I stare down at my phone seeing Jacob's name across my screen, chills were running up and down my body. My thumb hovers over the answer button unsure whether to take the call. Most people would just ignore the call but my curiosity and morals got the best of me and I answered the call.
"Hello?" I answer.
Hey Sam how are you?" He asked in his deep husky toned voice. His voice awakens something deep in me, turning my inner goodies around. Something that I haven't felt in a while.
I move the phone away from me for a second taking a deep breath composing myself before speaking. I bring the phone back to my ear.
"Hey, Jacob I'm good how are you doing?" I reply.
"I been okay just tired from all the studying hoping I passed the midterms" He chuckles.
"I'm with you there" agreeing with him.
I clear my throat "So I know this is old news and we haven't really spoken in a while but I heard you came out. I am so glad that you finally did I know it wasn't an easy thing to do especially with Sarah."
"She was the first one I told. I owed it to her given our history together we ended up good friends now to be honest we are much better friends then being together no matter how weird that sounds...however, the reason why I really am calling is that I wanted to ask you something after you everything that happened I never reached when I found out you were talking to Joel again I went radio silent and I am sorry. So to try to make it up to you I was wondering if you aren't doing anything tonight if you want to go into town and get a coffee or something catch up? Beside I need to talk to someone about my coming out." I could hear how nervous he was from the tone of his voice. But, I knew that he was genuinely wanting to make things right and just hang out.
My mind was telling me that this was a bad idea, knowing full well that my feelings for Jacob have always been more intense and true then they were for Joel no matter how much I didn't like to feel that way. However, my morals and kindness won my mind over.
"Yeah, sure I'd like that let's meet in west coast cafe in a hour?"
"Yeah that sound great I'll see you then" he says excited.
"See you then" Hanging up I end up surprising myself when a smile spreads across my face. I shook my head getting up to change.
I chose to wear black Jean's with a white button down shirt. I grab my keys and jacket and head out to the city.
Since moving hear in August there were a few things that I was really excited to see one of which was downtown Grand Rapids at Christmas time snow covering the buildings Christmas lights around Rosa Park circle with a big tall Christmas tree next the art museum. This city felt so much different then the larger cities I lived in. This town was big but yet small enough where you can feel the sense of community.I park the car in a nearby parking garage and head to the circle I instantly spot Jacob near the Christmas tree. He was looking up checking out the decorations smiling, as I got closer I notice a couple changes his hair was a bit longer and had a well groomed but styled scruff going on which made him look more older then what he is. I could feel my cheek flush crimson red seeing this rugged looking guy so much different then the frat boy I met.
I end up walking to him, as I stand near him he doesn't sense my presence given how fixated he is on the tree.
"It's a beautiful tree" I say. His body tenses and jumps a bit being caught off guard by the unsuspecting voice. When he looks down to see who it was his body relaxes and smiling at me.
"It is. It's one of the things I look forward to when Christmas comes to Grand Rapids, I love the Holiday feeling in the air" He pauses. "It's great to see you again Sam still look the Sam as usual" he chuckles.
"You don't look so bad yourself" Indicating his grown scruff.
He rubs his face laughing. "Yeah, I just thought about a change do you not like it?"
"No no I love it. It suits you in fact looks really good Jacob" I feel my face flush hearing the words coming out of my mouth. He simply grins at my compliment.
"So shall we head to the Cafe?" I say trying deflect what I said away from me.
Walking down the sidewalk to the cafe was beautiful. Jacob was talking about how wonderful the streets look this time of year, I couldn't agree more.
"Just wait to New years eve, they close down a few streets and have a stage built where local bands will come and play and sometimes maybe a pop star will come I guess the only down side to it is that the streets are packed and if you are driving traffic to get home is awful" He shakes his head.
"I can't wait to see it, so far I am impressed on how this city treats it's people."
"Yeah, we are like a community in some ways."
Reaching the west coast cafe took a bit longer then we thought given we stopped to hear local music artiest were playing on every street corner. We got a table in the far back. I put my coat on the back of the chair, so did Jacob. My mouth went slack jawed a bit seeing him in his long sleeve white shirt. The shirt hugged him in all the right places, his pecs defiantly have gotten much bigger and firm then the last time I saw him including his biceps. My eyes reached Jacob's. He was smiling. I was busted.
