It was a grueling process; retrieving luggage and such. I only checked in one bag, yet the airline lost it. "This is definitely my day..." In all honesty, I was ready to jump back on that plane right then and there. Even so, the J's popped into my head, forcing me to trudge on into the abyss that was my inner conflict.
(I may end up writing about how the three of us became amazing friends and then why we went our separate ways, but that's another story.)
I decided to grab some breakfast. In all honesty, I wasn't hungry. My stomach was in knots. After nibbling on the biscuit I had bought, there was a tap on my shoulder. I froze and felt as though I was going to throw up. When I turned around, a security guard (that had been with me when I had asked the airline about my bag) handed me my bag nonchalantly.
"Umm, thank you sir."
"Don't thank me, you fucking queer."
Now, don't get me wrong... I am gay, but I wasn't that obvious. Anyone would have been as upset as I was if they had the expensive stuff that I had brought for this trip.
I was stunned. It had been a long time since I had been spoken harshly too. That's Texas for you I guess. Not a second after the guard said the word: queer... another voice registered in my head.... Justin.
When I turned around, Justin had the guard by the neck and faced towards me...
"Now now, Mr. Security Guard... is that anyway to talk to a paying customer? Not to mention a human being... just like you?"
The fear within the guard's eyes was evident. Hell, I was scared for him. It was then that I noticed that Jason was standing right in front of me.
"Justin, let him go, you're making a scene.", said Jason.
"Okay, but he's going to promise to not speak to people that way, right?", asked Justin.
"Y---yyy---eee---sss", stumbled the guard.
When Justin let the man go, I couldn't help but feel anger towards him. Not because I wasn't grateful for him standing up for me... but because I didn't need him doing favors for me. I could fight my own battles. Anyways, after that little scene, the reunion ensued.
"AJ! I'm so happy to see you!", yelled Jason.
"GET OFF OF ME."
I received many looks of confusion from the room but I didn't care.
"Let's just go", I suggested.
Justin followed me and Jason led the way to the car. Most of the trip to the hotel was spent in silence. When someone pisses me off, it takes awhile for me to cool off. When we arrived at the hotel, The Holiday Inn, I couldn't help but smile at the irony. Not only was this not a holiday but it wasn't turning out happy either.
When I stepped out of the car, I saw Jason with my backpack and Justin with my luggage. I can't explain it but something clicked in my head...
I grabbed my backpack and rollie from the J's and said, "Lead the way."
The stares that I received were piercing and full of hurt and confusion.
The whole ride up the the third floor was spent with me being quiet and the J's speaking over the elevator music. I feared what might happen when the door of the room closed and we were all in the room, alone with our thoughts. When the door closed me fears were confirmed.
After I placed my things on the floor, Justin came up from behind me and forcibly turned me around.
"I missed you, I fucking missed you. So did Jason. Why are you acting so cold towards us? What FUCKING gives?" Justin was inches away from my face and yelling, I couldn't help but slap him. It was the worst mistake of my life, to date.
Without much hesitation, Justin held me by my throat against the wall. I immediately began crying.
"JUSTIN, what the Hell? I thought we were over this??!!!", Jason inquired.
"What are you talking about?" I asked while trying to pry his hands from my throat.
"Jesus, AJ... after all this time... you still haven't figured it out???!!" Justin screamed.
"No, so tell me, asshole!" Even with my hurtful words, he let me go.
"I---we--- love you, goddammit." Justin whispered.
"What? Jason isn't gay and you're definitely not. So, tell me, how can you love me?"
"AJ, just sit and we can talk about all of this...okay?" requested Jason.
The next hour was such a surprise. JUSTIN told me everything. After I had left to California, he and Jason spent a lot of time together. After a while, one thing led to another and both of them ended up dating. How the both of them suppressed their feelings for men when we all hung out for so long was beyond me. All of a sudden the story telling stopped. Jason's face was cradling his face while Justin got up and looked out the window. One thing was still unaddressed though... how could THEY love me, if they were together?
"Guys, I don't quite understand... you two are together, right?"
"Yes, AJ, we're together.", answered Jason.
A moment passed while I tried to piece together everything that was being thrown at me.
"Then someone explain to me why Justin said that the both of you loved me? What relevance does it have for the both of you? Did he mean as friends? Because I already know that."
"AJ you're going to have to---"
"No, Jason, I need to do this. For my sanity", spoke Justin.
"Okay, let's hear it. Just blurt it out", I commanded.
"Alright, you asked for it. AJ, Jason and I are together and we love you. Not just as a friend. But as a boyfriend. I love him and you. And Jason loves me and you."
By the end of his little rant, my mouth had dropped open and I was in shock. I had just got okay with the idea of being gay, and now I had to come to terms with the idea of being a gay polygamist? Oh no. I needed time. I need to think. I needed a strong drink.
I ran. I ran out of the room and into the lobby. Once I realized I was being followed by the athletic monster that was Justin, I ran even farther. I figured that Jason was in the room. Once outside, I hid from him. They couldn't love me. It was impossible. Who could love me? A jerk, an ungrateful loser. Someone who can't even find a job.
I was definitely not someone who liked to share a man. Even so, the more I thought about the idea of the three of us being together, the more I liked the idea. Justin was the man that I always wanted, tall, strong, caring. Jason was also a man that I always wanted, handsome, loving and considerate. If the two of them were infused together, it'd be the perfect man.
Justin must have spent at least 15 minutes looking for me before I made myself know from the bush right by the front doors. I looked at him and told him that I was okay and that I wanted to say a few things to him and Jason before I said anything about what he had told me.
Once in the room I started.
"Look, this is crazy. You two seem to be perfect for each other. I mean you both have more in common than you do with me. Even if I did say yes, or whatever, to this... how will I know that you two just don't want me for sex? Or that you two just want to keep adding to our little group? Or that you two won't cheat on me? What will people say? I live in California now, what would I do when I have to go back?"
I had to catch my breath at the end of my little sh-peal. After calming down I looked at the J's, waiting for a response or answer.
What happened next shocked me.
Jason stood up and came over to me and kissed me deeply. Our tongues fought and passion drove the kiss. After what seemed like forever he pulled back. With his hands still caressing my face he began to speak.
"AJ, I promise you, that you and Justin are all I need to be happy. I love you."
I began to tear up. I hadn't expected this.
Justin walked towards me with Jason at my side. I stepped back, unable to forget what he had done to me just a short while ago. Justin slowly made his way towards me with a warm hand on my cheek...
At that moment, I didn't know it.. but my life would never be the same.
Finally, Justin met my lips with his. He was so much taller than me, he practically had to bend down for the kiss. Our tongues danced a wild tango and his hands started to freely roam my body. It wasn't until I opened my eyes that I noticed that Jason had his hands all over both me and Justin. Then, Jason began to join our kiss and a three way make out session began.
To this day I have no idea what gave me the courage to do what I did next. I backed away from the two of them and began to shed my clothes.
"I love you, Jason, Justin. Look, tonight has been amazing. And enlightening, how about we lay down and talk more in the morning?"
After the J's put both beds together, they stripped down to their briefs and looked at me in the most caring way.
"Well, are you gonna come to bed, or are we gonna have to drag you?", Jason asked.
"Yeah, I'm coming." By then all my nervousness had disappeared and I was overcome with love for my J's. I stripped down to my briefs and laid down in the middle of the bed. Soon, Jason had cuddled up to me facing towards me while Justin wrapped his huge arms around both Jason and I.
The last thing I remember is hearing Justin murmur something...
"Our perfect triangle, together at last..."