I was confused, him? What happened? I searched for my mom and I saw her being cuffed and read her 'rights'. I went over to her and grabbed at her.
'Mom.... No, why are you being arrested. It's his fault you did nothing wrong.' I yelled tears coming down my face.
'I know honey, I know. Ill explain later. I need you to be strong right now, i'm going to call my lawyer and have you go stay with someone'
'Ms. Richardson, I'm sure I'm mom wouldn't mind if Kevin stayed with us....' I heard Danny say behind me, I looked at him and saw him look away not looking directly at me.
'I don't want to bother your mother Danny'
'It'd be no bother miss, promise' he said.
I couldn't wrap my head around it, how is he dead? What did my mom do to him? Is it really over, or has it just begun?
'Alright Danny, ill find a way to communicate with your mother. Tell her thanks for so much'
The cop pushed my mother inside the back seat. I stared at her; she had a blank expression on her face. Now was when I noticed her blood stained clothes. She really did it, she killed him, and well he fucking deserved it. News reporters were starting to flood the area. The cops had set up the police line to keep them back. They saw me and started flooding my head with questions. The police tried to hold them back.
Why did your mom do this? Is your mom crazy? Has she hurt you? Did you see what happened? All coming from different faces, all asking the same questions I have yet to be answered. A police officer came up to me and Danny and ushered us into the back of his police car.
'Your mother was a friend of mines son, I know... she wouldn't have done this without reason' I could see he was at a lost for words, what would you say to a kid whose mother just murdered his father.
I only nodded. 'She asked me to take you to err, your friend's house. Son where do you live?' he said looking at Danny in the rearview mirror.
Danny gave him the directions and we drove off, I stared at the flashing lights, and reporters crowding the car trying to get a picture of the poor helpless boy. I felt numb.
We arrived back to Danny's house and knocked on the door; Danny's mom opened the door and looked relieved.
'Mijo are you okay? Come here' she gave him a tight hug.
'Err Miss, ms. Richardson said that you would take this gentleman into your home until further specifications were administered. If this is a problem we'll take him into a foster home'
I felt my eyes wide but then I went numb again. Everything was so confusing in my head. It hurt.
'No of course he can stay with me' she said extending her hand towards me. 'Is that okay with you Kevin? Do you want to stay here until things are.... settled' I nodded.
'Okay boys um can you go up to Danny's room, please.' Me and Danny walked up to his room. I head his mom giving the officer her contact information and what time she'll be able to pass by the house and pick up some clothes.
I got up to the room and sat on Danny's bed. I just sat there and stared at the floor. I felt Danny undress me down to my boxers and slid on one of his shorts and white t-shirts. He pulled me up and under the covers while I drifted off to sleep.
I woke up screaming and crying, I had dreamt that it had been my mother who I found in that body bag, I heard my fathers laughter in my dreams, his face appeared slurring every negative comment and name out there. 'Fag, homo, stupid, piece-of-shit, worthless, idiot, dumb. It's your fault she's dead, she was protecting you. You should've died, why are you still alive, your mom should've aborted you' I started crying and screaming for my mom but I was in total darkness, nothingness around me. And then I wake up and I'm crying and sobbing next to Danny. He's awake now, and starts hugging me saying it was all a dream, he can't touch me anymore, he can't hurt me.
But it's a lie, even now; beyond his grave he's still hurting me. Every bad thought originated from him, he is the face of evil, and he is the devil. He didn't deserve to live. It's been two weeks since he died. I've been staying with Danny; I told him and his parents everything. About the beating, the verbal abuse me and my mother underwent, how she didn't want me to say anything to anyone. How it's not her fault, she only did what she did to protect me from him. They were very understanding, and they invited me to stay with them until the court hearings and trials were over, they were very optimistic that my mom would have to be let go for acting out of self defense and out of defending me, which just confirmed my dreams thoughts, it's my fault she's in jail, everything is my fault.
Danny understood why I didn't say anything to him, he didn't blame me. He being such a light sleeper has him up with me every time I'm woken up by the nightmares. I told him what I was dreaming about and the sad look that came over his face made me feel like shit.
I hate being a burden to others, I hate being made a fuss over. Danny's parents talk in hushed voices as to not bother me. People stared at me when I would go out to walk with Danny, and whisper and point.
I talked to my mother recently. She explained how he came home drunk that night, how he was slurring his speech and dragging his feet. She did what he asked but he still tried to smack her limply. She couldn't stand being next to him, so she left the room, she had a couple sips of wine, and heard him call for her, and she got up and felt a little uneasy. She must have drunk more than she thought. She got up slower this time and took in some deep breaths. She heard him call for her again a little louder this time. She walked up the stairs and looked for him where she'd left him in their bedroom. He wasn't there; he had gotten up and was in his office. It was mostly papers of bills, and things that had no real value.
