About Bobby

Our forecast today is going to be cloudy with a 20% chance of rain. Be sure you take an umbrella with you if you plan on leaving the house. That was the first thing I heard on my radio this morning when I woke up. Rain on a Saturday? That kind of weather is expected here in San Francisco. I hadn't planned on staying in the house on my day off, but I didn't want to be out in the rain. I guess staying indoors won't kill me. Moving here to California from Gilmer Texas is a big change. The weather, the people and how terrible they drive here. I've only been here for two weeks and everything seems so overwhelming. Out in Gilmer the roads are pretty flat and there's not much traffic. The hills here in San Fran are unbelievable though. Adjusting to a new city, a much bigger city at that is-will be a challenge. My mother passed away from breast cancer about two months ago. To try and forget bad memories of my mom's suffering, I decided moving would do me some good. If you've lost a parent, you know how hard it can be dealing with the loss. Especially if you had a close relationship with them. Being able to tell my mom any and everything is one of the things I'll miss most about her. She knew me inside and out. When she told me of her diagnosis, it was hard to handle. I was in high school when I found out she had cancer. About 4 months after she was diagnosed she began to get very sick and weak. I decided to drop out of school to take care of her. I had no aunts or uncles who could help her, and my grandparents were killed 2 years prior in a tragic car crash. I couldn't let her deal with this on her own. It was only the right thing for me to do. The day before she died she told me "Bobby, my time left on this earth is almost done. I want you to promise me that you'll find someone who can appreciate you as much as I do". I promised her that I would, and that's exactly what I'm going to do. I found this website where I can create a profile to meet other men, but I'm a little nervous about doing this. I don't really know what to expect if I meet someone on this service.

My name is Bobby. I am a 19 year old Caucasian male, 5'9 with light brown hair, blue eyes and a slender body type. I'm looking for a guy who doesn't want a one night stand. Someone who wants more than that, a connection. Someone who loves themselves and can love another. I don't do drugs and I'm not old enough to drink yet.

Hope to talk to you soon!

That is what my profile consists of. Now I just have to play the waiting game and see where this leads. I have only had sex with one guy. His name was Jeremy. I was 16 years old and he was 18. Jeremy and I grew up in the same neighborhood. He lived four houses down from me. I never had a girl friend, but I was always curious about boys. The first time I saw Jeremy I was 8 years old. He'd be outside playing with the other kids and I would watch him from my bedroom window. I was always a shy kid so I didn't really interact much with other kids on the block. I can remember playing with my action figures pretending that I was the army guy and Jeremy was the cowboy. When I would play with those toys, in my imagination the two of us would always go on these wilderness adventures. I would have us hold hands as we walked through the woods. Sometimes we would run into a monster in those woods, and there'd be Jeremy ready to defend me. He would fight the monster until the death. Once the monster was dead I would run to Jeremy and say "oh thank you for defeating the monster. Now we can go and live happily together, just the two of us".

