Music pounding in my ears as I lay slumped up on the bar table, the shiny black surface reflecting the neon lights blindingly into my eyes. Squinting, I stare down the table examining the few lonely men lined up along the bar, myself included. Every other man has been absorbed by the crowded dance floor, becoming one moving mass. Sweating hunks of men clustered together, tantalizing the eyes with their dance moves. Yet no one special catches my eye, they all blend in without any defining traits to separate them from the rest. This was unusual because as the best known gay bar in town, almost every night there are a few guys who stand out from the rest of the crowd. People that send shivers of excitement through the body and make me want to get out of my seat to go introduce myself. No one like that was here tonight, which just made my deflated mood even worse. I raised my head off of the table top to order my 5th drink of the night, trying to wash away the grief and numb my soul.
"Dumped again Jason?" The bartender gently said in his familiar voice, the voice of my best friend Will. In response to his question, I slammed my head back down on the bar and grunted a slurred profanity in his general direction. Then gave an equally slurred order of whiskey. Doing his job, he sighed and turned away, expertly preparing the drink. As he returned, I could tell he wasn't going to hand it over willingly. I would have to "talk it out with him" before I could lay my hands on the drink. When I'm sober, I marvel at his patience with me. I always come to his bar and drink when I get dumped. For some reason, that happens a lot.
It's not my looks though, I'm assure of that. That sounds conceited of me, I know. But standing at a comfortable height of 6 ft. with a defined swimmers tone. I make more boyfriends at the swimming pool than at any bar. I don't have massive muscles but tanned skin which helps to increase the definition and appeal of my body. And being a competitive swimmer, where Speedos are a necessity, helps out a lot. When I swim, there are always lingering gazes on me from both genders. My looks have started half of my relationships and I have to deny a lot of confessions from girls also. During a large competition, that is almost a daily occurrence. So I know that it's not my looks that end my relationships.
That leaves me thinking that I have some personality defects or something. I become more sure of this with every break-up. They leave me saying 'I don't think that you are fully committed to this relationship' or something like that. Every single time it's the same reason. It's has been that way ever since I got out of high school. Luckily I had Will around to keep me company. He has continued to assure me that my personality is fine, but that gets harder and harder to believe as my failures continue to pile up. All these depressing thoughts reminded me of why I had come to the bar in the first place, to drown my sorrows in alcohol. I look up expectantly at Will, who I realize has been staring at me for the last five minutes waiting for me to sense his presence. I see my whiskey in his hand and reach up to take the fiery brew but he snatches it away from me, increasing my drunken frustrations. I jump up and reach over the bar as far as my arms will reach, scrambling wildly for my drink.
"Jason!" Will shouts as his uninfluenced reflexes take over and he quickly out maneuvers my uncoordinated swings at the glass. "Get a hold of yourself Jason, it's going to be alright. Just calm down for now and we can talk this out." He puts down the glass, far behind him where I can't reach, and pushes me back into my seat. Defeated, I lay back down on the counter knowing that our talk is about to begin. Well, it isn't really a mutual back and forth kind of talk, its more like a lecture. For a half hour he talks to me. Will knows me as well as I know myself. He calms my anger and soothes my grief with encouraging words. He is so kind, but when I am like this, I can only treat him with indifference and annoyance. Babbling incoherent, drunken curses at him as the clock on the walk looks down on us, mocking me with it's slow moving hands. I noticed that it was getting late, it was already 1:30am. I look up at Will, still talking to me incessantly, and break his well rehearsed speech with some of the first real words I have spoken all night.
"It's getting late, I'm going home." I stand and wobble away from the counter. Will's face pales as I walk towards the door, fully meaning to drive home right now. I look towards the door and stop just as Will begins to frantically chase me down. But Will wasn't the reason I stopped. I stopped because standing in the doorway, just entering the bar, was one of the most gorgeous men I had ever seen. He stood, probably 5'7" , with a revealing muscle shirt showing his muscled chest very seductively. He had a ripped up pair of denim around his legs, showing more than most would dare. His short blond hair was spiked in the front displaying his perfect face with his bright blue eyes and accentuated cheek bones. He had not taken two steps into the bar before noticing my gaze, which he then returned. I blushed and quickly looked away, half because of the alcohol and half because he was so damn beautiful. I noticed that he turned toward me and was about to step forward just as Will had finally chased me down to where I stood now, rooted to the floor. He began yelling at me, much like an angry mother would to her son that she just caught seeking out of the house late at night. Saying how suicidal it was drive in my state, how much I was scaring him, how I should just wait until his shift is over and let him take me home. Hearing this, the god of sex appeal I had just laid my eyes on began to walk out of the bar .
"I'm going to catch a ride home, don't worry." I rushed out the words so fast that he probably didn't hear any of them, but my feet were already on the move. I had to chase down that man. I don't know why I was this obsessed just from one look. I mean, I have seen good-looking men many times but there was something about him that made my heart race. My blood flowed fast and hot driving my feet faster and out the bar door, somehow without tripping. I glanced around and just barely saw him run down an alley. I chased after him pushing my legs as fast as they could go, hoping that I catch him. I reach the alley entrance and turn down the corner so quickly I slam into the wall on the far side, coming to a loud and clumsy halt.
