Gay and married 1 revised I was sitting on my bed. I had a bad dream again and every time the same dream. I see myself standing on a cliff. Way down below I can see the ocean and in the distance I see an island. Behind me I can hear voices a woman and a man fighting about who loves me more. When I turn around I can see Susan and Sven walking side by side toward the cliff without looking at where they were going. I scream to stop them at the top of my lungs but I could not be heard. And then they are one step from the abyss. I try to reach them but I'm too late. I don't see them fall but I can hear their voices. That's the moment I wake up.

Sven is snoring on my left side. We have been married for four and a half years now. I turned and in the semidarkness I can make out his handsome face. I love that man. It took me almost five years to realize that he is my one and only. Actually everything started with Susan. She is the best friend you could ever have. She helped me "come out of the closet". And she introduced me to my gay life. She wanted a threesome with Sven's brother Sean and I fell in love with Sean. That didn't work out perfectly, and after a few escapades with different guys I realized that the only man in my live was Sven. At Greg's, my cousins, wedding with Andrew, I finally had the guts to reveal my love to Sven.

But let me start with the night I asked Sven to marry me.

I know I haven't fucked you yet...." He put one finger on my lips to stop me. "You are not going to be fucking me. You are gonna be making love to me. So V Do you want to...." And I finished" married me?" I found my soul mate. As one we both said "yes "and kissed until Greg, Jesus and auntie opened door.

I had to stay in the Vegas hospital for a few more days. It turned out that one of my kidneys was damaged, but the doctors told me that I could live with only one. Sven didn't want to leave my side but the nurses kicked him out. I asked Greg if he could stay with them until I got out of the hospital. They had to go home the next day Greg agreed to take Sven home with him. I couldn't wait to leave the hospital.

After two days I signed the paper to get released against my dr.'s advice. If anything goes wrong it would be my own responsibility. I went to the rental car and drove home to LA.

The drive home seemed even longer than the way to Vegas. After four and a half hours I arrived at my auntie's house. I didn't have a phone to let them know when I would arrive so when I finally opened the door nobody was there. First thing I called Greg's cellphone. He was surprised to hear that I was already at the house. "We thought you had to spend a few more days in the hospital?" I explained that i wanted to be home ASAP. I could hear Sven's voice in the background. He wanted to go home. Greg told me that they were at a pizza place called me and Ed's in long beach and asked if I wanna come to eat with them. I didn't want to be separated from Sven for even one more minute so I agreed. I found the place and when I entered I could hear laughter. I saw Greg, Jesus, and Andrew then I saw the love of my life. He sat with his back to me so he didn't see me coming. I gestured to Jesus to be quiet. He didn't say a word. I sneaked behind Sven and blindfolded him with my hands. He knew exactly who it was and he screamed my name at the top of his lungs. He stood explosively up and lifted me into his enormous arms. I couldn't do anything as he pressed his lips to mine and his tongue invaded my mouth. I couldn't believe that he kissed me in front of the crowd and my friends. Actually I thought he was kind of shy, but right now he was far from shy. When he let me down I could feel his hard penis in his jeans. "V I love you "he said and kissed me again. Everyone except Jesus surrounded us and gave me a group hug. I knew he thought that we could be together but I had found the love of my life in Sven.

I ordered a pizza and a pitcher of bud light. After about five or six rounds it was time to go home. I wasn't able to drive anymore so Sven and I called a taxi. On our way home Sven embraced me on the backseat of the taxi and drove his tongue in my mouth again. The driver probably didn't like gay people because he stopped and kicked us out" you Fagots find another ride home" he said. So we stood there without a phone and no car. Well long beach isn't that far from Carson but at night it isn't safe at all. "Fuck head "I screamed at the taxi driver, when he drove away." what are we gonna do now?" I asked Sven." We'll ether we walk to the next bar to find a phone or we find a nice place to get comfy" he replied with a grin. I shook my head and started walking down the street when a police car flashed his lights at us. Oh no I thought aren't we in enough shit already. The officer came out of his car and with a flash light beam pointed at us." Isn't that Sven the man?" He asked. What?! How did he know Sven? It sounded as if Sven was well known. I now realized that I don't know anything about Sven. If the police know him so well what was the connection. I looked in Sven's eyes and he tried to avoid my glance. Was he a criminal or worse, maybe he was a serial killer. I wouldn't even know.

