Hey guys, um... Quick note, I've decided to consolidate my 3 most popular stories I've written so far, and have them join together. It was a little confusing at first, but I think I've nailed it. Of course, we still have Alec and Bobby, with newcomers, Josh, and Dylan from "Dylan," my other series. And newcomers Ricky, and Rusty Matthews, the twins. Their story is called, "The Voice Within..." that will be posted at the same time as "Only in my Dreams." Josh and Dylan's story will be updated, and tied into the Compton setting soon. Hope you guys like it!

-J.V.

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After the funeral, I returned to school, and tried to retain a normal life, but with dad constantly trying to be involved in my life again, it brings back a lot of memories I don't want to re-live. But, just for the sake of the story; I might as well share what exactly happened that night... 

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April 15, 2009

I sat at the table with my mom and my big brother Danny, who was a little worried about me. I asked him and mom if I could talk to them when dad came home, and Danny thinks I'm getting beaten up, but I'm not. I just want to tell them that I think I'm gay, but I don't know how they will take it, so I'm a little nervous. Then, dad got home from work. "hey dad," I started with a hint of worry in my voice. "um... Can I talk to you?" I said looking at the table. I felt Danny sling an arm around my shoulder, and he held on tight. "what ever it is little bro, we will still be here for you, so just tell us; what's wrong?" Danny asked worriedly. Dad sat down at the table, and I took a deep breath in. "guys, this is so hard to say for me, and I know that you might not believe me, but I.... I think I'm gay." I whispered looking at the ground. The silence was so thick, you could cut it with a knife. "well.... If any guy hurts you in any way, I'll fucking kill him." Danny said as he gave me a hug. "thanks, Danny."

I looked to my father; his eyes glowed. "d-dad? Are y-you ok with me being gay?" I stuttered as my eyes grow with water. "you're not gay, Alec. Don't be ridiculous..." he laughed. I knew in my head that I was into other boys, there was no denying it. 

"The locker rooms were hell for me; all the boys were half naked, sometimes completely naked, and it is so hard not to look sometimes. I've tried to fight it, I've tried to prove it to myself that I wasn't, but these feelings kept coming back, and it's pointless to fight them." I explained. Dad smacked his hands on the table; scaring me a little, and leaned in towards me. "no son of mine is going to be some butt-loving, cock sucking faggot-ass bitch!" he screamed. "DAD, I'm sorry.... I can't cha-" 

"there's a program im sending you to. It'll hopefully cure you." he said pulling out his cell phone. I started to cry, and Danny rubbed my shoulder to try and soothe me. "dad, you're being a jerk. So what if Alec is gay, it's not like he's any different than he was yesterday." Danny said quietly trying to calm dad down. "shut up, or you are out of my house!" he hollered. Danny was quickly quiet. "Jack! You're overreacting!" mom yelled. Dad will have none of this, and he went upstairs to get something. He came back with a suitcase full of clothes. 

Is he....?

"dad? Where are you going?" I said through my sobs.  He shot me a disgusted look, and walked out the door. "IT'S ALL MY FAULT!!!" I ran up the stairs faster then ever before, and slammed the door shut. I let my tears flow like a river as I hear a faint knock at the door. "go away...." I said with a shaky voice, and wiping my tears. "Alec? Is me..." Danny said opening the door. I allowed him in, and he sat next to me; trying to console me. "it's not your fault, Alec... It's not your fault..." 

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Now back to the story....

I slip on my blue tinted goggles, take my position, and take a deep breath at the bang from the starting pistol echoed through the pool room. I launched into the water. Swimming as fast as I can, I take a quick glance at where everyone is, and keep my pace. I reach the over end, and kick back the other way. "LET'S GO, ALEC!!!" Bobby yelled from the stands. I couldn't help hut get a surge of confidence from that, and I raced even faster than before. I'm currently in second place; I got to be faster! This is the final lap! When I hit the other end of the pool, I shoot back the other way once again, and open up my hands and feet; giving me more speed. I shoot past the kid in front of me, and touch the wall. I win!! People jump as the 200m freestyle is ours! I climb out of the pool as water runs down my body, and I feel two hands grasp me, and hoist me up. I look down to see fellow teammate, Jack Nichols below me. "finally, after 17 years, the Compton sharks have won the 200m freestyle!" the announcer said. Just as Bobby came over, I looked into the stands, and saw a familiar face. My eyes grew wide, and my smile disappeared. My teammates put me down, and I walked over to Bobby. "congratulations!" he yelled happily. I couldn't take my eyes of of that face. The face of the guy I've grown to fear. Jamie. "yeah... Can we go home now? ...Please?" I pleaded. I see Jamie flash me an evil grin, and I turned away. I got dressed, and we made our way to the parking lot. I finally feel safe. I took his hand securely, and the quietness of the parking lot made me really nervous. I look to my left, and see headlights fast approaching us. "Bobby! Look out!" I yelled loudly. He saw the headlights, and he pushed me hard out of the way. I hear a thud, and a painful groan come from him. The person stepped out of the car as I ran over to Bobby. He was alive, but unconscious. I looked up, and stood over me was Jamie. I back away from Bobby, and trip ofer my own feet.  Try to crawl away, but he grabs my shirt collar. He brings me close to his face, and I can smell alcohol on his breath. "did you really think I wouldn't FIND you? Do you think I'm stupid?!" he said shaking me. "you never should have left me, Alec. NEVER!!" he yelled angrily. He pushed me on the ground, and I noticed another pair of headlights approach, then turn off. "if I can't have you, nobody can!" he said as he pulled something out. It was a gun! My eyes grew in fear as I look towards Bobby. He was still on the ground. I was so scared; I didn't know what to do. He pointed it at me, and I gasped in fear. "ALEC!!!!" I cook over, and so does Jamie. He raised the gun at the man, and the man pulls the trigger on his gun. I see Jamie fall to the ground in pain, and the man radioed for two ambulances. "are you ok, Alec?" he said holding out his hand. It was dad! He saved my life!

