[It seems only fair that Matt should continue his account of our adventures with Leo and Brad. After all, it was to be Matt who was the most deeply impacted by our joint exploits.]

The wonderful thing about a foursome is that - at any given time - there will be at least one of you with a hard-on and a determination to use it ... and at least another one of you happy to be used.

Shortly after Andrew's massive cock had blown deep inside Brad's ass, Leo expressed a desire to have "sloppy seconds" and plunge his own thick cock into Brad's cum-filled rectum. He said he wanted to enjoy the feeling of fucking in someone else's juices.

Earlier on, Brad had been apprehensive about having Andrew inside him. Much as he'd wanted to be fucked by a whopper, he feared the pain it might cause. Having survived that experience - even enjoying it towards the end - he was definitely up for another session. And, though reasonably thick, Leo's dick - at around eight inches - is almost three inches shorter than Andrew's.

There was no need for lubricant. There was a sizable load of cum already inside Brad's ass and some of it was slowly oozing its way downwards.

Leo put Brad on his back and hoisted his legs up in the air. There was no preliminary teasing with the head of his dick. He immediately thrust forward until he was encased to the hilt.

Andrew and I watched as Brad's face betrayed a momentary grimace before settling into a mask of carnal pleasure. Leo was obviously happy too. Although Leo was plunging wildly - almost viciously - inside his lover, there was no suggestion of anger or malice.

It was like some exuberant celebration. Both men were savouring the decadence of using another man's semen as a lubricant.

"Oh, babe" Leo grunted. "I can feel Andrew's cum all around me. This is heaven."

And we could hear Andrew's cum too. Each time Leo pulled outwards and then thrust inwards again, there were the unmistakable squelching sounds of some thick, viscous fluid being momentarily dislodged and then prodded back again.

Brad was vocalising his wholehearted enjoyment. His sighs and moans were just as exciting as the sight of Leo's cock flashing in and out of sight as he pounded away relentlessly.

Meanwhile, Andrew's hand had found my asshole and he was sliding a finger in and out of me, dabbling in the cum left there from Leo's earlier attack upon my own innards.

For my part, I had a firm grasp on Andrew's huge dick, jerking it rhythmically and occasionally using my thumb to spread the oozing precum all over his glans.

Leo is usually a stayer. Earlier - when fucking me - he had taken his time and treated me to an exhilarating and lengthy ride. Now, however, he was undoubtedly deriving extra stimulus from the knowledge that his cock was churning Andrew's cum into butter.

A guttural roaring sound told us that Leo's moment had arrived. He heaved and shook and grunted as each spurt jetted out of him. Brad was no less vocal. His sighs of contentment became a highly erotic wail as a flailing hand drove his own dick to release a torrent of jizz all over his torso and face.

Both men then collapsed, utterly spent while Andrew and I applauded their performance.

It had already been late evening when our first group encounter began. It was around 1am when Andrew suggested we take a break.

'Guys' he said. 'How about we take a quick shower and grab a drink or two? With all this jizz shooting out of us, we're in danger of getting dehydrated!'

'Not to mention getting a bit funky' added Brad. 'I must smell like a sweat and cum cocktail.'

So we scattered to the bathrooms to wash away the stains and smells we'd acquired thus far. And then - all naked, pink and pleasantly fragrant - we gathered in the living room for a few drinks. Leo chose beer. The rest of us settled for a dry white wine.

'If we took a vote right now' said Leo, 'then I'd be putting my hand up to say yes to us as a regular foursome. That was mind-blowing.'

'I agree' Brad declared. 'I was nervous - even a bit worried - but that soon went away and it was like swimming in a sea of sensation.'

'Even just watching is exciting.' I chimed in. 'I hope it doesn't sound sadistic, Brad, but I loved watching close up while Andrew and Leo fucked you.'

'And I survived' Brad said, smiling proudly.

'You were magnificent' Andrew told him. 'Exquisitely tight and utterly magnificent.'