"Officer we did nothing wrong. The cab driver kicked us out of his car "Sven said. "I'd better get you down to the precinct. Better is better." The officer pointed with his flashlight to his car and opens the back door for us. I got in first. The cop held the back of my head to protect it from hitting it on the frame. I have seen that 1000 times on TV shows. Now it has really happened to me. Sven followed me. I tried to make eye contact but he glanced away again. What the fuck I thought. Who the hell are you? As soon as the officer closed his door the atmosphere in the vehicle changed. "Hey Sven haven't seen you in a long time. How are you?" The cop said with a smile. I gave Sven a puzzled look. He only whispered "I'll explain later". And he only moved his lips to say "I love you" so the cop wouldn't hear it. What the fuck. My brain was racing inside my skull. Sven addressed the cop with his next sentence. "I'm in Hollywood; they have a case with two underage prostitutes over there. How are you Doug? "You scared us to death." What he knows his first name and what case was he talking about. I started to ask but Doug cut me off." well you don't want to blow your cover do you" he said to Sven and to me "and you are the lucky one he is saving himself for. Nice to meet you". "Ah my name is Victor. I'm German." I tried to explain. Sven just said with a smile at me "yes that is the love of my live". What the fuck he just admitted to a cob that he's homosexual. I waited for a reaction but Doug just smiled and whispered to me " you lucky bastard ". I was shocked. Was the cop gay as well and had he hit on Sven in the past. Question after question, and now I was the one who whispered "you have to explain a lot MY LOVE. ". He just smiled at me and nodded his head Doug drove us to Greg's house. When we stepped out of the car he gave Sven a "Old Buddy" hug and me a brief one. He drove away and the first thing I said to Sven was" Who the fuck are you what did you do to the police officer and what was that all about? You know, now I see, I don't know anything about you". He looked at me with smiling eyes "I will explain everything to you and answer all your questions but let me tell you. I love you". We were alone I know auntie was at work. She's a nurse in a nursing home for the elderly. Sven told me that Greg and the gang probably went to the gay club in Hollywood. So we had the house to ourselves. The first thing I did was make myself a Long Island ice tea, and then I started to ask questions. Sven shook his head. "Let me start from the beginning and if you have any question I will answer them.

I didn't know what to do when you left 5 years ago. Sean went back to Palmdale and mom and dad had their own problems. I knew that I was gay even if I had never slept with a guy. I wanted to do something good and then I met Cassandra. She hit on me the first day we met but I wasn't interested. Right away she said you are gay. I didn't deny it. She asked me if I would be interested in helping young gay teens. I started as a phone consultant. When teens called in with their problems I helped them. Ether their coming out or problems with the parents it didn't matter. I did this for almost 3 years. After I turned 20 I went to the street to help young gay prostitutes. You won't believe how many young boys sell their body for money." I know and I thought of Chris "and my first case was three missing 14 years old boys. They ran away from home after telling their parents that they were gay. I met one of them and he told me that they were kidnapped and forced to have sex with older guys. We had to inform the police and the LA special victim unit wanted me as an undercover street worker. I have to report whatever I discover to them. The two boys never showed up again. The S.V.U suspects a big human traffic organization is responsible for the missing kids. Since I work close with the police I had to come up with something so the kids wouldn't lose their trust in me. So we staged a drug deal went wrong and I was arrested." I interrupted Sven. "What about the officer. Did he come on to you in the past?" He smiled. "Yes Doug is one of I don't know maybe 100 gay police officers. It's like in the army. 'Don't ask don't tell ' but they know I'm gay yes and he wasn't the only one. "While he was talking I emptied my second long Iceland." Now enough about me, How come you are out of the hospital so soon? Didn't the doctor want to keep you longer to do test on your kidney?" Sven asked. I wanted to avoid his question so I answered him with a question. "So does it mean you work for the police now?" I asked and avoided making eye contact. "V, don't you tell me you signed yourself out of the hospital against the doctor's advice!" I turned away and topped off my half empty glass. "You know that was a stupid decision. You should have stayed and let the Dr. make sure you are ok." Sven said and grabbed my arm. "But I wanted to be with you. I missed you. Finally I found you and I don't want to be without you another minute." I whispered and tried to hug him. He held me at distance. "V we have the rest of our lives together. I cannot believe that you would be so reckless with your life". He looked me right in the eyes and I could see not only love but I could also see fear. He was really afraid for my live. I have to admit that the day was very confusing for me and I didn't feel good at all. I tried to hug him again but he let go of me and turned around. "You will go to bed right now and don't come at me with any bullshit" he said. "But...." I started. He turned again and held my head in both his hands. "We will both go to bed right now" he whispered and kissed me briefly. "but don't even think of getting sex tonight" he finished and smiled at me.




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