It was the perfect day. The sun was up in its full radiance. Birds were chirping their lovely songs, no doubt seeking after their potential mates. The wind blew a gentle and warming puff, elegantly swaying the curtains above my window. I opened my eyes, reaching out for my pillow to shield them from the agonizing light. I so desperately wanted to go back to my dreamland. But the day had begun, and my body was telling me I had enough sleep. On top of it all, my little member was poking through the bed sheets, groaning for much needed attention.

But I continued to lie in that bed, knowing full well I was burning daylight as the old folks would say. But the day was still young and plenty of time to get everything I needed to finished. So I just lied there, my mind conjuring up all the excuses not to get up. But my little member had stiffened further, growling that I had ignored him all this time.

Just as I resolved to reach my hand down there, my cell phone rang. “Why do I put it next to my bed?” I muttered. I retreated my hand and stretched for the phone. Only I was too late.

“Good riddance! Now I can go back to sleep.” But just as I rolled over, the annoying beeping began, informing me that I have a new voice message. In vexation, I picked up the phone and began to listen to my new message.

I didn’t recognize the number. Maybe, it was somebody from work calling me to go in, or somebody from school. Why do the automatic introductory recordings always seem so long? If only I knew where the fast forward button was…

Then, I heard his voice. I didn’t recognize it at first. God, it’s been so long. What was his name? He said he was in town for summer break and he wanted to hang out with me today if I were available, or anytime this week if that suited me better. He said he had his bicycle tuned up and asked if I still rode mine often. Of course, I still ride almost every day, and I do want to hang out with you, but who are you?

He never gave his name, only a phone number. I could call him anytime today.

I really want to hang out with you, but for the life of me, I cannot remember who you are. I recognize your voice well. Your name’s on the tip of my tongue. My pecker is throbbing intensely for attention…

Then, I remembered. His name is Jake—Jake Sulviran. The same age as me, only a couple months older. God, it’s been two years, at the least, since I’ve seen him. He was beautiful from his square head down to his pointy toes. When he took off his shirt, his torso screamed for attention. His muscles in his chest and abs bulged out of his flaccid skin. His nipples were of a tanned brown that complimented the path of dark, but thin, hair that went through his naval down below to the nether region. Jake had a smile that emitted ecstatic pleasure. His eyes were sweet blue. His nose curved in masculine sharpness. He had no facial hair then, always preferred the clean look. Even his hair was clipped short and neat.

I could not count how many times I jacked off thinking of him. I wanted to touch him, to really hold him, caressing his firm body, and cuddling next to him. But the only touch we shared was a brief hug or a handshake or a pat on the back or other nonchalant means. I was terribly afraid to tell Jake my deep secret. I never wanted to risk losing the friendship we had. I feared that once Jake knew my sexuality, we would forever be separated.

But as much as I tried to mask my true identity, I’m certain Jake must have suspected something. In the summer heat, I would stare at his macho beauty when he was looking away. At least a half dozen times he caught me in those stares as I sheepishly, but quickly, turned my eyes away. He never said anything about it—he was very kind—but I wondered about how much he knew.

Our friendship spanned most of our teenage years. We both attended the same middle and high schools. We always sat at the same lunch tables when our classes coincided. We would often hang out after school or on the weekends when possible, but Jake was a serious jock who played almost any school sport imaginable. Needless to say, his practices kept him busy.

Every year I looked forward to the day that school let out for summer, for then Jake would be free from all sports obligations and we could spend all of our time with each other. The month of June was full of bliss. Jake and I would grab our bicycles and ride for miles down our favorite trails. One such trail, called the Shelby River Greenway by the city, stretched out on a levy with a grand view of the Shelby River on one side. On the other side sat a thicket of tall trees. Sometimes we would stop midway and turn into the thicket following a short dirt trail that led to a great meadow. In the center was one solitary pine tree, its branches usually flush with green leaves providing a decent shade to rest in. Jake and I loved that spot. Sometimes we would lie in the grass and doze off for an hour undisturbed with our shirts off. Sometimes we would sit by the tree and listen to the melodies of the birds and sounds of cicadas when the sun fell.