Andrew winked at me as he said this. He was assuring me of two things; that he was trying to bolster Brad's self-confidence; and that he still loved fucking me the best.

'I can understand why Andrew hates it being mentioned' said Leo. 'But I have to admit I was blown away by the sight of so much meat disappearing up Brad's ass. And I was hypnotised by the sight of those massive balls swinging back and forth.'

'It's OK to mention it' Andrew replied. 'I'm only paranoid when people use my junk to define me. You guys are here because we're friends and not because you want to inspect the freak. To be honest, it turns me on big time when a guy takes all I can give. And it turns me on to think the head of my dick is in territory that is rarely explored.'

'That's a good attitude' Leo commented. 'And you're right. Brad and I value you for who you are. Your junk is just a bonus.'

'A bonus for some and a damned nuisance for me' groaned Andrew. 'A big dick is one thing - I can cope with that - but a big sac is hard to manage sometimes. As Matt can attest, it's so easy to squash my balls when crossing my legs or simply sitting down carelessly.'

I guess those comments caused all of us to focus on Andrew's junk. Our eyes were rewarded by an awesome sight. He was in an armchair with his legs wide apart. His sac rested on the cushioned seat and two giant orbs were easily discernible beneath the soft skin of his scrotum.

And - lying to one side - was Andrew's enormous cock. It is easily seven or eight inches long when flaccid, and his foreskin was only barely covering the glans. I was proud to know that it belongs to me. Almost as proud as I am to know that all of Andrew belongs to me.

'If you guys keep on gawping at it, something's going to happen' Andrew said.

So, of course, we all deliberately kept on staring. It was good-humoured stuff and Andrew went along with it. We watched as his dick began to lengthen and thicken. He didn't touch it. He didn't seem to move a muscle. But it continued to grow before our eyes.

The foreskin began to retract as the shaft grew longer. His cock moved upwards until it eventually stood fully erect and parallel to his abdomen. The head nudged at his navel, nodding gently. The base of his shaft - nestled in tufts of blond hair - was like a mighty oak in a field of soft grass.

His sac continued to rest on the cushion below, and it was possible to discern the movement of his testicles as they churned within their silken purse.

I could stare no longer. Almost on auto-pilot, I moved to kneel at his feet. I first captured his left testicle, sucking it fully into my mouth. He groaned and ran a hand through my hair. I repeated the procedure with the other testicle before moving upwards to attend to the precum appearing at his glans.

It was as sweet as ever. I savoured its taste before moving to swallow his cock entirely. My jaws opened as wide as possible and I relaxed my throat to enable his dick to slide deep inside me.

After a few minutes, Andrew gently nudged my head away from him.

'We're being rude, Matt. Our guests should be involved too.'

He stood up and we all gathered around him. We took turns sucking on his cock. We also took turns slurping on his balls. It is an incredibly intimate feeling to take over a dick or a testicle already slick with another guy's saliva.

At some stage, Leo got to his feet and he and Andrew engaged in a passionate kiss. Andrew slowly jerked Leo's cock and caressed Leo's not insignificant ball-sac.

'I've got an idea' I said. 'Something I'd love to do just once before I die.'

The others all paused to listen.

'I'd like both Andrew and Leo to fuck me at the same time. A DP. A double penetration.'

'Are you sure?' my lover asked. 'Are you really feeling that brave, Matt? It's been a great night but I'd hate you to get carried away by the heat of the moment.'

He and I had discussed this a few times previously, usually after watching a porno where two cocks occupied the one tight ass. Andrew knew that I was intrigued by the notion, even though I was also concerned that it might hurt a great deal.

'I'm feeling brave' I volunteered after just a moment's thought.

Both Leo and Brad were excited by the idea and, soon afterwards, we were all back in the bedroom once more. My ass was well and truly lubed up before the DP commenced. Both Leo's and Andrew's dicks were also slathered with goo.

