left.

Despite myself, I was actually kind of excited for the holidays to come. I was excited to see Kevin again. But he never showed that holiday. When we returned to school we just heard that his parents got a divorce, and my friend (his younger brother) moved away with his mom. I don't know what happened to kevin. I was actually just getting used to my feelings. And now he's gone.

So my final year at primary school ended and it was time to move on to highschool. It was a bad time for me. I was scared for higschool, I didn't know what to expect. I was confused with these feelings of liking boys. And it made me sick to my stomach.

The feelings was killing me. There was no one to talk to. I had to deal with this on my own.

It took me a while to make new friends. It was only after 4 months that I finally found a good friend. His name was Keegan. He was a nice bloke. My body type. Nice guy. We grew closer as the year came to a end. At the end of that year I decided I trusted him enough with my secret.

'Keegan. Can I tell you something?'. ' Sure buddy! What's up?' . 'Well, I think I'm gay'. He was silent for a moment and then he said. ' I know. I gathered that much'. I was stunned. 'Am I that obvious?' He laughed and said: ' no, I just know u well by now. But buddy, I don't mind you being gay. You're my best friend, and nothing will change that'. I got a warm feeling inside of me, and he gave me a hug. The moment was so special.

So me and Keegan's friendship just grew stronger by the day. By the time we were at the end of our 2nd year in high school we were inseparable. We did everything together. Like twins.

Kevin was out of my life. Sometimes I think about him. But not that much. To me he was dead.

The 3rd year of high school was a big year for me. I turned 16, I had to choose my majoring subjects. And I met Shawn.

One day in March I went to watch a friend of mine play a big tennis tournament. She was in the finals. The game went on for a while. After so many tries my friend finally won the game. Afterwards we were standing and talking with her opponent, who she is great friends with. Then a guy came over, walking in our direction.

He had a light-olive complexion. Dark brown hair. He was quite short. Not realy built. I guessed him about 70 kg's. But he was gorgeous. And he walked with this attitude that screams confidence.

' Hi my name is Shawn'. He came directly to me and held out his hand. 'I'm John, nice to meet you'. 'Likewise' , he replied with a gorgeous smile. And then he started talking. And my liking in him disappeared. He was cocky, and the whole time he was talking about himself. I didn't like him anymore. And so we left, and I forgot all about him. Until...

2 weeks later my phone rang. I answered. ' Hello?'. 'Hi is this John?' The voice sounded familiar, but I couldn't place it. ' Yeah, this is him'. ' Good, its me, Shawn, how are you doing'. I couldn't believe it. Where did this bastard get my number, and why the fuck is he calling me?. ' Uhm, I'm good, just tell me why you are calling me?'. 'Well, I'm just calling to say that I'm picking you up tonight at 7, don't dress-up, dress casual, just no shorts'

I'm like stunned. I couldn't get a word out. And he just said ' good, then I'll see you tonight'. Then he hung up. I stood there with my phone against my ears for a long time. Trying to understand what happened just now.

' You look nice'. That was what he greeted me with at my front door. I didn't even ask where he got my address and infact, I didn't care. ' Thanks, I guess' was my reply. I was so uncomfortable. 'So, where are we going?'. I asked nervously, looking around for his car, but I could only see a bike...

'I'm taking you around to the beach to watch the sunset with a cocktail, and then we are going to go eat something at a nice small restaurant that has the best burgers in town, and then we can see where the night leads us'. I wasn't really listening because all I could think about was that bike. ' And I'm taking that's your bike?' I asked, my voice screamed uncertainty.

' That's the one, a beauty, isn't she?'. He was sooooo cocky.

' She sure is' I tried to sound honest, but I could see he just wanted to burst out in laughter.

' Don't look so frightened, I'm a safe driver, and I have got you a extra helmet'.

To my honest surprise, he was right. I felt free on the back of that bike. Holding on to his tight abs, while he was driving this magnificent machine between our legs. We were swooping through the cars at a enormous speed. We arrived at the beach much quicker than I expected. And we went into a nice cocktail lounge on the beach. The sky is just beginning to turn light pink. There wasn't a wind or any clouds in sight. It was a perfect night. However, I was still skeptical about this person sitting opposite me.

' So tell me about yourself John'. We were sitting on the deck outside and he lit a cigarette. ' Well I'm 16, as you know. I'm gay. I don't do sports and I'm not very strong in the religion department. I love music. I love my friends. That about sums it up'. I was more relaxed now. ' And what about you?'.

Well, I'm 17. I love sports. I love bikes. I'm not a huge music fan, but I'm a movie fanatic. And yeah. I'm gay'. Well I figured that much. Because otherwise all this never would've happened. I began to warm up to him.

'You know what bothers me? Where did you get my number and address?' I tried to keep calm, but I can feel this sudden urge to lash out at him. I mean. Who gives him the right to invade my privacy.

I was dumb and naïve. His reply was: ' John, there is something you should know about me. I know what I want. And I usually get what I want. And I want you. And no matter what I'll have to do to get you, I will do it.'

That was the end of it. I stood up. And practically screamed at him. ' Who the fuck do you think you are, you fucking narrow-minded testosterone-loaded jock-thing. You think you can just come in here and take over my...' The rest of my speech was smothered by his lips.

He kissed me. The little fucker kissed me. His tongue lashed out at my lips like a snake lashes out on it's pray. It was divine. He was making me weak. Then he retreated his tongue. And unlocked our lips.

' That's what I want to say. This whole jock, self-absorbed is just a act. Its a act to protect myself from being hurt. And once you told me what I am, I had to kiss you, because I knew you wouldn't hurt me'.

I was dumb struck. I didn't know what to say. I just stood there. Other people just stared a us. An older lady at the table next to us gave me a thumbs up. I smiled at her. I looked back into his beautiful brown eyes. We sat back down. And got to knew each other. Not deep stuff. Just first date stuff. But it was the best ever. After that we went for a walk on the beach. He held my hand. It felt weird, but so right.

