"So welcome to the feast I unleash, I'm a mutherfucking beast ..."
Lance opened his eyes when he heard the Timeflies ringtone on his cell phone. He reached for the phone on top of the nightstand to see who was calling him so early.
"I'm a mutherfucking beast ..."
"You know a mutherfucking - " he punched on the answer button.
"Good morning, honey. Did I wake you up?"
"Yeah, but that's OK. What's up?"
"I wanted to call you and let you know we're having your dad's birthday party tomorrow. I hope you can be here."
"I thought that was next weekend."
"It was, but Sue and Mike have to go to Dodge City for a Little League game Mike is coaching, so we need to move it up a week. Can you come tomorrow? I know it's short notice."
"Sure, Mom. I'll be there. Around one?"
"Why don't you come in the morning and go to church with us?"
"Not gonna happen, Mom." Lance hadn't been inside a church since he had finished high school, but his mother, a Sunday School teacher, never stopped hassling him about it. While he wasn't really an atheist, he was the farthest thing from being religious in any way, shape, or form. He really just didn't give a fuck about it.
"OK, honey. Well, I guess we'll see you tomorrow, then. I'll let you get back to sleep."
"Bye, dear." Lance punched the end button on his phone. Well, now that he was awake, he may as well get up. Sighing, he swung his legs over the side of the bed. After jerking off last night, he had done two hours of work on his laptop for a major project that the firm was working on, trying to attract a prospective client away from one of the big national accounting firms. Then he had watched a little TV before taking off his jeans and getting in bed nude, which is how he preferred to sleep. This morning, he had his usual morning wood, his cock standing at attention. Instead of jerking off, though, he went into the bathroom and took a piss. Talking to his mother always frustrated him lately. He was glad she hadn't asked him if he was alone in bed, like she did the last time she called him early in the morning. He had had a dude he had hooked up with the night before in the bed next to him, and he had told her, "As a matter of fact, I do. Do you wanna talk to him?" Ever since he had told his parents he was bi six years ago, his mother had tried to fix him up with one girlfriend after another, trying to encourage the "normal" side of his sexuality. His dad had taken a much more relaxed attitude toward his bisexuality, which had kind of surprised Lance, considering how conservative his father was. He had simply said, "Just make sure you keep your nose clean," and left it at that. Lance appreciated the fact that he was very fortunate in the parents he had, knowing how difficult other people's family situations were. He knew his parents didn't approve of his lifestyle, but as long as he left his male hookups out of their business, he was always welcome in their lives and home. He could live with that. Perfect? Hardly. But who the fuck had a perfect life? He figured he was goddam lucky to have the life he had.
After pissing, Lance went back into his bedroom and pulled on his jeans, then went into the kitchen and made a pot of coffee, then started putting some dishes and pans that had air dried in the dish drainer away in the cupboards. When he had finished, he then put some bread in the toaster. By the time the toast was ready, the pot of coffee had finished brewing. He poured a mug of coffee, then spread some butter on the toast and sat down at the counter to eat, reading the online Wall Street Journal on his laptop while he was eating. He knew he had a busy day ahead, so he may as well get started. Plus, the heat was going to be a hot mutherfucker today, so he needed to get as much done in the morning as possible outside.
Lance spent the morning working in his yard, picking up small branches that had fallen from the maple tree in his back yard during the rain storm yesterday, then cutting the grass and trimming the bushes on either side of the steps leading to his front porch. After edging the grass along the front sidewalk in his front yard, he put his yard tools away in the backyard shed and went back inside the house, where he took a cool shower and got cleaned up from the grime and sweat that had been pouring off his naked chest and back while he had been working outside. He put on a clean pair of 501s, then got himself a sandwich and a bottle of beer and sat on the couch to watch a ball game on TV. Since his house didn't have air conditioning, he had his front door open to try and catch any slight breeze outside, with the screen door keeping the flies out. A circular fan stood on the coffee table to blow directly on him to try and stir up some air. After about thirty minutes of a very slow-moving game, the hot heavy air in the house caused him to doze off to a light sleep.
He woke with a start and shouted.
"GodDAMmit. What the FUCK!" A warm wet mouth was around his cock, which had been pulled out from his jeans, which had been unbuttoned. He looked at the thick black hair on the top of the head whose mouth was giving him the blowjob and thought he recognized something. When the person giving him what he had to admit was some pretty awesome head looked up at him, he yelled.
"Samantha! What the fuck are you doing here?"
Samantha let his dick go from her mouth with a loud pop, holding his boner in her left hand while she stroked his balls with her right.
"I saw you molesting me with your eyes yesterday the entire time Eric and I were with you. I saw how hard you got as soon as I stepped into your office. I know you want this." She tugged on his hard-on.