With Brad watching closely, Andrew lay with his back on the bed, his butt resting right on the edge, his balls spilling downwards and his feet planted firmly on the floor. Facing him, with my knees either side of his torso, I squatted slowly downwards until I was fully impaled.

His cock felt as enormous as it always does, but it was a familiar fullness that I had come to love. I wasn't so sure that I'd be so welcoming of an even greater fullness but I was excited enough to keep going.

Leo positioned himself between Andrew's legs, kneeling on two large cushions he'd placed on the floor. That way, he was elevated to a point where his dick was level with my asshole.

'Are you OK Matt?' asked Leo.

'As ready as I'll ever be' I replied. 'Just take it easy, please.'

It took several attempts before Leo finally forced the head of his cock inside me. Each time he made a little headway, he was forced out again. I felt it each time my sphincter made contact with the ridge of his glans, the corona. It was not a painful experience - just uncomfortable.

Leo was not easily discouraged. He stayed hard and kept persevering. Finally, my muscles admitted defeat and allowed him to glide part-way inside me. Again, there was no pain - just discomfort; a growing conviction that my poor asshole might burst.

Andrew had stayed still all this time. He told me later that it was incredibly arousing to feel the underside of another guy's shaft against his own. However aroused Andrew was, Leo was still having difficulty in penetrating me fully. Each time his cock buckled, he pushed it downwards and forced it to stay inside me.

Eventually, with sweat streaming down his forehead, Leo made his way several inches inside my ass. He could bullock his way no further.

I reached behind me and groped at both men. Neither dick was buried to the hilt but not much of their shafts remained exposed. I figured that Andrew had about nine inches inside me and Leo about six.

It's an incredible rush to know your ass is playing host to some fifteen inches of hard guy-meat.

The time had come for Leo to fuck me. He could not move rapidly. Nor could he make full gliding motions. Both he and I were aware that moving too fast or too far backwards would cause my ass muscles to automatically expel him. So it was a fuck within a very narrow range of movement.

My discomfort increased with just one of the cocks moving. It was the inconsistency that caused difficulty. Each time Leo withdrew a little, the walls of my rectum automatically closed inwards. Each time he pushed forward, they protested at being pushed aside once more.

This was solved when Andrew managed a downward move of his hips and buttocks. He deliberately moved in opposition to Leo. Andrew's upward pushes coincided with Leo's backward movements. It was glorious.

'Oh, my God' breathed Leo. 'The underside of my shaft is being massaged by Andrew's cock and my knob is being massaged by your ass.'

'Same here' said Andrew. 'I can feel your cock sliding against mine. It's like there's a hand in there massaging me.'

Brad was watching all this in wide-eyed fascination.

'How about you, Matt?' he asked. 'How does it feel?'

'Words fail me' I gasped. 'It's amazing. I wish I was able to see what I'm feeling.'

Brad left the room for a few minutes and returned with his camera.

'I could take a few shots if you guys like.'

We all said yes. So my ass and the two dicks using it were bathed in flashlights and captured for posterity.

Eventually, the pleasure I was experiencing became tinged with almost more discomfort than I could bear.

'Leo, Andrew' I murmured. 'I'm not sure I can take too much more.'

Fortunately, Leo was already trembling on the brink. He'd been trying to hold back his ejaculation. Once I spoke, he moved just a fraction more urgently. Andrew kept pace with him, mirroring each movement.

Suddenly, Leo gasped loudly. I felt his cock twitching and shuddering inside me. Andrew felt it too and held himself still. Leo's cum gushed into me. Some of it came straight out again and landed on Andrew's balls but I could still feel the moisture inside me - it was suddenly warmer in there.

Once his dick had ceased pumping its load, Leo withdrew; very slowly and very gently. If my ass could speak, I know it would have sighed in relief when Leo's cock had finally withdrawn fully. I felt a grateful sphincter clasp down around Andrew's shaft. And then, bringing a stream of cum with it, Andrew's dick was withdrawn too. I suddenly felt incredibly empty.