After that we went to have dinner. We sat and talked till the restaurant closed. Then he took me home. He dropped me off, kissed me again. Deeply satisfied and totally in love, I went to bed that night. And for the first time in months I fell asleep with a smile on my face.

The next few days went as a blur. I didn't register what I was doing. My friends wondered what was going on. But I didn't want to tell them, because I still couldn't believe it. I mean. A ugly duckling like me, getting someone like him to like me (or even looking at me) is a achievement

He called me. To check on me. And we spoke for nearly a hour. He told me to keep friday night open. He was taking me out. I can wear what I'm comfortable in. I assumed we were going to a restaurant so I put on some jeans, sneakers and a nice t-shirt.

Instead he took me to a house. At first I didn't understand. But then he said, ' Welcome home,honey.' Then I understood. We were at his house. And I'm going to meet his parents. I didn't know what say, but did know what to do. I turned around and started walking down the street. He came running after me. ' Baby, they are nice people, they will love you. They know about everything'. The thing is, I was nervous. I mean. Meeting the parents is a big thing. 'We are not even official yet, and I have to meet your parents?!'. He smiled. ' That was my mom's idea. She wanted to meet you before I asked you and you say no, and she never had the chance to meet you. So let's just go in, come on. You're going to love them'.

Reluctantly, I gave in, and hand in hand we walked into there house. It was huge. And so beautiful. Not home magazine beautiful, but is was homely beautiful. I loved it. Then this tall figure walked in. It was Shawn's mom. ' Darling how are you? I'm Ellain, Shawns mom. Please call me on my first name. You must be John'. She looked me from top to bottom. Walked around me and then said. ' Shawn, you have good taste'. I felt like one of the tomatoes in my fridge at home. I couldn't stop blushing.

I also met the rest of his family. Amy, his sister, she is 24 and engaged to Tylor. His dad, whom he shares most of his looks with is Peter.

His mom is very outspoken. The questions she asks is quite personal, like: ' so John, tell me, since when have you known your gay?' And ' Is Shawn your first boyfriend? ' Does your parents know?'.

'Since I was 14. No Shawn is my second and no my parents doesn't know, and for now I'm planing on keeping it that way. I'm just not ready yet.' His mother looked at me. Gave me a hug and told me everything would be fine.

It went quite good after that. At the end. While we were cleaning the dishes. He went down on his knees, in front of his mom and siter, he asked me out:

'John. I know we have not known each other long, but I feel that if I'm no t going to do this now, I'm going to regret it. Will you be my boyfriend?

It was sooooo beautiful. Obviously said yes. His parents congratulated us. And we went out with some of his friends to celebrate.

The next few days went as a blur. I didn't register what I was doing. My friends wondered what was going on. But I didn't want to tell them, because I still couldn't believe it. I mean. A ugly duckling like me, getting someone like him to like me (or even looking at me) is a achievement

He called me. To check on me. And we spoke for nearly a hour. He told me to keep friday night open. He was taking me out. I can wear what I'm comfortable in. I assumed we were going to a restaurant so I put on some jeans, sneakers and a nice t-shirt.

Instead he took me to a house. At first I didn't understand. But then he said, ' Welcome home,honey.' Then I understood. We were at his house. And I'm going to meet his parents. I didn't know what say, but did know what to do. I turned around and started walking down the street. He came running after me. ' Baby, they are nice people, they will love you. They know about everything'. The thing is, I was nervous. I mean. Meeting the parents is a big thing. 'We are not even official yet, and I have to meet your parents?!'. He smiled. ' That was my mom's idea. She wanted to meet you before I asked you and you say no, and she never had the chance to meet you. So let's just go in, come on. You're going to love them'.

Reluctantly, I gave in, and hand in hand we walked into there house. It was huge. And so beautiful. Not home magazine beautiful, but is was homely beautiful. I loved it. Then this tall figure walked in. It was Shawn's mom. ' Darling how are you? I'm Ellain, Shawns mom. Please call me on my first name. You must be John'. She looked me from top to bottom. Walked around me and then said. ' Shawn, you have good taste'. I felt like one of the tomatoes in my fridge at home. I couldn't stop blushing.

I also met the rest of his family. Amy, his sister, she is 24 and engaged to Tylor. His dad, whom he shares most of his looks with is Peter.

His mom is very outspoken. The questions she asks is quite personal, like: ' so John, tell me, since when have you known your gay?' And ' Is Shawn your first boyfriend? ' Does your parents know?'.

'Since I was 14. No Shawn is my second and no my parents doesn't know, and for now I'm planing on keeping it that way. I'm just not ready yet.' His mother looked at me. Gave me a hug and told me everything would be fine.

It went quite good after that. At the end. While we were cleaning the dishes. He went down on his knees, in front of his mom and siter, he asked me out:

'John. I know we have not known each other long, but I feel that if I'm no t going to do this now, I'm going to regret it. Will you be my boyfriend?

It was sooooo beautiful. Obviously said yes. His parents congratulated us. And we went out with some of his friends to celebrate.

The next weekend my parents was away. They went camping with family. So I had the house to myself. I invited Shawn over. The friday night we went to one of his friend's birthday parties. It was fun. But it was to high classy for me. We went home early.

While I was in the shower, Shawn said he's going to make us some coffee. When I came out, he poured us a glass of wine. Made a bed in the living room, with candles next to it. It was stunning. 'Happy one week anniversary, babe'. I was smiling from ear to ear. ' Shawn, you shouldn't have' I kissed him and gave him a big hug, and he whispered in my ear: ' I now I don't have to, its just that I want to'.

He took the glass out of my hand. He started to kiss me. At first lightly brushing my lips, softly. Then he bought his hands to the back of my head and pushed us closer. Then I felt his tongue probing my lips. I let him in, and when his tongue touched mine I felt the electricity bolting through our bodies. I moaned softly. I tried to put my tongue in his mouth as well, but he was strong, or his tongue at least.

