I've been writing all my life - but not professionally ever. I have short stories, longer stuff, poems, things that I intend to turn into novels, etc. For money I mostly work as a bartender or a waiter - wherever I can find work. Gives me time to write during the day and enough money to pay for the apartment I share with two of my college friends (both women). I figured that I might have enough money saved to apply for an MFA program in writing next year. I think it will cover the first semester, anyway.
Anyway, I decided I'd join a writer's group to see if I could get any feedback on some of my stuff, other than the 'that's great!' feedback I get from my roommates and my other friends. I searched for a while online and found one that meets once a week on Tuesday nights - usually my night off. I dragged one of my roommates with me the first time - I was sort of intimidated already, not knowing what to expect.
The group meets in a room at a nearby community college. The leader of the group is an instructor there and it's run outside of the school. When we walked in, we saw about ten people seated in desks in a circle.
'Come in, welcome! I'm Carol, the group leader. Have a seat and enjoy!'
'Thanks,' I smiled.
Regina and I sat down kind of behind the others. I looked around and checked out the others - about five men and five women including Carol. The women ranged from gray-haired artsy types to one goth girl to one generic sort of woman. The men were interesting, particularly one of them. The four others were ordinary Joe types, a couple of them pretty cute, but the fifth one made me jump slightly - the most beautiful man I've seen in years - black curly hair, the kind that is longish (to his jaw) and the kind that keeps getting in your face when you look down so you have to push it back constantly. Awesome glasses, very faded jeans, Converse high-tops, an old looking vintage plaid shirt, open, with a gray t-shirt underneath. His face was almost angelic, but he had a slight five o'clock shadow, great white teeth and I think, brown eyes. I couldn't take my eyes off of him - he didn't see me really, which was good because I think my mouth fell open while I studied him.
Regina knew and she elbowed me and whispered, 'Jim - stop staring! You look like you're drooling over that guy! He's cute, but for fuck's sake stop staring!' I snapped out of it and tried to listen in on the discussion. Carol, the leader, began talking about a piece that one of the gray-haired artsy ladies was working on. I didn't bother to hear or listen to anything she was saying, much less offer commentary. Then she turned her attention to that guy - the guy!
'So for those of you who may have forgotten - Kyle is going to give us some of his gay supernatural love story for next week's discussion. Kyle - want to say anything as I pass these out?'
'Um, just be gentle - I am really new to writing fiction, much less a dark, magical love story,' and everyone smiled. 'I really want some feedback on the main character - the human - if he seems realistic enough.'
One of the average Joes raised his hand. 'So if we're straight, will we be able to sort it out?' and Kyle seemed to grow slightly annoyed. 'Yes, him being gay doesn't have much to do with it - I want feedback on his voice, descriptions, etc. Tell me if you can see him as I do. Appreciate it, thanks,' and he held his head down a bit while Carol took over.
'Okay, everyone has a copy - even our new guests - hope you don't mind Kyle - and let's take the week to read what he's given us and take notes. Kyle, can we give out your email address in case someone has a question before we meet?'
'Sure,' he said and he wrote it on the board. I immediately copied it down.
'So, group, let's meet our visitors tonight. New friends, tell us a bit about you two!' Carol talked directly to
me and the entire group turned their heads at the same time.
Regina said 'I'm just here to give Jim moral support,' and everyone laughed. Thanks, Regina, for making me look completely lame.
'Hi, I'm Jim and this is the first time I've come to a writing group,' as I talked, everyone was smiling, including Kyle. When I saw him listening to me, I started to get a little self-conscious.
'I have been writing for years but I've never thought about trying to get published anywhere. So I'm going to try this route, first just to see if what I'm writing is interesting to anyone other than me.'
'Welcome, Jim! We'll look forward to hearing more about your work very soon! I hope you'll take Kyle's piece and come back next week!' Carol seemed very genuine and inclusive. 'And, to your friend, how nice of you to accompany Jim. It's sometimes hard to come in front of a group for the first time. You are a treasure,' and she smiled broadly.
