A common term for conventional sex, in which no kink is involved. Generally involved oral sex, and basic intercourse, in heterosexual relations. Homosexuals usually consider it to not include any type of anal penetration.



Usually in reference to plain sex.

Involves usually more romance, and no kink or pain such as found in SandM.

Considered to refer to sex, among homosexuals, where penetration does not occur, in any form.

Involves masturbation, such hand jacking, or even oral sex, with a great deal of touching, of gentle loving foreplay.


The term comes from the use of Vanilla extract, in the making of vanilla ice cream, implying a rather plain variety or choice, hence its use in this form.

Different cultures have different criteria, for determining what is considered, 'standard' sexual activity.


Vanilla sex is determined by the partners involved, though it generally is accepted that cuddling, kissing, gentle touching, and masturbation are the more accepted practices.

No kink or twisted sex is involved, such as use of even sexual aids, or thinks like being held down.

Pain does not figure into the equation, which is why many homosexuals exclude anal sex, as being part of vanilla sex.

However, others claim that simple penetration, anal intercourse, is vanilla sex, when it is just that, with no added kink or twists.

Mainly, this is sexual relations in which both partners, perform according to the basic tastes of the other partner.

One who doesn't enjoy oral sex, therefore would not be forced into it, or cajoled into trying it.

This holds true for all type of sex, among the two partners, where each respects the tastes of the other, in very basic form.

BDSM, Kink, or Fetish sexual practice is not part of any vanilla sexual experience, and is thought of as a turn off, by those who prefer conventional sex, to experimentation.

Practice (Associated Acts):

As it applies to heterosexual sex, generally only the act of intercourse, performed in the missionary position, is considered vanilla sex.


In a relationship, where one partner is less adventuresome, or reluctant to experiment, they can be dubbed the 'vanilla partner'.

It does not necessarily mean they don't experiment, just that one is more reluctant than the other.

Many do not enjoy the sense of experimenting with their own sexual limits, and can be considered dull or boring by their partners.

For many, the exposure to experimenting is discomforting, and they achieve their pleasure, from the routine of ordinary sex, based on their own preferences, and limits.

Other meanings

Can refer to where one of the parties involved, is white in skin color.

This would further imply that the other is of a different skin color.

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