The door swung open after a good nudge and there he stood, Edgar, that pompous, arrogant prick of a brother. His hair finely combed and parted to hide a slowly, receding hairline. Behind his gold frame glasses were brown eyes that hadn’t lost their sparkle although years of stress had taken their toll and left a road map of worries on his face. He was still cute though, Eric thought. His little brother was so tired he now looked like the older one but he had done alright for himself and he wasn’t trying to hide it in his fancy shiny suit and the gemstone cufflinks.
Hiding behind Edgar, shrouded in a cloud of soft cologne was a ghost from the past. Edgar’s son could have stepped right out of Eric’s memories and dreams. He was his father, eighteen years ago. Naïve, pure and a glint of adventure in his eye that would get him in the same kind of trouble as his father.
Eric was staring at his brother, before and after. There were things he had done to Edgar when they were young men with raging hormones; things he couldn’t take back. The years had wiped away the guilt and most of the resentment but seeing little Nathan brought back demons Eric had hoped never to see again.
“Long time, no see- no hear,” Edgar said graciously, a smile lit his face revealing shiny white pearls behind his soft pink lips.
“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea,” Eric grumbled. His eyes were locked on little Nathan. His brown locks of hair, floating freely in the summer breeze. He had a thin film of sweat on his smooth, taut forehead. That youth of young men, that “untouchedness” of it all. He was his own father and Eric knew as he looked, entranced in that young man’s worried, restless eyes, that he wouldn’t be able to control himself.
The hands of time had turned back, on one hand time had healed his relationship with his younger brother but on the other it had taken them back many summers back. Back to hairless, quivering virgin holes. To stolen glances. To big brother, little brother. To please be gentle it’s my first time. Eric could still feel his brother’s juicy lips licking at his dick with curiosity, peeking up at him behind his dick to make sure he was pleasing his big brother.
Time had healed wounds, but time had brought back his brother’s virginity. Almost two decades had passed and he thought he would never feel his brother’s young body, trembling under his strength. His little neck, hairless chin and the cute brown bush around his pink dick. All those years ago, they had played and fucked when Mom and Dad were out but when Edgar finally left for college and never called or visited again, Eric grew to resent his brother deeply.
Edgar had married almost immediately. A good girl. But not so good that she couldn’t get herself knocked up by the gayest man in town. Their lives had parted like two paths. One going up to a fertile horizon while Eric’s led to a wasteland. A wasteland of lost kisses, longing and memories that grew blurrier and watered down with each day.
He’d been the bigger brother but Edgar had always taken care of him. When the dark heaviness came, he was there, offering his body for Big Brother to pound and make him feel like a man again. It left them both with a sour taste in their mouth but man, Eric would never find an ass so hungry and willing to take his juice at his every demand again.
After a while, Eric forgot he even had a brother. Well he stopped reaching out after innumerable rejections. He would make his own path. But Edgar was always still there, beyond reach but close enough so everyone could see just how bad Eric’s shit stank next to his brother’s shiny car, shiny wife – that good girl had cleaned up into a sexy cougar with big tits.
Edgar came back into his life to take whatever joy remained, he took his parents and moved them into a new fancy house with a room for her sewing and a big yard for his gardening. His life blossomed, his face was everywhere. The small town success. The brother who could have ended up living in a shithole but instead made something of himself unlike you-know-who whose greatest accomplishment was seeding every legal eager-eyed twink in the county.
But when Nathan turned eighteen, he reached out on his father’s behalf. He wanted to get to know his whole family. Even his deadbeat uncle. Edgar who would do anything for his boy made amends with his brother, Eric.
And here they were, Edgar leaving his boy for a weekend of bonding, standing in the doorway like his shoes were too good to touch the floor of the house he grew up in. And there was his son, a spitting image of his father. Smooth, white skin, bushy brown eyebrows under deep eyes that had never learnt to go with the flow.
“I don’t think this is a good idea, you didn’t even know I existed and you turned out alright,” Eric stressed. He hated his brother for making him feel small in his own home. “You should take your boy and just forget about me. Worked well for you, right, Edgar?”