"Seeing what you like?" He jokes. Flexing his arm.
I turn my head laughing sitting down. "You have gotten bigger the last time I seen you.
He sits down his face growing a bit dark. "Well, coming out wasn't easy working out was the means of which to channel my emotions and well you can tell by the results" His face lightens up again he gets cocky and flex his whole body every muscles bulging.
I chuckle. "How did your parent's take it?"
He runs his hand across his face. "Mom was the first the first person I told and she just hugged and told me that she always knew. When I asked her how she just basically told that she just did a mother's intuition. She was so happy that I finally have learned who I really am and that she was sad that I had to live in a shell. A lie. At one point I would have been offended by that comment but instead she was right. Telling dad was another story. At dinner time mom took my hand and nodded to tell him and I did. He didn't say anything at first then he just got up to his feet and walked out of the room, later that night I heard mom and dad yelling, I could tell that dad wasn't happy to find out his only son is gay." He takes a deep shaky breath. "The next morning when mom left for work, dad came into my room and told me that if him and mom get a divorce that it will be all my fault that I turn our family apart for being a fag. Hearing those words broke my heart maybe he is right to this day mom and dad are at odds and I am the odd man out no matter how many times mom reassures me that everything is okay but I know it's not..." He chokes up on those final words.
His eyes redden. Tear's threatening to spill. I could feel his pain. I was lucky not to have a gay hating dad but the fear of possibly breaking your family apart because of being gay nearly overwhelmed me but Jacob was hurting...I reach my over the table and took his hand massive hand into mine covering it with the other.
Jacob's gaze goes down to my me touching his hand. "I am so sorry for what you went through, what you are going through. I can't imagine it. Your father should be proud to have a son who finally discovered who he really is like your mother is. I'll always be here Jacob if you ever need to talk or a shoulder to cry on I am here"
He managed a small smile. "Thank you Sam"
I stand up going around the table and gave him a big hug. He didn't return the hug right away probably shocked that I am even giving him a hug then he finally relaxed and wrapped his big arms around me pulling me tight against his body. The pleasure part of my brain was really excited to having Jacob holding me however, I quickly subdue the actions my brain was firing and letting go sitting back down in my chair.
Jacob ended buying my coffee despite my protest. Jacob is defiantly a different man then I had met in the begging of the year and I think it's for the best. Despite what his father been doing to him emotionally he seems much more happy, as if the dark cloud that he was living under was finally lifted and he was bathe in sunshine. I know he probably didn't tell Sarah what he did with me but I think that is for the best cause if that got out that could really be bad for not just him but me as well being outed as a gay whore and I really don't need that.
We drank our coffee and proceed to Rosa Park where the city ended up filling with ice to make a ice rink for the public. We took our time walking down to the rink, Jacob was telling me with excitement that a talent scout was watching him during his last few games including homecoming and that it's possible that if he plays well next season he could have a really great chance to get drafted into the NFL.
"Jacob this is big! God I am so proud of you! I really hope all your dream come true, the chances for someone to get drafted let alone have a scout tailing them is amazing. Just make sure you don't forget to invite me to the big parties" I laugh
He grins. "You bet I will Sam." He wraps his arm around my shoulder then letting go. For a split second I didn't want him to let go but the thought went away as fast as it came. We walked over to a small building where they were renting out skates and got a pair. We made our way down to the ice. I easily glided a few feet from the entrance when I got on the ice. Jacob was holding onto the railing unable to let go. I grin.
"Jacob are you okay?" I call out to him.
"Yeah, I forgot I am not really great skater i am built for running and tackling not grinding over ice." He counters.
I shake my head finding this really funny and I skate over to him. "look it's very easy come on take my hand" I say holding my hand for him.
He nods. He takes my hand and I bring up my other one up and he takes it. "Okay just slowly push one foot in front of the other and then you will build the momentum" He does it shaky and jerky at first but after fifteen minutes he begins to glide more smoothly across the ice. "See you are doing it...okay I am going to let go don't worry I am going to be right beside you the whole time."
As I watch Jacob looking down at the ice trying to keep his balance and stride that he manage to obtain when I was helping him. He seemed like a little kid again all the walls that were there were gone. I could feel my heart swell with joy at this but my mind was warning me to be careful on how close I get to him.
