• Public Exposure: Pants Are So Overrated

    Public Exposure: Pants Are So Overrated

    There are lots of overrated things in this world, like This Is Us, Star Wars, poutine, and Taylor Swift. Okay, that's subjective, but what's not subjective in the slightest is that pants are overrated.

    And don't tell me pants are needed to hold keys and wallets. Nope, that's what a shirt pocket, personal assistant, purse, or purse-carrying personal assistant are for. When lovely nudity is involved, a complementary personal assistant is sure to follow.

    Though if they go the pantless route too, they'll need a personal assistant too. So we may end up with an infinite line of pantless men. I'm not hearing any complaints, except maybe from laundry detergent companies. But the inventors of those super dangerous laundry pods really have no moral authority here. So, pants off.

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  • Public Exposure: Lots of Cock and Muscles

    Public Exposure: Lots of Cock and Muscles

    If you're going to expose yourself, show up to the party with plenty to offer. Conveniently, the party is wherever you happen to be naked at the time. A clothing-optional beach is an obvious choice, but it becomes more of a party with a throbbing erection.

    So much for nudism and sex supposedly not going together. Or at least that's what certain respectable nudist camps say. I suppose, unfortunately, that's true for some.

    The DJ is spinning while hard. He's both the visual and auditory party. Full package there. Very full package. Maybe later he'll spin on something or someone else.

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  • Public Exposure: Naked Guys Do the Darndest Things

    Public Exposure: Naked Guys Do the Darndest Things

    There are many semi-shocking things naked guys do. One is wear a hat. What are they trying to hide!? A second penis on their head? No, can't be that, else they'd be wearing very tall top hats, in case of erection.

    I suppose the three guys wearing hats here (plus one with a headband) are just maintaining a sense of individual style, or just shielding themselves from the elements.

    But to me, a hat on a naked guy just makes the rest of them look even more naked. Sort of like when a dick hangs out of an open fly. It's not so much about the clothing, but the contrasting dick. Though the singer who has managed to lose his pants on stage may find folks not fully connecting with his lyrics.

    Unless they are something like "You're staring at my obscenely large, hard penis. Yes you are. Baby baby baby."

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  • Public Exposure: Super Classy Super Naked Guys

    Public Exposure: Super Classy Super Naked Guys

    These guys epitomize class. Their partially to fully nude bodies in various states of erection are the gold standard of high society. They have both vim and verve and should be welcome at all the finest dinner parties and operatic recitals.

    I may have a warped definition of class.

    But you have to admit that all of these images together can add up to a wonderfully classy date with one special man. Before he gets ready to take you out for the day, he has to climb a ladder to do that house repair you requested. Don't you love a handy guy (who gives handies)?

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  • Public Exposure: #NAKEDANDUNAFRAID

    Public Exposure: #NAKEDANDUNAFRAID

    While that exact guy may not be "trending right now," it's safe to say that exposed cock is. I propose the entire Keeping Up with the Kardashians franchise (and the careers and sub-careers of all those in that utterly commercialized "family") be replaced by hours of cock and ass. It would definitely be more socially redeeming and politically relevant.

    Possibly he and five of the six other guys here are strictly focused on getting the requisite vitamin D into their systems through a few minutes of sun exposure, and it's a known scientific fact that absorbing vitamin D through the epidermis of the penis and/or ass is highly efficient. And masturbatory.

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  • Public Exposure: Totally Naked and Totally Outside

    Public Exposure: Totally Naked and Totally Outside

    If a guy is all the way naked, his main worries are where to put his wallet and what if nobody takes his photo. Because being naked in public is pretty much begging for exposure. So let's applaud these guys on their success.

    Technically the guy walking at night while holding his shorts looks a bit startled by his flashing being caught with a camera flash. But, as his shorts don't appear caked in mud or otherwise unwearable, I don't think he'll be too bothered, especially considering his partially obscured walking buddy is naked too. 

    Because "wearing" another naked guy to cover one's own nakedness doesn't exactly qualify as clothed.

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  • Public Exposure: Bros Before Clothes

    Public Exposure: Bros Before Clothes

    I probably got that phrase wrong, because most of these guys are hoes. Allegedly. Now so I don't get anything else wrong, someone needs to explain to me the erection of the guy sucking beer from a hose. Because his dick is not just a matter of gravity. There's a definite boner situation happening.

    Maybe it's some evil frat initiation involving Viagra and beer? More likely he's just excited at being manhandled while the center of attention. Or he has a hose-sucking fetish. All I know is I hope to never see him at a Pride Parade. 

    Oh wait, this is probably from a Pride Parade afterparty. Kids today.

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  • Public Exposure: Front Yard Underwear Work Out

    He describes his video as "Weighted pull ups, full range lateral raises, and some core stuff." 

    That would be softcore. Because it's straight out of 1992 Playgirl for a guy to be outdoors in his Calvin Klein underwear, muscles straining. The casual dog walker who strolls into frame toward the beginning and officially doesn't give a fuck has clearly seen him doing his thing before. 