But those summers were always short lived. Summer camp for football would begin, taking all Jake’s time away. I would sit at home most of those days depressed and fighting loneliness. My mother would try to provide company for me, but it was no use. I wanted Jake. I lusted after Jake. I wondered if he felt the same.

After high school graduation, Jake and I spent our last summer together. It was longer than the others, for Jake didn’t have the required football camp in July. But we hated August, for the thought of going off to college meant our impending separation. Jake received a full paid scholarship to a big sports university. I, on the other hand, went to a smaller, cheaper college to pursue more brain smarts. When the loathsome day came, we gave our goodbyes, exchanged phone numbers, and said we would keep in touch via Facebook.

The first year in college, I spent most of my free time checking his Facebook page. I was always looking at his uploaded pictures, trying desperately to catch a glimpse of his new life. In one picture, Jake held up high a football trophy; his team won the National Championship. I constantly kept an eye on his relationship status, but it never changed from single. I knew Jake was enjoying his new life; he didn’t want a girlfriend to slow him down.

We did stay in touch that first year, though it became sporadic as the school year progressed. Jake was immersed in his sports life. I was busy writing research papers and studying for exams. I would check his Facebook page less often, until I finally stopped altogether. Jake eventually became nothing more than a long lost memory.

Oh, how long did I lie in that bed reminiscing all that I thought had been forgotten forever?

I threw back my covers and leapt out of bed. I hurried to shut the window and then to get dressed. I panicked the entire time I was getting ready. All I had to do was make a simple phone call, but my heart beat madly, which only engorged my willy even more. How long was I fraught, I do not know. But somehow I managed to dial the number he gave. However, I pressed “cancel” instead of “send” realizing his number was listed in my “contacts” folder. So I looked up his name, and double-checked the number to make sure it was correct. I wasted so much needless energy.

Finally, I called. The tone inside the speaker rang once. Then twice. I was almost going to hang up until I heard his voice.

“Hello?”

“Hi, this is…it’s me…Alex.” My anxiety must have sped my heart rate up even more; my entire body was vibrating.

“Hey, long time no see! How you’re doing?” He was very patient.

“I’m…doing well. Just…uh, have a lot…of studying I still…have to do.”

“Well, hey, if you’re busy now, I could try catching up with you later.”

“No, no…it’s fine. That’s fine…I’ve been needing to get out for a while anyway.”

“Are you still at home living with your mother?”

“Yeah, I’m out for the summer—out of school, that is. What about you?”

“Same here. I decided to take a break this year, so I won’t be going out for football in the fall.” That was news to me.

“Why not?”

“It’s taking too much time out of my studying. All I ever did was play sports or homework. I’ve forgotten how to have a social life.”

“What about your scholarships?”

“I’ve got enough financial aid to cover me. I’m good on that. Hey, we got a lot of catching up to do. About how soon will you be ready?”

I’m ready at this very moment. “I can be ready in thirty minutes.”

“That’s good, ‘cause it’ll take me that long to get over there if I can just remember where you live.”

“Cool. Will be looking for you.”

I hung up and went down to my parents’ garage. My bike, a 21-speed hybrid, was leaning against a wall. I checked the tire pressure and the lube on my chain. Everything was in good working order; after all, I had just ridden it for several miles the day before.

I loaded my bike up into my truck. About that time, Jake showed up in a typical four-door low mileage car. His bike was hanging on a rack that had supports firmly held by the trunk lid. I was shocked when I glanced at his bike. It was the same bluish-green bike he rode when we were teenagers.

The driver side door opened and I was taken aghast. Jake stepped out, his torso more muscular than ever, but what surprised me most was how sexy his full beard made him.

“When did you grow that?” I clumsily asked.

“For a few months now. Thought I’d try something new.”

“It makes you look…looks good on you,” I said, catching myself.

“Makes me look like what? A few years older? That’s what I’m going for. Is this your bike?”

“Yeah.”

“It looks new. When did you get it?”