I was not empty for long. Andrew moved me to face the mattress on my hands and knees; ready to be fucked doggy-style. I thought he was going to plunge himself into me, but he spoke to Brad first.

'You look fit to burst, Brad. Would you like to pump a load into Matt before I do? You'd like that Matt, wouldn't you?'

And Andrew was correct. After a double beef whopper, I was in the mood for something smaller to go inside me. Not that Brad's cock is tiny. It's a good seven inches. More than enough to make an impression, but not so big that I would be unduly stretched.

Although he prefers bottoming, Brad knows how to top a guy too. His dick slipped into me with ease. My ass was already super-slick from what remained of Leo's load.

At first, Brad was content to move slowly. I felt every inch as he moved back and forth between full penetration and near withdrawal. His cock was a smooth and soothing presence in my gut.

Eventually, he began to move faster and I pushed back eagerly, seeking to draw him into me as far as possible.

When Brad's breathing grew ragged, I pushed back against him even harder. He warned that he was close and then commenced a frantic bucking and pounding assault on my ass. He moved so rapidly that his hips must have been a blur.

At the end - as his jizz burst forth inside me - he violently thrust forward, burying his dick to the hilt. I felt him shudder with each spasm and I could feel his cock twitching too. I reached behind to cup his balls but they were gone - drawn high into his groin.

As he collapsed on me, breathing heavily, Brad expressed his delight at having filled me with his cum. I was happy too. I felt as though this were some kind of baptism. My ass now contained the juices of both Leo and Brad. All that was needed now was a contribution from Andrew.

Once that came, I would be carrying the essence of all three men. I viewed that as a supreme tribute to the joys of engaging with another couple.

Before Andrew took Brad's place between my legs, Leo scooted off to retrieve a video camera from one of his travel bags.

'Are you guys OK with being filmed?' he asked. 'It'll be something we can watch later.'

Both Andrew and I agreed.

'It's the closest we'll ever get to being porn stars' I said.

And then, with Brad looking on and Leo peering at us through a lens, the head of Andrew's massive dick was nudging at my tender asshole. Tender at the entrance, but - deep inside - still yearning for more cock; more cum.

I asked Andrew to fuck me as roughly as possible. I don't think my sphincter could have handled any teasing preliminary jabs. I wanted to be filled swiftly and brutally.

Andrew obliged. Grasping my hips firmly, he plunged straight in until his balls hit mine. It took my breath away. It was vicious. It was violent. And it satisfied every fibre of my being.

For some reason, I wanted it to feel like a rape might feel. Knowing we were being filmed may have been the reason. I wanted us to produce a performance that might inspire us in the future.

Even before this fuck ended, I was already envisaging Andrew and me watching it in replay for years to come.

Time is suspended when someone's dick is hammering away at your ass. It could have lasted hours or it could have lasted just a few moments; I would not have known the difference.

My entire focus was on sensation; the glorious feeling of being filled with an enormous weapon; the fleeting seconds when it retreats, and then the shuddering impact of its return. I wouldn't have traded places with anyone in the entire world.

In fact, for whatever time it took, the entire world dwindled to encompass just my asshole and Andrew's rampaging cock. Nothing else mattered. Nothing else existed.

For the record, when we finally watched it on video, I timed that amazing fuck at twenty-six minutes from beginning to end. That seems a long time but, as I said earlier, time ceases to have any meaning when you're in ecstasy.

To some it might seem boring to watch a huge thick dick endlessly whistling in and out of someone's ass. There was no great variety in that particular fuck. The video is mostly just repeated views of a lunging cock and the sounds of a weighty ball sac slapping against flesh.

But it's not boring if you actually participated; it's a chance to re-live a splendid experience over and over again. I get horny just writing about it.

Anyway, Andrew and I finally arrived at the finishing line together. His last few thrusts were strong enough to move me across the bed. Andrew followed me, holding my hips hard enough to bruise.

