CHAPTER 5

When I saw the package with Josh's name on it, I stopped walking. When Laurie noticed I wasn't moving, she stopped and looked back, puzzled. She hadn't seen what I was looking at. Quickly an idea formed in my mind. I decided not to tell her what I had just found out. I wasn't sure what I was going to do with this information, but I had a vague idea I might be able to use it to my advantage somehow. I patted my pocket and said, 'Oh, never mind. I thought I left my keys upstairs,' and walked on. We had driven to Kyle's place separately, so we drove back to my place separately. When we got there, we made love passionately.

A couple of weeks later I got an email from Kyle asking if he could come over for a quick fuck the following night. I agreed, naturally, and his followup email said, 'I'll be there sometime after 10:00. Be naked, standing up against the wall, facing it, with your arms raised and your legs spread, like you're about to be frisked.'

At the appointed time I got into position. At this point in our relationship, there were some things that didn't need to be said, for example that I should leave the door unlocked and have my asshole lubed. I waited that way for about ten minutes until I heard him come in. Without saying anything, he walked behind me and pushed me closer against the wall. I had to turn my head to one side, my face flat against the smooth surface. He pulled his pants partway down, and shoved his cock all the way in on the first thrust. He held my wrists tightly as he plunged roughly into me. My hard cock rubbed against the wall with each thrust. Soon he plunged even deeper and his hands shook. He let out a deep breath and came in me. He leaned forward onto me, exhausted. He pressed me against the wall as he relaxed, then nuzzled his cheek against mine. We were both cleanly shaven, but I could feel a slight coarseness. It was an odd sensation. There were still some things about being with another guy that were a novelty for me. Then he kissed my neck gently, twice. I felt like I was melting.

Next he stepped back and pulled up his pants. He spoke for the first time. 'Stay like that,' he ordered. Then he left. I didn't know whether he was coming back, or what was going on, but I had my instructions and I obeyed.

Several minutes later, I heard the door open again and Laurie walked in. She laughed and said, 'You follow orders well.' She took my hand and led me into the bedroom. We made wild, animal love. I realized she was using Kyle as human Viagra for me.

A few weeks later, I got a call one night from Josh just as I was about to get ready for bed. He said, 'Kyle and I had a big fight and I had to get out of there. I have no place else to go. Can I come over and sleep on your sofa?'

'Of course,' I said. When he arrived his eyes were red and puffy. I offered him a drink.

'No, just water please,' he said. He seemed rattled. I got him a bottle.

'Do you want to talk about it?'

'We got into a big screaming match. It was about nothing. I had forgotten to do something he asked me to do, and then we started yelling about all kinds of things, you know, all the stupid things two people living together get pissed off about, the annoying habits that drive each other crazy. We'll patch it up. I just had to get away for a while.'

'Stay as long as you want,' I said. I had a suspicion I might have been an underlying reason for the tension between them, but I didn't mention it.

'Thanks, I'll be OK in the morning.'

We sat quietly for a few minutes.

'So, you and Kyle are brothers,' I said.

I thought that would be a bombshell, but he seemed only mildly surprised.

'Kyle told you?' he asked.

'I saw something with your name on it. He doesn't know I know. He and Laurie are talking behind my back, and I thought it might be good for me to keep a secret from them. I don't know how I might take advantage of it yet.'

Josh laughed and said, 'If there's anything I can do to help....' It was good to hear him laugh.

He continued, 'Kyle didn't want you to know at first because he thought you had enough to deal with, having sex with a guy for the first time, then it turning out to be two guys, then all the humiliation stuff. I don't know why he still hasn't told you. I suppose he has a reason.' He took a swig of water and went on. 'Actually, we're half brothers. Different mothers, same asshole father. We each lived with our mothers. We knew each other growing up, but not very well. I didn't know he was gay until I ran into him in a bar a couple years ago. I was looking for an apartment at the time and he had an extra room, so I moved in. Since then he's become like a real brother, almost like a father to me. He looks out for me, which I resent sometimes.'

'A brother/father you have sex with?'

'We don't have sex with each other. There was only one other guy we both fucked at the same time, and that one was Kyle's idea too.'

