THE RETURN Chapter 1
David felt as though his whole body had been hit at once. He had no breath in him yet he was panting. His heart had stopped yet it was beating in agony. He wanted to howl in pain yet could make no sound. He sat at the keyboard and the message on his screen burned into his brain.
"Hi David, I'm back in England: Any chance of a meeting? Anton."
How had he got his email address? Who was he with? Twenty years silence. Why now? Why break it now? Surely time had provided distance for him and yet his whole nervous system had gone into overdrive, heart pumping quicker, his mouth unusually dry, there were tears in his eyes and a pain in his groin as though he had been gelded.
The words were so simple as though little more than a fortnight had passed since they had last met, not twenty years.
Had Anton forgotten that awful, somewhat hysterical, viciously destructive evening? Did he somehow think it would be forgotten? Wiped away as though it had never happened? That evening when he, David, had fled from the apartment and had not returned for forty-eight hours, by which time Anton had gone and taken every trace of his occupancy with him. He had left no note, no forwarding address, nothing, merely silence.
Twenty years, not days, later and the physical ache pulsed through David. He was awakened to the fact that the door he thought closed, bolted and locked, could be brutally wrenched open by a bland message, purely because it was from Anton. He felt again all the sexual pain, the balls-aching neediness, the two days of tears and the months of abandoned hope. He recalled that a couple of years after Anton had vanished someone had mentioned that he was in the Lebanon and at another time someone had said that they had seen him in Turkey. David had not dared to respond beyond a misleadingly dismissive grunt so nothing further was said. Perhaps that was foolish. If he had spoken of Anton, he might have drawn the poison out of the memory of that terrible night; perhaps he wouldn't be suddenly as lost as he felt at this moment.
He thought back to the Anton he remembered: that wide shouldered, narrow hipped, big cocked Anton. With the deep brown eyes and the deep, dark voice which cajoled and wooed you with every syllable; the mouth that kissed you making your body tingle and your cock rigid. Then there were those occasional weekends when he didn't let you get out of bed and you fucked and sucked until your balls were empty; then you licked strawberry ice cream from his navel and he, black cherry jam from your nipples; you blew each other with your mouth full of champagne to seeif the bubbles made a difference, Your cock felt raw but you were happy and so in love.
But that was the trouble: Anton wasn't. He couldn't be satisfied with just David. He wanted Edward and Peter and Simon and Joe and all those other young secretly available young men who caught his eye. Whenever David was late working or had to go away for the weekend, Anton needed someone for sex. He developed a taste for threesomes so long as he was in the middle. He loved being fucked whilst he fucked or face-fucked another. And he had drawn David into his games. Then he wanted orgies with guys so that every part of him was being used, there was a cock in his mouth, someone was rimming him while he fucked a fourth with a foot-fetishist sucking his toes and a sixth to spray them with semen whilst they writhed laocoon-like.. That was the trouble, and that's why everything went pear-shaped. For David had grown to hate all this "sharing" and so one evening, just for once David had stood up for himself and told Anton he was corrupt and evil and loved nobody really but himself, treating everyone else as little more than sex-toys and that he, David, wanted him out of his flat.
A cold and furious Anton turned on his erstwhile lover, dismissed him as sexually naïve and inadequate, intellectually inferior, and effeminate. He mocked his pretensions and mimicked his complaint. Anton claimed he had never loved him and had only stayed with him because David was prepared to pick up all the bills. On and on it went, a relentless diatribe viciously mocking him, destroying every moment they had ever shared, until David could take no more and fled.
Now Anton was back and wanted to see him. Why?
Besides there was Gerry, now. He knew nothing of Anton. He was sweet and kind and David knew that Gerry loved him and not just because of his money or his position but just because he was him. And he loved the much younger man who gave him love and sex and just wanted to make him happy.
It had been nearly three years since he'd picked the boy up along the Embankment, they were both on their way home from a concert at the Festival Hall. Gerry had been a student then, - a fully fledged graduate now, with a research job in the City - but then just a young guy looking for sex with an older man.
