One Last Time

Call me Ishmael. I know that sounds familiar. Well, it should. It's the opening line of Melville's classic novel, Moby Dick. The unfortunate truth is that Ishmael is my real name. My mother was a big fan of Moby, and I think my father was too, but secretly. Anyway, call me Ishmael, if you want to, but everyone else calls me Sam. That doesn't tell you much about me, so let me tell you all you need to know, and I am willing to share it all.

My story starts some time ago, when I was thirty-one years young. I worked out regularly in those days, and I kept my body hard and in excellent shape. I am a gay man with a five inch, flaccid, uncut cock. It exceeds eight, hefty inches when I am aroused, which is quite often. I am five feet, eleven inches tall. My hair is an unattractive, extremely dark brown. It is straight, and I wear it cut to a little below my ears. I think that gives me a more youthful look. None of this has changed in all the years that have since passed, except that there are flecks of grey in my hair these days.

I taught history at the State University then, and I must admit that I broke every rule in the book. That is to say, I had sexual contact with many of my male students. Come to think of it, I'm not sure there were any rules in the book about that, so why shouldn't I fuck a willing student? In addition to my body stats, I have been told that I am very handsome. I have never come on to a student. I didn't hide my sexual orientation, and sooner or later, those I did sleep with, all came on to me. My eyes are a clear, bright blue, and they are accented by my eyelashes, which are very dark. I am always complimented on how beautiful my eyes are. My straight nose is neither large nor small. It is just the right size for my face. It may be the only thing about me that is straight. My jaw is square, and very manly, and speaking of manly, there is nothing feminine about me.

One of my students once gave me an expensive cologne for Christmas. I wore it when classes resumed after the winter break, and it must have been like an aphrodisiac. I loved the smell of it, and apparently so did all my admirers. My sex life that semester was fantastic.

About a year and a half before my story begins, on the first day of classes, I met Adam. He was an entering freshman, and I had the pleasure of his company in my class on medieval history. When he entered the room, our eyes met, and we both knew that there was a lot of interest flowing between us. It's strange that I should reveal that, because during those first moments, neither of us knew that the other was gay.

By the end of the first week, Adam chatted with me for a few minutes after class every day. At the end of week three, I invited him to my apartment for afternoon tea, and to discuss medieval history. Of course, he accepted with pleasure. We never had tea, at least not that day. Five minutes after he entered my apartment, we were naked in bed together and kissing passionately. After that bit of foreplay, we began a lusty game of sixty-nine. Neither of us held back cumming. We both knew that this was not a one-time encounter. Adam came first, and while he was in the throes of passion, he had to stop sucking me. When he resumed, I had lost something of my arousal, but not to worry, he brought me back to where we were quickly enough. Happily we were both swallowers. It annoys the hell out of me that porn stars have to withdraw, to convince the viewers that they came. I'd prefer to believe they came in places sight unseen. I'd swear to believe them.

After that, we made love every opportunity we could, interrupted only by winter and spring breaks. Adam was not in any of my classes during his upper freshman semester, but we continued our affair until spring break. When he returned to the University, I didn't hear from him, and when I called, he informed me that he was too busy with his studies to see me. I was devastated.

You see, from the moment I met Adam, I fell in love with him. I never once, even from the get-go, had sex with him. I made love to him. I brushed off the obvious advances of other male students, because he was the only one I wanted to be with. When he cut me off after spring break, I was crushed. I actually went into a deep depression. The two of us did not see each other again for almost a year. During that time, I accepted my loss, and tried to move on, but I couldn't get enthusiastic about anyone else. I had sex, but I never made love.

Then, on the night before spring break a year later, my doorbell rang. My first thought was that it was a student seeking the kind of mature sex I was capable of giving. I opened the door with a smile, ready to say, "Not tonight," but my jaw dropped open. There stood Adam in the doorway. He was stone faced. There was not even a smile on his beautiful countenance. After an uncomfortable silence, I asked him to come in.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" I asked somewhat coldly.

"I was packing to go home for spring break, and I ran across this book. It's one I borrowed from you. I had forgotten about it, so I thought I should return it."

"Thanks, but why come here? You could have left it at my office at the school."

"I could have," Adam muttered.

I could sense that he wanted to talk. He was making no move to leave.

"Would you like some tea before you leave?" I asked.

I didn't want him to leave at all, but I had to learn what he had in mind. I had successfully put him behind me, and now all my love, my desires, yes, my lust, came rushing to my brain, and to my groin. I wanted to grab him and kiss him, and never let him go, but of course, I restrained myself.

"Yes," he croaked, "I'd like that."