He took another drink of water. 'It's about time for me to move out, but it's hard to leave. He doesn't charge me anywhere close to my share of the rent. Also, there's something, I don't know, kind of compelling about him. In school he always had a lot of friends, got good grades, was athletic. Now he has a good job. He makes you want to be around him.'

'You're more athletic than he is.'

Josh blushed a little and said, 'More muscular, not more athletic. I go to the gym, he plays sports.'

I went on, 'I know what you mean about wanting to be around him. He's charismatic.'

'Yeah, like a cult leader.' He looked at me curiously. 'Are you in love with him? I thought it was just sex with you two.'

'It was just sex. Now I think I may be falling in love with him.'

'Just be careful,' Josh said enigmatically. 'Anyway, it's late. Thanks for the use of the couch.'

'Don't be silly,' I said, and gestured toward the bedroom.

As we walked into the other room, he said, 'I don't want to make love, but I'd really like it if you'd hold me.'

'I can do that.'

We got undressed down to our underwear and climbed into bed. We spooned, me behind him, our legs intertwined. I reached my arm around his chest and held him close. He put his hand over mine. Both of our heads were on the same pillow. As I became drowsy, I thought, 'Why can't I love this guy? He's pretty enough to be a model, he's got a smokin' body, and he's sweet, too.' The only answer I could come up with was that he wasn't Kyle.

In the morning we hurriedly got ready for work, had a quick breakfast, and headed off at the same time.

For weeks, all I could think about was that last time with Kyle, when he brushed his cheek against mine and kissed my neck tenderly. I found myself closing my eyes and imagining it. I wanted to feel that way again. One night I couldn't wait any longer. I called Kyle and asked if I could come over.

'I'd love to see you, but I've got a lot of work to do tonight. I have to read a big report for a meeting in the morning.'

'That's OK. You can work. I just want to be near you.'

'OK.'

When I arrived, his apartment door was unlocked. Inside, the dog collar and leash were waiting for me on the floor. I took off my clothes, put on the collar and crawled into the living room, dragging the leash behind me. He was sitting naked in a chair reading a thick document. He pointed toward a spot on the floor beside him. I crawled over to it and handed him the end of the leash. He slipped it over his wrist, then went back to his reading. I knelt there, content to be at his side. Periodically he would turn a page or pick up a pen and write some notes in the margins. After a while, he set the document aside and looked down at me. He put his hand behind his head, looked toward his armpit and said, 'Lick.'

I stood up, leaned over the chair and put my nose in his pit. It was sweaty and musky but not pungent. It smelled of him. I liked his smell. I twirled his armpit hair around my tongue, then lapped from the bottom of the tuft to the top. I worked it over until he pulled gently on the leash to move my head to his other armpit. I repeated the procedure, this time spending more time sniffing before I started licking. Once I licked, I couldn't enjoy the aroma any more. Then he pulled me by the leash down to his hard cock. 'Suck it slowly, very slowly.'

I sank to my knees between his legs. As I started to suck him in slow motion, he picked up his report and began to read again. At the speed I was sucking it would take him forever to come, but that was fine with me. I could do this all night. While I sucked I lightly stroked his inner thighs with my fingertips. After about twenty minutes his breathing started getting faster. I could tell he was getting close. Suddenly he dropped the report and pulled me off his dick by the leash. He moved my head down to his balls. I started licking them. He picked up the report and resumed reading. When he had calmed down, he moved my head back up to his dick and I sucked him again, as slowly as I could move. After another fifteen or twenty minutes he started getting excited again. This time when he pulled me off his dick he slumped further back in the chair and presented his asshole to me. I slowly circled it with my tongue, then gently licked the pucker. I clamped my mouth down on it and stuck my tongue in and out repeatedly. I had long ago gotten over my initial aversion to rimming and now enjoyed being made to do it. Meanwhile he continued to read his document and occasionally make notes in it. In time he moved my head back up to his dick. He set aside his reading and looked down at me. 'Go faster now.'

I picked up the pace and gave him a regular blowjob. When he came, it was a good one. He shoved my head down hard and blasted his juice into me. I let his cock start to soften in my mouth.