Wow, the things kids can think of. I would always hoped that one day I could actually get that close to Jeremy, hold his hand and kiss him. I just knew deep inside though that it would never happen..... Moving forward, about three days after my 16th birthday. I was walking home from school. We lived five miles from my school and since my mom worked nights at that time, I had to walk to and from school. Anyway I was about 15 minutes away from home when I see Jeremy walking alone in my direction. Immediately I put my head down and continue walking, acting like I didn't see him. I wanted him to talk to me but at the same time, I didn't think he was gay and I just knew he wouldn't bother talking to me. As I'm walking I hear... "hey". I Keep my head down thinking I wasn't being talked to. "Hey", I hear again. "Hey Bobby"! I look up and Jeremy is actually talking to me. What do I say? What do I say? I think to myself. "UH, hey what's up"! I respond. "What are you doing over here"? he asked. "Nothin, just walking home from school". I say in a quiet voice. He's so cute. I thought. I remember exactly what he was wearing. He had on a black baseball cap that said L.A. on it, a white tank top, black jeans and white tennis shoes that looked a little worn out. "That's cool, but uh why didn't you mom pick you up?" "She works in the evenings and cant drive me home after I get out." I tell him. "Oh I see" he says. "Is it ok if I walk with you?" he asks. Jeremy wants to walk with me? I think to myself. "HECK YEAH" I say out loud without thinking. Then I start to get kind of nervous because I've never really talked much to him before other than saying hi, and I don't really know what to say to him. About two minutes go by and neither of us has said a word to each other. I began to feel a little awkward. Then he says "Can I ask you something Bobby?" Uh oh, what's he about ask me? "Yeah, sure". I said. "Why did you always look at me from your window when I'd be playing outside?" Trying to play dumb I say "look at you? I don't know what your talking about." He jumps in front of me and stops me from walking. "Don't act like you don't know" he said, "I remember you staring at me almost every day when we were younger, and I want to know why." He had this expression that said I'm not moving until you tell me. I thought for a second and started to sweat. "I don't want to tell you why" I told him. "Well why not? I'm not gonna beat you up or anything like that, so just tell me". I took a deep breath and swallowed spit. Then I looked at the ground and mumbled "because I kind of like you". He laughs out loud a says "ARE YOU SERIOUS?" Thinking I had just completely humiliated my self I start to walk away. "Wait, what's wrong? don't go". He starts to tell me something and I cut him off as I turn red and say " I've always liked you but I was always afraid to tell you, or even talk to you for that matter. I don't know if you have a girlfriend, or what, and I didn't want to take a chance to tell you because I thought you would find it gross and call me names or punch me." Then I started to breathe hard. I felt like I was going to faint. "Look, just so you know" he says "yes I have had a girlfriend before but I've always wanted to know how it felt to kiss another boy." I was shocked, I had no idea he felt that way. "Really?" I asked. "Yeah really, but I didn't know if there were any other boys who felt the way I did" He told me. "I thought I was the only one". I felt like a big weight was lifted off my shoulders. He said "How about this, since your mom isn't home. What if we go to your house and we try and make out? If you don't want to, it's ok". Then I thought about it for a minute. I didn't know how to kiss because I had never done it before. "What if I don't know how"? I asked him. "Its ok, I can show you how". A big smile appeared on my face. "Ok, I'll do it." We started walking to my house and we were walking kind of fast as if we were both anxious to get to it. Then we finally get to my house. I go inside first just to make sure the coast is clear. It is. We go to my room and I close the door behind us. For about five minutes we sat there not saying a word, just looking around the room wondering who would make the first move. Jeremy grabs my hand and says "ok, are you ready?" I wasn't but I said "yeah I think so". He sits directly in front of me, takes a deep breath and says. "Close your eyes and stick out you lips". So I did, my adrenaline was crazy and I could feel him getting closer to me. Finally our lips touched. I felt like my body was on fire. He tilted his head to the side and eased his tongue between my lips as he caressed his tongue with mine. I began to get aroused. Suddenly he out his hand on my thigh and slowly moved it up toward my erected dick. But I stopped him and said "wait, I've never had anyone touch me there. I don't know what I'm doing". "Relax" he said "just lay on down and don't move". So I laid down and placed my hands on my side. Then I could feel him pulling off my shorts. He started stroking my dick with his hands. My boxers were getting wet. "Why are my underwear wet, what happened?" I asked him. "That's normal" he said, "don't worry." Then he gradually pulled my boxers off. My hard dick slapped my stomach. I felt his hand grip my cock and began to feel something wet and warm around it. I opened my eyes to see and there he was with my dick in his mouth. I could feel his tongue moving around. I had never felt anything like that before. He took one of his hands and began to rub my lips with his finger as he placed his finger in my mouth. He was still sucking my dick and I was sucking his finger. With his other hand he licked one of his fingers and put it on my hole as he rubbed up and down. Jeremy could tell that I liked what he was doing because I started to move my pelvis up and down making the strokes bigger from his finger on my hole. "Can I do something else to you?" He asked. I was so into what he was doing I just said yes and didn't think twice about it. He took off his pants, got his hand dripping wet with saliva, rubbed it onto his dick and placed his dick on my virgin hole. "This might hurt a little" he said, "but don't worry, the pain will only last for a minute". He placed my legs in the air and slowly slid his dick inside me. I let a little crying moan. "Are you ok?" he asked. "Yyyeeeaahhh" I moaned out. Then he be started thrusting back and forth back and forth. It felt so weird but at the same time it felt so good. Stroking my cock at the same time he started to move a little faster. "WAIT wait, I think I need to pee". I tell him. " No, no, no that's how its supposed to fee, just relax your body and let it happen". He says. Then I realized peeing doesn't feel this way. My entire body felt the way your tongue feels when you place it on a 9 volt battery. My moaning became louder and louder as he stroked my dick faster. Then I felt this sensational explosion come from my dick as I came all over my chest, my neck and my face. He quickly pulled his dick out, started stroking himself and came all over my stomach. He must have really enjoyed it because he licked the cum off my neck making my body tremble like an earthquake. I felt like I was on top of the world. I just lay there and smiled. "Oh damn, so that's how it feels?" I said in an exhausted voice. "It feels great doesn't it?" He said. Heck yeah. I couldn't help myself after that. I was rambling on and on like a chatter box. "You're the first person who's virginity I've taken" he told me. Not sure how that comment was supposed to make me feel I asked "is that a good thing or a bad thing?" It's good I guess" he answered. "Please don't tell anyone what we did. I don't know how they'll react!" He told me with a worried expression. "I wont say anything". I assured him. Then he put his clothes on and told me he had to leave. As he was going out the front door he turned around and looked at me with this fire burning in his eyes. "Don't expect me to do that again!" He said, with a tone that was so hurtful. My eyes filled with tears and it felt like my heart was crushed. "Wait, what did I do wrong?" I asked him. He never answered me, slammed the door on his way out and ran to his house. I was so confused. The only person I ever really liked just treated me like some dime store hooker.

