I started out pretty well the same as most other guys. I was pretty young when I went through the show me yours and I'll show you mine stage followed very quickly by the I'll touch yours etc, etc. stage. It seemed OK for boys to be interested (I'm sure it was the same for girls) and we never seemed to hesitate to pull our pants down and check each other out. That all changed by time I turned 12. What seemed to be alright before became taboo. You didn't even think about asking someone to see their cock and damn sure didn't ask to touch one. All the boys had discovered girls by then and if I had of asked to see their cock I would have either gotten punched or had everybody in school calling me queer so I curbed my curiosity and blended in. Don't get me wrong, there were still opportunities but I always let the other person make the first moves.

   One good place to check things out was the boys shower. We went to a small school where the only sport we had was basketball. It just so happened that the gym was in the grade school building and our bathroom shared the showers so every day the high school boys were taking showers after practice. I knew their schedule and was able to get out of class for a bathroom call. I didn't do this every day, only about once a week but even with that I did get to check out some boys who were a lot (to me anyway) bigger than most of the boys my age. At that time I wasn't even sure why I wanted to check things out. I never thought of anything past looking. I just knew that I enjoyed seeing naked guys. All I really ever got were quick glimpses but even those stirred something inside me, I just didn't know what. My best day around the showers was the day I happened to walk in a little early. Practice was still going on and I didn't expect to see anything I just really needed to go to the bathroom. I heard some noise coming from the showers and being a typical nosy kid I went to check it out. I was very surprised to see one of the high school guys leaning against the shower wall stroking his cock. I didn't know what to do! He had his eyes closed and hadn't seen or heard me but I knew that if he opened them and saw me I was going to be in trouble. Part of me wanted to run but another part wanted to stay and see what happened. I had seen a hard cock before but I had never seen anyone stroking one. At that age I had no idea what that would do. I knew that rubbing mine felt good but that was all, no matter how much I rubbed it nothing happened. I didn't find out though. He opened his eyes and saw me watching. Neither of us said a word, he just turned away and I left.

   Over the next couple of years I had a few more experiences of the looking and rubbing variety. I did find out what happened if you kept rubbing it! That was a defining moment of which I took advantage and tried my best to rub it off for awhile! I even had one cousin that came between my cheeks one time when I spent the night. He talked me into stroking his and after it was nice and hard he wanted to stick it in me but I was scared of the idea so he ended up sliding it between my cheeks. I might have been willing to try taking it but he was just a little to excited for me to trust him to take it easy.

   There was an old farmer that lived a couple of miles from us (late 40's or early 50's which was super old to me) and I used to go fishing in the pond next to his house. He didn't mind and even came out to say hi and ask how I was doing if he saw me out there. I never really thought anything about it until one hot summer day. I had been fishing for a couple of hours when he came out and ask if I wanted something to drink. I said sure and he asked if a soda would be alright. I told him that would be fine and as he turned away I heard him say I'd offer a beer but I doubt you'd like that. When he came back I told him that did like beer and my uncle let me have one every once in awhile. he got a good laugh from that. He stood watching for a while then said if I ever wanted to go swimming in the pond to be sure and stay on the end close to the house and if I wanted to do any skinny dipping that would be fine also. I was to embarrassed to say anything except thank you. After he left I didn't know what to think. I did really enjoy skinny dipping but I always did it in a secluded spot on the creek or the river. His offer was really tempting because that pond was a lot closer to my house. I decided I would think about it and maybe even try it the next time I came.

   The next time I went it was even hatter than the first time and after an hour of sitting on the bank sweating my ass off I decided it was a great time to take advantage of the cool water. I hadn't seen the farmer all day and assumed he wasn't home. That made me feel a little more comfortable so I stripped out of my cloths and waded out into the pond. I was just floating around with my eyes closed enjoying the cool water when i heard something on the bank. I opened my eyes and the farmer was standing on the bank watching me. It surprised me so much I went under and came up sputtering and coughing from the mouth full of water I had taken. He came down to the waters edge and asked if i was OK. It took a few minutes to answer but as soon as I could talk I assured him I was. He asked if I minded if he took a break and kept an eye on me just to make sure. I couldn't really tell him no since it was his pond. He sat on the bank and made small talk about things. I did my best to respond because I didn't want to be rude but I was really wishing he would leave so i could get out and get my cloths on. He finally stood up and my hopes that he would leave soared until he said that I must be getting cold and if I wanted to get out I could come in the house and warm up before I headed home. The last thing I wanted too do was get out of the water and let a grown up see me naked but he just kept standing there with an expectant look on his face. I really felt stuck when he walked over and picked up my cloths and brought them closer to the water for me.

