Noah

Noah writes gay porn site reviews for GayDemon, with the goal of being the Pauline Kael of porn (except for the part where she's dead). He got his start writing dirty stories for classic print mags in the '90s. He also wrote a modestly popular solo blog for five years, zines, and a column in an alt-weekly. He calls Seattle home and plans to be a holographic interstellar porn model in 2039.


  • Kink Spotlight: Low-Hanging Balls

    Kink Spotlight: Low-Hanging Balls

    This isn't quite like calling a dick a kink. Because being into dick is a pretty basic thing. Even being into balls is fairly basic since they come along for the ride. Nope. Low-hanging balls. Swinging sack of potatoes. Cum-filled plums. 

    I'm allowed to call them things that aren't popular sayings. Soon the world will be shouting cum-filled plums from all the rooftops of apartment buildings that house guys with cum-filled plums.

    Or going nonverbal with your interest is fine too. Love is an action, right? So love of low-hanging balls is an action too.

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  • Ask GayDemon: Friends Without Boundaries

    Ask GayDemon: Friends Without Boundaries

    I'm single but date quite regularly. My problem is that my friends don't have a hands-off policy and constantly come on to my dates. And I'm not talking about secretly slipping a phone number into his hand. WTF? Do I need new friends?

    -Third Wheel

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  • Flashback: What's Under the Underwear?

    Flashback: What's Under the Underwear?

    Banana hammocks go way back. Cleopatra required her suitors wear them. Though they were made from actual bananas at the time. Nowadays there are so many modern choices for junk huggers.

    But I still dig the basic elements of the penis equation. Fabric plus bulge equals happiness. Some things never change.

    Also, exposed underwear and/or penis hanging out of underwear remains a great asset in a job interview. Though it generally only works if the hiring manager is an unrepentant, unethical pervert.

    Watch Vintage Gay Porn at Retro Males

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  • Public Exposure: Mature Muscle

    So there's this guy on YouTube who has a few halfhearted videos and an ebook. He can't much compete with the whole Abs After 40 thing, and who could because if you don't have abs when you turn 40 your torso can't hold you up and you keep toppling over into a big vat of pancake batter.

    But this guy, who goes by the powerful YouTube handle "Richard," blows them all away. With his ass. With this extremely perverted close-up view of him working out his ass in public in a gym. 

    Now there's nothing wrong with him doing that. But just imagine people seeing the cameraperson holding the camera between Richard's legs from behind. Hey Richard, I'm available for that job anytime!

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  • Kink Spotlight: Deep Cut Tank Tops

    Kink Spotlight: Deep Cut Tank Tops

    I've been too distracted by the potential awfulness of men who wear deep cut tank tops to really focus on the benefits. My experience is limited to jerks at the gym. Profoundly jerky jerks. Or probably they are if I talked to them.

    But I am certain there are non-horrible people who wear these. And the main thing that's not horrible about them is their calm, focused intent to display pecs and nips and a sneak peak of abs. All of this in a casual way, like accidentally leaving one's fly unzipped. Except on purpose.

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  • Public Exposure: "Hey Look I'm Naked!"

    Public Exposure: "Hey Look I'm Naked!"

    That's the thought bubble over most of these guys' heads. Because they don't need to scream it when it's true. Though I bet the group of naked guys cheering the bike race while naked are screaming it.

    So what's a group of naked guys called? If a group of crows is a murder and a group of lions is a pride and a group of dolphins is a pod, then a group of naked guys is definitely called a party.

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  • Flashback: So Many Reasons to be Naked

    Flashback: So Many Reasons to be Naked

    Naked tug of war sure makes the nakedness totally innocent. If it weren't for the thousands of people masturbating to the pictures of naked tug of war. Yes thousands I'm sure even back then. 

    The anatomical study of the gridded photos is also totally innocent. But the jockstrap just makes it more obscene. Thanks jockstrap manufacturer from about 50 years ago! You're awesome! And probably dead by now! Why am I shouting?! Oh yeah, because the person is dead and I want them to hear me.

    Watch Vintage Gay Porn at Retro Males

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  • Kink Spotlight: Big Tongue Party

    Kink Spotlight: Big Tongue Party

    Have you ever French kissed someone for the first time and realize your stroke of luck as their tongue snakes between your lips and takes over? Mega long and/or wide tongues aren't a guarantee of pleasure but when a guy know how to use it, they sure can help.

    And that can include him using his own tongue on himself. Because he can.

    It's such a random thing that you don't exactly see personal ads "Seeking Long Tongue for Long Hot Times" or "Seeking Long Tongue Guy for Long-Term Relationship" but it's still a nice bonus to discover during dating. Or when his mouth is already wrapped around your cock and his tongue joins in.

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  • Ask GayDemon: Macho vs. Feminine

    Ask GayDemon: Macho vs. Feminine

    I'm attracted to guys who are on the feminine side, for the lack of a better word, although I really don't like labeling people. However, most of my friends are macho sports jocks (there's that label again) and they give me a hard time about the guys I date. They tease me and make disparaging comments. Is it time to find new friends?

    -Frisky for Femmes

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  • Flashback: Timeless Hotness

    Flashback: Timeless Hotness

    Thank goodness folks who took pictures of naked guys for publication had standards! Just so long as those don't oppress every day folks. But I'm more than happy for the photographer to have been, "Yep, I'm hiring you because you have a great body and cock." 

    Or "Yep, I'm hiring you because you have a great cock." Or "Yep, let me suck your cock and I'll hire you."

    Well that last one is a bit shady.

    Watch Vintage Gay Porn at Retro Males

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