Edgar didn’t say anything. He had his reservations, but just being back in front of his big brother and he felt like a wee eighteen year old boy again. He felt at any moment his brother would drag him inside and pin him down to the floor, sliding his dick in his tight hole, too impatient to take his clothes off.
He thought he had escaped that only now he didn’t know what he had wanted to escape from. While he was pitching new products to investors, didn’t he gaze out the window, his mouth starting to water as he tried to remember the feeling of his brother forcing himself inside, dry? Eric had always been a selfish lover, they fucked when he was horny and if he wanted it dry, good old Edgar took it dry. But when he wasn’t so angry he would spit on his dick and slide it in with such tenderness that Edgar wished he would just spit and slide in, over and over again, stretching his tight hole on the cold marble floor with Dad watering his plants in the garden. The affair would be over before Dad even thought about what the noise was. And usually it was Edgar who was caught with his ass hanging out of his pants. After Eric dumped his load he just pulled out and went back to watching footie.
But that felt good too, because when he stayed and held him in his arms, Edgar felt loved completely and unconditionally. His brother wasn’t very affectionate and when he held him afterwards, albeit tugging at his dick impatiently, it took a lot of effort. He made an effort for his little brother.
Edgar wasn’t little anymore. He was a married man, and his ass had sagged a little over the years and now there was probably too much ass for his brother’s liking. Maybe he shouldn’t have left, but what kind of life could two horny brothers lead? Anyway, Maryanne had got herself pregnant- no he’d left and that was the right thing to do. Nostalgia always tastes sweeter than what really was.
“I don’t want him here anymore than you do, Eric. But he wants to get to know you. Family’s important and we all miss you. Maybe, this is a first step to bringing our family back together,” Edgar said and kissed his embarrassed son on the cheek.
“I love you,” Nathan whispered to his dad.
“I love you,” how many times had Edgar whispered that in Eric’s ear when they were fucking missionary style. He couldn’t just let the sex be good old fucking. He wanted to look in each other’s eyes. He liked it when Eric came with his eyes locked on his. He would grip his strong hands like he would never let go and watch as his big brother ejaculated deep inside him.
Back then Eric hadn’t wanted to make it gay but he did like it. Maybe in a perverse way, but just the thought of his raging dick releasing his semen deep in his belly, and his little brother taking it all. He hated himself for thinking it but his brother was a little slut and fucking him bareback had always felt like the disrespectful treatment he deserved. When he unloaded, he wanted each drop deep inside him and when their eyes locked while he was coming, he wanted so badly to tell his brother’s innocent eyes that he was fucking around. His dick had been in a dirty slut and his little brother had cleaned it up for him.
But Edgar seemed to know. They knew each other in that moment. Eric could never hide from his little brother, and really, missionary position, it always made him feel forgiven, accepted. He didn’t deserve to have Edgar all to himself, yet Edgar loved and took him unconditionally. He looked him in the eye and Eric didn’t feel like small man. He was a man. Just a man, and that meant everything to him.
Of course he felt shitty about the way he treated Edgar afterwards. He deserved the many years when Edgar didn’t return his calls. Or when he slept on his doorstep, knocking through the night but no one came to answer even though both cars were in the driveway and the lights had gone on and off inside while he was out there, cold and alone.
Had he lost all those years because he fucked that slut Jamie just so he could rub his dirty dick in Edgar’s mouth? How could he have been so fucking stupid? Edgar had accepted and loved him even when Eric couldn’t face his own reflection. Edgar had forgiven him over and over again.
Yes, Edgar was always the good one. And he was offering his own son as a gesture of his forgiveness. Eric couldn’t fuck this up.
“I promise, I’ll make it all right,” Eric said to his little brother; tears he didn’t know he’d been holding inside him all those years started streaming down his cheeks.
The brothers embraced; eventually one left, leaving his son with the other.
Eric was a new man, he wouldn’t hurt his brother’s son. He would resist the temptation. He’d been off vodka for two whole years. A man of that resolve could resist temptation for just one weekend.
