The Mark Of The Beast - Chapter 2 (Revelation)

gaydemon > stories > demons and vampires > The Mark Of The Beast - Chapter 2 (Revelation)

Written by: Jake

Readers: 1079 people

Rating
6
(4 votes)
To rate story, move mouse over stars and click to vote!

Shiftin` GearsShiftin` GearsShiftin` Gears "Shiftin` Gears", now showing at GayDemon.TV!

I woke up again to the sound of my phone.It was the company,they were just checking up.It was once I switched off the phone that I remembered everything that had happened last night.It all seemed like a dream,but then I looked to my side and he was there.I just sat there absorbing everything when he woke up,'hey babe' he said'good mornin'.'Morning'I replied.We were both still naked.'Why do I have a bite mark on my neck??'Mark asked.'I dunno,sorry,don't really remember what happened last night'I lied,the truth was that I bit him to have his blood.But I was only lying to myself,pushing down my true identity,truth was that I was.......a vampire and that vampires weren't just in fairy tales they were real existing for over a thousand years,but so were werewolves,our enemies.We hunted the werewolves to near extinction for over six decades.My family,were the rulers of the vampires,we were changed by the very first vampire,who was once a human but bitten by a bat.Valdone Murdan,my Grandfather.I was 600 years old and I've been killing werewolves for as long as I remember avenging the death of my family,whom they savagely butchered right in front of me,but Markinous saved me before they could kill me...Markinous....the one person I loved,the one person I got close to.....but he was murdered betrayed by one of our own kind.

'looking at you like that is turning me on Ben'....'you read my mind'I said coming out of my thoughts.Unable to do otherwise I moved closer to him and our lips met,mine giving way to his tongue.The next thing I knew,we were doing it again,but it flashed by in a blur.'We better get to work if we wanna keep our jobs'Mark said as we got dressed.We spent most of the day researching for a place to start looking for the spider.We rented a jeep to take us to a jungle not too far away,we had to start somewhere.It was about 10 P.M when we reached to the edge of the rain forest.'Well,these iss ass farr as I go,my frends',our guide said looking at me in fear,suspecting what I was.'What,but we had a deal'I said trying to be surprised,I knew why he was running or at least I tought I knew.'Yees,my friend but de deal waas thet I geet u to de forest and thet I hev done'.We argued with him for about 15 minutes but he said that there was no way he was staying here when 'THEY'were gonna be out hunting.This worried me.But when I asked him all he said was that he and his people were forbidden to speak about the blood enemies.'BULLSHIT!!!'Mark said,he was now getting pissed off at the guide'look if you wanna go then go,but making stupid stories isn't gonna stop us,we're not kids!!'....'OHH NOOO!!it is too late!!....At that the guide ran off towards his jeep,unfortunately for us we didn't see what he saw,until it was too late,it lunged from one of the trees above onto the guide and sank it's razor sharp teeth into the guides neck and ripped his flesh then began to eat.I grabbed Marks hand,I must have used more power than necessary because I saw him wince and yelled,'RUNNN'.We ran straight into the forest hoping that it wouldn't follow,but what we learnt soon was that it wasn't alone.As we stared around,we could see about fifty yellow animal eyes staring at us,I knew at once what they were,one of them jumped out of the tree cover.

(TO BE CONTINUED)

Bookmark and Share:

About the Author

Name: Jake

E-mail: Not listed

Website: Not listed

Browse all stories by Jake »

Comments

the writer | 04 Mar 2010

umm,.,Tim.,.,tnx,.,4 d tips,.,oh,,,nd.,.wen ur having sex i don't think anyone pays attention to much.,,nd Dj,.,Ben was always a vampire,.,and like most vampires he 2 keeps d secret.

Tim | 17 Feb 2010

For starters, as the previous poster mentioned with atrocious spelling, you cannot wait until Part 2 to reveal that Ben is a vampire. Especially if they just had sex. Don't you think you'd notice if you shoved your tongue into someone's mouth and he had fangs? Or if he gave you a blowjob?

Now, since I assume you're going to continue the story, and you should, might I suggest a few writing resources? It's very hard, at least for me personally, to get off to a story that doesn't demonstrate a grasp of the mechanics of writing. www.fictionfactor.com is an awesome resource, you'll find plenty of articles there to strengthen your fiction. Also, go to www.write101.com/hints and use Ctrl+F to find the heading Some Points of Style. Read everything under there (except the sexism article, you don't need that) and your writing will improve tenfold, I'm sure. You have good ideas, but you can really make them sparkle with good writing.

Please continue to write and develop your craft.

sugarlipps | 17 Feb 2010

Love paranormal stories. Keep it coming

Add your own comment »

More comments »