After what felt like hours he pulled away. We tried to gain our breath. He was the first to speak. ' Wow, what the hell was that, I haven't felt anything like that before'

'Me neither. It was so unreal!' I was lost for words. He then took my hand and led me to the mattress. 'Will you lay down please. On your back' He asked me. I had to listen. I was in a trance. I got down on my back. he squatted over me. And sat down on my crotch, where my hard cock was straight up. He just shifted it to the side and sat down.

He then came forward and kissed me again. This time with more passion and urgency. We moved our heads. I moaned and groaned into his mouth. He was slightly moving his ass over my crotch. Making me crazy with lust. Then he went for my ears. And that's my horny-spot. If you want me horny you kiss my ears. He gave them a bit of attention. Then he went down to my neck which is also very sensitive.

The I felt his hand at the bottom of my t-shirt. So I maneuvered my body so that he can take it off. He then dove for my nipples, licking them all-over and nibbling slightly on them.

'Aaaaahhh oooohh mmmyyy GOD!!!! Where does that come from???? I didn't know that men have feelings down there! Oh my word, don't stop!' I drove my cock into the general direction of his round buns. By now my cock was probably dripping with pre-cum. He shifted off my crotch, kissing my tummy all the way down. He then looked up at me. He didn't even have to ask. But I could see in his eyes he wanted my permission. I slightly nodded my head. He came forward to kiss me again. Another electric shock coursed trough our bodies. He slowly hooked his fingers inside my briefs. He started to pull. I maneuvered so he can take it off.

When I was totally naked he sat back on his hunches and just stared at me. I asked him ' and now? Why are you looking at me like that?'. He was quiet for a short time. Then he replied: ' Do you know how beautiful you really are?'

I blushed. ' No, I'm not hot'. He looked at me, then he said: ' John, I never want to hear that words out of your mouth again, do you hear me??'. He looked stern. I knew I shouldn't argue. Then he smiled. ' So where were we? Oh yeah now I remember' and he kissed the area around my crotch. I got butterflies all over. No, more like pins and needles.

My cock was rock hard. It was red. It looked angry. It needed attention. It longed to be touched. But I didn't want to hurry him. He was so sensual. And he was making me feel so good. He then looked up into my eyes. Then his hand slightly touched my cock, and I thought I was going through the roof! ' Oh my god!!! Don't stop'. He started to jerk me off. Lightly. But there was so much passion between us. My eyes were closed. I was breathing heavily. My hips was thrusting up to meet his hand. I can't explain the feeling. ' Shawn, what are you doing to me'. I opened my eyes and he was looking at me. I could feel him driving his cock into my foot. I closed my eyes again.

The feeling was wonderful. Suddenly the jerking stopped. But just before I could open my eyes, I felt something warm and wet around my cock. When I opened my eyes. He was sucking on my cock. Oh my god, that feeling. 'Uuuuuuhhhhnnnn' was all I could get out. He was sucking slowly but deliberately. I was laying there. Thrusting around. I breathed very heavy. Then he went down ons my. All the way down my 18cm cock. When his face was resting in my pubes. He started doing something with his throat muscles. I don't know what it was, but it worked. It took me to new hights. I was starting to moan louder. ' Awwww Shawn!!!!! Please don't stop...please, uuuuhhhhnnnnn, oh my god!!!!!...don't stop....aaaaaahhhh..... if you're not going to stop I'm going to flood your throat with my cum. Then he came back up again. ' Hunny, you don't have to warn me before you cum, I want you to cum in my mouth, I want to feel your cum going down my throat'. I couldn't believe my ears. Then he went down on me again. This time just sucking on the head of my cock. Flicking his tongue over my piss-slitt. Then he took my balls in his hand. Slightly rubbing them. ' Oh my god, you're going to make me cum...don't stop, please...uuuuuhhhhhhnnnn....its coming!!!! I'm on the edge!!!!! Ooooohhh mmmmyyy gggooooossssshhhh I'm cumming!!!! I'm cuuuuummmminnnggggg!!!!' My body started to shook. My head was tilted back. Everything was shaking, then I shot, load after load in his throat. 'Oh my shit!!!!'

I tried to regain my breath as my body pulsed on. My eyes was still closed. His mouth was still over my cock that was busy deflating. When I opened my eyes he was licking all the cum from my cock. Cleaning my cock head, which was still very sensitive. ' Stop, please stop. I can't take it anymore. Oh my fuck!!! What did you do to me? That was the best experience I ever had. You were so good. Where did you learn all that'. He moved over to lie next to me. 'Well I had a boyfriend who was very sexual. So he taught me a few tricks'.

' Well, thank you. You're the best!' I gave him a kiss. He laid there with his eyes closed. I cuddled against him. And we fell asleep. A few hours later I woke up. I was lying with with my back to him. His arm was holding me tightly against him. I could feel his semi-hard dick in the small of my back. I needed to drink some water. So I moved quietly so that I wouldn't wake him. But just as I wanted to get up, he grabbed my arm, pulled me back and asked: 'and where do you think your going Mr. Sexy pants?'

' I want some water'. Instead he got up and said. ' Wait I'll go get it, I need to pee'. He kissed me and got up. When he came back, we had a nice chat. I accidentally moved my hand up, and touched his dick. He gasped and said, ' now the monster is awake. And we have a problem'. I laughed and said, well we must give the monster some attention, otherwise he is going to get angry'. He laughed.

I went down to grab him. I felt him up, and gasped with shock. He was big! Oh my word! How will I ever be able to fit that in my mouth? ' I know what your thinking hunny, it is big, but I'm not asking you to return the favor, by giving you a blow job I also got pleasure out of it'. I stroked him a few times and it grew harder and longer. Till it was full mast, it was big and oh so beautiful. I started stroking his cock and he started moaning. ' Uuuhhhhh hunny, please don't stop. Please. Your hands feel so good'. I sat up to get more comfortable. While I was stroking him I cupped and played with his balls. It was big and heavy. He was moving around and breathing heavily. I stroked harder and faster. I know I had to take it in my mouth, but it was so big. I didn't know what else to do so I just stroked him, but he loved it. ' Oh my god hunny, your hands are so soft and warm and it's making my dick feel so good. Don't stop....aaaaahhhh.... I'm not far from cumming!' I stroked and stroked. He started to moan louder. Hunny, I'm gonna....cum' thats when I dove in. I wanted him to cum in my mouth. But I was to late. ' Ooooohhh mmmmyyyy fffffuuuucccckkk, take my load!!!!! Aaaaahhh god!!!!!!' He started shooting. All over my face. In my hair. Some of it went into my mouth and all over my hands. ' Oh my fuck...aaah! That was the best hand job I ever had. Thanks babe. Fuck. Look at you. Your a mess. A very sexy mess'. Then he started licking my face and my hands. And he kissed me. His cum mixed between our mouths.

