In Real Life

by Justin

22 Nov 2010 725 readers Score 8.6 (5 votes) PDF Mobi ePub Txt


For the past four days I've been consistently preoccupied with the filming of my new show and it's been a good distracter. I haven't had time to think about the horrible press that came out on Tuesday. Fellow cast mates have been asking (not so discreetly) if I was in a relationship with Harry. By the end of the first day back at work I practically mad an announcement saying that I was not with Harry in any way, shape or form.

I haven't been out much lately because I've completely immersed myself in work, trying to avoid seeing anymore tabloids. Also, since filming ended for the week I decided I might as well go out and do something. So I went to the local bookstore (Waterstones) and to get a self help book on relationships. Maybe I can figure out why I never have a successful relationship.

I walked into Waterstones and went straight towards the section for self help books. I wondered over to the section and as soon as I turned the corner I was greeted by the sight of a very handsome man who was smartly dressed. He was tall, fit, and blonde (I'm usually not attracted to blondes) but this guy was perfect. I can only describe him as Mr. Perfect. That's why he'll probably just ignore me. I would ignore me if I was him.

I cautiously walked over to the area and stood right next to him as well. I reached for a book which looked particularly, then out of no where Mr. Perfect grabbed it. Surely he saw me reaching for the book. I quickly looked to see if there were any more copies and the weren't. I turned to face him and gave him an evil look. When he looked over at me he appeared to be quite frightened.

'I'm sorry did do something?' he said in his perfect 'nice guy' voice.

'Well, I think you saw me reaching for that book.' I gestured to the book in his hand.

'Oh...so you need relationship advice as well?' he said cheekily.

'I don't think that's any of your business, is it.' I snapped back.

He was about to respond when something caught my eye. I gasped and tried to hide myself behind Mr. Perfect. 'What's going on? What're you doing?' he asked completely baffled.

'I'm hiding from my ex.' I said quietly.

'Where is your ex?' He asked mimicking my quiet tone.

'Him and his new boyfriend just walked past this aisle.'

'Wait, your ex has a boyfriend? How long ago did you break up? If you don't mind me asking.'

'We broke up 3 months ago. Oh, but get this, he's been with his current boyfriend for 4 months. You do the math.' I replied bitterly, but I deserve to be bitter. The bastard cheated on me for a month.

'Oh... so I'm guessing the break up was bad and it still hurts.' he said sympathetically. I hate when people throw the sympathy at you. I thought I was past that stage.

'Yes to all of the above.'

He handed me the book, 'Maybe you need this a bit more than I do.' he said with a smirk. Then he walked off.

I don't know what it was, but I started to feel comfortable around that guy. Like I could talk to him for hours. I usually wouldn't tell random strangers my business,but with Mr. Perfect I felt I could trust him. Wait, what was his name?

********************************************************

The next day I went over to my friend's new house. She's having a house warming party. She said she was inviting about 20 people so I have to prepare myself ahead of time. With that many people there's bound to be one person who's going to ask about the 'Groucho Club incident' (as I now refer to it as).

I arrived about 30 minutes late. I hope Lena won't be mad at me. When I got there it was filled with people socializing and no one really noticed when I entered.

'Hey Simon, you're late.' I turned around and Lena was standing right behind me. She seemed to come out of nowhere.

'Yes, I know, I'm sorry. I got you a house warming gift.' I replied as I handed her the gift bag.

'Oh,' she snapped her fingers and looked like she just remembered something. 'I just remembered,'

'Ah, I suspected.'

'I wanted to introduce you to somebody.'

'Let me guess you're introducing me to a guy because he's gay and I'm gay, so that instantly means that we are compatible.' I rolled my eyes.

'No, because you will really like him. He's nice, handsome, funny, sweet - '

'Then why is he single?' I replied snappily.

'Why are you getting so worked up?' Lena asked patiently.

'I'm sorry Lena, I didn't mean to snap at you. Okay, show me the guy.' I said calmly.

'Alright, great! I'll bring him right over!' Lena said excitedly.