“Had it for about a year now. See you still got your old bike.”

“Yeah, I do. It’s been a long time since I’ve ridden it, though. Think it got a little rusty sitting in my basement. But it still rides great.”

“Cool. Where are we going?”

The plan was to drive our vehicles to the entrance of Shelby River Greenway. I suspected Jake was wanting to relive his childhood. I was excited, but not with the teenage giddiness I used to have. Somehow, I was more mature in my thinking; I figured this was a simple bike ride that would last for no more than two hours and we would just play catch up on past memories and our new lives. But I wasn’t prepared for what would transpire.

We pulled in to the parking lot and unhooked our bikes. As I was fitting my helmet, I noticed Jake had a lunch bag strapped over his shoulder. I didn’t think anything else about it. I figured I would eat when we returned to our vehicles.

“You ready?” I asked.

“Oh, yeah. Been a long time, so go slow for me.”

“You’ll be fine. Riding a bike is like riding a bike. Once you learn the first time, you’ll never forget how.” I smiled when I said this.

“We are riding bikes. You just repeated yourself.” We shared a laugh.

We started up the hill that began the entrance to the trail. We peddled past the first sharp bend to our left, then coasted steadily upwards on the levy. Jake actually was riding well. His balance was offset at first, but quickly stabilized within a couple miles. I was riding quite fast for Jake, though, so occasionally I would slow down so he could keep up.

The trail continued on for several miles. The river on the right side was gracefully flowing behind us. The wind was but still. It did help the exposed part of my forehead stay cool and dry.

After about forty minutes into the ride, Jake suddenly stopped. I didn’t notice this until he called out to me. “Alex, wait!” I looked back. Jake had already unsaddled and was standing on the edge of the forest. He motioned for me to come back.

Jake was standing at the entrance to the same dirt trail that curved through the forest towards the meadow. I’ve traveled that trail many times since Jake and I parted, revisiting our once sacred area. But the shrubs and other undergrowth had taken their toll on the trail, leaving only a faint line, barely visible even to the trained eye.

I could see Jake was eager to go down that way. “Let’s take a break. All right?”

“Sure.” Why not? Probably would never see my childhood friend again, so why not fancy his wish for a short while?

The meadow never did age, with the exception of taller grass and weeds. The pine tree was still standing perpetually in the same lonely center. Its branches were smothered in thick green leaves, providing a lofty room for shade. Jake led the way as we approached our shrine. It was the altar that compiled all our memories into one location. Here we never grew older and our friendship never departed. Here we were together again, with my attempting to covertly lust after him and his carefree relaxing.

Jake motioned me to follow him towards the tree. “Do you remember this place?”

“How could I forget?”

“You know why I love this place so much? Here I can connect with nature and be free. Here we escape from our lives. We can truly be ourselves here.”

“College has taught you well, I can tell.”

“What do you mean?”

“You sound like a poet. I never heard you speak like that before.”

“You never heard me say a lot of things.” As he said this, we sat down at the base of the trunk, Jake positioning himself much closer to me than what I recalled. I didn’t take heed because I was puzzling over his recent words. He said them as if in hesitation. What did he mean that I never heard him say a lot of things?

Jake spoke again: “You know, I’m glad we could do this. It’s thrilling to come here again. I miss this, this simplicity. I’m too busy with sports and school. I really considering taking a year off and settle down.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.”

“You probably do. No, I know you do. I can trust you. We’re old enough now, finally beyond childhood.” Jake lowered his voice. “I can ask you anything, can’t I?”

Was it what I thought he was going to ask? I knew I had to use very choice words here. I could again jeopardize our friendship. “Maybe.”

“Hey, no matter how you answer is not going to change anything. I’ll still be your friend. But if you don’t want me to ask, I won’t.”

My heart went pounding. For the first time in twenty years, I was confronted with the inescapable question. It had finally come; my secret will be exposed forever.

But Jake didn’t ask right away. Rather, I felt his hand gently grab my thigh just above my kneecap. He noticed I didn’t flinch. But he carefully moved his hand, anyway.