He stood up and helped me to my feet. He took off the collar and dropped it to the floor. He gave me a long, sweet kiss, then led me into the bedroom. We lay down together and continued to kiss while he jerked me off. I came all over both of our chests. He held me closer and smeared it around between us. We lay embraced tightly together for about half an hour. I was so happy. Then he pulled back. He smoothed my hair off my forehead and said, 'I wish you could spend the night, but I still have a lot of work to do.'

'That's OK. Another night?'

'Any time you want.'

I got dressed, we kissed again and I left.

I walked down the hall and pushed the button for the elevator. When the elevator door opened, Josh was inside with another guy, laughing and holding hands. When he saw me, he dropped the other guy's hand and looked guilty and frightened, like a teenager caught masturbating by his mother. There was no reason for him to feel guilty. If he found someone to be happy with, I was happy for him. They got off and I got on. As the door started to close, Josh glanced back at me. The other guy didn't notice the glance or didn't care. He giggled and took Josh's hand again. I got the impression they had known each other for about an hour. The door closed and I went home.

 

CHAPTER 6

Laurie and I had planned to spend the weekend together, but early Saturday morning her office called and asked her to come in to work. With the day free, I called Kyle.

'I miss you,' I said. 'Can you come over?'

'Well, I was just about to go for a run, but I could come over after that.'

'Perfect. Just don't shower after your run,' I said. He chuckled.

Kyle was a pretty serious runner, so it was a couple of hours before he arrived. I was waiting for him in my usual position, naked and on my knees. When he entered he was still wearing his running clothes: sneakers, shorts and a t-shirt. The t-shirt was soaked with sweat. He stepped in front of me. I untied his shoes and slipped them off, then the socks. I kissed his feet, then slowly licked my way up the inside of his leg toward his shorts. As I got closer to his crotch, the intoxicating, heady aroma of his sweat grew stronger. Before I reached my goal, he bent down and helped me to my feet. I pulled his t-shirt up over his head. I rubbed it all over my face and breathed in his rich scent, then tossed it aside. I buried my face in his wet chest, licking the sweat from between his well-developed pecs. Then he gently pushed on the top of my head and I sank back down to my knees. Along the way, I licked the light trail of hair running from his navel to the waistband of his shorts. I nuzzled my face against the bulge in the damp shorts. Slowly I slid them down, revealing a classic white jockstrap, nearly translucent with sweat. He kicked the shorts away and stood with his legs spread wide, his hands on his hips. I licked his skin along the sides of the jock, from the bottom of the pouch to the waistband, first one side, then the other. Small tufts of curly, coarse pubic hair peeked out from the sides, grazing my nose as I licked. I reached around and cupped his firm cheeks with my hands, then slid my fingers down his sweat-slick crack. I tickled his pucker, then brought my finger around and sniffed it. Next I reached up and peeled off the tight, damp jock. His dick bobbed in front of my face. I lowered my mouth onto it and slowly sucked him. As his breathing got heavier, I started going faster. Just as I was expecting him to come, he pulled out of my mouth and stepped back.

He took a couple of breaths, then helped me to my feet again. He led me into the bedroom and sat me down on the edge of the bed. He got on his knees between my legs and went down on my cock. It felt weird looking down on him like that. For someone who's always on top, he was an awfully skilled cocksucker. As he sucked, he lightly stroked my thighs, then fondled my balls. I ran my fingers through his silky hair. When I was ready, I held his head and bucked into his mouth. It felt wonderful but also strange to come into his mouth. He milked my cock with his hand, then got up. He leaned over and kissed me, drooling all of my own cum into my mouth.

Next he pulled me all the way onto the bed and rolled me over on my stomach. He spread my legs wide, then spread my asscheecks with his hands. He spit on my asshole and rubbed it around with his cock, then gradually slipped his dick into me. He nibbled my ear as he plunged in and out of me, not too roughly. Soon he reared up, plunged in deep and shot his load into me.

Afterward we rested for a while, then showered together and got dressed. He had brought a change of clothes but had forgotten a belt. I lent him one of mine, and realized that one of the advantages of dating another guy is you can borrow each other's clothes. We went out for a late lunch and had a delightful time talking about all kinds of things: art, politics, sports. It seemed whatever the subject was, he knew a little bit more about it than I did. He had a unique perspective on things; he seemed to look at the world a little differently than most people. I felt happy. At one point I decided to test how far our relationship was progressing.