That was one of the best nights of my life.

So 2 weeks after that our exams started. We couldn't see each other often.

I was looking forward to the holiday post-exams. Then we will finally see each other more.

' Hunny, I have some bad news. I have to go away for this holidays. I have to go on a camp with the church. I'm sorry. Wish I could stay...'. Well so much for my looking forward to the holiday.

'Nah It's okay. I actually have some work to do. So don't worry. I will see you after the holidays'. I was trying not to get bitchy.

'Are you sure John?'. He asked. I could hear in his voice he was feeling bad.

'I'm sure. Stop worrying and go enjoy it'.

'Thanks hun. We can talk everyday! I promise'. Then he hung up.

That holidays was the worse. I had a boyfriend. But I couldn't see him. I wasn't in the mood for my own friends, because they all had partners. I mine was so far away. Oh well life isn't all moonshine and roses.

The last Friday of the holiday I got a knock on the door. I went to open it. And there he was, my boyfriend. ' Oh my word, babe, what are you doing here?' I hugged him tightly.

' We came home earlier. So I thought I'd drop by and see you!'

Wow. What a nice surprise. At first we talked about our holidays. But later on we couldn't keep hands our from each other. So I took him to the bedroom.

I pushed him down on the bed. And got on top of him. Straddling him. ' Hunny, do you remember that night we spent together. Well I still owe you something if I'm not mistaken.'

He was smiling at me. Fuck he's beautiful. ' John, you know I don't want you to feel obliged to do it. I can wait. If your not ready it's fine.' He was being very sincere. But I wanted to do it.

'Please. I want to do it. Just give me a chance'. So I started kissing him. On his lips. Then in his neck. I nibbled on his ears. He moaned softly. I pulled his t-shirt off. Then I attacked his nipples. He arched his back. Almost driving his cock into my ass through his pants. I kissed him all over his tummy. Then I got to his pants. I first opened his fly and felt him up. Then he moved so that I can take his jeans off. Then he was laying their in his tight briefs. ' Fuck your sexy, I just wanna eat you up'. I went down to his feet and started kissing his feet. Moving all the way up to his thighs. Then I did the same with his other leg.

By this time his cock wanted to tear the briefs. Gently I put my face into his crotch. Just laying there. Taking in his scent. It was a bit of sweat mixed with shower gel and wahing powder. It smelled divine. I started to lick at his balls through his briefs. He was slighty moaning my name. Then I started pulling down his briefs. His big cock flopped out and hit his tummy. It was red, and very hard.

The moment I took it in my hand he thrust up his hips. Driving his cock into my hand. ' Awww babe, just pleasure me babe. I don't care how you do it. Just pleasure me'. So I started stroking his cock. Slowly at first. He was breathing heavily. 'Aaaaahhhh yes babe. I love it what your doing!!! Don't stop please. Uuuuuhhhhnnnn'.

His eyes was closed. I took a few deep breaths. Then I went for it. The moment my tongue touched his cock I felt the electricity. It tasted awesome. And he was enjoying it. ' Aaahhh my fffuuucckkk. Hunny. Take my cock. Suck it babe. Take my big cock and suck it. Aaaaahhhh'. Then I went to work. I felt dumb. I didn't know what to do. I followed my instinct. Shawn was enjoying it. Very much, by the words and sounds coming out of his mouth.

So I was working him up and down. My throat was getting tired so I let go of his cock and went down on his balls. I licked it and played with it. The I went back to his cock. By this time he was leaking pre-cum. I flicked my tongue over it and I loved the taste. So I went back down on his cock. He was breathing very heavy. And moaning. ' Aaaaahhh babe, I'm gonna...cum sooooo, pleeeeaasse don't stop hunny....aaaaahhhhh.... I'm cummmmmming...take my cum.... Aaaaahhhh. Yeah! TAKE MY SWEET CUM!!!! AAAAAAAHHH!'.

He shot load after load of cum into my mouth and down my throat. It didn't end. It was 3 weeks worth of pent up cum. I loved it. But before I could swallow he pulled me up and kissed me. Taking some of his cum into his own mouth. We were sharing his cum, I loved it.

When we were finished we laid there. He was lying against me. I was on my back, he was curled up against me.

' Hunny, I want to thank you for what you just did. I knew it took a lot, but it meant the world to me. I just want you to know that I will never pressure you to do something you don't want to do, okay?

I gave him a kiss on his forehead. ' Thank you, Shawn, I will remember'.

Then we fell asleep.

Time went quickly. When we opened our eyes it was our 6 months anniversary.

I didn't know what to get him so I asked his mom. She said I must get him some sexy underwear. I wasn't to keen on the idea. But I would go for it. I'm very bad with presents. So I bought him 3 briefs. A superman one. A pink one with leopard print and a black one with colorful lips printed on it. I also got him some nice after shave.

Our anniversary was that saturday. But that friday I got a call from him telling me I should meet him outside. There he was. Standing in a suit and tie with a rose. He was holding the door for me. I went inside. Got my wallet, phone and cigarettes and his present and I jumped in. He was sitting in the back seat. His mom was driving. He gave me the rose. 'Happy 6 months anniversary babe' and he kissed me on the cheek. So I gave him his present but he didn't open it. Then he blindfolded me and told me I would get my present in a bit.