    Meanwhile, I'd have asked him if he wants a workout partner. And that includes if I didn't even live in his neighborhood. See, I'd have to put my pants inside his house before we went out in our underwear to exercise, thus giving me a reason to go back into the house after our workout.

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  • Public Exposure: Ballet Muscle Butt Training

    Not all glutes are borne from squats at the gym. Ballet is also the source of many a sculpted ass cheek. I think that's why it was invented. Maybe also so classical music makes more sense.

    Here's the delightfully confident, stylist and giggly-voiced Kyle Krieger learning ballet moves for his ass from his professional ballet dancer friend Harper. Incredibly in-shape guys queening out over ass muscles? Sign me up. 

    And since this is about public exposure, he decided to put this online. And since I have lightning fast screencapping abilities (or at least know how to set YouTube videos to 1/4 speed and pause in the right place), the thumbnail shows his ass in a dance belt.

    To the uninitiated, that's the world's most powerful thong and it can't ride up. It's already there.

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  • Public Exposure: Casually Fucking Naked

    Public Exposure: Casually Fucking Naked

    Erections don't disqualify someone's nudity from being casual. Ironically, neither would wearing a bow tie. Though Chippendales dancers who take their jobs super seriously may disagree.

    The guy bathed in the flashbulb light goes unnoticed by the crowd partying in the parking lot. Or maybe they all noticed him and just think to themselves: "Oh, it's naked Patrick again. Whatever. Time for more beer! And less panties!"

    The folks on the train seem to not give a damn either. Maybe there are several other naked people in the same train car just out of frame so the clothed people are outnumbered. Or they just assume it's performance art. And they don't want to give the artist the satisfaction of appearing shocked.

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  • Public Exposure: Bodybuilder's Ass Eats His Underwear

    Watch this and decide if you can forgive him for his messy apartment. He seems to otherwise be making good use of his time, with an estimated 25 hours a day at the gym. That's an exaggeration. Let's say 22 hours at the gym and three hours posing for himself and anyone who will watch.

    I'm not certain of his forms of income, but I expect one is quality control tester of underwear. Because an underwear manufacturer knows if their products can survive the onslaught that is his ass, they can survive anything.

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  • Public Exposure: Penises Need Fresh Air Too

    Public Exposure: Penises Need Fresh Air Too

    Look at things from the point of view of a penis. Sure, underwear can be comfy. Everyone needs support at least some of the time. Penises can't always go it alone. 

    But sometimes they just need to breathe. They need fresh air and sometimes sunshine at the same time. A penis with Vitamin D deficiency is not a life goal. That's Vitamin Dick if you were wondering.

    Technically, just whipping out the cock would be enough, but sometimes a penis gets lonely and needs the rest of the body to match its exposure. So the penis will take its owner for a walk in public. Or sometimes the owner take the penis for a walk. They're a team.

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  • Public Exposure: Completely Naked

    Public Exposure: Completely Naked

    As long as you don't count a necklace, bracelets, and cock ring, these guys are all totally naked. You can excuse them leaving those accessories on (especially the cock ring) because they have no pockets.

    They do have a pocket in the form of a friend. Whoever took the photo is probably that friend, but two of the shots may have been taken by an onlooker at a distance. 

    The guy pissing on the beach seems oblivious, though somewhat posed. And the long-dicked guy standing by the water was similarly oblivious. He also had been standing next to a woman, which for some reason I cropped out. It is GayDemon after all so let's all pretend he's single.

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  • Public Exposure: Can You Count the Naked Guys?

    Public Exposure: Can You Count the Naked Guys?

    There are totally not 512 naked guys here. But that's the only hint I'm giving you. When figuring out a puzzle, it's important to take an inventory of all the tools at one's disposal. You can zoom in and out. Turn your screen upside down. Turn yourself sideways. Or ask the guys in the pictures to count themselves.

    That last one only helps if you tend to experience auditory hallucinations. And I'm not going to judge that because talking to naked guys in photos would be a fine way to spend an evening. Way better than watching The Voice. There are no naked guys on The Voice, much to waste of musical space Adam Levine's displeasure, since he's so personally into nudity.

    You'll need to focus on counting. One penis, two penis, red penis, blue penis. Shameless showoff #1, even more shameless showoff #2, and so on. I'm rooting for you to be right. You can do it.

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  • Public Exposure: Lean Muscle and Big Cock Showoffs

    Public Exposure: Lean Muscle and Big Cock Showoffs

    When you spend a lot of time working out your body and cock, you want to show it off. A naked bike ride is a popular way to combine showing off and working out. Though people should keep to their own bikes with such things. Spin classes are obnoxious enough.

    While it's possible some of these photos are retouched, with body proportions changed (muscles and cock), more commonly public exposure photos are the body as is. Selfies at home are more likely to undergo tweaking. But as someone who has never had an interest in hearing weak-voiced pop stars in their real voices, I have no issue with electronically modified beauty, whether vocal or physical.

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