You, you're everything I want... I, I'm everything you need... This hunger seems to feed on me, they can never know just what we've done... they will never know the lives we left, or the ghosts we leave in our wake. We knew how this would end, but we continued despite everything...
I wake up slowly, feeling the darkness through my closed eyes. Its probably not even close to sunrise. Sleep isn't something I can do anymore, not since I met him. I open my eyes and turn my head to look at him. I stare at his slumbering form, I cant help but smile, he lays on his side I stare at his hand on my waist. His need to constantly touch me, even when sleeping. His hands show his labor of a working man rough, and firm. Trailing up his lightly hairy arms to his biceps, his recent trips to the gym paying off, he was solid when we met, now its his "toning" faze as he calls it. I look at his chest his slight hair covering most of it, with his cute little nipples. I love nothing more then putting my face there for any reason I can find. up his neck to this jaw strong and square, now hanging open with his "pass out" sleep ritual. To his nose broken and bent but, its not ugly, it looks good on him like a tribute to his past fights. his warm cheeks puffed out with each breath, I stare for a minute watching them puff up and fall with his breathing.
Up to his eyes, even closed I could just stare all day. I regret nothing I've done since I've met him and I don't want to. He must of sensed that I woke up (with his creepy powers of doing that) and slowly opened one and looked back. the eyes a green, a beautiful Irish valley green that makes life seem better. Now fully awake he props his head up while trying to flex for me, giving me his goofy smirk. I know what he wants, round two. I cant help but giggle just a little, and that's all the reason he needs to pull me close and kiss me. his lips soft, and warm inviting in so many ways. I roll on my back, he understands, he furrows his eyes brows, at my gesture. we are both tired in the early morning but I'm not gonna do the work, plus I think he likes when I get submissive. he grunts and rolls on top, covering my face with kisses, licking my neck and ears. his legs push mine apart as he pushes himself up so I can breathe. he's much bigger then me, and I love it. he runs one hand down my face stroking my cheek, making its way to my belly where he makes little circles. his way of calming me when I'm nervous. I always get nervous when we are naked like this. his big frame, beefy and just solid that all American man look, compared to my less the average frame. his skin making mine look even more white, and he doesn't even tan, just pale and thin. except my legs, I was cursed with athletic legs after a life of being lazy they still look like I run a lot, and it makes me feel like I'm uneven, and too hairy like at any minute hes gonna see me and freak out, tell me I'm ugly and gross. he claims I'm cute or sexy, but no matter what with all his attention I feel, well ugly. I'm taken from my thoughts by his lips meeting mine. I don't know how and he swears he cant, but he always knows what I'm thinking or feeling. he sits up straight on his legs and runs his hands down my body stopping only to play with my bellybutton quickly before reaching lower. he licks one finger and places it on the tip and slowly slides it to the base, I shiver and whine, he loves playing with me, and I hate it.
He continues his little finger play for a few more minutes before bending down it lick me from base to tip, his tongue fat and wet, I cant help but let a moan slip. this he likes, and quickly pulls me into his mouth where he runs his tongue all around making me squirm and shiver. he slides a finger lower making small circle from base down to my hole. there he sits and just rubs it over and over, ignoring my moans and attempts to push down onto his finger. I go to sit up and take control, but he wont have any part of it, with his other hand he pushes me down and keeps his hand on my face holding me down as he slurps and rubs as much as he pleases. then when he gets bored he sucks on his finger and slides one home, this causes me to jerk and moan very loudly. this he likes very much as he smirks at me again and removes his hand from my face. I try to talk but he shuts me up by jamming his fingers in y mouth and adding a second finger. I squirm and moan around his finger, then suck on them. that really gets him going. he pulls out his finger from both holes and pulls me forward then pushes me down again. this time on my belly he puts himself in front of me and slides in my mouth. its awkward for me but he seems to like it so he just sits there letting me slobber all over him. while I'm busy sucking, he runs his hands down my back and onto my ass. walking his finger down the paw prints I have tattooed there(I really do) before smacking my cheeks hard. I bite his dick a little, making him yelp, its my code for do that again and you'll regret it.
After a couple more minutes he flips me over onto my back again. he gets up and walks off, mean time I start drifting off back into sleep. just on the edge of falling asleep he climbs back in between my legs and chuckles at me. he pushes my legs up and hold them and then pushes in. still sore from his earlier pounding, I grunt and wake right up, he slows his entry and with him still in me rolls me on top of him. I normally would ride him, but tonight he sits up and wraps my legs around him with me in his lap he starts pumping. he feels even better tonight, warmer some how. I bury my face in his chest as he continues to have his way moaning into his chest an squirming on his lap. after about ten minutes he rolls me back onto my back grabbing my shoulders he starts to get rough. I know hes getting close cause he really starts pumping, skin making smacking noises every time it touches. I never tell him it hurts when he does this, but I just work through it jerking off to keep up with him. after one rather hard push, I pop and cum shooting on my belly. with that he grunts and gives my ass 3 good extra slams and grunts loudly. he came, I can tell, and he has the proud just got laid look on. he leans in close kisses my lips, cheek, then earlobe, he whispers "don't be mad". I look at him confused, then he pulls out, and sits up. and I see his dick, his bare dick. I just gape at him, my mouth not able to make words. he smiles sheepishly and shrugs. I've never done bareback before, and I just look at him, I feel betrayed. he kisses my forehead and says, "its ok thought because I love you." with that he reaches under the bed and pulls out a box with a silver ring. I know cheesy right? but he purposed right there I in bed. I start crying and say yes and he hugs me.
I'd like t say we lived happily ever after, that we found eternal love... but this is real life. I found out three months later he was sleeping with someone else, younger then my 19 years of age. but he gave me something I can always remember him by, I found out I was HIV+ 6 months later. I've only been with one person in my life. from the age of 16 when we met to 19. now I'm struggling to even be normal.