I asked him where we were going but he didn't answer. We drove for about 20 minuets. Then we stopped. He got out, walked around and opened the door for me. He lead me out of the car. Got something out of the boot, went to greet his mom and she drove off. Ok, now I was freaked out. I don't really liked the 'unknown'. I'm not a fan of surprises. 'Babe, please tell me where we are.' I was anxious. I heard the sound of water. There was a salty smell in the air.

' Happy anniversary, babe.' Shawn said when he pulled the blindfold off my head. We were standing in front of a big double story house with glass panels in the front. When I turned around the ocean stretched out before my eyes. It was spectacular. ' Babe where are we?' I asked him. Then he looked at me and smiled. ' This is my mom's boss' place. I asked to use it for the weekend. She said I can use it anytime, for free. So I bought you here for our anniversary'. I didn't know what to say. I was shocked. I was breathless. It was so beautiful. We went inside. The garages and the spare bedroom was downstairs. Upstairs was the kitchen 2 bedrooms and the living area wich went onto a covered deck with a rim flow pool. And this STUNNING view over the ocean. We went to the bedroom. The sliding doors opened up to the same deck the living room goes out to. I was still speechless. And there was a note on the bed:

' Dear Shawn.

Firstly: congratulations on the anniversary. I hope you will have plenty to come. I know I gave you the house for free, but I wanted to do something extra special. I got my butler to stock up the bar and the food cupboards and fridge with stuff that you are free to use. I also asked him to stay this weekend. He will serve you. He will cook for you and do the cleaning. If you want to drive somewhere, one of my cars is in the garage. You can just ask him. He will take you there. I hope you enjoy this romantic weekend, all my love, Sabrina'.

'This is unbelievable. Babe, how can I be so lucky? I mean. Its crazy. A weekend at a gorgeous place, stocked up, with our own butler, for free?! I mean! Whe.....'

My words were muffled by him kissing me. The passion spread like fire through me. I moaned softly. My cock was rock hard. I pushed my bulge into him. He was making rotation moves with his hips, driving his crotch into mine.

We fell back on the bed. We turned around so that I was on top. We continued to make out and grind into each other. I was starting to lose my breath so I had to stop. So I pulled away. He looked at me and said

'Babe, what's wrong?'. I took his hand and said: ' nothing, I'm just a little bit out of breath that's all, I think I'm going out on the deck, wanna join me?' He got up. Pulled off his T-shirt and walked with me out onto the deck. We just stood there. I was getting this sad feeling over me. And I don't know why it was. I took out a cigarette and lit it, and pulled a deep one. Savoring the taste.

' What's wrong John? Was it something I said?' He was looking straight into my eyes.

' It wasn't something you said. It was something you did. But not directly. Its just....ummm...its all this. I mean. This is probably the best gift I ever got and ever will get. I can't give something like this back to you. I can't take you away on a weekend. I can't buy you nice stuff all the time..' Then he shushed me. Putting his finger to my lips.

' I don't want anything in return. I would just like you to like and love and care for me the way I do for you. Not presents and gifts. But from there' and he put his hand on my chest. A tear was rolling down my face. He wiped it off, and kissed me on my forehead. Then he said: ' do you understand babe?' When I nodded he said: ' I'm quickly going to ask the butler to make us some cocktails. You get your sexy butt out of that clothes and into the pool. I will put on the warmer. We can watch the sunset from inside the pool with cocktails'.

When he got back he was naked. I was already in the pool with my briefs. He jumped in and swam over to me. He pulled me closer and kissed me. I stuck out my tongue. Just as I wanted to explore the inside of his mouth we heard: 'hu hum' we turned around and there was the butler. 'Excuse me for interrupting a most romantic moment, but here are your cocktails. Dinner will be ready at nine. I hope you are fine with steak with a mushroom sauce and baked potato and some grilled vegetables?' I was smiling at him and Shawn said: that sounds wonderful, thank you Edward.'He nodded and went inside.

We enjoyed the sunset with our cocktails.

Later on it was getting cold and I wanted to get out. So we got out. I went to take a shower and Shawn joined me. We washed each other all over. Paying particular attention to our genital areas. He was making me so horny. He kissed my cock all over and when I was rock hard there was a knock at the door, 'dinner is ready.' It was Edward. So Shawn left me there with a hard cock. We got out and got dressed.

After dinner we told Edward he could go and enjoy the rest of his evening and we will see him tomorrow morning.

We decided to go take a stroll on the beach. It was a lovely evening. No clouds, no wind, open sky. It was so romantic walking on the beach holding hands.

When we got back that was when the real fun began. Edward wanted to fit his underwear. So he put on the briefs I got him. Each fitted perfectly. Hugging his ass, and making his big bulge standing out more. He loved it. After that he told me to just wait he will be back he just needed to phone someone.

After a while I heard the toilet flush and he came into the room. He had nothing on. Just a rose, in his mouth. He gave me the rose. Kissing my hand. Then he got on top of me. We started making out. It was hot and passionate. We were moaning and groaning and grinding into each other

Suddenly he stopped. I opened my eyes and gave him a quizzical look. ' What's wrong hunny?' He looked me straight into the eyes and then asked me: baby, would you take my virginity?' I was shocked. Wa haven't talked about this. I didn't even know he was a virgin. I didn't think we would be at that stage yet. But I liked him. He was a keeper. And after he said it, I got quite horny just thinking about the possibilities of me sinking my cock into that masterpiece of a ass. All the pros and cons went through my head while he waited for my answer. Although, I really did know I wanted to do it, I just wanted to make sure.

' Are you sure hunny, I heard it hurts, a lot' I tried not to sound pitiful, but I couldn't help it.

'Babe, I'm sure. If there is anyone I would go through any amount of pain for, it is you.'

Wow, that was enough for me. So he got up, went to his bag and grabbed the lube and a few condoms. ' Babe, are we going to need condoms. I mean. We both are clean, we've been tested.' He looked up at me and said: ' oh yeah your right. Ok, no condoms!' So he got back on the bed.

He went to lie down on his back. I bent over and kissed him. I kissed all the way down. Over his tits, his stomach, between the ridges of his six-pack. All along his crotch area. Then I told him to lift up his legs. ' I wanna see where I'm going to sink my cock in. I kissed his balls and went all the way down his rosebud.

