*** I don't know Ashton Kutcher, nor have I had sex with the actor, nor do I know anything about his life, or his sexual orientation. This is a work of fiction only. ***
At the end of our freshman year, Ashton and I got jobs working as door-to-door salesmen. Even back in college days Ashton was as entertaining a guy as he is today -- which made our job of selling insurance to people to really fun and easy.
One day, at the end of our shift on our last day of work, we walked home through a wooded area behind a row of houses.
"Dude, I'm so glad school's over. Now we can party hard over the summer," I said to Ashton as we took a piss under a tree along the way.
"Yeah, non-stop partying. That's gonna be sick, man. Today, work sucked though. I got no leads," he commented.
"Yeah. Me neither. Oh, well," I'd replied, shrugging.
"How 'bout we take a dip in the lake? You comin' with?" I asked, as I ripped off my clothes.
"Skinny dippin? Heck, why the fuck not?" he said, as he jumped into the water after me.
"Hey, man, why are women so dramatic?" Ashton said, as we swam around in the water. "My girlfriend was complaining to me today about this bridesmaid dress she's gotta wear to her sister's wedding this weekend -- she says she hates the colour of it. It annoys me how much she hates the littlest things all the time -- even down to the things we do in bed for chrissakes! I hate to say this, but she never wants to have sex anymore either. Man, it really sucks not getting laid. Kind of makes me glad I fucked around with you even in the dorms sometimes last year? Like that time we got off to that Pamela Anderson poster in the bathroom," he admitted, smiling over at me.
"Yeah. We need to have fun like that again!" I confessed. "Fuck. My dick's getting hard just thinking about Pam's huge tits right now," I added.
"Fuck, my dick's getting hard too! I got a huge fucking boner," he'd said, laughing.
"Shit, let me check," I said jokingly, as I dove underwater. "Nope, you ain't lying brother!" I said after I came up for air.
"Whoa man, I think there's something under the water!" Ashton said, suddenly.
"Where!? Are you fucking serious?!" I said.
"Yep.... don't move, man! I think there's a sea monster under there that's about to bite off your dick!" Ashton said to me jokingly, as he reached under the water and grabbed at my dick before we started wrestling in the water -- lifting each other up and body slamming each other against the lake's surface.
"Yo. We should get outta here. We could get caught," I said, after I saw a couple walking their dog nearby.
We swam back to shore to get our clothes on. Back on land, both of us stood there naked before getting dressed, and it seemed like the perfect opportunity for me to make another move on Asgon I realize now, looking back, but instead we just exchanged phone numbers and agreed to keep in touch that summer though we never did.