Only In My Dreams

Does He Love Me...?

Friday, August 9th 2013. That was the date In which my mother, Amber died. According to the police reports, she was murdered. The thought of some man in my home, and taking my mother away from me made me angry, and depressed. 

Jamie understood what I was going through, and gave me space as I mourn her passing and carry on as best I can. Jamie said that I should take as long as necessary to help cope with losing her, and I would have continued to today, but I have work. I walked into the aquatics center with my swimming shorts on, and head for the pool area. I open the door, and head for the office to get what I need for the day. I slip off my shirt, and place it in my locker, and take out my red shirt that says "lifeguard" on the back in white letters. "Alec?" my boss, Michelle says from the doorway. "oh... Hello ma'am..." I said taking my  rescue tube off of the wall. 

"how many times have I told you not to call me ma'am? It makes me feel old." she laughed. "in all seriousness, I'm sorry about your mom, Alec." she said giving me a sad smile. I breathed in as I thought about her. I needed to stop, or else I'll cry right in front of my boss. "now, as head lifeguard, I need you to supervise the lifeguard drills today." she said handing me a clipboard. I nodded my head and took it as I slipped on my flip flops. As I head back to the pool area, all of the other lifeguards were standing there with their rescue tubes in hand. "alright, guys." I said looking at the clipboard. "I need two of you to swim to the other end of the pool. So, Tyler, and Adriana get going." I said taking out a stopwatch. They jump into the pool and swim to the other end. "Sandra and Jason, you're up." I said as I prep the watch. Hey step onto the edge of the pool, and get int the ready position. "go!" I shout as I press down on the stopwatch. "Lifeguard! Out of the way!" they both yell as they dive into the pool and swim towards Tyler and Adriana. "10 seconds!" I yell out as I record down the times for the pairing of Sandra and Jason. "they reach the end of the pool, and climb out with Tyler and Adriana. I watch intensely as they roll Tyler and Adriana over and begin mouth to mouth and CPR drills. "25 seconds! You're losing them!" I said as they quickened their pace. "TIME! both lives saved! Good job guys." I said as I record their numbers.

"Bobby, Gage, you're up."

* * *

After about an hour, the other lifeguards went home except for Bobby; he had a shift anyways, so he sat down in the other lifeguard chair as I sat near the one closest to the diving board. I watch as people walk in and dive into the pool. Most were just little kids, so their excitement levels are going to be through the roof. "no running please!" i say as one boy was running over to the diving board. He looked at me with an apologetic face, "sorry..." he said climbing the diving board. I watch as the kid does a full blown swan dive into the pool. It wasn't that bad for a little guy. all of a sudden, I see 3 guys that look around my age walk by the diving board as they argue amongst themselves. "hey, guys stop fighting!" I holler. "look what you did, you got us In trouble asshole!" one boy said as he pushed the other guy into the pool. "hey, you two! Get out! You're done!" I shout as I step off my chair. "HELP! I cant swi---" reacting quickly, I rip off my shirt, and sling the rescue tube strap over my chest. I kick off my flip flops and get ready to dive in. "OUT OF THE WAY!!" I scream as two girls swim out of my path. I dive in, and swim as fast as I can over to the struggling boy. His head was fully underwater, and I needed to act quickly. I pull over the rescue tube, put his shoulder blades over the top, and support his head as I swim over to the lip. "Bobby! Help me out here!" I scream as Bobby leaps from his chair and rushes over to my side of the pool. I climb out, as Bobby reaches into the water, and with my help, pulls the boy out. I put my ear to his chest, and listen for a heartbeat. It's not there. "he's not breathing! Bobby, I need an oxygen tank, and a defibrillator, ASAP!" I said as he jumps up and runs into the office, and runs back with a tank, and defibrillator, and places it by my side. I preform CPR, and mouth to mouth; no response yet. I press down on his chest; "1.... 2... 3.... 4... 5..." I counted as I wait for a response. Nothing. 

I rip off his shirt, and press the two paddles together, and charge the defibrillator. "clear!" I shout as people look on. I press the two buttons, and still no response. "300 jewels!" I said as Bobby powered it up. "charging..... Ready!" 