At the very last thrust, his hands moved to part my buttocks. That way, he was able to ensure that scarcely a millimetre of his dick went unburied. I felt the enormity inside me grow even larger.

I've seen Andrew's cock swell when he's just about to blow; the head enlarges and the shaft grows thicker too. I envisaged all this as he shot a blast of cum deep inside me. The thought of his thick creamy jizz squirting into me was enough to make me explode too.

I barely touched my straining cock before it erupted in several long-distance spurts across the bed-sheets. As my tight ass extracted Andrew's last few droplets, the torrent from my own dick finally dwindled to a few last beads and threads of honey.

Andrew withdrew and I collapsed to lie on my back. I could feel cum dribbling out of me. My balls were covered in cum too - stuff that had been dislodged during Andrew's final vicious assault.

I neither knew nor cared whose jizz was dribbling out of me. I just gloried in the knowledge that my ass contained a quantity of each man's juice. I was proud to have an intimate trace of Leo, Brad and Andrew inside me.

It made me feel that the four of us were connected as closely as can be. And I hoped we might stay so connected forever.

After that, we called it a night. Andrew and I were asleep as soon as our heads hit the pillow. The next day, Brad told me he and Leo had partied on together for a while in the guest bedroom. I gathered that Leo had treated Brad to the longest fuck of his life. Our group encounter had been a sure-fire aphrodisiac for this subsequent coupling in private. Brad was ecstatic.

We all slept late on the Saturday morning. Having missed our regular workout the day before, Andrew and I were determined to go to a gym, no matter how tired we felt.

Leo and Brad were markedly unenthusiastic until I told them - in jest - that it only takes two days for love handles to reappear.

We went to a gym to the south of us - one we'd only added to the chain a few weeks earlier. It was agreeably busy. While Andrew and I had a hurried meeting with the duty manager, Leo and Brad headed to the change rooms.

Some forty-five minutes later, with the meeting over, Andrew and I also got changed. I stopped to chat to Brad before starting my routine.

'Sorry about that. You two are probably exhausted by now. If you want to call it a day, there's an excellent coffee shop just around the corner. Andrew and I could meet you guys there later.'

Brad was using an exercise bike. Not very enthusiastically - the pedals moved very slowly - but I guess it qualified as a cool down.

'Are you kidding?' he asked. 'I'm not leaving this spot until I absolutely have to.'

He leaned closer and whispered.

'The view is fantastic.'

I followed his gaze. Flat on his back, thighs spread wide apart, was a youngish guy doing bench presses. His shorts were sufficiently loose to reveal glimpses of a nicely-packed jock-strap pouch.

'Don't make it too obvious' I replied before moving on, but I smiled as I said it.

At least Leo wasn't treating the place as a smorgasbord. He was in a side room, diligently doing step aerobics to a DVD playing on the large screen. There was a young girl on either side of him. I guess they each thought him incredible handsome and distinguished.

I was tempted to tell them he was a notorious cock-sucker, but I managed to control myself.

An hour or so later, we were all sitting in a booth sipping coffee. Brad and Leo, seated opposite, were still flushed from their workout; especially Brad. His cheeks were bright patches of pink. His light auburn hair was damp and his eyes shone.

'He's been telling me all about the floor show' Leo said.

I flashed him a warning look. He understood. He appreciated that Andrew might not be thrilled to hear that Brad had spent every spare moment checking out other guys' baskets.

'What floor show?' asked Andrew.

'Me' Leo replied. 'Brad found my attempts at step aerobics hilarious. Apparently I have two left feet. But I got a good workout even if the women's coordination put me to shame.'

As Andrew assured Leo he would soon get the knack, I found myself admiring Leo's ability to think quickly and come up with a plausible white lie. Brad hadn't missed the point of all this. If anything, he went even pinker.

At one point during the subsequent conversation, I caught Leo looking at me strangely. He looked perplexed and deep in thought.

'I still can't figure out who you remind me of' he said. 'It seems unlikely that we've ever met before and yet there's something about you that sends my memory banks into overdrive. Without any result though.'