He continued: “Alex, I’ve been hiding something from you and I feel you need to know. I’m…I just found out this year that I’m gay.”

I tried to act stunned, but my acting skills were never superb enough for the Best Male Actor awards. “Are you sure?”

“I’m quite positive this is who I am.”

“Thought so.”

“Yeah, same here.” Jake said this with a strange chuckle. He then interjected to correct himself: “I mean, that you already knew.”

Jake was nervous. His entire body was shivering from fright. I was nervous, too, because I desperately wanted to come out and confess all my secret passions with him. It was that awkward nervousness we shared, that each one held the same secret but neither wanted to come out with it for fear that the other didn’t hold the same. So Jake came out first. I was soon to follow, if I could only get over the fear of rejection.

“Now what I wanted to ask you was this: Will this change our friendship?”

“Of course, not.” I blurted out, then slowly added, “I might be the same.”

“Alex, you don’t have to go confessing something you’re not just because I told you who I am. You’re the closest friend I’ve ever had. I wanted to tell you first because I can trust you.”

Ah, the rhythm of anxiety. I had to come out and tell the truth, just like he did.

“I really am gay.” There I said it. The first time ever to hear those words coming out of my mouth. It was the first time I ever told another human being that confidential matter within my very soul. “I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid you would stop coming around.”

“I always knew.”

“I figured.”

“Actually, it was because of you I learned who I am.”

“Yeah, right. How so?”

“You remember staring at me when I took my shirt off? Yeah, I saw you turn your eyes away. It turned me on to see another guy looking at me like you did.”

By then I was blushing and laughing all at the same time. The freedom to talk openly about these things. I was in bliss.

“Alex, can I ask you another question?”

“Might as well.”

“Are you seeing anybody?”

“No. You?”

“I saw this one guy, but only for a couple weeks. Nothing serious, though.”

“Did you fuck?”

“Not in the ass, no. I only gave him a blowjob. I’m saving the anal thing for when I’m in a serious relationship.”

“How did it taste?”

“It was interesting. I was more turned on by his groans than anything else.”

“You must’ve gave him some great head.”

“Must have. Tell you the truth, I dumped him.”

“Why?”

“I just wasn’t comfortable. Sure, he was a great guy and all. He has a wonderful outgoing personality. But we just didn’t click. Not like I do with you.”

We click? I should’ve known. Actually, I thought the same. If there were any guy in this whole world I could be with, it would be the one lying next to me under this shady tree.

“Honestly, I’m not ready right now. I’m still trying to understand myself.”

The great rare trait of understanding and sympathy Jake had. “I just want to continue being friends. I miss being with you. I miss all those times we had just you and me together. I never felt the same way anywhere else. Not with sports. Not at my college. Only when I am with you am I real. And I want to renew our friendship again. I almost forgot…”

Jake removed the lunch sack from his shoulders. He unzipped the lid, then brought out a wrapped sandwich. “I have a few peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in here. You want one?”

The sandwiches had gotten soggy, no doubt from the heat. But we laughed and ate anyway, enjoying the renewal that the meadow had brought. We talked on about our high school years, and all the stupid shit we did together. We talked about guys and what features we liked best. We talked about our different colleges and our future plans.

Sometime in the conversation, Jake settled for taking his shirt off. Only this time he alerted me before doing so. As he lifted his one-piece tee, I became stunned. His muscular body was defined with deep grooves that formed the parameters of his chest and abs. His thin path of hair was still clearly visible and sexy as I remembered.

I kept staring, not shying away as Jake watched me. He sported a big grin. My face must have bore the stark evidence of fascination because he kept on laughing.

“Okay, squirt. Now let me see what you have.”

I was embarrassed when I raised up my shirt. I was lean, but envious that my body was nowhere near as developed. Jake reached out to help me with my shirt as if I needed the help. After a while, Jake spoke. “You’re not bad. Not bad at all.”

“You’re just saying that.”

“I really mean it. I love variety. That’s the unique thing about us humans. Not one of us looks exactly like the other. I love that.”

I nodded my head in pretended agreement.