'How's Josh?' I asked

'He's OK. I think he's going to be moving out.'

'Will you be getting another roommate?'

'Probably not. It's been nice having him share part of the rent, but I'm kind of looking forward to having more privacy.'

I felt disappointed. I had given him the opportunity to tell me they were brothers, but for some reason he wanted to continue to keep it a secret.

After lunch we went to a movie and then back to my place. We snuggled on the sofa for a while, then he said, 'Well, I guess I'd better be going.'

I was stunned. 'You're not going to spend the night?'

'Sorry, I wish I could. I've got to get up early tomorrow.'

I felt crushed. I so wanted to hold him all night and wake up next to him. I was confused about whether our relationship was really changing or not.

The next day I spent with Laurie. I don't like to keep secrets from her, so I told her about my afternoon with Kyle.

'I know,' she said. I was starting to get a little annoyed at all this sharing of information between them. I decided to test her about Josh.

'He says Josh may be moving out soon. I wonder if he'll get another roommate.' I paused to see if she had a reaction, then continued, 'They seem pretty close. I've always wondered if they were more than just roommates, but I've never asked them.'

She glanced away and with a very slight smirk said, 'I wouldn't know.' At that point I was certain she knew they were brothers.

About a week later I had what would turn out to be both the worst and the best day of my life. It started innocently enough. I was at work and realized I had left some papers at home, so I went back to pick them up at lunchtime. When I opened my apartment door, I heard a noise from the bedroom.

'Laurie?' I called. It wouldn't have been unusual for her to be at my place, but I wasn't expecting her.

The bedroom door opened and Kyle was standing there, putting on his shirt. Laurie was in bed.

I ran out of the apartment. I walked around for about an hour, then went back. They were gone. I was too upset to go back to work, so I called in and told my boss I wasn't feeling well and wanted to take the afternoon off. That was certainly true, I felt nauseous. I sat down, stared at the floor and tried to sort through my feelings. I realized the absurdity the situation. I could hardly justify being morally outraged that my boyfriend was fucking my girlfriend. It wasn't the sex that bothered me, it was the deception. I had always been upfront with Laurie about Kyle, at least since she and I started getting serious. The worst part of it was the incredible cruelty of doing it in my apartment instead of one of theirs. There was no reason for that, other than to laugh at me behind my back. That had to be Kyle's idea. My relationship with him had been all about humiliation from the start, but that was all just sexual role playing. This was different. I didn't get to use the safe word this time. I couldn't blame Laurie, at least not too much. I knew better than anyone how easy it was to fall under Kyle's influence.

I got up and changed the sheets. I didn't want to smell Kyle and Laurie on them when I went to bed, but it was also a symbolic gesture. I was starting over clean. I sat down and stared at the floor again, then I thought of the one person who could understand what I was going through. I called Josh.

'Josh, I just found Kyle and Laurie together in bed. In my bed.'

There was a long pause, then he whispered, 'Oh my God.'

'Can you come over tonight?' I asked, almost begged.

'Actually, I can leave work early. I'll come over now.'

'Thank you.'

While I waited for him, I experienced the start of a transformation. I began to realize I might really love Josh after all. When Kyle was around, he shined so brightly I couldn't see anything else, but now that he was gone, it was as if everything came back into focus. I thought about how nice it had felt when Josh and I held each other. I thought how characteristically kind it was of him to leave work right away to come over and comfort me. I knew that what I was feeling might just be rebound desperation, but it sure felt like real love. At any rate, there would be plenty of time to find out.

When Josh arrived, we had a long, tender kiss at the door, then lay down together on the couch. We didn't talk much, but the silences were comfortable. Without even thinking about it, I asked, 'Do you want to move in?'

'Yes,' he said. It was as simple as that. We both took the next day off from work and moved his stuff out of Kyle's apartment. He left a short note telling Kyle where he'd gone.

That was almost two years ago, and we're still together, and very much in love. Neither of us has spoken to Kyle since then. I talked to Laurie a couple of times. She apologized, and I accepted her apology. There are no hard feelings between us, but it's definitely over. Now Josh and I are trying to scrape up enough money for a down payment to buy a house together, so we can have a dog.

 

Submissive Steve

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