She happily walked around the corner to retrieve the 'dream guy'. She probably embellished about how great this guy is. I guess I'll be the judge of that. Barely a minute went by before Lena came back around the corner with a very good looking guy and he looked oddly familiar.

'Simon, this is the guy I wanted you to meet.'

He was tall and blonde , I usually don't go for the blondes but there was something about him that was intriguing.

'Isn't this a coincidence! We met at the bookstore just yesterday.' The guy exclaimed.

Oh my gosh, how could I forget Mr. Perfect. He's the one who I embarrassingly told him my break up story. Causing him to give me the book out of guilt. Oh how mortifying! Lena's trying to set me up with a guy who probably thinks I'm a mess.

'Oh that's just great! Well since you guys have already met, I should just leave you to yourselves.' Then Lena happily walked away.

I just stood there awkwardly not knowing what to say. I bet he feels sorry for me after hearing my little story yesterday.

'I know we haven't formally been introduced so I'm Andrew.'

'Oh, I'm Simon,' then we shook hands. We shook hands for gods sake! Are we making a business deal or something? Does my life have to be filled with embarrassing moments?

'Yeah I know, I've seen you on TV. You do that quiz program right.' then he flashed a smile. He has a brilliant smile.

'Well I'm not really doing that show anymore.' I replied a bit too snappily.

His smile faded, 'Oh, I'm sorry.'

'I wasn't fired. You could say I sort of... resigned. I'm filming a new TV show now. I don't need pity.'

'I wasn't trying to sound condescending.' he said stiffly.

'Well, it's a bit late for that.' I responded harshly.

'What is that supposed to mean?' he asked defensively.

'Well yesterday in the book store you said that I need the book more than you.

'You told me your story and yes it sounded like you needed the book more than I did so I gave it to you.That's not being condescending, that's being polite.'

'Well aren't you just Mr. Perfect!' Why do I always have to make a scene? Can I ever just control myself? 'You can't do any wrong can you? You know what... I'm tired of dealing with cunts like you. You think everyone is suppossed to play nice with you just because you're good looking.'

'All I was only tryng to have a conversation with you. God forbid anyone try to be nice to Simon! I thought being a bitch was just a tv persona but you're a bitch in real life too.' then he walked off.

I looked around the room and everyone was staring at me. I quickly went to the nearest exit. Well what I thought was the nearest exit. In actuality it was the bathroom. Either way I locked myself inside of it. Can I ever just enjoy myself?

I sat down on the toilet (lid down of course) and just tryed to calm myself down. I could of had a chance witht that great guy and I blew it. Then a knock startled me out of my thoughts. Probably some poor sod who has to use the bathroom. I opened the door and then I was violently pushed back into the bathroom and the door closed behind the person. I looked up and it was none other than Mr. Perfect himself aka Andrew.

'Sorry I didn't mean to push you that hard but you are a light weight.' he said with a laugh.

'Did you come in here to make fun of me?' I asked bitterly.

He sighed, 'No, I came in here to apologize. I don't know what got into me, but I'm not usually like that. I'm sorry for what I said I didn't mean it. Could we start over? I would like to go out with you... even if you just want to be friends.'

'You still want to know me after I called you a cunt?' Why am I bringing this up? He wants to go out with me, don't ruin this.

'Well I called you a bitch so I think we're even.'

'Yeah I woud like to start over. Oh and I'm sorry as well.'

'It's weird, it's like fate wants us to meet. First we happen to reach for the same book at the book store and now Lena is trying to set us up.'

'Yes we must be destined to be together.' I replied in a mocking tone.

'I believe we were at least supposed to meet. Do you want to go out to dinner on Friday?'

'Uh, sure what time?'

'How about 8 o'clock.'

'Eh, that's such a quintessential time to go out. How about 8.10.' I'm different so sue me.

'Okay I'll pick you up at 8.10 sharp and not a minute later.'

'Why are you going to pick me up? Like a guy would pick up a girl for a date. Were both guys, how about we meet each other there at 8.10.' Why am I so difficult?

He looked startled, 'Uh, okay sure we'll meet there. How about we exchange phone numbers so that we can coordinate more later.'

'Okay.'

To Be Continued...

by Justin

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