Jake and I were both shirtless and unabashed. We knew now who we were, and shamelessly enjoyed every minute of it. We were truly free, our droplets of sweat evaporating from our exposed flesh.

Jake lifted his feet and began taking off his shoes. “What are you doing?” I asked.

“I’m getting more comfortable.” He stood up, then to my surprise, undid his belt from the loops around his jeans. “Ah, that feels good. The belt was eating at my skin. Hey, look at this.”

I saw the striped indentions that wrapped around his hips. Jake invited me to explore his body, even suggesting I snug his jeans down a tad just to see more of the newly formed mark. My throbber was pulsating inside my own jeans. I had completely forgotten about him.

“I see you over there. Stiffy’s dying for attention, isn’t he?”

That statement caused me to blush. He was looking right at my nether region. Nobody else had seen there before.

He sat back down, then leaned in close to me. I could smell his breath against my face. “Alex, I’m not going to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. But will you let me touch you? You can say no and we’ll leave it like that.”

I didn’t say anything. I just nodded. But Jake pressed further: “If you’re not ready, say ‘No.’ I won’t do anything until you’re absolutely ready for it.”

I wanted him to feel me. I longed for another man to fondle me to completion. I was passionate and anxious in one mishmash of emotion. But Stiffy would not let me say no.

“Please. Go on.”

“Will you promise me that if you get too uncomfortable, you will tell me to stop? You must promise me.”

“I promise.”

That was all the clearance Jake needed. He undid my belt and the button, and slid his hand down my pants. I moaned slightly as the warmth of his hand groped over my sagging testicles. He gently tugged them in one direction and reversed. I was more vocal in my moaning now.

“I have to get a better handle. I need to free my hands. Will you let me pull your pants down just a little?”

I scanned around our secret meadow. There wasn’t another being anywhere to be seen.

“We’re hidden really well out here. Besides, nobody’s been here since we got here. But if you say ‘No,” I will end it right now.”

In response I started to pull down my jeans but Jake stopped me short. He took both his hands and clasped the sides, pulling them down slowly stopping just a few inches under my balls. A sudden fierce breeze blew across my exposed manhood, swaying my hard-on in rhythmic dances. Jake watched with a large grin.

“That’s a beautiful dick you have.”

I smiled in return.

He systematically worked one hand up and down my shaft while the other grappled and pulled at my swollen testicles. Ecstasy had taken over me as the sensuality flared throughout my entire beings. This was better than any masturbation I had experienced before.

Without any words, Jake bent his head over my now swollen dick. A slivery tongue began to lick my pelvis, sliding its warm, sticky self to the base, working itself up the rigid skin to the head, tickling the pink sensitive tissue that made me flinch from intensity. I felt that same tongue flicking at my piss slit, tossing it from side to side, causing me to shoot out a moan. I didn’t know what was happening to me. Never before had I felt such shivers running rampant through every limb of my body. But the shivers escalated to shocks of pleasure as Jake parted his lips to engulf my cock head into his slippery mouth. By now, I was screaming uncontrollably as his head was bobbing on his newfound lollipop, like a kid savoring the flavor with every lick.

I was desperately fighting the urge to cum; I didn’t want this intense feeling to stop, nor did I want to accidentally shoot in his mouth. Of all the places to release one’s load, not in his mouth! But it felt so good that I was oblivious to those telltale signs.

How did he know when to stop? The moment Jake let off, I immediately felt the crash of disappointment hit me square in the head. So close to orgasm. So close. Yet, Jake had other intentions, it seemed. Still lying with my back to the trunk of the tree, Jake knelt over my body, his pelvis just inches from my face. He grabbed my right hand and positioned it over the bulge within his jeans. Getting the hint that it was my turn to return the favor, I started to unzip his pants.