"clear!!" I press the two paddles to his skin, and his body jolted and twitched. Bobby checked for a pulse as I pray for a miracle. I roll the kid onto his side, and wait. He shook once again, and he spat out tons of water. He coughed and heaved as Bobby got on the phone with 911 for the EMTs to look the boy over one more time.

 I leaned against the wall as I try to collect my breath, still in shock that I had just saved someones life. I close my eyes, and take a drink from my water bottle. "great job, sweetie..." my mom whispered in my ear. I soon felt cold around my arm, but it was in the shape of a hand! Mom is here with me; I can feel her. I lifted my head up, and climbed to my feet. The EMTs left witch boy, and I sat back down in my chair. As I slouched down a bit, I let out a collective sigh of relief. 

After work, I met up with Jamie outside the aquatics center, and he wanted to take me out to dinner. As we strolled downtown, Looking for a place to eat, I feel s hand intertwine with mine. I look over and see Jamie smiling brightly. I blushed a little, but held just as tight as he did. "how was work?" he asked as we continued to walk downtown. "eventful..." I sighed as I look at the different places to eat. "you don't want to talk about it?" he asked looking at me with those comforting green eyes. "no... Maybe later..." I said still grasping his hand tightly. We found a small diner on the corner of Cedar and Market Street, and decide to go there. As we enter, I look over to my left and see Jackson and some girls sitting at a table. One was wrapped around him and feeling him up. I gotta say, even though I hate him with every fiber of my being, I can see why girls flock to him like white on rice. He's got the looks, the body, the fast car, everything. All I got is... Well nothing besides Jamie. 

Jackson spotted us and he got up quickly. "stay here, baby girl." he said glaring at me. I still couldn't help but get a little nervous. "hey faggot, Canuck..." he sneered as Jamie and I found a table to sit at. "get lost, Flintworth." Jamie hissed. Jackson just laughed. "pussies..." he said walking back to his table. "I hate him..." I whispered as an older waitress came over and handed us a menu. "is there anything you want, Alec? I'm buying..." Jamie said looking over the worn menu. "I'll just have a cheeseburger... Not that hungry right now...." I said as I crossed my arms and looked out the window. The waitress came back, and asked what we would like to have. I was too busy thinking about my mom, but I overheard Jamie tell her what I wanted. Sometimes, when I'm alone, I can hear her talk to me; I can hear her say my name. God, how I miss her...

Before I even realized it, our food was already here. I looked at the plate of food that sat I front of me, and ate a couple of french fries. "thinking about your mom?" Jamie asked as he scarfed down his dinner. "yeah..." I say in a low voice as I take a bite out of the burger. Out of nowhere, I think about our fourth of July disaster. God, you had to be there! I couldn't help but laugh. "what's so funny, babe?" Jamie asked as he chuckled a bit. 

"well... A few years ago, we had this get-together of sorts at my house, and my whole family came over. I was probably 14 when it happened, but my god, it was hilarious!!

"so, dad Is over cooking on the grill, and my older brother, Danny was probably 19, and he's doing all sorts of tricks on the motorcycle, when he falls off! My little cousin, Brittany runs into the house and screams DANNY'S DEAD!!" as loud as possible. My mom comes running out of the house with her first aid kit, and she accidentally stepped on the rake; sending it into dads nuts!

"I'm just standing there like an idiot while my brother is unconscious out in the middle of the street, and my dad will never have children again. So, I go over to Danny, and help him wake up as my mom tends to dad. 

"after that, the grill tipped over, setting the lawn partially on fire, so I run in and grab a hose and try to put it out, only to have my 80 year old grandmother carry the cake she made right in front of me. The cake goes into her face, and she falls down on her ass. Eventually, we got the fire out, and the fourth of July has never been the same." I explained as I nearly choked on my burger from laughing so hard. We soon finished our meals, and headed back home to his apartment. 