"ugh..." Bobby groans; I look over, and rush to him. "Bobby, are you alright?" I asked worriedly. He stood up slowly, and nodded. The ambulances soon arrived, and took Jamie to the hospital. They checked Bobby out, and it turned out he just has some bruises and scrapes. "y-you saved me..." I stuttered looking up at him. "you saved US." I corrected myself. "of course I did; you're my son... And he's your.... Boyfriend..." he struggled. I knew it was still new to him, so I don't blame him. I turn back to Bobby, and he still had that gorgeous smile on his face. He wrapped his right arm around my waist, and pulled me close. Dad awkwardly smiled, and turned away to go talk to a fellow officer. Bobby and I give our statements of what happened during the evening, and we soon head back home. I can't help but remember how wonderful These 3 weeks have been with Bobby. He's so sweet, good-looking, very smart, thoughtful, selfless and protective, what more could you ask for in a boyfriend? I'm just lucky he is mine. We soon got home, had dinner, and went to bed. 

I wonder what Josh and Dylan did over the weekend....

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I'm in such a good mood today. Not only am I happy about being out of the closet, but it's Bobby and is one month today! It seems like only yesterday when we first kissed at the aquatics canter. Ever since then, however, we've done a lot more than kiss. *wink wink.* I soon met up with Michael, Natasha, and Mason and headed to class. The five of us, including Dylan, and Josh, but Dylan is sick, and Josh stayed home with him to make him feel better, have been getting along great, and I'm no longer afraid of people judging me, because I know that these guys will never leave me. "so what did you guys do over the weekend?" I asked as I closed my locker door. "well, Mike and I had some alone time..." Natasha joked. "best 30 seconds of my life." she added. "c'mon! I'm not THAT early!" Michael joked as he kissed her forehead. "o...k...? What about you, Mason?" I chuckled. "well..." he said blushing. "you could say that Chris and I had to squeeze into a tight parking spot last night..." he said blushing some more. "jeez... Horn-dog..." I laughed. "did you get lucky last night, Alec?" Michael asked. "far from lucky; Jamie came back..." I said looking at the floor. All went silent. "are you alright?" Mason asked politely as I sat down leaning up against the wall. The others joined me. "yeah, but Bobby pushed me out of the way of his car, and took the hit..." I said crying slightly. Mason hugged me from the side, and I rested my head on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry..." he whispered. "I just want to go home and see him. Thank god he isn't in the hospital..." I said wiping my tears, and sitting up straight. "I'm glad he's ok too, he's a fucking stud!" Natasha announced. At least she has a sense of humor, so I took no offense to the remark; I thought it was clever, and well-timed. 

"by the way, has anyone met the new quarterback for the football team? His name Is Ricky, and he is smokin' hot!" she added. "I'm standing right here, you know..." Michael said with a touch of hurt in his voice. "oh, don't worry about it, Baby. I'm not gonna sleep with him! I only eat one kind of sausage, so keep your boxers on!" she said punching him lightly in the shoulder. She was more of a man than Michael was, and she was Hilarious! 

We were soon interrupted by the fire alarm, and I saw thick black smoke pouring from a trash can. "holy crap! The walls were burning too, and so was the ceiling! We all made our way outside, and I saw two boys, that were twins, run out too. One was crying, the other was holding onto him. He must be scared out of his mind...

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Once the fire department determined that there was no structural damage of the school, and no toxic fumes in the air, we were allowed back in for one more class, then we could go home so the clean up crews could fix it up. 

We soon went our separate ways, and I headed to class. I walked down the ugly green walls, and saw the same two guys sitting on a bench. One was crying, and the other was trying to console him. They looked like the twins i saw earlier. But, I didn't know what was going on, so I just kept waking by.

I hope this boy is ok....

 

Josh Volland

[email protected]

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