I took a deep breath through my nose. He smelled divine. Almost like a peach and apricot-ish smell. 'Babe, why does your ass smell like a fruit tree?' He laughed and said; 'hun, it's called a duche. You use it to clean your ass. Mine is flavored. I will show you some other time how it works'

Then I kissed him on his rosebud. ' Babe don't tell me you're going to do to what I think you are going to do.' I just ignored him. I stuck out my tongue and flicked his rosebud. He moaned and pushed his ass into my face. 'Please love, don't tease me.' So I did it again. This time licking all over his pink rosebud. God he had a hot ass hole. Then I went for it. I took a deep breath. And I put my tongue against his hole and I pushed. Suddenly it slipped in. ' OH MY FUCK!!!!!! Don't take it out babe! AW FFFFFUUUUCCCKK!!!' Then I began working my tongue inside his ass. He thrashed around on the bed. I loved rimming him. It always grossed me out. But now I sang a different tune.

I rimmed him some more. And finaly: ' babe, please take it out. You're killing me. Aw man. Its too much. Just let me rest for a second.' So I let him rest, just kissing his thighs. After a while he put his legs in the air again, exposing that sexy hole of him. ' Love, prepare me first. Your cock is too thick, I don't know if I can take it right away. First loosen me up with your fingers. Then we can try your cock.' I put some lube on his ass. Rubbing it all over his rosebud. Then I took my finger and pushed till I was in. He let out a sigh. I worked and worked into him. Then I put my middelfinger in. It went in slightly more difficult. He was moaning some more. While I was working my fingers inside his ass, his eyes was closed. He made small whimper sounds. Suddenly his eyes flew open, he pressed his ass down on my fingers and screamed: FUCK!!!!!! AAAAAAHHHH, you found my prostate. Aw do it again. Aaaaaahhhh shhhhiiiittt!' I didn't know what he was talking about but then I felt it. It was this little flat thing inside his ass and it had this rubbery feel to it. So I rubbed over it again. He had the same reaction. I rubbed over it a few times, playing with it, teasing him. 'Love, if you are going to continue I'm going to cum'. So I took my finger out.

He then got the lube, poured some on his hands and started rubbing onto my cock. Slightly jacking me off. He got me rock hard. I then asked him' Are you sure you want to do this? We don't have to. I mean, we still have a whole life, hopefully, to do this'. He just looked at me. Grabbed me behind my neck, and kissed me. This kiss wasn't like his previous kisses. It had a message to it. I knew what it meant. It means I must continue.

I poured some more lube on his ass. Smeared it in. Then I took a deep breath. ' Ok babe. Here goes. Tell me if I'm hurting you. Please. I don't want you to suffer!' He nodded, but he kept quiet. I can see he was scared shitless for this.

I took a deep breath. Aimed my cock at his hole. I pressed against it. If felt soft and warm. But my cock didn't want to go in. He told me to push harder. And it was starting to hurt my cock head a bit.

The next moment it popped in. We both screamed. He of pain and me of total pleasure. 'Aaaaaahhhh FUCK IT HURTS' he screamed. 'Aaaaaaahhh, it hugs me like a glove' I moaned. Then I got a fright. There was tears running out of his eyes. I started to pull out, but he hooked his legs behing my back and told me: ' don't go anywhere, just let me get used to it'! He took a while. I could see he suffered. I didn't want him to suffer.

' Babe, I can see your in pain. Must I take it out?' He kept his eyes closed but told me: ' nah its fine. Its like this in the beginning. After a while it gets better. You can push in further. So I started leaning into him. Pushing my cock in almost halfway. He was whimpering and tears was streaming down his face. Physically I was in total bliss. But I didn't say anything. He was warm and tight. I didn't ever imagine a ass could make me feel like this. Emotionally I was hurt. I couldn't bear hurting him. He was such a great boyfriend. I know its his wish to be fucked. And he knew of the consequences but he still wanted to go through with it. Then I felt my pubes pressing into his ass.

'Babe, I'm al the way in'. He was quiet. He breathed heavily. His eyes was still closed. I bent down and gave him a kiss. He moaned into my mouth. When I pulled away he looked at me with smoking eyes. 'Babe it hurts so bad, but I don't mind. You don't know how you make me feel. I feel like a new man. You are the best thing that ever happened to me'.

I didn't know what to say. I mean. I can't explain how I feel about him. He is so much different from other guys.

' Okay babe, you can start pulling it out again. Just do it slowly'. So I started to pull out. Slowly. He was still whimpering. When I just had my head in he told me to start fucking him, just slowly at first. So I started by making small probing movements with my cock. Slightly driving it deeper with each thrust. I was in heaven at the moment. It would take a lot of concentration on my side to not cum prematurely.

'Ok, it is starting to feel better. You can go harder.' he told me. I started to thrust harder into him I could feel my rock hard cock rubbing over his prostate.

'Aaaaah, babe, it's going to be worth the pain. You're making me feel so good' he was moaning.

I starter to really fuck him now. Not fast. Slow, but deep thrusts. Almost pulling out my whole cock and then plunging back in him.

'Hmmmmmm babe. Your ass is so hot and tight. You don't have any idea how you're making me feel. Aaaahhhh...'.

I went in harder and harder. By this time we were both panting and moaning and groaning. The bed started to bang against the wall. Luckily Edward was on the lower floor.

I was thrusting hard now. In out, in out, in out. He was getting louder by each thrust. ' Aaaaahhh, love, fuck me silly, push your hard cock in me. Rub my prostate! UUUUUHHHHHNNNNN!!!!!!! FUCK ME!!!!!!!!'

He was like a animal. We were going on for about 30 minuets when he told me he need to cum very bad. So I turned us around. With him stil in me. I lied down on my back with him on top of me.

'Aaaahhh, babe, this angle is so much better. I can feel more of your cock now! AAAAHHHH!!!!

He started to ride me like a jockey would ride his horse in a championship race. He went up and down, back and forth. And for the whole time he didn't stop moaning.