After that, anyone in the group who wanted to talk had the chance to. Several people raised their hands and gave updates on their work that they've shared and one or two wanted to bring new drafts in to share. Everyone seemed to connect, even though overall the group was completely a hodgepodge of people from different walks of life.
The time came to start leaving and Regina said 'I gotta find a ladies room. I'll meet you at your car,' and she slipped out while Carol was wrapping things up.
Everyone got up to leave and as I walked out, I heard behind me, 'Jim?' I turned around and it was Kyle. Wow, I thought, and I immediately began to feel like I was shaking.
'Yeah - Kyle, right?' and I put out my hand. He shook my hand and kept looking in my eyes.
'Are you a bartender?' he asked.
'Yes, I am - have you seen me before?' He must have remembered me. Good sign!
'Yeah, I've been into that bar quite a few times. I think you've been working every time. I don't drink alcohol, though, so I haven't ordered from you,' and I was glad he said that, because I would have definitely remembered this beautiful creature and would have gone home with a hard on and fantasized about him after waiting on him.
We stood silent for a moment and Regina came up to me.
'Ready to go, Jim?' she sounded like she wanted to get out of there right away.
I looked at Kyle, then looked at her, then said, 'Um, yeah, okay,' and I looked back at Kyle.
'Jim, did you write down my email? Will you email me when you've read my stuff?' and I detected a slight twinkle in his eye.
'Yeah, for sure! Looking forward to reading it,' and I smiled at him, making him blush ever so slightly.
Regina was already walking towards the door.
'I hope so - maybe we could grab coffee or something and talk about it. I'm curious about what you're working on, too.' I was definitely shaking at that point. 'Absolutely!' and I hoped I didn't sound too enthusiastic.
We went home and Regina gave me shit the entire ride, teasing me that I was going to start going to writing groups just to meet men.
When we got in, we told our other roommate, Kate, about the evening.
'And Jim has a big cru-ush on a guy!' and they both squealed.
'Good night, ladies,' and I headed down the hall. As soon as I shut my door I grabbed my laptop and started composing an impulsive email to Kyle. Here's what I sent:
Thanks for sharing your writing, I'm really looking forward to checking it out. However, I thought I'd take a chance and send you an email before I've read it. Are you with anyone? If not, I really want to ask you out on a date. I'm probably being too forward and if I am, I'll fade into the woodwork. But I got a sense from you that you might have been somewhat interested, the way you approached me. So be gentle, please, and let me know. If your answer is yes, of which I'm appealing to the gods will be your answer, let's talk. If your answer is no, I won't bother you again...so....there you go.
Now I'm going to hide under the covers and cross my fingers that you'll say yes. It was great meeting you.
I hit 'send' and immediately regretted it. He's with someone, I thought. How could he not be? I surfed the web for a bit, looked at some porn sites, watched some You Tube, and about a half-hour later I heard my phone chime - it does that when emails are sent to me. I went back to my email and saw that I had a new one in my inbox. I said a prayer (I'm an atheist, go figure) and clicked on it. It was from him! Here's what he said:
Thanks for writing me so quickly! It was great meeting you, too, and I really do want you to read my stuff and comment on it. I haven't gotten any feedback from any of my gay friends - I think they are all chicken or worried they'll hurt my feelings. So please let me know. As to the real intent of your email - I'm flattered and I'm single. I thought you were pretty cute so I took a chance saying hi. I'd love to be your date. My cell # is below. Call me - I'm pretty much free this week.
Looking forward to hanging out...
I immediately shut my laptop and jerked off. Fuck! I wanted to call him at that very minute (after I came, of course) but I didn't want to seem over-anxious. Fuck it, and I grabbed my phone and laptop and got the number and dialed.
'Hello?' he said.
'Kyle?' I said.
