There is a joke that I remember, and I thought about the events after this.
Two college guys decided to have a bet for 300 dollars.
The bet is about who will react towards the homosexual efforts of the others and say: “That’s too gay.”
Years later, one guy finally relents and said: “That’s too gay.” When they decided to adopt a child.
“Cool man, 300 bucks for me.” Josh cheer in glee. “…so what is 300 dollars in this time?”
“Well it is now 15 years, so...”Clement sulks while checking his smartphone, the usual lisping voice of his disappeared into a normal sounding voice “I’ll have to pay you 544.03 dollars.”
“Sweet! I can now have a trip to Europe with Stacey.”
“Yeah, but…she’s became an old hag, the money you earned weren’t that much for Europe and….we’re owned by Sir now.”
“Well, you are the one who’s married to Sir.”
“And you are the one who’s going to be owned by Tom.”
Despite all the sudden developments that’s going on, my confused mind started to function for a moment. Enough for me to reach for a paddle and slammed it as hard to the table, silencing both of them down.
It turns out better than the times where I spanked both of their bottoms. Both of them looked at my eyes, realizing that they basically talked about a something that is meant to be forbidden. An event that I never interfered before.
Steeling my nerves, I raised my voice: “I command you both to talk about the bet, what the fuck is this all about?”
They spoke, quickly like I trained them to.
The bet is like the joke said, and they became boyfriends in their college, amusing everybody including their girlfriends. But both of them turned out to be insanely determined, the bet that should be meant for a week at most becomes a never ending marathon, and even their girlfriends threatened& pleaded to stop the bet, they still never wavered, to the point where the original intention became lost in their conscious mind.
And then I came into the picture as a naïve chess piece in their game of bravado, someone who just came out and finding something in my life.
I met both of them in a gay club, showing off their bubble butts to anybody who is willing to slap silly. I took the courage and have a conversation with them and the rest is history.
Of friendship, lust, love, work, fight, emotions, tenderness, fitness, submission, marriage and much more.
Things that right now, suddenly fall apart.
“So…it is all a lie?”
It is the first sentence that I am able to mutter towards after all the information that I’m getting, lying in our bed, breathing harder and harder at the disbelief that I’m experiencing.
“Yeah, but…please…sorry Sir.”
“Let’s just go Clement. Sir…”
They quietly exited the room, which was smart of them. Because WHY THE FUCK YOU BOTH NEED TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS, AM I JUST A PAWNTO BOTH OF YOU, A BIG BLACK DICK THAT SATISFY YOUR WHITE PUSSY NEEDS, A MASTERTHAT SPANKS YOU TO A MONKEY?...
All the negative thoughts just flooded my head, tears flowing out of my eyes, and my hands starts sweating as much as the time I fisted Clement. DID HE LOVE ME, DID HE MARRY ME FOR LOVE? OR FOR THAT STUPIDBET!
And outside doesn’t seem to be that comforting either. I hear arguing noises from them. Usually I would have discipline them immediately. But right now I’m just tired to even breathe.
Another thought shocked through me, It’s from a speech about meditation. The speaker said things about deep breathe, deep breath, close your eyes…think about nothing
The next time I wake up at 10. But I’m still no less tired, and no less conflicted. The mirror reflected my mood when I muster the motivation to have a shower. It is definitely the worst night since 8 years ago, where Clement got damaged in the hand from evangelicals, requiring him to obtain surgery and a long period of me and Josh taking care of his mental needs.
Needs, I wonder if Clement is hurting right now. I took another deep breathe, and finally left the room to face the music.
The dining table has a bowl of oatmeal and slices of fruit,giving me a surge of anger as Josh usually cooks better for all of us. But today a bowl is just enough to satisfy my stomach. While eating, I noticed Clement peeking at me through the living room, his hand carrying a luggage. Before he had the time to react, I ordered him to kneel towards me.
Clement, fighting back tears, obeyed, and for the first time ever, Josh is not seen with him. From the time we met to now they were never seen without each other, they worked with me as entrepreneurs together, taking care of the house together, slept together and got trained together. So there is a sense of loneliness and unfamiliarity.
Seeing my reaction, Clement admitted to last night Josh and he had a huge fight after the bet is revealed. And then Josh left the house, back to Tom’s, Josh’s boyfriend and my uncle, who admitted to me in secret that he wanted to propose to Josh in the next month.
I didn’t know Tom would handle this, and I barely trying to handle mine.
And then I feel me feet licked, which stop my thoughts and focus on one thing.
Clement, using the best way for him to calm myself down.
“Stop Clement, is it too gay for you, or too humiliating for you? Tell me, honestly”
Clement stood still for a moment, and then looked at me eye-to-eye.
“No, Sir. It is not. It has been a pleasure serving and loving you.”
He said it in his voice, a voice that haven’t been heard to the others for years just for the bet.
“And, being with you, being your husband and your servant is one of the best decisions in my life. Because you are understanding of our needs and care about us, giving us all your trust and all your honesty for us. Please, I’m sorry, punish me for lying to you Sir.”
He cried, and I cried as well.
The first thing we did after this is reintroducing each other, taking care of each other and trying to recalibrate both of our identities to our house without Josh, as we got a phone call from Tom, where he and Josh went to Arizona.
Which translates into loneliness, as Josh is essentially a huge part of my life and while it turns out that Clement never really liked Josh, he admitted that Josh brings out the competitiveness within him, especially with the bet.
And both of us missed him. But a part of me felt that he would be gone forever, maybe to Portugal, like he sang to us, or maybe to Tom, if he really like Tom as I really like Clement.
While Clement and I had a huge soul searching together like our counsellor said. Which means meditation, more in depth talking and sometimes being alone, writing down a diary that we would read together, things that could be flexible with our work times.
Little by little, we allowed ourselves to be romantically involved again, like a couple should do. And the first thing that I do is spank him with my hand, the number are the days of recovering from the loss, and trying to get my hand back to a familiar place, his gaping hole that is now a size smaller, not good for slobbering a fist like me. But step by step, Clement big red ass is fine for now.
But still there is one question bothering me, why Clement felt repulsed by adopting a child, a year ago he was the most happiest when he’s piggybacking Josh sister child? Clement answer is a basic honestly policy, which now he is fine with us taking care of a child. But right now I digress, because I didn’t want to prepare an orphan from a life of loneliness to a life of instability.
And finally, I wanted a direct answer from Josh, the only contact that we got from him was a letter from Tom, who had his heart broken and see him fly to Portugal, presumably starting a new chapter in his life.
Which I only had to say good luck of Josh, with a mental note that he would be severely punished when we meet again.
But now it is the time for myself to stop, I have a date with Clement in my bed.