"You fucking cunt, you're goddam crazy!"
"You're right, I am crazy. Crazy to get ahold of this." She went down on him again, taking his big cock all the way to the back of her throat.
Jesus fucking Christ, the bitch did know how to suck cock, that was for goddam sure.
Not quite sure what to do, Lance sat still for a minute while his dick responded to the blowjob it was getting. Without even realizing it, he was letting happen something which angry women all over the world accused men of doing all the time. He began thinking with his dick.
If the bitch wanted to blow him, he was going to sit back and enjoy the fucking ride.
Samantha obviously knew what the hell she was doing. She knew exactly how much suction to use, how to scrape his shaft lightly with her teeth to create exactly the right sensation of slight pain to which his dick would respond by growing even bigger, how to fondle his balls and the area directly beneath the root of his shaft to stimulate him even more than before. The bitch had no end to saliva coming out of her mouth, mostly by taking his cock all the way to the back of her throat and causing her to gag up her spit, which she used to lube him up. Lance actually felt like he had just smoked a joint, his buzz was so strong. There was nothing, absolutely nothing, in the world going on that mattered but his cock and her mouth, and his desperate need to blow his fucking load. But he couldn't. GODDAMMIT! His load kept building, and building, and building. His balls kept on sending his babies up to his shaft, but the pressure that the bitch had created by her expert blowjob wouldn't allow him to get him any normal kind of release. Lance realized he was about to have the cumshot of his life, any second now.
Suddenly, without any warning, Samantha pulled her mouth away.
"FUCK!!!!" he roared, as rope after rope of hot white cum shot out of his piss slit, flying several feet into the air, landing on the coffee table, the floor, Samantha's face and clothes.
"GODDAM!" he said, after nearly thirty seconds of trying to catch his breath.
"So I take it you liked it?"
"I thought you would."
Finally pulling his brain out of his dick, Lance said, "You never really did answer my question. Why are you here, other than to give me the best head I've had in years? How did you even know where I live?"
"There's this really cool thing called Google."
"OK. So why did you want to give me a blowjob? You've got a husband who I imagine likes to get off as much as I do."
"Fuck my husband."
"My husband is a pathetic joke. He has no idea what he's doing in bed."
Looking at her extended belly, Lance said, "He obviously knows how to shoot his load in your pussy."
"One accidental baby does not a man make. If he had known what he was doing he would have held his load until he was fucking my asshole, and I wouldn't have had to marry the jerk."
"Wow, you really don't like the dude, do you?"
"He's a baby. Unlike you. You're a man."
"What do you mean by that?"
"I mean, ... I want to get fucked by a real man. Someone who knows what they're doing."
"You want me to fuck you?"
"Are you as retarded as Eric? Do I have to spell it out for you?"
"Come here." Lance pulled Samantha toward him, and the weight of her belly pressed against his sweat-covered chest.
"What are you going to do to me, white boy?"
"F." He pulled her tits out of her blouse and began to suck on the large brown nipples, biting softly against them, then lightly licking them with the tip of his tongue.
"U." Reaching into her skirt, he pressed his index finger into the folds of her pussy, bending at the knuckle and pushing in, exploring the damp recesses hidden underneath her skirt, fortunately not covered with any underwear. Goddam, she was already wet.
Bringing his finger up to his mouth, he sucked on her pussy juices.
"C." He pulled down her skirt, exposing her shaved pussy to his view. He brought his head as close as he could get, since her ridiculously huge belly blocked any normal access he would take when going down on a bitch's cunt. Cocking his head sideways, he stuck his nose into her pussy, breathing the dank smell of the soft folds of flesh. Then he started working his mouth around her shaved opening, shoving his tongue as far in as he could, licking and biting while she squirmed in pleasure.
"You know, I can usually get a girl to cum for me in less than a minute. Do you want me to make you cum?"
"Is that a promise?"
"Less than a minute? You must be a real pro."
"I know my way around a pussy."
"You know, Lance, when I googled your name, I didn't just find your address. Do you know what else I found on the internet?"
"Let me guess. You found some videos of me fucking some bitches in my bedroom."
"You're a naughty boy. Filming them like that."
"You think so?"
"Actually, I think it's hot. I brought my camcorder."
"You want me to fuck you while we film it?"
"Now you're getting the idea."
"You want me to fuck your asshole as well as your cunt?"
"You want me to piss on you?"
"You like kinky shit, huh?"
"You want to be my mutherfucking bitch today?"
"K." Lance stood up, taking Samantha's hand and bringing her to her feet. He grabbed the camcorder she had brought, and led her to his bedroom door.
"I keep the tripod set up for times like this."