The Outcast

Holden sat alone during lunch, usually at the table nearest the teacher's, the only table he felt safe and knew some of the guys wouldn't attempt to mess with his food. Some days he brought his lunch and would find some place between the buildings to hide out of sight or if the coast was clear, lower the tailgate on his truck and eat his lunch in peace. He was a senior and it had been like this for far too long, his being ostracized by the others, especially the guys. It was this small community, a rural place in Southern Alabama, that allowed this situation to fester, to continue, the way gossip spread, the way everyone knew everyone else, bad and good, all made him feel trapped, like a caged animal, but he held on, sat in his room night after night studying, reading, planning, for graduation was the first step to his escape.

Holden had thought often of the events of that night long ago, the one that started it all, and he let the memory of it play over and over in his mind like a bad commercial, one with a stupid insipid jingle that got trapped in his mind, unable to move on beyond it, it coming to mind at the worst times imaginable. He had been at Charles' house, his best friend at the time, and they had fished in his family's pond, rode Charles' horse around their property and then after dinner crashed in his room listening to music and talking about their favorite bands, movies they got to go see, what was on television and sex. Naïve conversations they were, but Holden knew he felt different, wasn't attracted to the girls like the others and that night when they were laying on Charles' bed he had done it, that terrible deed that would get him ostracized. He had reached over and touched Charles.

At first Charles let him, just lay there watching his hand touch him, then grope him until suddenly he flew up in a rage, his face a mixture of fear and anger, and he had called Holden names, ugly vicious names and when he finally settled down he told Holden he had to sleep on the floor and he was to leave as soon as morning came. Thus it began, for Charles soon told the other boys, and quickly it got to everyone, including the teachers and eventually his parents. He denied the extent of what happened, convinced his parents Charles' misunderstood what happened, what his intentions had been, and through it all he found himself the target of bullying, his locker emptied onto the floor, nasty mean comments written across it and in his books, and he quickly saw how things were going to be for him and he took the isolation, made it part of who he was now; a loner.

There were a couple of the guys who would still speak to him when no one else was around and several of the girls in his class were nice to him but they refused to stand up to their boyfriends and really take up for Holden. It wasn't long even his teachers stopped trying to get others to partner up with him on class projects. Holden's parents knew it was different for him, that he didn't seem to have any real friends since the incident with Charles, but Holden never let them know how bad it truly was at school.

It was the middle of October, the leaves just beginning to turn brown and fall from the trees, the temperatures still warm but the dry air had a sense of fall when Parker arrived at the school, transferred from Montgomery, for his father's work with the agricultural department moved him to the nearby town's local office. He entered the second class of the day and came in and sat across from Holden, leaning over introducing himself, unaware of Holden being ostracized by the others.

"Hey, I'm Parker" he said leaning toward Holden, his wavy black hair hanging down long over his forehead concealing one eye, the other, bright blue, looking at Holden, waiting for him to respond.

"Ahhh...I'm Holden" he finally responded and he leaned closer to Parker so he could whisper. "You don't want to talk to me" and he nodded toward the class who were staring at them, a look Holden knew. The one that said they had to get the new guy aside and let him know the score; know to stay away from Holden. Parker looked around and casually, unassuming in tone, said hey to the rest of the class, telling them his name.

The teacher stood from her desk and welcomed Parker to the school and asked him what brought him to the community, for new students rarely transferred to the school. Holden listened with his eyes on the teacher, his body rigid, as the teacher began his lecture. When the bell rung and everyone was getting their books gathered together Charles came over to Parker and greeted him like a long lost friend and Holden saw from the corner of his eye how Charles pulled Parker aside, whispering in his ear. It took less than an hour for the new guy to know he was to ostracize Holden.

Holden did as he always did, went straight to his next class, carrying all his books in a backpack to avoid having to use his locker which had been constantly vandalized till he gave up on it. It was English, one of his favorites, one he excelled at and sitting in front as far away from Charles and the other guys as he could he waited for class to begin. He saw Parker come in with Charles and several of the others, talking and laughing as they went but when they started for the seats in back Parker broke away and sat across from Holden. He leaned over and in a low conspiratorial voice whispered to Holden: "Your friends are assholes, you know that right?" Holden had to stifle a laugh, caught off guard by what he said. He glanced out of the corner of his eye and saw Parker sitting casually in his seat, leaned back waiting on class to start.

The teacher began the class with discussing late 19th Century authors who paved the way for the modern era, authors of the 20th Century, and during the discussion the teacher called on Holden frequently, knowing he was one of the few who had done the reading needed to understand, but over and over Parker raised his hand, answering questions when given the opportunity and when the teacher brought up Henry James, discussing his life in England and his writings Parker raised his hand without prompting.