'Is this Jim? Wow - I was wondering if you'd call by tomorrow and I hoped maybe sooner and here you are!' he was enthusiastic but not in a phony way.
'Yeah, it's me! I'm glad I have a chance to take you out - want to have dinner with me?'
'I'd love to - I'm free tomorrow night...or is that too soon? You probably are pretty busy..' he backed off a little,
I think. Maybe he was as anxious as me?
'That would be great...how about I meet you at the Dumpling Inn. Do you like Chinese?' I hoped that was a good suggestion.
'I love that place - that sounds great. Is seven okay?'
'Perfect! Now you've got my number in case...well, in case you....um, need it,' I almost said 'if you change your mind' but caught myself. Low self-esteem always plagues me when I'm trying to meet a guy.
'I will see you then - I'm really looking forward to it,' and he sounded like it.
We said goodbye and I began Googling him and Facebook searching and Twitter searching and I couldn't find him. I was sort of surprised, but maybe he's more private or doesn't like those sites. I stayed up until midnight, thinking all sorts of things: what should I wear, should I kiss him if he seems to like me, or should I just do it anyway, what if I ask him to come home with me, will that kill my chances with him? I hadn't gotten laid in about eight months since my last breakup with the high school teacher. I guess I wasn't serious enough for him and didn't want to take the next step of moving in with him. That was his ultimatum, I guess, so he dumped me 'for not being honest with my feelings' or some bullshit like that.
So I still haven't described myself. I'm 26 and obviously single. I am sort of short, 5'7' and have short blond hair, sort of spiky, sort of not. I have a few tattoos but I'm kind of modest about them. I go to the gym almost five times a week if I can, and I think I have a pretty good body - never any complaints from the teacher boyfriend. I don't have the biggest dick in the world, but I think I'm a pretty good lover, and again, no complaints from the teacher. I've got blue eyes, too, and my roommates say I'm a 'good catch.'
I finally got to sleep and spent the next day trying hard to write and then settled down to read Kyle's writing. I figured that I should read it and if it's awful...well, I'll lie and say I haven't read it, I guess.
I was pleasantly surprised that I really liked it - and not because I want to fuck him - I think he's got something. The story is about a single gay man who encounters a ghost on his night time walk with his dog. The ghost is of a generations back relative (need to fill in more here)
I got dressed and headed out for the big date. Regina said if it's bad, text her, and she'll call with an emergency to get me out of there. Cute. I decided to go with some ordinary chinos and a black shirt and these black shoes that Regina made me buy at Nordstrom's last month that make me, according to Regina, 'look more updated.'
I got to the Dumpling a bit early so I went across the street to check on my friend Raymond. He works in an Internet coffee shop kind of place that his partner owns. He was surprised to see me. When I told him I was meeting a new guy for dinner he insisted we take the front table so we could look out the window as he got there.
'No, I don't want to, but you can look,' and at that moment I saw him across the street, walking towards the restaurant.
'Gotta go,' and I left without saying goodbye.
'He looks cute from far away,' Raymond yelled after me.
I went up to the corner to cross like a good citizen and Kyle saw me and waved. I waved back. I met him in front of the restaurant and he was all smiles.
'Hi Jim, it's nice to see you,' and he gave me a sort of hug. He seemed nervous, which made me less nervous.
'Yeah, I was looking forward to it all day,' I said, realizing that it sounded like I have no life.
We went in together and I got us the best red vinyl booth in the back. We got some hot tea and sipped on that and stared at each other while sipping until he broke the ice.
'So, are you still bartending?' he said, grasping for a topic he knew I'd be able to talk about.
'Yes, but trying to get more hours waiting tables at a restaurant. I'm saving for an MFA writing program I really want to apply for next year,' and he smiled and nodded.
'What do you do to pay the rent?' I said and immediately regretted making it sound like he must be a drug dealer or prostitute or something.