'Maybe I just have a common face' I joked.

'No. No.' Brad interrupted. 'You're beautiful, Matt. Truly, truly beautiful.'

'Thank you' I replied.

'Well, let's face facts' Leo drawled. 'We're all impossibly gorgeous and handsome and buffed and toned. It beats me why the paparazzi aren't camped outside besieging us.'

We all laughed heartily, but I still caught Leo glancing at me every now and then. It was disconcerting. I found myself speculating that maybe he'd developed a crush on me. I hoped not, because that would spoil everything.

I'm very happy with Andrew. Occasional romps with Leo and Brad were not supposed to make life complicated. The intention was to enhance our sex lives - not to complicate our love lives.

Later, as we prepared lunch, I discussed the matter with Andrew. Brad and Leo had gone for a walk along the beach so there was no danger of being overheard.

'At the risk of crushing your massive ego' said Andrew, 'I really don't think it's a romantic thing. He obviously likes you a lot - who wouldn't? - but I've noticed him looking at you too. I think he's genuinely trying to place you. Maybe you remind him of a cute little pug dog he had as a kid.'

I pretended to be offended and told Andrew he could finish preparing lunch on his own. After a hug and a kiss, I forgave him.

With lunch over with, we sat around watching photos Brad and Leo had taken on their honeymoon trip. Brad is a whiz with technology, and the snaps appeared larger than life on the big flat-screen TV in our living room.

Towards the end of this modern-day slideshow, there were many photos Brad and Leo had taken since arriving to stay with us. Most were simply casual but candid shots of guys eating on the deck or swimming naked in the pool.

There were also some snaps of me being doubly penetrated the night before. They were very sexy pictures, even if our facial expressions were a bit goofy in some. One's eye did not linger long on faces. The focal point was my ass and the two dicks inside it.

I must point out that there was one particular photograph that troubled me a little. It was a shot of Leo and me, sitting side-by-side in deckchairs. We were both smiling at the camera and looked supremely happy.

For no reason that I could fathom, I suddenly found myself sharing Leo's conviction that we'd met before. Once the raunchier snaps came on screen, I quickly dismissed my twinge of unease.

Andrew and I washed dishes together while Leo and Brad drank beer by the pool. The plan was to catch a few waves later in the afternoon and maybe hit a nightspot in the evening.

'About Leo' Andrew said quietly. 'At first I wondered if he might be a guy you once hitched a ride with on one of your weekend escapes from Plainsville.'

'Definitely not' I assured him. 'I may have been a promiscuous little slut back then, but not so busy sucking dick that I'd forget a face.'

'I agree that he's not a blast from your hitch-hiking days' Andrew replied. 'It's something else. And, by the way, Matt Swanson, don't you ever let me hear you calling yourself a slut again. You did what you had to in order to survive in a nightmare world.'

'If I said it again, would you punish me?' I asked.

'Absolutely. And don't assume you'll enjoy the punishment. It mightn't be a super-vigorous fuck. It might be separate beds for a month.'

'You wouldn't last a night' I retorted.

'True' said Andrew. 'What hot-blooded man could? You're irresistible, babe.'

The weather was extremely kind to us while our guest were in town. The waves were not so accommodating, however, and we cancelled plans to hit the beach. Instead, we splashed in the pool and basked in the sun's rays.

I was applying some sunscreen to Brad's shoulders when I looked up and caught Andrew's eye. I treated him to one of my most dazzling smiles - as irresistible people do - and I was surprised when a sudden look of consternation passed across his face.

I opened my mouth, intending to ask if he was OK, but he forestalled me with a shake of his head and a raised finger. He mouthed the word "later".

It was agreed between the four of us that a siesta might be a good idea before we headed out to party at a highly popular gay club in town. We retreated to our respective bedrooms. It was understood by all of us that we would once again congregate in the main bedroom when we got home from clubbing.