   I finally gave up and started walking out of the water. I was afraid he might say something or even laugh like some of the boys at school did when he saw me naked. My cock was small and even though a lot of the boys my age were starting to get hair around their crouch I was as smooth as a baby, which is why some of them laughed at me. He didn't say a word, didn't even smile just handed me my cloths and waited for me to put them on. He kept talking about general stuff as we headed up to his house and I just kind of followed along because I didn't know what else to do. I still wasn't very comfortable but he had always been really nice to me so I didn't see any reason not to go along. Once we got in the house he told me to have a seat and pointed to the couch. He waited till I sat down then ask if I wanted something to drink. I said sure and he started toward another room but he stopped and looked back. If you're telling the truth about beer I can let you have a cold one he said. I was telling the truth, my uncle did let me have one sometimes and even though I didn't really want one I said sure just to prove I could drink one.

   I had never been in his house and I was looking around when I noticed a magazine laying on the table next to the couch. It was in color and had a naked guy on the cover! I checked to make sure he was still in the kitchen then opened the book. There were naked guys on every page and most of the had a hard on! I had seen a couple of the black and white nudist magazines before but I had never seen one where the guys were hard! I got excited immediately and kept looking toward the kitchen hoping he would come back to soon. I got a little to involved in looking at the pictures because I glanced back at the door and he was standing there holding the beer. I closed the book as quick as I could but I knew he had seen me looking at it. I could feel my face getting red and was wondering what I would say if he asked about it. He brought my beer over and set it on the same table the book was on. He asked if I liked looking at the pictures. I was so embarrassed all I could do was mumble yes and nod my head. He helped things by just smiling and saying that it wasn't any thing to be ashamed of and went to the chair on the other side of the room. he never said another word about the book for the next hour while we drank our beer. He talked about fishing and swimming until we were finished and I got up to leave then he told me I could come back to swim anytime I wanted and if I would like another beer I would be welcome to one. I thanked him and headed for the door. "I have some more of the books if you'd like to look at them sometime." he said as I opened the door. I just said OK.

   It was almost a week before I built up enough nerve to go back. To tell the truth I really wanted to look at that book again. I'd been thinking about it ever since I left his house. I even dreamed about the pictures I'd seen including a wet one where I had one of them in my hand and was stroking it. What I really wanted to to take the book down in the woods so I could look at it while I was alone but I knew the only way I was going to get to see it again was to go to his house. I was really hot the day I decided to go over so I was only wearing a pair of shorts and a tee shirt. I wasn't thinking of anything other than staying cool and I figured that if I wanted to go swimming I could wear my shorts instead of getting naked.

   He must have been checking the pond because I had just barely baited my hook and cast out before he came walking to the pond. He acted surprised when he saw me sitting there so maybe I was wrong about him watching. He sat on the bank beside me and asked if I was going to go swimming. I told him I had just got there and wasn't sure. He said he was just checking because he'd seen a few snakes in the pond last time he was there and wanted to let me know to be careful if I did. I thanked him for that and told him I would. He patted me on the back as he got up and told me good luck on the fishing and started back to his house. He stopped after a few steps and said that since it was so hot if I wanted something to drink to come on up to the house because he had some really cold beer. I thanked him and said I might and went back to fishing. I really wanted to go up to his house and see if that book was still out plus it was really hot and the sound of an ice cold beer sounded really good. I sat there for another hour trying to fish but my mind kept going over the pictures I'd seen to the point that I missed a couple of good bites from not paying attention. I was sweating pretty good from sitting there in the sun and I convinced myself that was the reason I headed to the house.

   When I knocked on the door and called his name I heard him say come on in. I had always called him by his last name but this time when I walked into the house he said that since we were sharing a beer I might as well drop the Mr. and call him Alex. I thought it was going to hard for me to call an adult by his first name but he was being nice so I told him I would. He got up from his chair, motioned for me to have a seat on the couch and asked if I was ready for that beer. I told him I sure was and as soon as he walked into the kitchen I looked at the table to see if the book was still there. Not only was it there but there were five more to go with it. I knew I wasn't going to have time to look through them before he got back and just grabbed the second one down and tried it flip through it as fast as I could.

   Of course I got caught, again. He came back in a lot quicker than he did the first time. I dropped the book down as soon as he walked in but he had seen me looking and as he handed me the beer he said it was fine if I wanted to look at them, I didn't need to try being sneaking to go ahead and check them out while I had my beer. Then he really surprised me by sitting on the couch next to me instead of going to his chair like last time. He got settled in and put his feet on the coffee table and asked me to hand him the books. I was nervous having him sitting by me and was still embarrassed about the books but I handed them to him anyway. He shuffled through them while I was sitting there almost afraid to breath. He held up the one I had seen the last time and said "you've already seen this one, do you want to look some more or see a different one?" I was trying hard not to look directly at the books but I turned my head when he asked and pointed to another that showed a guy laying on a bed with another guy standing behind him.