"Yes Parker?" the teacher asked.

"Henry James was gay, wasn't he?"

There was a moment of silence and Holden slid down in his seat further somehow sensing this was going to blow back on him. The teacher straightened up and moved toward Parker.

"I'm not sure about that, but it really has no bearing on today's discussion" dismissing the question.

When the bell rang ending the class Holden was ready, books in his backpack and he rushed out of the room afraid to run into anyone from the class, including Parker. He was relieved and disappointed at the same time when Parker didn't appear in his next class. When class was over Holden made his way to his old truck in the parking lot to retrieve his lunch which he ate on the tailgate away from everyone else. This new guy puzzled Holden, his flagrant attempt to bring the subject of a man's sexuality up in class and the way he brazenly blew off Charles and the others to sit next to him in English. Was Parker doing it to make waves, rebel against his father for bringing him to this place? Was he trying to stir up trouble? Or was he sympathetic to Holden's plight?

The remainder of the day Holden did not see Parker and he went through his classes as he usually did by sitting away from everyone else and keeping his head down. At the final bell he took his time getting his backpack put together for he wanted the parking lot to thin out with most of the others gone already. He ambled out of the building and made his way down the covered walk to its end and out into the parking lot where his truck sat. Parker was leaning against the front fender waiting.

'Goddamn it' thought Holden wondering if this was when Parker turned on him, joined the others in their bullying.

"Parker?" Holden asked as he came up to his truck, keys in hand.

"Hey Holden. Look I missed my bus; could you give me ride home?" Parker asked, smiling at Holden like a successful hunter, his prey in hand.

"Missed your bus?" Holden asked, his voice betraying his disbelief.

"Yeah, I just took too long to get out and then wasn't sure which one to take so I just came here to see if someone would give me a ride home" he replied, smiling.

"Okay, get in" Holden said as he unlocked his door and climbed in. He reached across the bench seat to the passenger door pulling up on the lock letting Parker get in.

After Parker told Holden where he lived they rode in silence for a while, Parker watching the scenery pass by as they drove down on one narrow two lane highway, then the next. Holden kept glancing over at Parker, looking at his body, about his own height, lean, almost skinny, with his black hair blowing around on his head from the open window, the truck's a/c not working. Holden looked at his arm lying over his left thigh, the smooth skin, the bracelets around his wrists, the way his long thin fingers curled into a loose fist. He tried to keep his eyes on the road, tried not to think about Parker, but he glanced over and Parker smiled back at him, his teeth not quite perfect, a couple slightly misaligned, his front teeth gapped slightly and Holden found it attractive. He noticed how Parker's face looked so smooth, not a hint of sideburns, only a little stubble at his chin and over his upper lip and his cheeks were rosy in their complexion and Holden ran off the road looking. He jerked the truck back, and the rough edge of the pavement jostled them as the truck came back into his lane.

"You should keep your eyes on the road" Parker said, his tone mischievous.

Holden's heart beat fast, felt like it was going to burst in his chest, the fright of running off the road, the way Parker was sitting next to him and he let his mind roam with the fantasy of Parker may like the same things he did, might like to be touched, have another guy do something with him, things the others made fun of, crude comments, hurtful, ignorant comments. He really didn't know how to picture it, him and another guy, doing things, for it frightened him as well as aroused him. Would he let a guy put his cock in their mouth? Would he? What about letting a guy fuck him and he squirmed in his seat, rocking the steering wheel back and forth to keep the truck straight as he wondered about it, the mechanics of it, the idea it would hurt, this penetration, but he wondered 'would it really?'

"It's the brick ranch just past that fish pond on the left" Parker stated breaking Holden out of his daydream, bringing him back to the moment. Holden saw it was the Johnson place, a house the family sold years ago and now it was being rented out by the new owners who had moved down to Pensacola or Mobile, Holden wasn't sure which. He saw a new Chevrolet sedan and a SUV in the garage and an old Jeep sitting in the drive.

"The Jeep is mine but the damn thing needs a head gasket and I don't have the money to pay a mechanic to do it" Parker said, sensing the question from Holden.

"Why don't you do it yourself?"

"I don't know the first thing about working on an engine" he said sniggering at the idea.

"I do" Holden admitted before he thought about what he was saying and Parker sat up and turned to him, his face suddenly serious.

"You do? Can you fix it?"

Holden looked at Parker and saw how he was so hopeful Holden could really do it, fix his Jeep.

"Yeah, I could do it."

"Hey, you got time to come in or do you have to go home and do farm boy chores or something?"

