The 'New Order' was becoming increasingly difficult to live under. He found himself spending way too much time on his knees, alone, questioning his entire life. Thomas was only 45 years old, but had been at this job since he was 18. That is a long time in one job, though in all honesty, he felt like until a few years ago, that he had been doing a good job of it. He really did believe that he had honestly helped many people, had attended to their needs as best as he could, and frankly he didn't have many regrets in his life. Not bad for 27 years of faithful service.
Yet it was different now, as he sat in his room, wondering about all that had changed. He was restless, feeling the urges inside, which for 27 years he had managed rather well. Unlike some, he had avoided the temptation, had enough inner strength and conviction to be able to say 'no' when needed, to deny the needs that tortured his soul, every single day. Again, something he should be proud of, something his superiors should be as well.
Unfortunately, the 'New Order' wasn't interested in that one little bit. There was no compassion, no acceptance of what had been, and for the first time in 27 years of faithful service, he felt like he wasn't valued, wasn't really wanted. Sitting there, he knew that tonight would be one more of those nights. They were becoming more frequent, more intense.
The summer night was brilliant, as he looked out at the wonder of the twinkling stars. The huge orb that was the moon shone down, casting a pale glow over all he could see. He smiled, at God's handiwork, enjoying the peacefulness of the vision, wondering why someone could create such beauty, then also create man, as he was today. It was a question he seemed to be asking a lot lately, as he got ready for another night of restless sleep. It always was that way, as he turned on his nightstand light, to read a little before retiring.
Maybe this time it would help, as he tried to read the voluminous tome but his attention kept wandering. He kept glancing over at his magazine rack, and finally he couldn't ignore the need.
The selections weren't anything provocative. They were typical magazines one would find in any man's possession. There was the typical public affairs types, the sports issues, and even some lesser known types. No Victoria Secret, as that just wasn't his thing, though he knew many who shared a copy, though even they too had become less obvious under the 'New Order'.
He pulled out the Abercrombie & Fitch catalogue, flipping the pages to see all the new styles. It was just one of many catalogues that filled his magazine rack, and best of all, no one could object. They were all carefully selected, and when an issue arrived that was a bit risky, he simply would glance through it, lick his lips and then with great reluctance, toss it into the trash.
Thomas couldn't be certain, but he felt reasonably certain, that it all helped keep him above suspicion. Today, that was the by-word among his compatriots. Even the suspicion could lead to censor, or worse, removal. He wished to avoid that, at all costs, or so he believed. However, the longer this went on, the more objectionable he found it.
As he flipped through the pages, stopping now and then, thinking of the images he saw, he could feel the stirrings, the urges, gaining hold over his thoughts, his body. He felt the ache growing, and he reached down, slightly adjusting the sheet that lay over his body.
Thomas wasn't what you would call handsome. He was short in stature, had a bald head by choice, and admittedly was over weight. In all honesty, he didn't think he was that much over weight, though he did have a paunch. Maybe 20 pounds at most, and as much as he had tried over the years, it never seemed to lessen. Daily walks, and swims in the summer time hadn't helped reduce that extra baggage, but no one really minded. In some ways, he thought it helped his image, as being the friendly chap they could all come to with their daily problems.
He sighed, as he flipped a page and saw a familiar face. Blinking he saw the tall figure staring at him. Those deep blue eyes, that small curl around the lips, couldn't be anyone less than young William McTavish. The long blond hair was new, but he would have recognized that little smile, those eyes anywhere. It was indeed him as he devoured the sparse description under the photograph.
He leaned back, one hand at his groin, as he thought back to when he had first met William. It had to be not more than three years back, when William and his family had first moved to the neighbourhood. His father was in the Military, and the mother was what he would term, conflicted. She loved her husband, but she also loved men, period.
She also had way too much free time which is what had brought her to his doorstep. She was one of those who loved to help out, to take on chores, but rarely finished them. It was a constant annoyance, to have to keep on her but alas, that was his lot in life. Of course, it became less of an annoyance once he met her son, William.
He was 18, and uninterested in going to college, which is why she had brought him to see him. She insisted he talk sense into that thick head of William, insisting it was what her husband wanted too. Though he wondered if the Captain, as she referred to him, really was all that interested. He had seen a picture of the man, who seemed always off at some military operation. The Captain was dark haired, as was Mrs McTavish. Yet William was a natural blond, blue eyes. Thomas felt he knew why the Captain was always out, and you could see it in Williams eyes, that he too knew why his supposed father was never home.
Staring at the picture of the now 21 year old, he realized just how close he had come to breaking his vows. William was one of those young men, that you instantly wanted to please. He had that look, and the personality to go with the looks. He was brash, and yet also he drew you in, with his looks, his little smiles. It was as if you were sharing a secret with him, and yet you weren't.
His hand was wrapped around his dick, as he stared down at that face. That wonderful face that always seemed to dare one to know him, that seemed filled with laughter, but also had a tinge of mystery to it. There was always something about William that dared you to see beyond the perfect skin, the golden toned flesh.
Thomas had tried, and once or twice he thought he had managed to get past the walls William had erected around himself. He was nearly certain that William would have been a willing partner too, which no one else seemed to have picked up on. Least not so that they had commented.
His fingers were prodding his swollen balls as he continued to think back to those days when William was around. The tips of his fingers swirled around the cap of his cock, as if to tease him, just as maybe William had teased him that summer, three years ago. The way he had shown up, dressed neatly in his standard button shirt, long sleeves, and tight fitting jeans. He had come to ask Thomas if he could perhaps use the lake that was on the property.