I took his hand, and led him into the kitchen. When I touched him, I grew faint. It took all my strength to remain upright. We sat in silence while I brewed the tea, and defrosted some scones, which I always kept in the freezer. I suppose that goes back to my British ancestry. I put butter and jam on the table. Finally, I could stand it no longer.

"Why did you stop coming around? Why didn't you answer my calls?" I asked suddenly. I know my questions startled him. "More to the point, why are you here now?"

He collected his thoughts, and trying not to look me in my eyes, he said, "When I went home for spring break last year, I met someone. He lives nearby me, and he's about my age. He didn't go to college, but his father owns a chain of hardware stores in our city, which Nathan will inherit. His father is old enough to be his grandfather, and he's retiring soon. I'm madly in love with him, Sam, so in love that I came out to my parents, and Nathan is staying with me during this spring break."

I sighed. Maybe I sobbed a little. "Did you know that I fell in love with you? I saw us being together for a lifetime. You shattered my dream," I said accusingly.

"I was never sure how you felt. You never said anything. Anyway, we can't put restraints on who we fall in love with, can we?"

"No," I mumbled, "we can't."

The tea kettle started to whistle, and I poured the tea.

"That answers why you stopped seeing me," I said rather coldly. "I still don't know why you are here now."

"I told you. I came to return a book I borrowed from you."

"So you said, but somehow I find that to be a very flimsy reason."

Adam looked hurt. He jumped up. "I'd better leave," he screamed at me.

I jumped up also, and grabbed his arm. Once again, I grew faint just touching him. "Please," I said, "don't leave. I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry. Just visit with me a little while before you have to leave. I can't tell how good it is to see you again."

We were standing facing each other, staring into each other's eyes. Adam looked confused, not knowing what to do. We just stood there staring at each other, until I lost all my resolve. I placed my hand behind his head and placed my lips on his. My lips parted and my tongue snaked out. I feared that this is where Adam would bolt out, but he didn't, and then I felt it. His tongue was reaching out to mine, tickling it, and caressing it lovingly. It took all my will power not to cry.

"One more time?" I pleaded.

He nodded, and turned toward the bedroom. "Thank you," I mumbled. I grabbed his hand, and literally pulled him into the bedroom. Once there, I undressed rapidly. He didn't move.

"One more time?" I begged again. He nodded and smiled. "Please?" I sobbed.

Finally he stripped, and I saw his beautiful body once again. It had been so long since I had gazed upon him that I could only stand in awe and wonder. I walked all around him, and scanned every inch of him, trying to see if any part of him had changed in a year. The only obvious change was that he was shaved clean. His pubic area was as smooth as the proverbial baby's ass. His chest, arms and legs were also shaved. I examined his ass hole. It had always been rather hairless, but now it too was shaved smooth.

Adam began to blush. "What are you looking for? I'm healthy, if you're trying to determine anything," he laughed. "Nathan likes us both to be clean shaven." He felt it necessary to explain his hairless body.

"I was just gazing at how beautiful you are. If this is our last time together, I want to etch you into my memory. You'll never grow older to me, you know."

I'm sure I was embarrassing him. He looked uncomfortable, so I grabbed him and resumed kissing him. I floated on air, when he started to fondle my stiff rod. I reached down, and I did as much for him. He pulled me toward the bed, and he fell on his back, spreading his legs slightly.

I lay down gently on top of him in a sixty-nine position. Cautiously, I swabbed my tongue over his piss slit. It was full of pre-cum and I savored the taste of it. Suddenly his cock stiffened, and his balls began to shrink. I pulled away. It struck me that he hadn't been home for a while. If he was true to Nathan, he would be very horny.

I twisted around to face him once again. We resumed kissing and fondling, until I could hold back no longer. I'm going to suck your cock," I advised him, "and when it's good and hard, I want you to fuck me. I need for it to be meaningful. Would you be willing to fuck me without protection, and without lube?"

He smiled at me. "Did you forget that we never used protection? Now lube is another story. We always greased up excessively, but if you want me to go in dry, that's what you'll get."

I slithered down his body, taking plenty of time. I swathed his ears, his neck, his nipples, his innie, and I came slowly to rest on his clean shaven pubic area. I was amazed that I didn't even feel any stubble. I could only conclude that Adam had planned for this to happen, and had shaved shortly before he came here. From the smell of him, he had showered a short time ago also. It was a treat to me to tongue his hairless pubes. Finally I took him, but I did that very slowly. I licked up and down the shaft of his cock, pushing back his foreskin with my tongue. When he was free of the sheath, I began to bathe his glans with my busy tongue. Now Adam was moaning and writhing.