"No...I can come in."

Holden met Parker's parents who were in the kitchen preparing dinner, and then he followed Parker to his room. There were a few boxes still unpacked but the room was set up with his bed, desk and other furniture and the walls had a couple of band posters. A mirror hung on the wall next to the desk where Parker's laptop sat closed. Holden let his eyes roam around the room, take it all in, and when he came to the mirror he saw how he was framed in it perfectly with Parker standing behind him. He saw how Parker was slightly taller than he was but he was more filled out, his labors on his family's farm giving him some development although he still had a teen's lean build. His shaggy brown hair stuck out around his cap and he looked at the way he was dressed, a simple blue and white plaid shirt and jeans and he looked so ordinary. No, not ordinary; plain. Boring. He looked into the mirror at Parker who was looking over his shoulder and he saw how Parker's v-neck black pull over and his tight dark blue jeans and boots looked stylish, fashionable in a way he had never seen anyone in his high school dress.

"You know, Holden, you shouldn't let those assholes at school get to you the way you do" Parker whispered as he moved up closer.

"I know, but it's the whole...fucking school...and...I know I just have to endure their shit till graduation and then I'm outta here."

"Are you going to college?"

"Yes...already set up" and Holden looked at Parker's reflection.

"In the meantime...do you ever do anything...fun?" Parker asked.

"Fun?" Holden replied, saying the word as if it was the strangest thing in the world.

"Did you...have you ever done anything with a guy?" Parker asked and Holden couldn't believe he'd ask like that, just blurt it out, and he stared at their reflection and shook his head no.

"Would you...if the right guy came along?" Parker asked as he moved up close behind Holden, so close Holden could feel him bump into him, this hand lightly touch him on the back, and his warm breath hitting him on the neck. Holden just nodded again and he felt Parker come up behind him and arms around his stomach pulling him back against his chest. Parker kissed him on the neck, then he ran his hand up, took Holden by the chin, turned his head around and brought his lips to Holden's, pressing them together.

"Parker, would Holden like to stay for dinner?" Parker's mother called out as she knocked on the door and then opened it making them jump apart.

"Holden?" Parker questioned him, "Can you stay?" his voice sounding out of breath.

"I guess; I'd need to call my folks" and he took out his cell phone.

Holden drove home in a daze, his mind replaying the events of the evening, of Parker kissing him, then the interruption by his mother, sitting down to dinner with Parker's family and then the awkward time in the family room trying to focus on what was being said as he kept looking over at Parker, lying on the floor near his feet and looking up occasionally, winking slyly at him. He had to get home and did not get a chance to be alone with Parker again but on the way out Parker told him he'd see him at school and they made plans for him to come over Saturday morning and repair the Jeep.

That night he couldn't sleep for a long time, his mind playing the possibilities, fantasized about Parker and him, and he felt a mixture of happy anticipation and fear, fear he didn't know what to do, fear he wouldn't be good enough, and fear they'd get caught, everything people had been saying and he denying or ignoring would be revealed as the truth. It was such a small community and to be ostracized, treated like something damaged was bad enough, but for him to reveal himself to their prejudices, their bigotries was something he truly feared.

The remainder of the week went by without incident, with Parker brazenly hanging out with Holden, defying Charles, daring him to say something. Holden was surprised at how some of his classmates didn't ostracize Parker for hanging out with him. They actually came up and talked to him while he stood by Holden, but they still ignored Holden, their ingrained judgment holding fast.

Holden didn't let it bother him as he went through the days, his mood lifted with the anticipation of hanging out with Parker on Saturday. He gave Parker a list of parts he would need after researching the model year of his Jeep and its engine and told him it would take most of the day to do the work, but his Jeep would be easier than most vehicles.

Saturday started as a cool fall day but as the sun moved upward in the sky the temperatures rose with it. Parker's Jeep sat in the drive, hood up and Holden slid underneath it. He had the coolant drained out of the engine and radiator and was under the Jeep to drain the oil. The plug was tight, too tight, and he struggled a moment to get it to turn. When it broke free he quickly worked it loose, with an old dishpan under it to capture the oil, he let the engine drain. Parker sat by the Jeep talking to him while he worked, telling him of living in Montgomery, how his older sister was in college, and how he had dreaded the move, it his senior year. Holden listened, glad to be around someone his own age who would talk to him and he listened, responded when Parker asked for it. About mid-morning Parker's father came out and told Parker that he and his mother were going to Montgomery to see some friends and would be late getting back, telling Parker there was food in the refrigerator or Holden and he could go grab a burger in nearby Greenville.