I lay on the bed, snuggled safely in Andrew's arms. He smelled of Reef sunscreen - a delectable odour of coconut and other tropical fragrances - and I will forever associate that smell with what he told me that afternoon.

'I know what's bugging Leo' he said quietly.

'What is it?' I asked.

'You may not want to know' he warned me. 'It might be better to leave things lie.'

'No' I whispered urgently, turning to face him. 'I want to know. I need to know.'

'OK, sweetheart. Here goes.'

And then he told me the whole story. He'd put together several random pieces of information and come up with a very convincing explanation. Stray words here and there, a private chat with Leo, certain physical characteristics, a much-worn photograph; they all helped form a coherent whole.

Andrew reminded me that Leo had once visited Plainsville during his college days. Just one winter's night at the hideous local inn. I nodded. I remembered him mentioning it once or twice.

'The thing is, babe' Andrew continued. 'Leo encountered a woman staggering alongside the road when he popped out to the convenience store for some alcohol to warm him up a bit. He was on his way back to the inn when she emerged in the darkness.

He stopped to ask if she needed help. She shook her head and sobbed that no one could help her.'

'It was my mother, wasn't it?' I asked in an awed whisper.

'Yes it was. She was wearing just a light cotton dress. No coat. No shoes. No purse or handbag. And she had a bruise forming on her cheek and the beginnings of a black eye too. She was shivering with the cold. Her hair was wild. Her eyes were pools of terror. And yet, according to Leo, she was nonetheless undeniably beautiful.'

Tears welled in my eyes. I'd never imagined that my mother had enjoyed an easy life with Pa. But I'd never allowed myself to imagine just how awful it might have been. Her flight in the night seemed eerily similar to my own bursts for freedom as a teenager.

'Anyway' Andrew continued. 'Leo insisted she get in the car - get out of the wind and sleet. There was snow on the ground. There were no other cars in sight. He felt he had to help her in some way.'

'He was a true gentleman even way back then' I murmured.

'I guess so, Matt. He took her to the inn. No one was on the desk so he took her up to his room and plied her with coffee and neat bourbon in an attempt to warm her up. But she continued to shiver. She wasn't just cold. She was in shock too.

Leo offered to ring the Sherriff or to call a doctor, but she grew almost hysterical at these suggestions. He asked her what had happened but she shook her head and said she didn't want to talk about it.

Leo was still pretty much a kid at the time. He'd never encountered domestic violence but he suspected this was what had happened.'

I was weeping openly by now. I couldn't bear to think of my mother - the woman I'd never met - enduring beatings similar to those Pa had regularly inflicted on me. Andrew squeezed me tight to his chest before continuing.

'The only thing Leo could think of was to offer up his bed for the night. He was happy to sleep in an armchair wearing his topcoat and a scarf. But the woman still shivered. He could hear her teeth chattering.

Even when he donated his coat as additional covering, she shivered uncontrollably. He was about to ignore her wishes and call a doctor when she asked if he'd mind getting into bed and holding her. It seemed an innocent request. It was a sensible move.'

I stopped crying. My grief at her plight was overtaken by my curiosity about what had happened that night.

'Leo hugged her close for the longest time' Andrew said. 'Long enough for her shivering to subside. Long enough for him to drift off to sleep. He saw nothing improper about being in bed with a strange woman. After all, they were fully dressed - well, he was - and it was a mercy mission in his opinion.

At some time during the night, Leo awoke to the realisation that he had an erection and it was pressed hard up against the woman in bed beside him.

He was embarrassed. He wriggled his hips away from her but she moved back against him. She told him she'd never met a kinder person. She told him she wanted him to make love to her.

One of her remarks seemed odd to Leo. She said she was a married woman with two children and yet she'd never made love in her entire life.'

'I know what she meant' I whispered. 'Pa was a vicious brute of a man. I can't bear to think of him having his way with her. There would have been no love involved. Just an assertion of ownership and power. Bastard!'