"Suck it, please," he begged, and I did, but not for long. I felt his orgasm growing as his balls grew hard. I stopped sucking, and I straddled him. I sat down on his very ample cock, pushing it up my asshole. The pain was awful, but I was in paradise. I sat still for a short time, and the pain left me. I started pumping up and down. I hadn't douched or anything, but I felt that his cock was being lubricated, in spite of the fact that I hadn't applied any grease. I thought perhaps it was my feces that was lubricating Adam's stroking cock. Well, if it was, fuck it. It was our last time, so he couldn't threaten to cut me off based on hygiene. As soon as I had that thought, I could smell a faint aroma of shit. It only turned me on more, and Adam's moaning and twisting was increasing. At last he thrust upward, but not down, and he came wailing and groaning with joy. I could feel gravity causing his cum to run out of my ass hole.

After he came, he was as silent as a tomb. It was I who yelled, "I love you, Adam."

I felt his body stiffen, and once again I had the crazy thought that he would bolt, but he didn't. Instead he said, "Get off me, Sam, and lie on your back." I did as he requested. My former student, didn't spend time going over my body as I had done to him. He went straight for my throbbing, very aroused, cock. I knew I would not be able to contain my orgasm, and as wonderful as I felt at the moment, I feared that if I came now, I would be unable to fuck him this night, and it was our last time. I came, but there was no joy. I cried, knowing that I might never again see the man I loved.

 **********

Spring break came and went. It was time for final exams, and all I could think about was Adam. I finally gave into my foolish heart, and I called him. I had to thank God that he didn't hang up on me. In fact, he was quite cordial. He knew how obsessed I was with him, so maybe he was just being kind.

"I just wanted to find out how you're doing, and ask if you enjoyed your vacation," I literally stuttered. I was acting like a shy high school boy, and I was ashamed of myself.

"I'm fine," he answered without further embellishment. "It was wonderful to be home, and spend some time with Nathan," he added, as his knife went through my belly. "Oh," he said lightening the tone of our conversation. "Nathan gave me a summer job in one of his stores. It's not the one he works in. We thought that would be too distracting."

"That's very nice," I said blandly. Then there was silence, a silence that lasted too long. Finally I asked, "I don't suppose we could have dinner or something together before you go home for the summer?"

"I really don't think that's a very good idea," he said. "I'm true to Nathan, and you are too much temptation."

I was shocked. He had just admitted that I was temptation, and that meant I could tempt him to make love to me. My elation was short lived, when he said, "I really would prefer that we don't see each other again. Goodbye, Sam." He disconnected us.

It was difficult at first, but little by little I became more and more successful at putting Adam out of my mind. I returned to my wanton one night stands. Much to my delight, it seemed that each semester the students got better and better looking. I even connected with more than a handful of straight students, who wanted to experiment. My good looks seemed to be a magnet to their desire to see what all the fuss was about. I never disappointed any of them, but I could not make a single convert. They were born that way, straight, that is.

Nearly ten years passed, and I still could not find that one special person to make a life with. That person had deserted me.

 **********

I have a sister, who married another college professor. He teaches physics at UCLA. As summer vacation was about to begin in the tenth year since I had seen and made love to Adam, they invited me to spend some time with them and their children in Los Angeles. I had never been west of the Mississippi, and I gladly accepted. From what I had heard, I knew I would get plenty of action in L.A. At forty-one, I still had what it takes to score.

I decided to drive to L.A., and see some of our beautiful country up close and personal. I consulted with a specialist at the AAA, and he laid out a route for me, which was not direct, but which would cover all the major cities and landmarks along the way. I started out on a lovely Friday morning. When I stopped for lunch my first day on the road, I studied the tryptic. It had me staying overnight in a large city, just a few miles from the adjoining state line. It hit me hard, when I realized the city was where Adam had lived when he was a student. He said that Nathan was a well-established business man there, so I presumed that they still lived there.

I wondered if I would have the guts to call Adam and tell him that I was just passing through, and I would love to see him. After all ten years had passed. He certainly could not believe that I continued to pine for him every day, and that I still compared him favorably to my fuck buddies, when I was having sex. I pulled out my cell phone, and I asked information for his number. I would have asked for Nathan's also, but I had never gotten his last name. I guess down deep inside, I hoped they were no longer together.

About six in the evening, I was about a half hour from the city, and from my pre-booked hotel. I figured that Adam would be home from work by then. I pulled into the next rest area, screwed up my courage and called. I was grateful that he answered the phone and not Nathan. His voice hadn't changed a bit. It was as sexy as ever, when he said, "Hello."

"Adam?" I asked.

"Yes."

I was determined to be upbeat, and to sound as happy as possible. "It's a blast from the past," I answered without identifying myself......yet. Imagine my shock and utter joy when he yelled out, "Sam, it's you."

"How in the world did you know my voice after all these years?"