As Parker's parents pulled away Holden realized they were really left alone and had the rest of the day to themselves. He glanced over to Parker who waved at his parents then turned to Holden giving him a wink.

"I think you need to get this head gasket on so we...can do something else" Parker said as he watched his parents drive down the road and disappear around a curve.

The work was slow, Holden meticulous, but by late afternoon he was putting fresh oil in the engine, then coolant in the radiator. Parker started the Jeep and as it idled, the engine running smoothly, Holden checked for leaks and listened to the engine run till he was satisfied everyone was good.

"Get in" Parker said; "I want to run down the road and see if there is anything else to check."

Holden climbed up in the passenger seat and watched as Parker put it in reverse and backed around and headed out on the road. He shifted smoothly, even with the long throws of the stiff transmission and they were soon motoring along the narrow two lane highway, the wind whipping in having a cool fall feel to it. Parker put his hand on Holden's leg and gave it a squeeze as he looked over at him.

"Thanks Holden."

The Jeep parked back in the drive Parker and Holden worked quickly to put the tools back in Holden's toolbox, pick up the old parts and other trash and get it put away. Holden went to his truck and pulled out a gym bag with a change of clothes, since they had planned on doing something afterwards, maybe a movie in Greenville. Inside Parker led Holden to his room where he told him to toss his gym bag and follow him. In the bathroom Parker got out a towel and told Holden he could shower first.

When Parker left the room he left the door open and Holden started to close it, but he stopped himself, thinking twice about it. He pulled his shirt off, then his jeans, and finally his boxers. He stood naked in front of the mirror, looking at his lean body, his skin fair with his neck and arms slightly darker toned than the rest of him. He looked at his cock hanging flaccid over his balls, the dark brown hair fanning out in a small pattern over it. He tried to think of himself as a man, for he was eighteen, but he kept seeing a boy, someone who rarely needed to shave, someone who's body wasn't filled out, still the lean and angular teen frame. He started to move to the tub to start the shower when Parker moved up behind him, his hair messed up, hanging down over his forehead concealing one eye and Holden saw his shoulders were bare, his own shirt removed.

"Can I shower with you?" Parker asked as he moved up behind Holden, pressed his body against him and Holden realized Parker was naked too as he felt his cock nestle into the crevice of his own ass. Parker wrapped his arms around Holden giving him a hug as he let his chin rest on Holden's shoulder.

"Yeah...I'd like that" Holden replied, his voice quivering with his fear, his anticipation and his excitement. Holden turned in Parker's arm and leaned back against the vanity as Parker moved against him, chest to chest, lips pressing to lips and cock pressing against cock. Holden ran his hands up Parker's sides and around his back as he hugged him close. Parker ground his cock into Holden's and soon the two of them grew erect, their cocks sliding upward, the shafts elongated and hard.

"I'll get the shower running" Parker whispered as he moved back and over to the tub.

The spray was warm as it cascaded down their bodies, Holden pushed under the shower and Parker running his hands over his chest. Parker leaned into the spray and kissed Holden as he ran his hands down over the flat stomach and gripped the hard cock angled up toward him. Holden ran his hands over Parker, felt the lean angular frame of his body, his long lean arms, his narrow torso, and has he moved his hands over the firm smooth skin he felt his ribcage, felt his shoulder blades shifting back and forth and he felt along his spine the round knob of each individual bone. He ran his hands downward and felt the firm round cheeks of Parker's ass and he held them tightly in his hands pulling Parker against his own body.

Parker pulled Holden back out of the spray, grabbed up the bar of soap and began to lather up his body, running his hands over him, pushing the suds over his skin lifting the grease and dirt up from it. He ran his hands over Holden's head, his fingers massaging his scalp as they combed through his hair. He kissed Holden as he reached down and soaped his cock, tugged on his balls and stroked his hand along the hard shaft and Holden moaned into his mouth, let Parker touch him, rub his hands over his body and when Parker pulled back and eased down in front of him, his soapy hands running down his legs he had to hold on the wall with one hand as he rested the other on Parker's shoulder. Parker washed his feet, getting Holden to raise one, and then the other and he ran his fingers over the toes, in between them till the soap dripped from them. Parker got Holden to turn around and he ran his hands up Holden's legs till he came to his ass and Parker soaped each cheek, ran his hand down into the crevice, touching Holden in a way that scared him...and excited him. Holden leaned forward opening himself to Parker and he felt fingers run up and down, center on his opening and after soaping it up push into him, penetrate his hole for the first time and he cried out as he pushed his ass back, sinking the finger as far as it would go.