I come back to reality when I hear Jacob's voice calling out to me. "Sam...i'm losing my balance shit!" He yell slipping forward bringing me down with him. We both burst out in laughter as we lay on the ice.
"Well, that didn't go well as planned" I say. Rolling onto my stomach getting onto my knees standing up.
"No really? What gave that away?" He says sarcastically. I flick his head.
"Well, don't be a smart ass" I say getting up to my feet. Jacob turns over going onto knees sliding over to the railing slowly pulling himself up to his feet. He shakes his head smiling. "I think I had enough ice skating for tonight."
"Okay, maybe you are right I don't wanna end up losing a finger with your bad skating" i joke.
"Hey, don't be a bully Sam haha"
After dropping off the skates we went to Dave&busters. It turns out Jacob was in fact real competitive when it came to air hockey, little did he know I was too. We Bought the credits required for the game and the machine whirled alive pushing out the air. The puck came out of the hole on my side. I placed the puck on the table made a quick jab forward the puck was fast but Jacob was faster with a quick flick of his arm he deflected the puck it hit the side of the table and I reacted to slowly to block the puck and it sailed into my goal.
Jacob stood up straight with a big grin.
"Okay, Big guy I was just going easy on you. Let's see what you got pretty boy!" I boast.
He cracked his neck and bent over ready for the next shot. "Bring it on little man!" He smirks.
I grab the puck and hit it as hard as I could the puck bounced around the table and when the right moment came Jacob's arm shot hard and once again I was to slow to react and he scored again.
"I guess I am going to mopping the floor with your sorry butt" His lips curled a bit on one end. He was so confident. I was so happy for Jacob that he getting back into his element. Everything that he was emotionally suffering from his father was pushed away and it was just me, him, and the puck.
"We will see Jacob." I grin.
To my utter horror Jacob defeated me bad with him with twelve points and me with just one. My mind flashed back to the recent memory of how aggressive he became when I scored a point. I shake my head. laughing.
"You okay there bud?" Jacob bumping my arm.
"Oh yeah, I am fine just trying let you walk off the shame I just put you through" I blush looking up at him. My eyes starring right into his dazzling white smile.
"Oh yeah you sure did haha" He jokes.
We spent a couple more hours playing games racking up tickets together, after that we got our tickets counted at the prize shop we ended having enough for ping pong ball guns. We manage to make it to cold stone before they closed and got some ice cream and headed back to campus. Jacob followed me until I got to my dorm and walked me to my door.
"Sam thank you for hanging out with me I really needed this and to finally tell someone else aside my mom about everything is a huge relief." He cheerfully says.
"Jacob it was my pleasure, I know things are finally getting back to normal but I am always here for you Jake. Just call me and we can hang again sometime soon if you want."
Jacob's eyes lit up with anticipation and joy hearing my offer. "Yeah, maybe after Christmas we can see what we can do."
"Alright sounds like a plan" I reached up wrapping my arms around his thick muscled neck, his arms wrapped tight around me. When I pulled back our eyes connect, his eyes bore into mine and I soon felt my head leaning up to his as if an invisible rope was pulling me to him and he to was leaning in. Our lips were mere inches from each other when the door to my room opens, our connection was broken and we both quickly let go of each other and turned our heads seeing Becca there. Her mouth hanging open like a dead fish. Her eyes fell on me and I could see fire in them. I could tell she was pissed and that she was going to get after me but she held back knowing it's not the right place to say something.
"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to disturb you." She says awkwardly.
I clear my throat. "No your not Jacob was just walking me to my room."
She nods her head. "Well, I need to grab something from my car and I will be back up Sam so I will see you in five minutes." With that she passes between us and bounds downstairs. Oh boy i know I am going to hear it from her when she returns.
"So I will see you soon Sam thank you again" He says a sheepish look is on his face.
I blush. nodding.
"No problem Jacob I will see you later" I turn walking into my room closing the door. I turn leaning my back against it sinking to the ground. The biggest smile is on my face but I feel it fade knowing full well that I let my emotions get the best of me. I can't be hurt again...never again.....
To be continued....
I am sorry for not posting anything I have more free time so I will be writting more soon!"