What does your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man do on his time off? For one thing, he enjoys lazily putting on his costume, which he normally has to don in an instant.
And he enjoys his $599 Ikea couch.
As for enjoying his Spidey penis, it looks like that radioactive spider gave him powers in that area also. From what he can tell, he could climb a skyscraper using just his penis. Or at least, that's what it feels like to him.
Of course he keeps his identity secret throughout, including not having the sound on. Just fill in the Marvel soundtrack in your head, imagining little Spidey moans. Peter Parker is the ultimate jock nerd and has a fine moan when he focuses.
He may be thinking about Mary Jane the whole time. Or maybe Gwen Stacy. Though I'm thinking he's daydreaming about the clueless college hunk Flash Armstrong. No relation to The Flash.
No matter what he's thinking about, he delivers a web. And it's not from his wrists. He appears to have a third web shooter that hadn't yet been captured on film.
Stop the presses. This definitely should be on the front page of The Daily Bugle tomorrow.