Then I took his steel hard cock in my hand. It was red, dripping with pre-cum. And it was quivering. His balls was full of baby making seed. Then I began to move my hand up and down his cock. It was making him ballistic. He thrusted into my hand and at the same bounced back on my cock. The passion between us was something I've never experienced before.

'Aaaaaaahhhhhh babe!!!!! Don't stop! Please!!!! HUNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!! I'm close to cumming! Aaaahhh! I'm cumming!!!! I'm going to drown you babe!!!'. He screamed out load.

He started to shake. His cock quivered in my hand. Then he shot: 1,2,3,4 full shots in my face. The rest was all over my chest.

His cum in my face and the orgasm's workout on his ass muscles also pushed me over the edge.

'Aaaaaahhh babe! Take my cum in ur ass!!! TAKE IT!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH' I shot about 5 shots. It was sooooooo hot.

He fell down on my chest. His cum mixing between us. We were so out of breath. Then he kissed me. Licking all his cum from my face. Then he kissed me. Sharing his cum with me. It was such a turn-on.

The rest of that night we cuddled. In the earlier ours of the morning I fucked him again. Because I didn't cum too long ago I lasted longer.

The rest of that weekend was sex, sex and more sex. Edward walked in on us, twice. That was quite embarrassing. I was so sad toe leave that sunday afternoon. This is what I imagined my life with Shawn will be like. Not necessarily the nice house, or the butler (although, it would be a bonus) but him as a person. I mean, he treats me with so much respect and compassion. You can't help it but to fall in love with this guy.

Well, when we got back our lives turned back to normal. Busy, busy, busy. I started a casual job at a local video store, keeping me quite busy, but helping a bit on the financial side. And he was busy with his full sport program. We didn't see each other much.

6 months has almost past again and I realized that our 1 year anniversary is coming up. So I went and booked us a day at a spa for some pampering. I was super excited because the present was as much for me as it was for him. But he didn't know it.

Our plans was to have some dinner and then go watch a theater production of one of my favorite play writers. But we remembered we had a party. On of his friends turned 21 and we already said we'd come. So our plan was to skip the dinner. Eat there and the go to the theater. Luckily it was the late show.

So we went to the party. It was quite fun actually. I only knew 2 people there. The girl who's party it is and a friend from Shawn's school. It was a normal party, some of the boys and girls were in the pool. Others were standing by the fireplace. The rest of us were sitting and chatting. When a ball hit me, right at the side of my face. I spilled a glass of red wine over the yellow golf shirt I was wearing. Then I heard someone yell:

'Your supposed to catch it you big lump of a gay fat bastard.' Some of the guys laughed. Typical jocks.

'Babe, are you okay'. I just nodded, and then Shawn ran off, I heard screaming and a splash. They were fighting. My eyes were full of tears. It was so painful. I felt a hand on my shoulders, leading me into the house.

We went into the kitchen. I felt cloth wiping my face. Then a ice pack was put on my head. ' There, there, calm down'. When I opened my eyes I saw Kirsten standing in front of me. It was her party. She calmed me down. Then took me to her brother's room to look for a shirt for me.

She let me sit on the bed. She told me that I shouldn't care what other people say. They are not important. I know she was right. But it still made me sad.

Later on. She came to fetch me in the room. When I got outside, some of the people left, including the jocks. Thank god. Then I felt hands and arms closing on me from behind. It was Shawn. Suddenly I felt better.

'Baby, listen to me'. He said and turned me around so that I can look in his eyes. ' I don't care what other people say. And you shouldn't either. I don't want you to get hurt ever again. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. You are gorgeous in my eyes, inside and outside. I love you'.

Wow. I didn't know what to say. We've been together for a year. I love him. I know I do.

' I love you too.' What a awesome feeling it is to tell someone that. Then he kissed me. And the other people were giving us a round of applause. Some of the guys whistled. I even saw 1 or 2 girls cry. What a feeling.

After the theatre we decided to go home. My parents weren't there yet. They were at a party. So we were alone.

There's been something on my mind for quite a while now. But It's a big decision for me. Since the night I took his virginity, I've been thinking about when the times comes when he is going to want to fuck me. I think that time is now. I mean. The guy loves me. I love him. We've been together for a year. Why not?

I have to be honest. I'm scared as fuck. I'm not big on pain. But I really wanted to do it, I'm ready.

'Shawn, I need to talk to you.' We were sitting on my bed and listening to some music.

'What is it babe?' He looked at me questioningly. ' Is something wrong. Did I do something?' Aw man. He was so cute when he pulled a worried face.

'No babe, everything is fine. You know. I've been thinking lately. I'm ready to take our relationship to the next level. I want you to make love to me. I want you to take my virginity. I love you. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And I'm ready for this big step. And you should realize that it meant a lot to me that you held up with me for such a long time' wow okay, now I was talking too much. I was sounding like a freak. That typical love story crap.

'Babe, I would be honored'. He then threw me on the bed. We started making out. Hot and passionately. Like we have never kissed before. He was like an animal. While we kissed he drove his cock into mine. Making noises I never heard. I was in for a rough but awesome fucking session. I could feel it.

He then started taking off his clothes. He was totally naked and oh so hot! Then he started removing my clothes. When I was naked he started kissing me again. Going down into my neck. It was ticklish. Then he bit my ear which totally turned me on. Then he went back to my neck. Planting kisses all over my chest. My nipples was standing erect. He then attacked my nipples. First licking them and then lightly nibbling on them, making me moan like a baby.

'Aaaw babe. What are you doing to me. What did I do to this amount of pleasure?' He ignored me. And planted kisses downwards to my crotch. I was breathing heavily. He kissed me on my balls. Kissed all the up on my cock. It was standing very erect. The knob was livid red. I was so horny I could die. He then took my cock in his warm mouth and it felt like I went to heaven.

'OOOOHHHHH MMMMYYYY GGGGOOOOODD baby!!!! Fucking hell. Don't stop. Please don't stop.' He continued for a while. I was going through the roof.