'Well, I do graphic design stuff for a small design shop. I've been there two years now and I like it a lot. I have very cool bosses who let me set my own hours for the most part,' and he grabbed a menu. 'What is your Dumpling recommendation?' and he looked over the top of the menu at me with those cute glasses and big eyes, which
are brown, by the way.
'Their vegetable chow mein is fucking awesome,' and I put my hand to my mouth. 'Sorry, I swear too much. Sorry if that sounded...' and he interrupted me and said, 'Fuck no!' and we both laughed.
'I like the kung pao chicken but sometimes they go overboard and it's so spicy I can't even eat it when I get it home...I get takeout from here at least once a week,' he said.
So we continued, ordering those two things to share and some egg rolls and dared each other to try their legendary hot mustard, which has been rumored to have caused someone to be taken to the hospital because they passed out from hyper-ventilating and choking on their egg roll.
'Is that true, or bullshit?' he asked.
'I don't know, but it's a great story nevertheless!' We laughed and started to fill in some details about ourselves. He seemed pretty well-adjusted, not neurotic (unless that will be unveiled sometime later) and has been single for OVER TWO YEARS, which was quite astonishing. Of course, I didn't bite my tongue as I should have. 'How could you be single for so long? You are so fucking hot, first of all, and you're talented and have interesting things to say, and...' I tried to shut myself up.
'And?' he raised his eyebrows.
'Well,' I blushed, 'um, well, sitting across from you, you seem like, uh, you're a pretty sensual person, or am I wrong?' my palms were sweating and I was getting a hard on under the table, thinking about what he'd look like naked on my bed, with me fucking the life out of him on top of him, making him moan and finally coming so hard I get a face full of his cum. Then I snapped back into reality.
'You're sweet, Jim. I think you're pretty fucking hot, too, by the way,' and he grabbed one of my hands under the table. 'I'm also sort of a risk taker and like to go in head first, so after this dinner, I really want to kiss you and see if I can lure you back to my apartment three blocks from here,' and he raised his eyebrows while looking over the top of his glasses at me.
I was speechless for a brief second and then gulped out a 'yeah, I'd love that,' and I looked down for a moment, my face so hot that I'm sure I looked completely embarrassed.
'Good,' and he smiled. 'What do we have to lose? I'm sensing you're attracted to me. Let's get the chemistry experiment over with. Besides, I haven't gotten laid in so long and I'm getting really uncomfortable sitting across from you, thinking about it,' and he sort of sighed.
'Wow! And I thought I was kind of blunt when I want something!' and he looked red, tipping his head down a little coyly. 'I guess I'll admit now that I was hoping this would happen.'
He smiled at me and our food came, breaking the awkwardness and the bomb he set out right in front of me. We shared the two dishes and managed to get through the rest of the dinner talking about books, TV, movies, anything we could think of. Finally the check came and I grabbed it and said 'Come on,' and started walking to the front counter to pay. He got up right away and followed me.
We got outside and stood for a second. 'Do you still want to...' and I interrupted him, 'Lead the way,' and we started walking together, turning the corner and heading towards the residential area behind the block. I decided to make a first move and grabbed his hand and pulled him behind the building and roughly pulled him into me and started kissing him - he immediately put his hands on my face and kissing me back, both of us trying to get each other's tongues. He was a really passionate kisser and was really into it, barely coming up for air. I felt his arms move down and he grabbed my ass. I had been holding one of his hands and had my other hand around his waist until he broke away to make his next move. I moaned in his mouth and he pulled back and said 'I don't know what you like, but would you fuck me?' and I was startled at his methodical approach - don't beat around the bush, establish roles early on - and I said 'would I ever!' and he backed up and took my hand to start walking again.