"AHHH!" Comes the shout from right behind me, and there stands my sexy angel. He was clearly scared half to death from my entrance into the alley. I mean, a drunken 190lb man ramming into a wall right behind you would be quite surprising. As I look up into his eyes, from were I was currently residing in a pile of trash, I notice that he had been crying. His face a picture of sorrow and shock, he looked just about ready to collapse from it all.
"Umm, are you alright?" I tentatively ask after a while of staring at each other. I poke at the awkward bubble growing between us with my words, hoping to start a conversation despite the situation. He looked down at me, lying on a bed of garbage, and a bright smile lit his tear covered face. A smile so bright the darkness of the alley and turmoil of my emotions were all but forgotten about. Sweet laughter, a light whimper at first that quickly grew loud and raucous, burst from his mouth quickly filling my ears. The sound was contagious. I didn't know what he had all of a sudden started laughing at, but I couldn't help to add my voice to the melody. We laughed in the alley for a while, bringing sharp pains to my sides and constricting my breathing until I was forced to stop from lack of air. I tried to stand up and continue our conversation but slipped, and yet again set of a chain of laughing fits from the both of us. He reached down and helped my to my feet, his face beaming as tears from laughing washed away the tears of sadness that shrouded over his face just moments ago.
"I should be asking you if your all right! And I'm great now, thanks to you." He said in a luscious voice that my ears lapped up. "May I ask you for your name? I saw you in the bar a few minutes ago and..." His face clouded at the thought for some unknown reason and tears began to come to his eyes. He quickly wiped his eyes and his demeanor changed all of a sudden. He seemed to hate standing in front of me. He looked prepared to sprint away, like a rabbit standing before a bear "Sorry that I have bothered you." he abruptly stated and began to briskly scamper off down the alley.
" WAIT!" I shouted after him. "Please don't go. My name is Jason. Jason Bowers. What's yours?" I ask in desperation, every ounce of my being is praying that he wont go, that he will stay just a little longer and bless me with his presence. Though I don't even know his name and we have only been together in this alley for a few minutes. It feels like I have known him forever and I wont be able to live without him any longer.
"Caleb Khoury." Caleb squeaked out getting ready to run away. I was ready for it this time. I lunged out and grabbed his hand before he could run off leaving me here. He struggled a little then quickly gave up. His heart wasn't in the effort and he remained still. He looked up at me, pleading with his bright blue eye and whimpered "Why wont you let me go?" That glance sent shivers of guilt running through my spin and immersed me from head to toe in a cold, remorseful wave of emotion. I almost let him go when tears began to form in his eyes.
"I wont let you go," I slowly began staring into Caleb's eyes, trying to force all of my emotions into my words. "because I think that I fell in love with you. One look and I was hooked on you, but it's more than your looks. Caleb, in the last ten minutes I have felt more emotions then I have felt in the last four years. My heart began to beat faster the moment you stepped into the bar. I forgot about my surroundings and all I could focus on was you." The words flowed out from me before I could stop them. I mean seriously? Love at first sight? How lame does that sound... but the words kept flowing. The dam had been broken and they came in an endless stream from my mouth. "My heart soared at the sight of your smile and I forgot that I just broke up with my boyfriend. I forgot about my insecurities in myself and had to chase you out here. I laughed just because you laughed, I am about to cry just because you are. I..."
Forcing me to stop my onslaught of affection, Caleb looked up at me. He cupped his hands together behind my neck and pulled me down with his surprisingly strong grip. He planted his lips on mine and all my strength was zapped up in an instant. I was frozen by the shock. My emotions raged and the alcohol made them burn even brighter. My consciousness was lost in his supple lips pressed against mine. I breathed him in and it was ecstasy. I grabbed his face with my large hands and pulled him into me. His lips parted and his tongue begged for entrance into my mouth. I was powerless to refuse him and opened my lips in compliance. Caleb tasted me and I tasted him as our tongues played in our mouths. He was sweet, sweeter than any chocolate I had ever tasted. I was addicted to his flavor and begged for more. Our lips parted for a mere split second to breathe and it still felt too long. He pulled away from my face, his eyes staring into mine lit a fire in my soul. This fired burned with a passion for him and I was a slave to it. As I stared into the sea of his eyes I saw them begin to over flow with tears yet again.
"I'm... so... happy." Caleb breathed out a sigh of relief and joy. "Seeing someone as handsome as you, staring at me so intently as I entered the bar, my heart skipped a beat. I fell in love, then that other man ran up to you so with so much concern on his face... I thought he was your boyfriend. I felt a pang of sorrow at the mere thought, I didn't understand it, but I had to get out of there." He leaned his head on my chest and heaved out a heavy sigh. I wrapped my arms around him, I don't think that I will ever let go. This moment, here with Caleb in my arms, seems so perfect. How did I live my life without him before now? He reached around me and returned the hug. His arms fit perfectly around my back like they were made to be there. The sensation of it sent waves of joy through me. We stood there, sharing each others company under the stars for a long time. I was sure that my life would never be the same from that moment on.