'The thing is' Andrew continued. 'Leo had never made love in his entire life either. He was just twenty-one and yet to lose his virginity fully. Blow jobs and hand jobs from his girlfriend - yes. The whole enchilada - no.

'So she initiated him into the joys of intercourse, Matt. I don't like to speak of your mother having sex, but that's what happened. But it wasn't brutal or totally loveless.

I think she was bestowing a gift on Leo. I think she derived great comfort from being treated with respect, even reverence. And I know it remained a precious memory for Leo.'

'I think you're right' I said. 'I agree. It doesn't upset me. I'm glad she experienced a little tenderness in her life.'

'They made love several times that night' Andrew said. 'Next morning, after a hot shower, your mother insisted she must return home. She said that if your father found her at the inn he would kill her. And Leo too.

So he managed to get her outside without anyone noticing and he dropped her off at the track leading to Pa's farm. He never knew her name and he never saw her again. He left Plainsville after lunch and headed back to campus.

He'd arrived in Plainsville as a boy. He left feeling like a man.'

'I think that's a lovely story' I murmured. 'I'm glad for her and I'm glad for him. They each did the other a good deed. It's sweet. But what makes you think it's true?'

'I have a confession to make' Andrew said. 'You know I hate going through other people's stuff. I'm not a snoop. But I know your still keep your mother's photo in your wallet. I couldn't see it at first, but I found it behind my own photo in one of the little windows.

I borrowed it for just a few minutes when I knew you wouldn't notice. I showed it to Leo. He gasped and said it was the face of the woman he met in Plainsville all those years ago.'

'I'm glad' I said again. 'Leo's a great guy. I'm sure he was just as nice that night in Plainsville.'

'Sweetheart, there's more' Andrew warned me.

'Leo has never been a tearaway' he continued. 'He was not the sort of young buck who always carried a condom in his wallet. He was not an opportunist. So he and your mother had sex without using condoms.

If he gave it any thought at all, then he assumed she was on the pill or perhaps even past child-bearing age. He judged her to be in her mid-thirties. Still incredibly beautiful beneath the bruises and grazes, but definitely a mature woman.'

'So what are you telling me?' I asked. 'Surely she didn't give him the clap. If that's the point of this story, then I wish you'd never started it.'

'No, babe' insisted Andrew, again hugging me tight. 'No. The point of this story is that Leo met your mother one night in early January 1990. And you were born in the following October.'

I had to think for a moment. My mind whirled as I tried to absorb the timing, the dates.

'So Leo's my father?' I cried. 'I'm his son?'

'Maybe' Andrew said. 'It's not an open and shut case. It might all be coincidence. But I doubt your mother routinely slept with other men. I'm sure that night with Leo was the only time.'

'Does Leo know he's my father?' I asked. 'I guess he does if you've been talking with him and showing him my mother's photo.'

'No, Matt. He doesn't know. He doesn't know your birth date. He hasn't asked. He's still busy processing the fact that he once slept with your mother. He hasn't gone beyond that. Not yet.'

'So that's why he feels he's met me before' I suggested. 'He sees my mother's looks in me. He's been wondering where he's seen that look before.'

'Yes' replied Andrew. 'That's exactly what he's been doing.'

'And you' I said. 'You've been wondering too. Is that what caused that funny look on your face in the pool this afternoon?'

'What I suddenly realised this afternoon was that you and Leo share exactly the same three-cornered smile. And you both tilt your head to the right-hand side when asking a question. I'm not sure if those are hereditary traits, but they sealed the deal for me.'

We both lay in silence for several minutes. My initial amazement slowly turned into consternation.

'I've been having sex with my real father. My biological parent. Oh my God, Andrew; I'm right back where I was when I thought Pa was my father. Oh, shit. Fuck. What the hell's wrong with me?'

I had tears in my eyes again. Tears of rage and humiliation.

From the highs of the night before - from the thrill of engaging intimately with Leo and Brad - I felt myself descending into hell.

 

Andrew Tait

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