Many of the local youths had availed themselves of that feature, one that had also led to some serious problems for many others. It was a rule now, no local children, irrespective of their ages, could use the lake, without at least two members watching. One to watch the youth, for safety sake, the other to make sure the watcher didn't take liberties, as his superior had put it. Many in the group had taken exception to the rule, so the local kids had lost out.
Not many were willing to be put under such restrictions, but William was different. In asking Thomas, he had done his homework too, as he had also asked another, who had agreed. Thomas knew Roger, the other who was to watch, and smiled. Roger was, if anything, a total robot. He rarely smiled, or spoke.
The swimming adventure however, had nearly ruined Thomas. Thinking back on it, he still was amazed at how much self control he had. Just thinking about that had awaken the beast inside, and had suddenly made the soft lump of flesh between his fingers, become rather enlarged, and pulsing.
He closed his eyes briefly, as his hand wrapped around the throbbing pole. Thomas could see William, standing just under the huge willow tree that spread out over the edge of the lake. It was a perfect spot to undress and enter the lake. It kept the sun from glaring, and the water there was always crystal clear. The underlining lake bed was small smooth pebbles.
Thomas had sat on the small bench, next to Roger, who was naturally reading another book, while he, Thomas, watched William disrobe. The way he took his time, slowly unbuttoning his shirt, almost like a ritual even. Thomas was familiar with rituals, but watching William slowly remove the shirt, to unveil his torso was amazing. He had such perfect skin, not pale nor overly tanned. A nice golden hue to it, added to his masculine look, and it was obvious that William knew it too. He flexed his arms, showing off his teen muscles, the slight bulge around the biceps, giving Thomas a bit of a thrill.
Naturally, it was when he took off his jeans, to reveal the tight fitting swimsuit, that had nearly given Thomas away. Even Roger had looked up, but fortunately hadn't noticed how quickly Thomas had clasped his hands over the sudden tenting of his clothes. Those firm cheeks, wrapped so tightly under the shimmering blue material had been unexpected. They looked so firm, so perfectly shaped that Thomas immediately had been aroused. The thought of running his hand across them, of his fingers digging between them, spreading them open had filled his thoughts instantly.
Just as then, he felt the urges inside. While he couldn't do anything then, he could now. His hand was slowly moving up and down his pole, stroking it gently but with increasing firmness. His memories were flooding back as he had sat on that quiet little bench, watching the young man wade into the water. He had waved at them both, even turned around to inquire if any of them would care to join him, a request both quickly refused. Strange at how quickly Roger had spoken up, and it had made Thomas stare at his compatriot a little harder.
Nonetheless, the vision of William that day had haunted him, and seeing him now only brought it all back to him. The way his eyes had widened when William had finally exited the water. The way he had stood up and shook his head, sending tiny rainbow colored drops every which way. The sun had captured each drop, adding its colors to the falling drops. It almost seemed to give William a halo effect, but it wasn't that which had drawn Thomas' eyes.
It was the amazing bulge of the front of the swim suit that made the most impact on Thomas. He couldn't believe any man, let alone an 18 year old, could have such a bulge there. The outline of something gigantic was clearly visible, even from that distance. Thomas knew that the young teenager was aroused. He had to be, in order to explain that hard long pole shaped object under the suit.
His hand was moving faster as his mind once more recalled that moment. It was as if it was once more happening, as he let his head fall back onto his pillow. His legs pushed out, and spread open a bit more, while his hand continued to choke the throbbing pole that was aching more and more with each passing thought.
It hadn't just been the obvious bulge, that had made him sweat that afternoon, nor now. The sheer thought of actually seeing such a thing, so clearly outlined in the wet swim gear, had made his eyes water. Wiping away the sweat he had looked up, to stare directly into William's face. It was as if a bolt of lightning had somehow hit him in the heart.
Thomas could feel the thundering thumping of that wondrous organ, that centre of life itself as it raced within his frame. For certain Roger would hear, he had thought but he couldn't even bear to turn away to check. The crystal clear blue eyes were twinkling, shooting sparks at him, like tiny little darts. Each one penetrating his heart like Cupid's Arrows. He felt his breathing growing a bit heavy, as he continued to mop his brow.
Just like now, as he felt the tingling inside, the urges growing desperate as his hand pulled at his throbbing cock, he had felt it then. He had almost reached for what he now held firmly in his hand, but he had stopped, remembering Roger next to him, and the eyes, seeing his hesitation suddenly turned away. It had made him tremble, and he had know the power of that young man then, as his body had released its seed, then, just as it was now doing the same thing.
He shuddered as the milk came flooding out, his seed spilling out between his clenched fingers, bubbling through and down his shaft. The trembles of his body were tremendous, making his tiny bed shake along with his body. He let out a muffled cry, biting his lower lip as he felt the final spasm of his release. His panting breath seemed to bounce off the lone gray cement walls of his room, and his eye wandered, slowly focusing on the room's contents.
The last dribble of his seed, oozed out, and he let his hands fall to his side. His body was bathed in sweat, as all he could see before his eyes, was that lone tall figure, dressed almost as God had intended in the beginning, with only a tiny piece of man's interference being worn. He could still see the bulge, knowing that if Roger had not been there he might know more than he should, about William.
Thomas reached for a small rag at his side, and wiped his groin. His hands would need to be washed, as they were sticky from his exercise, and he sighed, realizing that the ache hadn't fully left him, despite the explosion of his release. He closed the magazine, with great reluctance, wondering how things would have progressed if Roger hadn't been there with him at the lake. It was a question he had asked many times since then, would again he thought as there was a loud knocking at his door.
He called out, asking who it was, what they wanted, as the voice replied.
'It is me, Jose, Father Tom, you are needed in the Chapel'