Parker pulled his finger from Holden and eased him around where Holden's hard cock, drooling pre-cum down from the head, moved into his face and he stuck out his tongue and captured the pre-cum, rose up gathering it on his tongue till he came to Holden's cock and he sucked the head into his mouth. Holden moaned whorishly, as Parker took his cock, let it slide deep into his mouth. Back and forth the wet warm mouth moved over his cock, making it hard and slick. Parker stood up and leaned his back against the side wall and pulled Holden to him. They kissed, lips pressed tightly to lips, tongues dueling, and Parker wrapped his legs around Holden's waist and his arms around Holden's neck.

"I want you in me" Parker said into Holden's ear just before he rimmed it out with his tongue. He pulled himself up and Holden understood, knew what Parker wanted and he took him by the hips and raised him up in front of his own body, his hard cock suddenly free, bobbing up and down underneath Parker's ass. Holden pushed Parker against the wall, pinning him to it as he took his cock and moved it to Parker's hole, pressed against it and then he moved back and let Parker's body slide down penetrating his hole with his own weight. Down his body slid, his hole stretching open as it took Holden's hard cock. Holden pushed him back against the wall and began to work his hips as much as he could, back and forth, working his cock in Parker's tight hole. Parker held on, his legs still wrapped around Holden's narrow waist.

"Fuck me...fuck me Holden" Parker cried out and Holden swung him around, his cock still buried in his hole, where he had room to pull Parker up and let him drop back down, working Parker's hole on his cock. Holden fucked Parker, pumped his cock into him till his arms ached from holding him up and he had to bring him up, pull his cock out and let him back down.

Parker turned away from Holden, bent over spreading his ass open. He reached back and spread his cheeks as far apart as he could, and looked back around at Holden as he watched him get into position, his eyes glazed over, his cock so hard it flexed up and down. Holden moved to him, pushed his cock down and pressed the head to Parker's hole, and he pushed forward, firmly, all the way, sinking his cock back into him.

"Ooohhh" Parker cried out as he braced himself against the wall of the shower as Holden began to fuck, hard and fast, slamming his cock into his hole. Holden wanted to cum, needed to cum, and he fucked his hips, slapping them against Parker's ass, the two of them rocking back and forth, moaning and grunting, Parker obscenely begging Holden to fuck him, to fuck him hard. Holden soon felt his body tighten up, felt his cock swell up thicker, the head even more sensitive and he shoved into Parker hard and as deep as he could, blasting his cum into him.

Holden lay over Parker, his spent cock still buried in his hole, till the shower began to run cold. They quickly showered off and got out, still touching one another, Parker's cock so hard and erect it stood up at an angle and the head became wet as a bead of pre-cum formed in the slit and trickled down, and Holden was still hard, his desires not sated yet, and they soon ended up on the floor on the thick rug, both still dripping wet and Parker pushed Holden on his back, pulled his legs up to his chest and moved up to his ass, rubbing his wet slick cock over Holden's hole, pressing against it, testing its tightness, watching how Holden reacted to his probing.

"Put it in me" Holden said in a far away voice and Parker felt Holden's hands touch his thighs, softly, caressing up and down, and he bore down on Holden, breached his hole and sank the head of his cock into him. Holden cried out, pushed against this thighs and he held still, let Holden relax to the penetration, his hole loosen and then he eased his cock into him, all the way.

Parker's pace was slower, the way he thrust his cock into Holden, feeling each inch move through the tight ring of Holden's hole. In and out, he moved his cock, working it in Holden, feeling Holden's hole milk his cock, build up his need to cum and he slowly built up his pace, worked his hips faster till he was fucking Holden hard, slamming down into him, thrusting his cock all the way into his tight hole. He looked down on Holden, his arms thrown over his head, eyes closed, taking his fuck, Holden's body lean but muscular, his stomach crunched up tight with each muscle clearly defined, and he ran his hands down each leg braced against his chest, felt the soft light dusting of hair tickle his palm as he pumped his hips.

Parker let Holden's legs slip off his chest and wrap around his waist as he moved down on top of him, hugged his arms over Holden's shoulders and ground his cock into Holden's hole, working it deep into his hot velvety insides.

"Fuck, I'm going to cum" Parker cried out as he felt his cock explode in Holden, felt it pump out wad after wad of cum. He pumped his hips with each ejaculation, shoving his cock into Holden deeply until he was spent. He fell still on Holden, his breathing ragged and his cock still buried in Holden's hole. They lay there a long time, bodies intertwined together, both still wet, until Holden moved underneath Parker, took his face in his hands and brought their lips together. It was a quick kiss, simple; a caress of lips against lips.

"Thanks Parker" Holden said in a low quiet voice, meant only for the two of them.