Then he lifted my legs into the air. Kissing me over my balls. All the way down to my ass crack. there he planted kisses all around by hole. I was quivering. Anticipating his tongue in my hole.

Then he licked over my hole and I felt this thrill going through my body. He did that a few timed. I was trying to push my ass into his face but I couldn't. He knew I was at his mercy.

'Please babe. Stop teasing me. Put your tongue inside my cock. Fuck me with your tongue!!!' He looked up at me, smiled and then he dove in. Driving his tongue inside my hole. Making me feel awesome.

'Aaaaaaahhhhhhh mmmmmyyyyy fffffffffuuuckkk Shawn! Babe don't stop.....aaah. Yeah. Drive it into me!!!! Ffffuck!!!!!!'

Fuck he was taking me to places I have never been before.

Then he took his tongue out. He asked me If I wanted to use a condom.

'No babe, but if you want to it is fine.' He then shook his head and said: it's just not the same with that thing'.

Then he bent over and got the lube from my nightstand. Then he smeared on my hole. Teasing me with his finger.

'Babe, will you be so kind to smear my cock for me please'. So I got up. Took the lube from him and started applying it to his hard cock. He was gasping a little bit.

When his cock was good and smeared I laid back with my legs in the air. I read somewhere this is the best position for a virgin. I don't know if it is true.

'Hunny, are you ready?' He asked me.

'As ready as I'll ever be babe' I was scared shitless.

I closed my eyes and waited. Then I felt him poking my hole with his cock. He was applying pressure.....he was holding his breath. He pressed harder and harder. I felt my ring give way, and then he was inside and the pain was unbelievable...

'Aaaaaahhhh mmmYyyyyy ffffffuuuuuucccckkkk...ouch ouch ouch, motherfucker!!!!!'

It hurts soooo bad. I wasnted him to take it out but I knew I was going to regret it. And the worse part was over. I think. He gave me a minuet to get used to his big cock.

'Ok babe. You can start putting in some more'. Tears were rolling down my face. When I looked up, he was crying aswell.

'Babe, why are you crying?' I asked him. He looked at me with those fucking hot eyes.

'Nothing babe, but you won't believe how special this is. I love you so much. I know its painful, but just hold on for a little while longer. It will get better I promise.'

Then he put on pressure again. Inch by inch he went in. The pain was actually sub siding. But I couldn't feel pleasure yet.

Then I felt his pubic hair touching my ass. I knew he was inside me.

'Babe, I'm fully inside you. I'm feeling wonderful. It feels like a glove on my cock'.

I must say, it did feel wonderful. I was ready. 'Okay babe, you can start fucking me'.

'God, it sounds sexy when you say that'. I laughed at him. Then he pulled back a bit and plunged back in.

'Aaaahhh, its so hot babe. Go harder!!' I told him.

Well he listened and he started pistoning into me like a motherfucker.

Harder and harder he went. Fucking me silly.

'Aaah babe, your ass is so hot!!' He said, out of breath. Sweat beads was forming on his forehead. Everytime he slided over my prostate I yelped. You wouldn't believe a man has so much pleasure in his ass.

'Aaaaah babe!!!! I think I'm going to cum!!!!' It was true. I didn't even touched my cock. But I could feel it boiling in my groins.

'Aaaaah babe!!!! I'm cumming!!!!! Aaaaahh. Then It happened. I came. All over my chest. I never came so much in my life!!!

' Babe, I'm going to cum aswell. Your ass is soooo hot!!!!

' Cum in me babe!!! Fill me with your baby-making sperm' I screamed at him.

Then he started contracting. He threw his head back. Gave one last hard thrust into me and came. Shoot and shoot and shoot. I could actually feel it go up my ass!

'Oh my fuck that was hot!' He sighed. Then he feel down on top of me. Kissing me. He was still inside me. My cum was mixing between our stomaches.

He was catching his breath. He then rolled off me. His big cock sliding out of me. Cum dripping from my ass.

'Babe. Thank you so much. That was so hot! And I'm so glad I was the one to take your big V'

'No babe, I have to thank you. Thanks for being such a awesome boyfriend'.

I kissed him one last time, and then rolled over and fell asleep in his arms.

Well after that our realtionship just grew and grew. We were together a lot more often. And by together I mean fucking. Our sexlife was at a prime. And so was our relationship.

He was with me the day I told my parents.

They didn't take it well at first. I had to go and live with him for a month or so. But after that it went better.

Our 2 families got to know each other. After a while they started to go out together and we would go with. My parents didn't mind us being together but they didn't like us showing public affection, so when were with them we behaved ourselves.

On the night of our 2nd year anniversary I got a call.

'Hello, my mother in law, and how are you' I answered with a chirp. I waited for him. He was taking me out. But my mood fell when I heard her crying.

'What wrong??? Is it shawn???' She didn't answer me. Just snobbed. And then she put down the phone. Just before I could phone her back my phone rang again. This time it was his sister.

'Can someone please tell me what the fuck is going on????' I got angry. His sister sobbed aswell but she could talk.

'John, Shawn was murdered. In our front yard'. I felt my world tumbling. It couldn't be true. It couldn't be. The love of my life? Murdered? No, there had to be a mistake.

'We just found him, beside his car, he was stabbed in the neck. The paramedics just arrived. But it was too late. I'm sorry.

He was realy gone. I ran out of the house screaming my lungs out. Then as if god sent him. My friend drove up to me in his car. He jumped out, ran to me and held me tight. He didn't know about shawn yet, but he could see. I was devastated.

' He's dead, Shawn is dead!!!' I screamed. He was holding me tightly. Then he led me to his car. Putting me on the backseat. He was driving me to Shawn's house.

When I came there it was just his sister. ' My parents had to go to the hospital to sign forms'

I didn't care. I just fell into her arms and started crying.

That was the sadest day of my life. His funeral was also very sad, but I didn't have tears left. So I just sat there and cried. But nothing came out.

That was 2 years ago. I've never found love again. And I probably never will. I will never forget him. He the any man every girl or gay guy ever could hope for.



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