There are a lot of criteria when it comes to deciding if a guy is suckable or not. Look past the tight body and handsome, devilish face and you'll get to the actual, complete list of suck criteria. This was a long, hard list to come up with and has been tested by a scientist with a Master's degree in Suckology, and a B.S. Rimming with a minor in Philosophy.
And of those, he hasn't used the Philosophy minor for anything except in creating an "I SUCK THEREFORE I AM" t-shirt.
So what is the scientifically-tested list of suck criteria?