Once we arrived at his house, I couldn't help but feel safe. His apartment looked a lot like a hotel room, only not a hotel, if that makes any sense. I walked further into his apartment, and I found my clothes neatly stacked on a spare bed. I turn and see Jamie smile warmly. "this is your home now, Alec. I hope that's ok..." he said as his smile turned to a blush. I grabbed him, and pulled him into a tight hug; one I never want to end. I feel his hands tentatively glide over my back, as I nuzzle my head in his muscular chest. 

"you've helped me through so much, Jamie... I... I don't know how I'll ever repay you..." I said holding him a little looser. "I know how..." he whispered. I looked at him with confused eyes, and he smiled. "on your knees...." he whispered once again. I look at him again, and he guided me to my knees. I watch as he pulls out his dick, and strokes it a few times. "d-do I have to...?" I said looking up at him. "you said you wanted to repay me, this is how. This is the only way you can show me that you love me." he said holding onto the back of my head. He pushed me onto his dick, and it tasted foul. I felt my gag reflex kick in, and I tried to pull of only to be pushed further onto it. I felt Jamie shudder with delight as he makes me suck him. His cock was too big for me, and I started to cough. I could feel the head press against the back of my throat, as he moaned and groaned in ecstasy. I gently applied a little suction, and I got a bigger reaction from him: he started fucking my face. "oh, god...." he growled in ecstasy once again.  Felt him shake, and then two big squirts of cum flew down my throat. His cum was salty and tasteless. I cringe at the taste. He pulled out, kissed me, and walked into the bathroom to take a shower. 

Why did he have me do that, instead of something else...?

I soon discard my suspicions, and head into my room to get changed, and I notice there's only one bedroom. 

He wants me to sleep with him...?

He comes back in, and I see a big smile across his face as he leans against the doorframe. "man, that was some blowjob, Alec." he said as water droplets fell down his exposed chest and down towards his towel that was wrapped around his waist. "t-thanks..." I said taking off my shirt to get ready for bed. 

"I love you Jamie...."

Jamie smiled and gave me a kiss, "goodnight, Alec." he said as he holds me close to him.

He didn't say he loves me.....

* * *

At school, Jamie and I were now out, and most people are cool with it, but I've noticed that nobody wants to be around me if Jamie is here. It's really weird. After a few minutes, my iPhone rang; it was Jamie. 

"hello?"

"hey, where are you?"

"in biology. Why?" I asked a little perplexed as my new friend, Ryder laughed at a joke someone told him. 

"who are you sitting with?!" Jamie asked sounding annoyed. 

"just Ryder." I said innocently. 

"the new kid?! Move to an empty table!"

"why?!" I hear a collective sigh come from the other end of the line, "meet me in stairwell 5. Now!" he said hanging up the phone. 

What's with him?

"Mrs. Whitemore, can I use the bathroom?" I asked raising my hand. She handed me the hall pass, and I made my way to stairwell 5. I open the door, and there stood Jamie. He looked pissed.

"what's wrong, Jamie?" I asked confused.

"don't sit with anyone I don't know, got it!?" he said pointing at me angrily. "Jamie, you're freaking me--"

"JUST DO WHAT I SAY!!" he said grabbing me and pushing me into the wall. My breathing quickens, and my eyes widen; he just....! 

"do you hear me, Alec?!" he yelled once again as he squeezed my arm tighter. "ow! You're hurting me!" I whined as he slowly let go. I look at him as I rub my forearm and see him look at his hands, then back at me. "I'm sorry...." he said as I looked at him wide eyed.

"I should... Get back to class..." he said as he walked away. But, before he left, he looked back; "I'm sorry..." he said before heading downstairs and out of sight. I picked up my bag shakily, and headed back to class with quivering hands. I sat back in my seat, and Ryder notices the bruise Jamie left. "dude, are you ok?!" he asked worriedly. I covered the bruise with my sleeve. "I-I'm fine..."

"did... Jamie do that to you?"

"no!! I... I fell..." i said covering the bruises a little more. I felt a band on my shoulder; "if he's doing that to you, you need to end it, 'cause it'll only get worse from here." he advised as I looked back at my notebook. "it's none of your business, Ryder. So, stop butting in!" I yell as he backed down. 

"I'm just making sure you don't get hurt..." he said quietly.

I hope Ryder isn't right about Jamie.....