He stopped me at two corners to kiss me again and I was so hard already I almost had trouble walking. (I know, exaggerating a little, but I was almost uncomfortable.) We reached his block and turned. He led me up to an old duplex, to which he had the upstairs apartment. We headed up the stairs and as soon as he had the door open he pulled on me, kicked the door shut with his boot and reached over to lock it, all while he was giving me a tonsillectomy and trying to grab at my crotch.
He backed off and led me back to his bed, giving me no time to give the apartment a look-see (not that I cared at that moment) and we kept kissing, this time he started unbuttoning my shirt without looking and I put my hands under his t-shirt and felt his slightly furry chest, which I love in guys, and he was moaning while kissing me. As he worked on the last button he broke away from my mouth and started biting and kissing my ears and my neck and only stopped so I could take off his shirt. We were all over each other, trying to get shoes off, trying to get at each other's nipples, trying to get hands down towards crotches, etc. We were both in furious mode, me needing to get my dick in that ass but trying desperately to slow down, him not discouraging me from trying to move him more in the center of the bed, all the while still kissing and biting and licking each other, fighting to take over.
He finally laid back and said 'Oh my god, I'm so fucking horny I can't stand it,' and he started taking his jeans off and I followed his lead and we were quickly down to underwear. I zeroed in on the nice bulge in his hot boxer-briefs that hugged his sexy thighs, squeezing him from the outside and he started moaning more audibly and putting his hands together above his head. I took that opportunity to dive into his right armpit. I started sucking on his hair and armpit and he was saying 'oh, yeah, that feels good, oh yeah,' and then I stopped and grabbed the waistband of his briefs and yanked them off, his cock bouncing right out at me. I paused to look at it and him, just for a nanosecond - cut, not huge but not small, just right for him, I thought, and I grabbed his substantial balls in my hand and squeezed them and started licking up the great stream of pre-cum dripping down on to his stomach and he was going a little mental, panting and saying 'oh, yeah, lick that up, I want you to taste me' and I swallowed that sweet stream and kissed him, still hanging on to his balls. Then I decided to deep-throat his cock all in one motion and I did. He gasped and his hips came up a little. I could feel his pubic hair just a little and I kept him at the back of my throat for as long as I could, still holding his balls and slightly sucking with my lips. At this point he was like 'FUCK!' and grabbed my hair and held me there while I did that.
He let go and I backed off and started sucking him, up and down, each time going as far in as I could. He continued to emit all kinds of swearing and sex words and panting, lifting his hips to try to fuck my mouth from his back. I pulled off and went at his balls, stroking his cock while I gave each of them special attention. He panted and moaned a bit louder and said 'Fuck, Jim, stop, I don't want to blow so soon,' and I broke away and looked at him and smiled.
'Holy shit! I can't believe how turned on you're making me. ' He sat up and pushed me from my side to my back and climbed on top of me, his head near my chest and he began biting my nipples pretty hard and pressing his cock against my leg, leaning on my engorged cock, patiently waiting in my boxers but getting a little restless. He tipped his head down to start kissing me and slithering backwards and his soft curly hair fell against my stomach and I got a chill and murmured 'your hair is so nice,' and he looked up and smiled and then yanked off my boxers and dove into my cock, giving me about the same treatment I gave him, taking me deep into his mouth and then licking me up and down while he squeezed the base of my cock. I was in heaven, so glad I made that first move last night and took a chance that he'd be interested, and groaned 'Your tongue, so good, lick it more, suck me,' and he kept going at it for a while. I began to feel like I was accelerating uphill towards that great explosion so I backed off and sat up.
'I want to get at that ass of yours,' I growled and he got up on his knees and I went behind him and gave him a good spank to which he was startled but said 'yeah, hit me some more like that,' and so I obeyed and gave him a good spanking. I would never do it so hard that I'd leave a mark but I think I did it hard enough for his liking. I stopped and grabbed his cheeks with my hands and kneaded them a bit and then parted them and dove into his ass with my tongue. That got me a really deep moan from deep inside his chest, his head tipping upwards to the ceiling. 'Jim, oh, god, fuck me, please, fuck me' and I kept rimming him until his voice started to get a bit higher at every beg.