“I’m really glad, dad let me come over,” Nathan said in a gentle, soothing voice when the door swung shut behind him. His voice was deeper than his father’s; Eric only noticed it now but his nephew had a much bigger Adam’s apple than his father. He wanted to touch his small neck and see if it felt the same. He remembered how every inch of his little brother’s body felt so many years ago. And as he stared at Nathan’s slim body, in his conservative beige clothes he wanted so deeply to touch it again. Just one hand, just one hand on his pure body would wash all the sins away.
“Come here, son,” Eric said reaching a hand out to the boy. He had started cleaning his act up. He was building up muscle, there was still more fat than muscle but he had always had a hulky, macho frame and he felt like a man in that moment. This boy, was as much his as he was his brother’s. What right did Edgar have to keep such a sweet little thing from him for so many years?
“Come to me,” Eric said again. He was impatient and the boy was a little nervous but he started walking towards him. It was like seeing Edgar walking through the door, back from school only now Eric was the man who could have Edgar. He didn’t feel inadequate, he didn’t have to prove himself.
Nathan stood in front of his uncle, his heart palpitating in his chest. His father had warned him about his uncle’s appetite. He was to call him immediately if his uncle tried anything. But he hadn’t tried anything. There was no need to make that call.
Eric’s hand touched Nathan’s smooth, tender neck. It was clammy from the summer heat. He didn’t have to think about it, he was young again and his brother had come back to him. He buried his nose in his neck then moved it up into his wispy brown hair, feeling the sweaty scalp on his skin.
His body remembered how it had been all those years ago. He had waited for this chance. One more time to fuck his brother like he should have all those years ago. One fuck to take back the hurt.
“I love you,” Eric whispered, unafraid. It was gay but he didn’t care. He’d wanted to whisper in his brother’s ear so badly. He wanted to feel him completely, he lifted up Nathan’s small body and carried him to the master bedroom and threw him on the bed his parents had shared for thirty years before they moved out.
When he was a kid he’d wanted to fuck Edgar on that king-sized bed because it would make it seem official, like the consummation of a sacred union between him and his little brother. He lay the boy on his back and spread his arms, taking a moment to steady his tiny, trembling fingers in his. He started unbuttoning his chinos, watching the boy’s chest heave up and down.
He pulled the pants down his soft legs, feeling the underwear unpeeling from his crotch. The boy had a big little erection, with a pink head like his father’s. Eric kissed it and licked the pre-cum with his tongue. Why hadn’t he kissed Edgar a thousand times more, when he had had the chance? He moved his kisses up the boy’s tender thigh, his hands gripping at his ankles.
He was ready to enter him, but the boy was scared.
“It’ll be alright,” Eric reassured him, kissing his wet lips. He pulled out his dick and spat a big wad onto it. “Everything’s going to be alright,” he said, guiding his dick into the boy’s hole. The boy whimpered with wet eyes when the head popped in and slid inside.
Eric held him like he would never let go, feeling his dick go in and out, the boy’s muscles still resisting and squeezing his dick. He was even tighter than his dad had been the first time. Soon their bodies were clinging to each other and moving with a familiar rhythm, after all, Eric knew this boy’s body better than anyone else. He knew that when he reached down to place his head next to the boy’s, it would drive him crazy.
“I love you,” Eric said. He was overwhelmed with emotion. Few men had the great fortune to relive their most treasured memories, he was close to coming and pulled up so he could look into the boy’s eyes. He was aware that tears were dripping down his chin and onto the boy’s smooth chest, maybe the tears had never stopped.
He was back inside his brother, he had his ankles in his hands and he was pumping him with his seed, looking into his brown eyes, watching him watching him. They were in that moment together, a thousand words said with their eyes alone. He felt himself let go inside him, his hands tightened on his ankles then the boy shut his eyes.
Staring into those blissful, closed eyes, his balls still pumping seed into the boy, Eric felt a lump in his throat. He had felt something he thought he’d never feel again in his life, but the person he should have shared it with wasn’t there with him. But there was hope, Edgar was back in Eric’s life and maybe one day he would feel his hands gripping his arms as he pumped his essence inside him, their eyes locked in a gaze that spoke a language only the two of them could understand. Yes there was hope that Eric would be one with Edgar again. Until then, there was no point in wasting his son’s tight hole.