"I've got caller ID, dufus." I was immediately deflated, but he added. "Besides that, I would have known your voice anywhere, anytime." My joy returned tenfold. "Where are you?" he asked. I could detect a bit of anticipation in his question.

"I'm about a half hour away from a Ramada Inn, on Carlton Avenue. Is it far from you? I'm just passing through on my way to California. I'll only be here tonight. I sure would love to see you? Have you had dinner yet? Maybe we could have a meal together?" I rambled on and on.

"You sure ask a lot of questions," he laughed. "I'd love to see you. I live about twenty minutes from the hotel. I'll be waiting in the lobby for you. We'll have dinner together. There's a great restaurant in the neighborhood. I can't wait to see you."

After I hung up, I was angry at myself, that I didn't ask if Nathan was coming along. I would prefer to see Adam alone, but I knew I would have to settle for a manly hug and chastity, so what did I care about Nathan. I laughed to myself. Unless of course, Nathan was into threesomes.

Sure enough, Adam was in the lobby when I came in with my overnight bag. I expected a handshake, so imagine how delighted I was to get a bear hug, and a kiss on the lips. I pulled reluctantly away.

"You look like a million bucks," I said, and I meant it. Adam still looked like a college boy. He didn't seem to have aged at all.

"You look great also," he informed me. You haven't aged a day." I laughed inwardly. We were both having similar thoughts.

"Let me check in and wash up," I said very business-like. I didn't want Adam to know how I longed for him. "Then we can go to dinner."

When we entered my room, I headed for the bathroom, but Adam grabbed my arm. He spun me around and started kissing me. All pretense was gone. His tongue was probing for mine, and I willingly offered it to him.

"What's happening?" I asked. I hardly dared hope it was what I was thinking.

He didn't answer my question directly. All he said was, "I also know an all-night diner with excellent food. How about making love to me, and we can eat afterwards. That is, if we still feel like it."

Our cheeks were touching. "You're crying," he said.

"Yes, you big oaf. What did you expect? Of course, I'll make love to you, but I've got to pee and shower first. I've been driving all day."

"Can I shower with you?" he smiled.

"Didn't they teach you anything at that college you went to? It's may I, and yes, you may." Adam stripped rapidly, and I was pleased to see that he had allowed his body hair to grow back in all the right places.

In the shower we agreed to suck and fuck each other. We were too excited for foreplay. I suggested to Adam that after dinner, we do it right. He agreed. When I fell to my knees, and took his cock into my mouth, I was reminded of how good he tasted, and when I felt his balls shrink, I soaped his cock with lots of soap, and he entered me. He came quickly, and then it was my turn. When we were both satisfied, we fell into each other's arms and both of us cried like babies.

After we dressed, Adam decided on the all-night diner where we wouldn't be rushed. The restaurant would be closing in an hour. After we were seated, we finally had time to talk.

"Are you with anyone?" he asked.

"No, you spoiled me for anyone else. Where's Nathan?" I demanded to know.

"We split about five years ago."

I was very surprised, but managed to ask, "What happened? I thought you guys had the love affair of the century going on."

"I had the same problem you had. You spoiled me for anyone else, including Nathan. Every time we had sex, I called out your name several times. At first Nathan laughed at me, but when I was still doing it after five years, he sat me down, and we had a long talk. He was wise and kind. He pointed out to me that there was no passion in our love making. Sure we had sex, but we never made love. Also it was obvious to him that I still loved you, since I always called your name when I climaxed, instead of his. We split up amicably. We could both afford to live well separately. He owns a chain of hardware stores, and I'm the city's chief engineer and urban planner."

"Why didn't you call me, when you split?" I asked.

"I figured you might be involved with someone, and I didn't want to disrupt your life."

"So now that we know how much we both love each other, what happens tomorrow?"

Adam started to cry. "This time you leave me," he sobbed.

"Never," I stated emphatically.

The next day was Saturday. Adam didn't have to go to work, so he spent the night with me. We didn't get more than an hour of sleep. We fucked each other twice, and sucked our cocks constantly, even when we couldn't get it up anymore. I checked out in the morning, and we went to Adam's apartment.

Much to my sister's chagrin, I never got to California that summer. I spent it with Adam. I never got back to State either. There was no university in Adam's city, but there were three branches of the state's community colleges. I had no trouble getting a job teaching history at one of the colleges. After all I had a PhD, and a long history of teaching at the university.

We were separated for one week. After I got my new job, I went back home to pack up my apartment. I took my personal belongings, and what stuff I thought we could integrate into his apartment. I gave the rest to an AIDS charity. I couldn't be bothered with tag sales.

Once settled into Adam's apartment, we made love every chance we got. After a while, of course, we established a very domestic routine, and slowed down a little bit. Every day I ask myself how I got so lucky, and how did love find a way to bring us back together.