   The next half hour was really strange. I was sitting next to an adult, drinking beer, not saying a word and looking at dirty magazines. I was uncomfortable sitting there and excited from what I was seeing in the books at the same time. I kind of drifted off to my own little word to the point that it scared me when he spoke. "Looks like you're really enjoying whatever you're looking at" he said. I didn't know what he was talking about for a minute, then I realized that I was hard and with just my loose shorts on it was sticking straight up. I was so embarrassed I wanted to sink down and hide my face in the couch! He just laughed and said "it's OK, I get that way myself when I look at these". He put his hand on my leg and asked "have you ever jacked off while looking at pictures?" All I could do was nod. "have you ever seen anyone else jack off?" he asked. Again all I could do was nod. He asked who I had seen and how it happened so I finally found my voice and told him about the guy in the shower at school. He didn't say any thing about that, he just got up and went to the kitchen and brought us back two more beers. My limit had always been one when my uncle let me drink but between being embarrassed, dry mouthed and hot I not only took it I drank almost half of it without stopping. When he sat back down he asked if I'd ever jacked another guy. I still didn't trust my voice so I just nodded. When he asked if anyone else had ever jacked me off I just shook my head. "Well that's not fair" he said " if you jack someone off they should return the favor." I really didn't know what to say to that.

   By this time the beer was starting to kick in. I'd never been drunk before but I was already feeling a little light headed. I still had the book open on my lap and I was so hard it was starting to hurt a little. I took another drink and he slide the book off of my lap and touched the head of my dick through my shorts. it was so unexpected that I choked on my drink. He patted me on the back with his other had but he kept his finger in my dick. Once I stopped coughing I froze in place. I didn't know what to do. I wanted him to move his finger but I also wanted him to rub me harder. All he did was move his hand to my thigh, gave it a squeeze and told me it was alright to take care of that if I wanted to. then he picked up a couple of the magazines and went over to sit in his chair.

   I sat there doing nothing. I kept my eyes on the book and didn't look at him. I was still feeling a little fuzzy headed and was having trouble getting my thoughts to sort out. My dick felt harder than when he had touched it and I wanted to stroke it so bad but how could I do that with an adult man watching me? I seemed so much different that if it had been another guy my age, but he was still a guy, only older. I wasn't like I had never done stuff in front of or with another guy But he was so much older. He had already seen me naked and didn't laugh or make any comment about my lack of hair so in that way he was nicer than some of the guys my age.

   I sat there holding my book but not really looking at the pictures. I was trying to sort out what I was feeling but was only making myself more confused. I still felt embarrassed about him touching my dick but at the same time I wanted him to do it again and even more than that I wanted to touch his. I had never touched an adult dick before and couldn't help but wonder how it would feel. I looked back at the picture in the book. One picture was of a guy sitting in a chair, naked with his dick hard and sticking straight up. I closed my eyes and pictured Alex sitting like that and wondered it his dick would look like the one pictured.

   I realized that I had been hearing something for a few minutes without really paying attention to it. When I looked up to see what it was it was a soft moaning noise and it was coming from Alex. He was sitting in his chair with his eyes closed and even though he had his book open on his lap I could tell that he was jacking off behind it. I was embarrassed to be watching him but I couldn't look away. With the book held in front I couldn't really see anything except his arm moving but there was no doubt of what he was doing. As I watched he leaned his head back and started moaning a little louder as his arm started working faster. I really wanted him to drop the book so I could see him stroking his dick but he still held it in the way and I was to embarrassed to stand up and look over it. He had been stroking for what seemed like a long time when with a groan his arm stopped moving and I knew he was coming. I was hoping he would drop the book then and I'd get to see what it looked like but he never did.

   After a few minutes he opened his eyes and saw me staring at him. He surprised me by just smiling and finally dropping the book. He still had his dick in his hand and I could seem the cum shining on the head. He picked up a cloth from the arm of his chair and wiped the head and shaft, all the time watching me and smiling. Finally he stood up and said he was sorry but he'd gotten so horny from looking at the pictures that he had to do something. His dick was still sticking out of his pants and I couldn't take my eyes off it. It wasn't still hard but neither was it totally soft and I wanted so bad to touch it, but he just walked out of the room with it wagging along in front of him. As he went out the door he told me that it was all right with him if I wanted to hack off and that I was embarrassed he would stay in his bedroom until I was done.

   I don't know what would have happened that day if I would have taken him up on the offer but I just sat there till he came back. When he came back out he acted like nothing had happened and after talking about things that I don't remember i got up to head home. As I walked out the door he told me that I was more than welcome to come back anytime I wanted and that he was looking forward to seeing me again. I got brave and told him I'd see him in a couple of days. I didn't say a word about how much I wanted to see him jack off again or how much I wanted to help him but I knew that if he was willing I was going to get to have my hands on his dick as soon as I could!


                                                                                 Going farther


bud C

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