David sat back and remembered that night. His cock twitched and started to grow. He heard the front door open and shut.
"Second - It's pissing with rain, I'm drenched."
"Come here, please."
David stood and as Gerry entered the room took him in his arms and kissed him hard.
"Can we fuck now!.... I want you so much"
"Wow, what all this?" Gerry grinned and laughed, as his lover ground his stiffening cock against him. "You mean it?"
"Of course I mean it." He started to unbutton Gerry's shirt. "I want you so much."
They fumbled and cast off garments and awkwardly intertwined made their way to their bedroom. David was down to his boxers and Gerry naked by the time they hit the bed together, kissing, hugging and stroking each other. David ducked down and took Gerry's uncut cock in his mouth and sucked on the head
"Sheeeeeiit baby. What's brought this on?" He moaned and gasped under the onslaught. "I'm not complaining... but OOOh God. Rim me and fuck me, Darling!!"
David lifted and turned him over then buried his face in Gerry's crack. His hardened tongue bathed the puckered hole and forced its way in, without looking he fumbled some lube out of the bedside drawer. He covered his cock with the gel then put a couple of fingerfulls up inside the young man. He plunged his cock deep into him, Gerry screamed and so David held him and kissed him while the pain subsided and when his lover relaxed and whispered "Go for it, big man!" David started to fuck his lover with an urgency and a need
He hadn't had such a gut-wrenching ache for an animal fuck since the Anton years. Then it was to make his lover understand that he loved him, now...now it was to prove to himself that he only loved Gerry.
Gerry was loving it. He always did when David went a bit wild. He had never known his father who had been murdered when he was an baby but as a gay fourteen year old he had fantasized about being fucked by him. Now he had David as lover and father-figure, those occasions when David masterfully took him were exciting and carried the frisson of incest, they also seemed to make David's cock bigger. It really filled him and sparked off his prostate.
"OOOOh Fuuuck! Man. ..... YEEEEah. ..... Fill me. Breeeeed me. Ooooooh Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!" His own cock was rigid between them. He felt if he touched it he would shoot.
David was power fucking and he felt his scrotum tighten. With a shout, he came deep inside his young paramour. He came and he came and felt his cum trickling back down his shaft and leaking onto his own balls. He collapsed on top of the boy beneath him, holding him, kissing him, loving him with every fibre of his being; trying to force Anton back into a forgotten past
They lay together not moving. Eventually Gerry kissed him and whispered "Thanks baby that was wonderful. But... well.. what brought this on?"
David raised his head, looked into dark violet eyes. "Sorry, sweet one, I just love you so much and don't want to lose you."
Gerry raised a quizzical eyebrow, " Lose me? How lose me? You must know that I love you. How are you going to lose me?...Though." he grinned, " If you want to rape me every night when I get home then that's OK with me. But perhaps I should take certain precautions like lubing myself well and inserting a large butt plug before I leave the office."
"I didn't mean it to be rape. Did it feel like rape?"
"No...no.. of course it didn't. But I just wondered what had happened that made you need to... well almost before I was through the door?"
"It was nothing; that is I always want you, you know that ..."
"Thank you." Gerry kissed him.
" And there was Just something I was reminded of from years and years ago; Nothing that needs to worry you. It was unpleasant and horrid and I want to forget all about it again. I Don't you even think about it."
"I can't if I don't know what it is."
"That's good. There is no point in going into it, it would take too long to explain. I love you, Gerry. I love you so much."
Gerry felt him self tearing up. "I know you do. And I love you too... so much...so much."
They kissed and after a while moved and found they were sticky with Gerry's load which had erupted between them as David fell on him.
"Let's shower. I'll get some supper together, then you can read me some porn you are about to publish, then we'll come back to bed and fuck some more"
"I don't publish porn."
"You should then you could read the best bits to me which would give me ideas that I could practice on you, so you could pass the books off as educational."
David laughed and they kissed some more. He found he had relaxed, the horrors has passed. He wasn't going to think about Anton - in fact if he just ignored him perhaps he would just go away.
[If he had listened very carefully he might have heard faint, distant, hollow laughter from the fates.]