'Bitch start me up a fire, it's chilly' he slurred to her. She said nothing and started. He knocked over a pile of papers that were stacked on his desk. 'Fuck look what you made me do you little cunt, clean this up'
'Okay ill get right on it' she said she started picking it up and he struck her in the head with his fists. She yelled out in pain, he grabbed her by the collar of her shirt and pushed her back. 'What did I do?'
'I told you set up the fire place right?! Its cold in here, get on it' he sat down on his chair and put his head on the table.
I grabbed the fire poker, and swung it down aiming at his head. I missed the first blow, and hit his shoulder. He screamed out in pain and got up trying to defend himself but he was beyond drunk, he couldn't even tell where I was. He ended up facing the opposite way facing the wall behind him swinging his arms trying to hit no one. This time I grabbed the fire poker in both hands and swung fully into the back of his skull. He fell down but I didn't stop swinging. I was seeing red and I didn't stop till I tired myself out. When I realized what I had down I called the police and turned myself in. the only reason they're having trials is to show whether my mom acted out of vengeance or self defense.
Everyone was careful around me as if I was so fragile I could break at any moment. I'm not as numb as before, but most of my emotions range from sadness, to anger that they're taking his side over hers, to annoyance how everyone is treating me, I just want this to go away.
'Hey Kevin how you feeling?' Danny said walking in.
'I'm fineeee Danny, stop worrying please; you guys are suffocating me with sympathy'
'Kevin don't be like that I don't know how to act, what to say even'
'You don't have to say anything, just be you'
'Kay, so what you want to do kevyy' it was my nickname he use to tease me with cause this gay guy I didn't like always called me that. It made me giggle.
I stuck my tongue out at him. 'Hmm video games? Movies? Or TV?'
'Well I know you like movies so how about a horror?' he said with a smile on his face.
'Great' I said with a genuine smile.
My friendship with Danny has gotten so much better, I spend my whole day with him, and I hope I'm not annoying him. I should thank him for everything he's been doing for me. Every night I wake up crying he holds me and comforts me back to sleep. I feel guilty for that, and burdening his parents with my presence. I love this family; they're so kept together and happy. I wish my parents could have gotten along like his do. I guess i'm a little jealous.
I'm here lying in bed with my best friend when I become very aware i'm only in my boxers and I'm cuddling with him. Shit I tried to not make it obvious that I backed away from him but he gave me a weird look like he was confused. I over think things way too much.....
'Uh I got to go to the bathroom real quick' I said stepping out of bed with a semi hard on, I made sure to have this hidden from his sight; I quickly pulled on some shorts and a long sleeve. I'm sure he hasn't noticed the scars. I look at myself in the bathroom and I look like shit I turn on the water and splash water on my face and run some through my hair to get out all the cow licks. Then I pull up my sleeves and I stare at my wrists. The scars are healing up; Danny saw them once and stared at my face without saying a word. I swear I saw his eyes tear up but I'm not sure because I walked out as fast as I could. I tried my best to hide them when I could. I quickly brushed my teeth since I didn't want to have bad breath around him.
When I walk in I hear Danny say 'boy that was quick' in a sarcastic tone.
'Shut up' I say giggling and hitting him with a pillow. He smiles but then his eyes drop to my covered up wrists. Crap he thinks I was cutting again. I slid in the bed next to him but not as close as before. I'm in a seated position staring at the screen but not really paying attention. I see a really gory scene, but this doesn't scare me, my nightmares are the really bad scene.
I didn't hear him talking to me. 'Huh'
'I said the movies done; want to watch another one or you want to go to sleep?'
'How about another one till I fall asleep? Unless you're tired and want to go to sleep now?'
'Nah its fine. Another horror?'
'Umm no, please?'
'Sure, sorry, whatever you want' he said quickly.
'Anything really just no gore'
We ended up choosing a comedy that he wanted to see and one that I didn't care for; I was slowing drifting off to sleep when the movie ended.
'Good night Kevin' he said giving me this smile that made the hair on my arms stand.
'Good night Danny' I said nonchalantly. It hard loving someone and having to act like they mean nothing more to you then 'just friends'.
I was slowly falling asleep when I felt Danny wrap his arm around me. I started smiling. I was starting to feel safe again, I wasn't waking up that much during the night, and the dreams weren't as bad.
'Thanks for everything Danny, really it means a lot'
'More than happy to help'
I leaned into his hug more and fell asleep with my head buried in his chest. I think i'm getting to comfortable with him.
I woke up in with the sunlight shinning bright in through the curtains. The smell of bacon and eggs and French toast came from downstairs. I went down to find Danny finishing up breakfast on a platter.
'Awe I was going to go take it up to you in bed and surprise you'
'Wow it looks great, what's the occasion' I said smiling but still skeptical.
'Your birthday of course'
I looked at the calendar on the refrigerator and he was right. Today was my birthday I turned 17 today.