Homeless for a Night

HOMELESS FOR A NIGHT

                                                               by Mighty Mouth

            I’m Jack, and I am 45 years old.  I live in a very large city and there are many homeless here. I see them on the street all the time, and wonder how they got into that situation. I have also, on occasion, thought about what it might feel like to be homeless.

            I finally screwed up enough courage to try it. I bought a small bed roll, which I heavily soiled with dirt and gravy stains. I took my oldest blanket and cut several holes in it. I didn’t shave for 5 days before I took the plunge, dressed in worn-out clothes. I wanted to look as authentic as possible.

            I left my apartment at about 10 p.m. with $20, which I put in an secret pocket that I had sewed on the inside of my jeans, and it was not visible from the outside. Not having experience on where to “pitch my tent,” I stretched out beside a newsstand.  But it was at a very busy intersection, and I realized that I would get no sleep at all. So I went looking for a quieter place.

            I came across a triangle, where three streets met, and it was almost deserted. I settled in, very nervous, but excited just the same. Soon three Salvation Army ladies appeared. One asked, “Why don’t you come with us to our shelter, you will get a nice meal and a bath. And Jesus will help to turn your life around.”

            I angrily replied, “Why don’t you ladies get the fuck out of here and let me be?” After more pleading one of the three said, “Well, I guess this case is hopeless, let’s move on.”

            I tried to settle down, but soon a good-looking guy in his 20s approached. He didn’t come close, he stopped about 10 feet away from me. He was carrying a camera and what looked like a tape recorder. I wondered, “What’s this all about?”

            He practically yelled out, “Hey, my name is Ted, and I’m doing an article for the Daily Journal on the homeless.”

            I replied, “Why don’t you come closer? I won’t bite you.” Of course if I could have gotten his dick in my mouth, I certainly wouldn’t have bitten it.

            But he answered, “I prefer not to.”

            I wondered, “Is this what the homeless have to put up with every night?” So I shouted back at him, “Why don’t you be on your way, you coward!” With that he left, and once again I tried to “relax.”

            About 10 minutes later, I saw another guy coming in my direction. This one was carrying the tell-tale bedroll, but he looked as if he was on the way to or from the gym. He was handsome, muscular, and appeared to be in his late 20s.

            He said, “Hey good buddy, can I camp out here with you? You know it’s always safer in a group than being alone.” I was sure he wouldn’t rob me, because who in their right mind would try to rob a homeless guy?”

            Naturally I replied, “Be my guest. I feel more comfortable with company too.” With that he stretched out his bedroll beside me and lay down, pulling his blanket over his shoulders..

            “My name is Joe. How long you been on the street?” he queried.

            I told him my name was Jack, and added, “Well, to be honest, this is my first night and I am very nervous.”

            He assured me, “don’t worry man, nobody will bother you, not even the cops.”

            “How do you know that?”

            “That’s because I am a cop.”

            I froze. “What the hell, are you undercover?”

            “Not exactly. I used to be a cop until 3 months ago when I hit the streets.”

            I was completely taken aback. “What on earth happened to you?”

            “I lost my wife, my job, I no longer have a badge, and my life is destroyed.  I don’t know how to get out of this mess,” he confessed.

            “So how did this happen to you, if I may ask?”

            “One word - amphetamines.”

            “But how did that come about?”

            Joe replied, “It’s simple. A friend introduced me to them and I got hooked fast.”

            Worried, I asked bluntly, “Are you still on them?”

            “No, I checked into a clinic, and when I kicked the habit, they discharged me. But my wife nor the force would take me back again, and I lost all self-confidence. I really want out of this hell.”

            “And why are you on the street?” he quizzed

            I replied, “I’ll tell you tomorrow morning.” Then I said, “I’m a cocksucker and would love to give you a blow job.”

            “You’re kidding. I haven’t had any sex in so long I forgot what it’s like.”

            “Well, I can quickly refresh your memory,” I told him. I stuck my head under his cover, unbuttoned his pants, and pulled out a big dick. “What a big dick you’ve got,” I exclaimed.

            “Yes, and I am damned proud of it too.”

            When I swallowed his prick, he commented, “Damn, you give good head!”

            I cautioned him, “If anyone comes nearby, just tap me on the shoulder and I’ll stop until they pass by.” As expected, he shot his load quickly, and thanked me for the favor. Then I realized that  I had finally become a cop sucker, a long-wished-for occurrence.

            He fell asleep fast, and I finally managed to get some shut-eye.  At the crack of dawn, I woke him, and said, “Let’s get out of here. I know a place that will take you in.”

            “What is it?”

            “It’s a private apartment,” I assured him.

            “You gotta be kidding,” he exclaimed.

            “Just come with me,” I assured him.

            We both packed up and walked six blocks to an apartment building.

            Joe looked very puzzled when we arrived. “Whose place is this?”

            “It’s mine. I live here.”

            “What the hell! Then why were you sleeping on the street.”

            So I had to confess.  “I always wondered what it would be like, and I found out. One night for me is enough. I prefer the comfort of my little apartment.”

            When we entered Joe remarked, “Hey this is a cool pad you got here.”

            I realized that I might be taking a terrible risk, but I blurted out, “Yes, and you are welcome to sack out on my couch whenever you wish.”

            Joe exclaimed, “Good God!  I can’t believe this! Why are you so generous?

            “Because I like you and I trust you,” I replied.

            “Well, you are a wonder. I accept your offer,” Joe gushed.

Dear Reader. Should I write more episodes?  Mighty Mouth.