As the jeans loosened over his gorgeous briefs, my eyes reveled at the lumpy, damp curvature right in front of me. It was huge! It was the first time I had ever laid my eyes on this hunk piece of meat. The chamber it rested in was way small for such a large creature; the cotton material could only conform to the excessive shape being ill-equipped to conceal the treasure. I carefully placed my hand over his sweaty schlong, gently caressing it with my fingertips. I knew I would have to be careful. This was no small prize and extra care had to be taken. I lowered his briefs, releasing the pent up prisoner. I marveled as he suddenly stood straight out in full attention, thanking me for his release from captivity. He was hard and long and thick. His jiggling friends below were loose and hanging low. I cautiously wrapped my hand along his circumference, so lightly squeezing him. As a “thank you”, he squirted some of his pre-cum onto my hand.

My heart was pounding ferociously. This beautiful creature was before me and I had the honor to give him the attention he craved. I proceeded to stroke him, slowly at first, but as confidence grew, so did my pace and his hard-on. I can’t remember how long I fondled him, playing with his hanging sac, inspecting every square inch with my hand.

I was lost in the moment. At some point, Jake had placed his hands on the back of my head. He was pushing my head closer, another hint that I should take the next move. I barely opened my mouth, but Jake forced his dick between my lips. I parted them as wide as I could, trying to mimic Jake’s sensational moves. I could smell the aroma of his manly sweat and taste the salty drops that seeped through his skin. My taste buds were going mad trying to decipher this new flavor. I started bobbing my head down deep and was met with the urge to gag. I quickly flung my head back in reaction. A feeling of disappointment started to rise in me.

It must have shown in my face, for Jake looked at me with an approving smile. “Hey, you’re doing great there,” he added, “Just try to keep the teeth away. You were scraping me a little there.”

“Sorry.” I went back to my mesmerizing work. Up and down, up and down I went, speeding up only to question myself and slow down again. I know I wasn’t as good as Jake, but his low, slow moans told me I was doing something right. At times, I wiggled my tongue on his sensitive head, moistening every little piece of pink tissue. When I brushed my tongue on his piss slit, I paused. There was a new taste not like sweat, but was gooey and stringy like saliva but different somehow. My mind was buzzing trying to identify this new substance. I let my tongue swirl that slit around and around, absorbing every drop that came out. It was unique, and I was instantly falling in love.

Jack’s breathing became more erratic. I could feel inside my mouth the muscles that lay within his cock were tightening. I sensed his orgasm was approaching. Jack’s hands grabbed the back of my hair and pulled me closer towards him. Not too far in, but enough to tell me I was going to have to take his load.

Not once in all the years since I discovered my first jack-off have I ever tasted cum. I wanted to. I had seen plenty of pictures of guys who seem to enjoy it. But there was always a mental block that would remind me of its appalling nature. So, for many nights, the cum would slide down my fingers. I had tried to bring my hand to my mouth—“Just a little taste,” I would say to myself—but I never did.

There was no backing out with Jake. I picked up my pace, working his shaft, hoping he would ejaculate quickly and get it over with. His moans grew louder and higher, and his breathing quickened. Soon enough, I felt one spurt hit the roof of my mouth, then several more oozed onto my taste buds. I stopped sucking, letting his penis sit still. His cum mixed with my spit, and drool was uncontrollably seeping out.

“How is it?” Jake asked. I gazed my eyes in his, with his dick still poking inside my mouth. I moaned in approval.

His cock was beginning to return to its softer state. I recognized the sign that it was time to get dressed and leave before any wanderers spotted us. I held my head down, not in shame, but out of disappointment that this moment had to end. For the first time I was really close to another man—my best friend—and bonding with the static of sensuality moving through us. I was instantly in love with Jake. I loathed the setting sun, hating it for tearing us away for the night.

Jake must have sensed it as well. His smile was full of optimism. “We’ll see each other again, right?”

Right? I will make sure of it. You won’t leave me again. I desperately clung to his naked body, hoping against hope this blissful instant would never fade.

“Yeah, we’ll definitely see other again.” With those final words, Jake gently shrugged me off and got dressed. Within minutes we made our way back to the main trail towards our cars. We shared one final embrace, then drove off to our own places.

It was the perfect day. It was the day I told me how proud I am to be gay.

 

Jason Patreus

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