We never spoke after that. I could understand if I had been the one to come on to him, but he initiated everything and just like that he was gone. I didn't attempt to speak to him anymore from that moment anymore. When He would see me in the neighborhood, he acted like I didn't even exist. My feelings had never been so hurt. I didn't mention any of this to my mom.

Now that I'm not in Texas anymore and my mom is gone, I wish I could go back in time and tell my mom what happened. I was afraid though that she wouldn't have been happy with me. It's funny how when someone close to you dies, you have so many things you wish you could have told them and never did. I suppose that's guilt that eats away at you. I finally decide to grab my umbrella and head outside into the rain just to look around the area. I remember reading on the internet about an area here called the Castro District. That's where I decided I would go just to check it out. When I get to Castro I see all these rainbow flags flying on so many buildings, and even though it was raining out there were quite a few people walking around. Men and women holding hands. Being from Texas, you would never see anything like this. People were too prejudice against gays. Seeing this however made me feel so comfortable. I consider myself to be a fairly attractive guy, but seeing so many guys breaking their neck to get a glance at me made me kind of feel like a celebrity. Some of the guys were even so bold as to ask me if I wanted to go back to their place. I didn't want to do that because I felt they only wanted to take advantage of me sexually then kick me to the curb. I couldn't put myself through that again. Once was enough. I took my time to walk through the Castro District, checking out the shops and looked at some of the restaurants. For the most part everyone here was so friendly. This is something I could definitely get used to. I decided I couldn't enjoy it as much as I wanted to because of all the rain so I headed back home. When I got home I had an email from a guy named Chris Johnson. He had responded to my profile I had set up online. It read, Hey my name is Chris. I saw your profile and wondered if you'd be up to meet. I am a 22 year old male, African American. 6'2 with a husky build. If your interested give me a call. He left me his phone number. That was a fast response I thought to myself. The only thing is that I don't know what I'm going to say when I call. So I waited until the next afternoon to call.

The next day came so quickly I still wasn't prepared to call him, but I did. It was about 1:30pm when I called him. "Hello, this is Chris". He said when he answered. "Hi Chris, my name is Bobby. You left me you number yesterday." Excited that I called he said, "Oh hey what's up Bobby, how's it going? Thanks for calling back". I didn't really know how to start off our conversation so I started with- "No problem, how are you?" We began talking. He tells me about himself and what he does for a living and what he likes to do for fun. I explained to him about me moving from Texas trying get a fresh start here in California. Before I knew it four hours had passed since we started talking. He really seemed to like me. But I wanted to meet him in person to see how our chemistry was. We continued to call each other for about three weeks before we even met face to face. I was really excited to meet him.

Throughout the three weeks we had exchanged pictures, and so many emails texts and phone calls, you would have thought we'd known each other for years. I felt so connected with Chris on so many levels. This was the happiest I had ever been. We finally decide to meet up the following week. He took me out to the movies which was great and we held hands the entire movie. As we're walking out of the theater he says "I think we should got to prison". I though to myself, as I thought I'd found a guy I really like, here comes the criminal. I stopped in my tracks, looked at him and said are you crazy? I should have known you were some kind of psycho". He starts laughing hysterically and says "I don't mean prison for real, calm down. I meant for us to go on the tour of Alcatraz." This dumb founded look appears on my face, I laugh and say "oooohhh ok, you had me kind of scared for a second". That was a big relief. We go on the tour and everything was so nice. I was really beginning to fall for this guy. We start heading back to his car and in the parking lot I see a bumper sticker on a car that said If your gonna ride my ass, at least pull my hair!