He finally sat up and got off the bed and found some condoms in his dresser drawer. I had brought some but I was glad that he did that anyway - I think he need to stand for a moment. He threw one at me and smiled, this time blushing slightly.
He got back in position and I started rimming him just a little more, tongue-fucking him and then working my fingers inside him and he was ramping up again, moaning really deeply and saying 'please, fuck me, oh god, that feels so good.' I got the condom open, even though my hands were shaking and put it on and stroked myself with some saliva and I said 'Want me to fuck you? I don't think you asked me properly,' and was pretty pleased with myself for teasing him a little. 'Oh, please, Jim, I'm begging you now, I need your cock inside me, fuck,' and he was stroking his cock with his eyes shut tight. I got behind him and paused with my cock at his hole and teased him some more and he was practically growling like a wild pig (do they growl?) and I inched my way in, his hole so tight and delectable I had to pause and take a deep breath. Kyle, meanwhile, was muttering stuff under his breath, still stroking his cock.
I then pushed all the way in, Kyle emitting a loud 'God!' and I started slowly fucking him, trying hard to concentrate so I could get him to come first. 'More, more, fuck me harder,' he said through clenched teeth and so I did, nervous of fucking too hard but he kept egging me on until I was pounding into his ass, feeling everything all around my cock and getting up there to the point where I would have to get out unless I wanted to come right THEN and he all of a sudden said 'FUCK - I'm coming - keep fucking me - FUCK - SHIT' - and I could swear that I could slightly feel him twitching as he finished ejaculating and let out a good long breath.
I pulled out for a moment so he could recover.
'Man, Jim, that was the best fucking ever. My god, I'm still sort of out of my head,' and he collapsed on his back, his cock still hard and slightly twitching again. I went on top of him and kissed him sweetly and he held my head for a moment and said 'You are fucking amazing,' and I smiled and moved back to part his legs. He grabbed his legs under his knees and I entered him again, this time staring directly into his eyes while I fucked him. I could feel that my fun had plateaued and I would soon be coming and he said 'come on my chest,' which made me crazy. I pulled out, whipped off that condom and stroked myself, immediately coming all over his chest, stomach, a little on his jaw and his hair and said something intelligible. When I finished I collapsed on top of him, getting my cum all over my own chest and stomach and he put his arms around me and kissed my neck and we were both silent, me still sort of panting.
A minute or so later I rolled off him and said 'Wow. And that was a first date? Wow,' and he blushed and laughed. We both stayed in bed, him grabbing my right hand with his left.
'That was so fucking awesome and I think I left the planet when I came,' he said.
'I was definitely out there in the unknown, too. I loved looking at your gorgeous face when it happened,' leaning over on my elbow to give him a kiss.
Thoughts came racing into my head after that while we were both quiet. Was this a one-night thing? Was I staying over? Did I get the probationary boyfriend job? He must have been thinking about similar things.
'Can you stay over and sleep with me? And maybe even torture me with that cock another time later?' and he rubbed my stomach.
'I'd love to, do both, that is,' and smiled.
'I guess we got that out of the way pretty quickly, didn't we?' His eyes sparkled in the dim light.
'Do I go home tomorrow and never hear from you?' I figured, out with it, get it over with already.
'I don't know if I'll let you go home,' and he got up. 'Want a drink?' and I nodded. I watched his cute butt walk out of the bedroom and thought well, I guess that answers my question.
He came back and we both had some water and he put the blankets over us and spooned me.
'You are really something else,' he said. 'Good night,' and he kissed me one last time.
I laid there with my eyes open for a while as I felt his body growing more and more relaxed against me and I felt my eyes water up, and I was happy at that moment that I took a chance and hoped there would be some future here. I drifted off, thinking about his cock touching my back and how I couldn't wait to do more with it.