Suddenly I got this curiosity to know how big Chris's dick was. I had always heard that black guys had big cocks, something came over me and I just had to know if the rumors were true. "What would you like to do next?" He asked. "I was wondering if we could enjoy a quiet, rest of our evening at you place?" Feeling like I was jumping out on a limb by asking him, surprisingly he says "you know what? I was thinking the exact same thing. Sure, let's go." Off to his house we go. We get to his house in 20 minutes. However, it seemed much shorter than that. When we get inside he says "make yourself at home. I'm going in the kitchen for a second." Chris enters the kitchen and take off my coat and lay it on the couch. I slowly walk around the living room looking at photos on the walls of his house and all the décor. Chris comes back into the living room with two classes of wine in his hands. "You do know I'm not old enough to drink right?" I ask him. I've never had wine before and always wanted to try it. He said "If you'd like, you can stay the night." The idea sounded nice so I agreed to stay the night. I took my first sip of the red wine he'd given me. The taste was so strong yet so good. I could feel the alcohol slightly numbing my tongue. We talked for a few minutes about the day and how fun it was. Then I started to feel my body relax, my mood changes to a friendly touchy feely mood. We sit on the couch and both laugh, with no reason to be laughing. The laughing stopped and we stared at each other for a few seconds. I leaned forward and begin to play with his curly dark hair and look into his light brown eyes. He leaned in put his hands on my shoulders and slowly pushed me back. Moving my legs onto his couch and around his waist. He then placed himself in top of me with your bodies touching as he grinds his pelvis against mine. The feel of his cock through his shorts felt mesmerizing. I could feel every detail of his dick firmly rubbing on mine. I placed my arms around his neck and he placed his on the front of my pants. I can feel my pants being unbuttoned. Slowly he pulls my pants off, then my underwear. My legs get lifted in the air and I feel the warmth from Chris's tongue getting my ass soaked and dripping wet as he tongue fuck my tight throbbing hole. It feels so good I can't be still. Lick after lick makes my body convulse. He takes two fingers and slides them inside me slowly. Getting my ass ready for that dick. He stops, pulls my body down onto the floor. My ass is on the floor and my head just above the cushions. Chris grabs the back of my head and slowly slides his dick inside my mouth. I can't believe how big it feels in my mouth. I try so hard to keep from gagging. The more he shoves his cock down my throat the harder and wetter my dick gets. "You like the way that black dick tastes?" He asks. In my mind I'm answering out loud "YES DADDY YES!!!" But my mouth is so full of this chocolate dick, I cant begin to speak. Then is this voice that almost makes me cum on self says. "Dammit white boy, I'm about to fuck that ass up"! A side of me I've never seen appeared and said "oh fuck yeah, this is all yours." Chris turned me around to where my dick was laying on the seat cushion. He grabs a tube of lube he had in his pants pocket Drips some on my ass and lubes hi cock. Now he's rubbing my hole with the bottom of his dick. Gently he starts to penetrate me. His dick is so long, I can feel it in my stomach as I let out a loud moan. He doesn't move for about a minute. Wrapping his left hand around my neck he pulls my head back sliding his tongue in my mouth. He moans as we kiss. Then he slowly starts moving his pelvis back and forth pulling his dick all the way out and sliding it completely in. Now he starts to push himself into me even faster, pounding my ass. I can hear his pelvis slapping my ass and I moan loudly with every powerful hit. "I wanna cum in your mouth." He grunts. Turns me over, strokes his dick with one hand and holds my chin with the other. "Open your mouth, I'm about to cum!" He yells loudly as a warm strong shot of cum squirts into my mouth, another on my face and in my hair. "I'm still cumming" he shouts. Two more shots hit me on my right cheek. Chris kneels down and sucks my dick. His mouth feels so warm. You're gonna make me cum. I can feel cum as it shoots onto his mouth. This time I holler as my orgasm takes over my body. He swallows and says "It tastes so sweet!" We lie down and both let out a sigh of relief. "Bobby, that was awesome. That was more than just sex. That was like we were one. It was like....... Sunshine!!!" Is this the connection I was hoping to feel? Or was this just short term I asked myself. At this point I felt this would be more than short term. I leaned over and kissed him. We went into the bedroom cuddled and I slept until late the next morning. When I woke up Chris was gone. I looked all around the room and began to get scared. There was a note on the bedside table that read

Last night was amazing Bobby. I had to run into work for an emergency and I didn't want to wake you. There is a key on the kitchen counter for you. I hope you take it. I'll give you a call later.

Chris.